I was so stoked for RAW tonight. Bret Hart was a little before my time, but I'm still giddy like a school girl. I'm also happy to report that they cut out all bull shit and send Bret out right away.
Bret talks about how he misses wrestling, how he'd like to thank the fans, blah blah blah, a little bit of bull. But that all ends when he calls out HBK.
HBK comes out and Bret asks if he wants to bury the hatchet. They stand real close just in case they want to try kissing... you know, just to see what it's like? Shawn hasn't hooked up with another guy since his Rocker days. That's why Janetty didn't do anything after their break up, he suffered the worst injury known to man: heart break.
HBK starts by telling Bret that he did have a role in screwing Bret, and that Bret deserved it. Bret was disrespectful to the WWE (WWF) and the business. Bret says case in point... There was a case? I thought you were trying to make up with him.
Shawn continues to tell Bret that he doesn't regret screwing him, even though he respects him. Things aren't looking good for the Hitman-HBK love fest.
They both agree they respect each other, and they both agree that they were annoying back in the day. And what do you know, they shake hands. HBK starts to walk away and stops with his back turned to Bret.
Me to the TV: Don't be caught off guard Bret, he's dangerous with his back turned... kind of like Voldo in Soul Calibur 2.
Shawn doesn't hit Bret with SCM though, no, he hits him with a big ol' bear hug, and not the kind Mark Henry puts on him.
HBK leaves to his own music (it's nice to hear instead of the Dx theme) but Bret isn't done. He calls out Vince McMahon to a flurry of boos. The boss doesn't show, and Bret looks a little annoyed.
There is good news though... Kofi vs. Orton has been announced for tonight!!!
We get back from commercial break, and what do you know, it's Vince McMahon! He just left a meeting, and Josh Matthews informs him that Bret has called Vince out. Vince is insulted, and says that he will call Bret out... later... tonight. He is not as enthusiastic as Bret.
Cole announces that Melina got hurt at a live show, and she is vacating the belt. You can hear Bret cursing his luck in the background. There will be a divas tournament to determine the new champ which means lots of diva wrestling tonight! What every wrestling fan wants, yes!
Maryse vs. Brie Bella
Maryse comes out first and the Bella twins are out to face her, though it looks like it's only going to be one of them. According to the announcers, it's Brie wrestling, but they aren't really sure. I sure as hell cant tell them apart.
Brie is kicking some French-Canadian ass, tossing Maryse all over the ring. She's actually looking pretty good. Nikki slams Maryse into the announce table, but it doesn't seem to phase her too much. Maryse goes on the offense. Nikki comes in instead of Brie, but it makes no difference. Maryse hits her finisher, The French Kiss, and gets the pin.
The match was pretty bad, but Maryse is smoking, so I give it 3/10 stars.
I haven't watched RAW in a few weeks, so this might be new music for The Miz, either way I'm not a fan. Miz tells Maryse he might call her back if she wins the tournament. Maryse looks at him with do me eyes. I'm kind of getting aroused. He walks to the announce table to do commentary on a Fatal Four-way to determine the number one contender for the US Championship.
MVP vs. Swagger vs. (commercial...) Carlito vs. Mark Henry
When we come back from commercial, we find that the heels have the advantage in this match. Carlito takes full advantage and starts pounding on Jack Swagger. It occurred to be during this match we have two guys who's greatest accomplishments were ECW reigns, and two guys who made their name with USA title reigns. Interesting. Miz says he hangs out with Spencer Pratt, which I don't think anyone finds cool. Mark Henry climbs back in the ring and throws MVP out. He starts dominating. He puts Carlito in a bear hug (speak of the devil) but Swagger breaks it up. Henry picks up Swagger, but gets kicked in the face by MVP. MVP clears the ring and then hits Swagger with a playmaker and gets the win. MVP taunts Miz, who affectionately calls him Cornrow, clearly after Revolutionary War general Cornrow Wallis.
This match was ok, I'll give it a 6/10.
Marine commercial! Apparently it's based on true events this time. Looks like shit.
Jericho has a plan, and goes to talk to Bret Hart. Jericho talks to Bret about training in the dungeon and how he was touched by Bret and HBK making up, even though he knows deep down inside Bret still hates Shawn. Jericho asks Bret to be the Guest Referee and help Jericho screw Shawn. Bret tells Jericho he doesn't want to be like him, and Jericho looks hurt. Ouch, the best wrestler to ever come out of Canada just told you he doesn't want to be like you. He also says Jericho screamed louder than anyone else in The Dungeon.
Hornswoggle does imitations of various WWE wrestlers with HHH while pitching action figures. It's mildly amusing actually. He knows how to say "yeah"! I'm actually laughing out loud at this. Horny looks a little Asian here. Santino does a Jericho impression, and it's pretty funny. Hornswoggle attacks him, and the funniness ends. HHH calls Hornswggle like he's a dog. That's not demeaning at all. Dx vs. Jerishow next, no guest referee.
DX vs. Jerishow
DX comes out first to a big pop. I'm taking this time to wonder what's going on on TNA. To be honest, it's probably just as good as what's going on here on RAW, as this has not been overly impressive yet. Some people may be getting instant woodies from seeing Bret Hart, but I am not in that group. Maryse is the only person who's given me any pant parties tonight. Jerishow out to boos, no surprises here.
Shawn and Big Show start things off, Shawn generally having the upper hand, until Show hits a double supplex on both HBK and HHH. Commercial... Jericho kicks HHH and tags Show in. HHH turns it around momentarily, but Show regains control. Jericho back in, more HHH punishment. Jericho taunts the crowd and locks HHH in a submission. HHH breaks out and hits a spinebuster. Big Show tags in before HHH can tag HBK. Big Show goes for a top rope move, and HHH avoids it. HBK tags in and Shawn goes to work on Big Show. Vintage Shawn Michaels! (I came up with that one myself). HBK sets up for a flying elbow, but Jericho pulls him down. Hornswaggle gets involved by hopping on Big Show. HBK goes for a cover, but Show kicks out. HBK goes for SCM and counters it into a Chokeslam. He goes for a delayed cover, but HBK kicks out. Jericho tags in and goes for a Lion Sault, but Shawn avoided it. Failed Walls of Jericho attempt, and HHH hits the pedigree. Show breaks up the pin, but he gets pedigreed. This match has REALLY turned around here. Jericho pushes HHH into HBK, and goes for a roll-up, but HHH kicks out. HHH goes to pick up Jericho, but get's a codebreaker. Jericho covers, but gets broken up by HBK. Jericho kicks Hornswaggle in the head, doing what the WWE universe has been wanting for a year. Jericho tries to lock HHH in the Walls, but he gets hit with SCM while the ref is distracted by Horny. HHH covers him, and gets the win. DX retains.
Until the last 2 minutes of this match, it was a 5/10. The last two minutes, however, were really good and suspenseful, and Dx pulled it out. Lots of twists and turns, and this match worked it's way up to an 8/10. Jericho is gone from RAW for good now... right? Dx seems to think so. Show looks upon Jericho with contempt, and walks away. Poor Chris, without a friend in the world.
Dx and the camera crew hangs around to see Jericho out of the arena. Nanana hey hey hey goodbye chant going. He doesn't look happy. He should see the bright side in leaving RAW, think of all the money he'll save on travel expenses.
Someone is knocking on Mr. McMahon's door, and McMahon is pissed. Who is it? Why it's Randy Orton of course! Vince tells Orton that what Bret did is nothing compared to what Orton did to his family. Orton says he'd like to kill the legend of Bret Hart. He says if he has McMahon's back and punts Bret in the head, he gets into the Royal Rumble at entry number 30. McMahon declines the offer, and Orton is pissed. His underwear models come to tell him they will be at ring side tonight to watch Kofi. They tell him if he doesn't beat Kofi that they will kick Orton out of Legacy.
I take this commercial break to tune into TNA. Joe vs. Abyss or Kofi vs. Orton? I'll take Kofi vs. Orton every time thank you very much. Sting is there too apparently. Hmmm, this could be exciting if more legends come back to TNA. It'll be like playing Legends of Wrestlemania, only it'll be a lot slower, less interesting, and everyone will be much fatter/more out of shape; I'm sold.
Mike Tyson is hosting RAW next week! I'm excited about that, he was great in The Hangover. I want to see him play along with Phil Collins again.
Cena and Sheamus promo, and Sheamus comes out to a fairly dead crowd. I don't think he's too over as a heel yet. Funny sign that says "The Champ is Irish!" with a little Sheamus beard being held up behind him. He says he's not going to defend his title against John Cena at Royal Rumble, and he wants a new challenge. Sheamus wants Bret! Looks like he'll get Evan Bourne instead. I see the similarities... they're both a lot shorter than Sheamus. Bourne steals the microphone and jumps out of the ring. He says he can beat him. Sheamus accepts the challenge.
Sheamus vs. Evan Bourne for a match at the Royal Rumble
Going back to what I said about Kofi vs. Orton or Joe vs. Abyss, I'd still choose Kofi-Orton. However, I'd take Joe-Abyss over Bourne-Sheamus any day, simply because of Joe.
Bourne goes ape shit on Sheamus and hits the Shooting Star Press on Sheamus really early, but Sheamus kicks out. He then attempts a flying cross body, but Sheamus catches him and begins an ass whoopin. Crowd chants for Cena. Sheamus beats Bourne, and in the words of Jerry Seinfeld, Eh that's a shame.
Match was kind of pointless, but it was fast and displayed both of these guys' skills, which are quite impressive. Nonetheless, they could have used this time to do something more interesting, so I give it a 5/10.
So far the wrestling has been fairly unimpressive. The Dx vs. Jerishow bout was good, and the Fatal 4 way was ok at best. Other than that, we had a shit match that nobody wants to see in Sheamus vs. Bourne and a pretty bad diva's match. I'm starting to lose faith in Maryse's wrestling skills, though she hasn't really been given the opportunity to go on the offense too much lately. Kofi vs. Orton should make up for it, and they're up next!
The drama, however, has been pretty good. Not as much Bret-Vince as I thought, but rest assured, it seems that we will have our fair share of that later. The HBK-Bret interaction that opened the show was very good, and seeing them hug was significant in my opinion. Also, seeing a possible alliance between Vince and Orton is very interesting. Also, Maryse looked so damn sexy tonight. She'd get the bat in a second.
They show the same promo now that they did at the beginning of the show with a little extra clips of interviews with Bret and Vince. I wish they'd show HBK running up the ramp with all sorts of guys surrounding him, but I guess it's not about Shawn now, it's about Vince. I predict Vince get's another black eye tonight, this time it will be kayfabe though.
OMG! There's a TNA commerical on USA advertising the Hulk's return on TNA with Hogan dropping all his lines!!!!!! They're saying switch over now! Hilarious!!! I'm amazed it made it's way on the air quite frankly. I don't think anyone is switching over at this point, but who knows?
Kofi vs. Orton
If you know me, you may know I am a big Kofi mark, so anything he's doing lately I mark out for. This match will be no different.
Match starts with Kofi in control, he's kicking Randy all around the ring and hits him with an outside dive. Orton attempts to hit Kofi with a DDT off the ropes, but Kofi counters and suplexes him out of the ring. Rhodes and DiBiase are sitting at ringside, and they are sitting as still as gargoyles. Commercial... Orton now seems to be in control and has Kofi in a head lock. Orton stomps away at Kofi and taunts the crowd. Orton continues to use heel tactics to beat up Kofi. Kofi fights to his feet and collides with Orton, and both men go down. They get up at around the same time, but Kofi gets the upper hand. Kofi beats up on Orton and hits the boom drop and starts pumping up the crowd with some more booms preparing for Trouble in Paradise, but Orton jumps out of the ring. Kofi hits a suicide dive and throws Orton in the ring, and then hits a huge cross body. Orton kicks out of a pin attempt, and tries to throw Kofi out of the ring, but Kofi counters with an S.O.S, Orton blocks Trouble in Paradise, and counters with an RKO. He gets the 3 count and wins the match. The two younger members of Legacy don't look happy.
Despite Kofi losing, the match was very good. Best of the night so far, even a little better than the Dx-Jerishow match. 8.5/10
Vince is power walking to the ring. He wishes everyone happy new year and says everything with Bret and the screwjob is in the past and over, clearly trying to avoid any confrontation with Hart. However, Bret shows up on the RAW stage, and walks to the ring sans music. Bret chants in the audience. I am very excited.
Vince becomes very nervous and has trouble looking Bret in the eye. He still stands by his opinion that Bret screwed Bret. McMahon wants Bret to know that basically his opinion hasn't changed at all, and tells Bret he wants to hear what he has to say, especially if those words are, "I'm sorry."
Bret's turn to talk now. He has a lot of words to say, but he's thinking of a different two words that I'm sorry. Bret says he's halfway to getting closure, but he's not there yet. I'm predicting right now an I'm Sorry match at a future PPV. Bret says he knows they both want to get closure.
McMahon says what he originally wanted was to kick Bret in the guts, but Bret is right, they both want to get this off their back. He takes a walk down memory lane, (did Vince just say the WB champion?) and starts complimenting Bret, and bringing up that he was like a father figure to Bret. Vince starts talking about Stu and says he'd like to nominate him to the WB (I think he means WWE) hall of fame.
Vince is being really nice to Bret, thanking him and shit, and Vince finally thanks him for being the best there is, best there was, and best there ever will be. Bret's music hits, but Bret doesn't look done. Vince throws their microphones out of the ring, and they hold hands and hold each other's hands up in victory. They let go... and pose a little, and Vince kicks Bret in the gut! Boo-fest 2010 starts, and Vince walks away from the ring. He turns around and looks at Bret, who is now in the ring looking real pissed. This isn't over, not by a long shot.
Overall? The wrestling on this RAW was ok. Two very good matches, two shit matches, and one match that was mediocre. However, the events with Bret Hart were very good, and I'm definitely going to watch RAW instead of TNA next week to see what's next.
I give this RAW an 8/10. Very good RAW.
