Movie Review Thread

[TLC]

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey​

The Hobbit, Peter Jackson’s newest epic fantasy adventure and also the first of the trilogy. A trilogy that also doesn’t need to happen, but I digress. The film centres around a young, lonely hobbit named Bilbo Baggins, played my Martin Freeman. Bilbo is tidy, neat and seems to be compulsive over cleanliness. This is until one day the great wizard Gandalf the Grey (Ian Mckellen) comes knocking on his tiny door. Before he knows it, his hole is filled with 13 dwarves; no it isn’t a porno. Not soon after, Bilbo is whisked away to god knows where by the dwarves and their leader Thorin (Richard Armitage). Away they go on their ponies to start the greatest adventure in the young hobbit’s life.

Peter Jackson does a very good job with the film. Though, he is overrated, I feel he does a very good job with Tolkien novels. He makes the film big, beautiful, audacious and at times a little too real. The film was shot in 48 FPS (frames per second), the first of its kind; which in itself is an achievement. It makes everything looks crisper and more defined and well I guess prettier. It takes a little to get used to but throughout latter parts of the film, it definitely works. I also forked out an extra pound for 3D and for once I wasn’t bitter about it. Jackson uses the 3D well, but not too much that is becomes obnoxious. There is still the scenery shots which you come to expect from a Peter Jackson movie but it doesn’t take anything away from the film.

The cast for this is actually quite solid with Martin Freeman putting on the performance of his life and better than I ever expected him to be. Ian Mckellen and Andy Serkis are both fantastic which I guess is expected. None of the dwarves bar Richard Armitage’s Thorin get much screen time but everyone plays their parts well.

With a run time of about 170 minutes or something like that (who gives a fuck about specifics), one would think the film gets boring. For the most part I guess it doesn’t, the first hour or so didn’t really captivate me but I was never once bored. Once it’s past the middle part, the film seemingly switches to a higher gear and is highly entertaining. The film offers a more humorous, lighter film compared to its successors, yet somehow still manages to feel like a prequel which is unfair unfortunately. The LOTR cameos and added scenes don’t help to shrug off this feeling either. I won't go in too much details as I'll probably end up spoiling some parts.

If I’m honest, I liked this film more than I expected; this may be due the fact that people hadn’t overrated it like they have the LOTR trilogy. It’s not a perfect by any means but I did enjoy it and I’m looking forward to the sequels which I guess is the point. They should have just made two and got it done with but damn Hollywood for wanting to make money. If you like the LOTR films then you’ll probably like this movie, and if you didn’t then there’s still a high chance that you’ll enjoy this. Oh, and yes, there are lots and lots of walking.

TLC's rating: ***1/2

 

[Mitch Henessey]

The Collection (2012)

Elena Peters (Emma Fitzpatrick) is trying to enjoy a quiet night at home, but Elena’s friends are going to a secret rave. After thinking it over, Elena leaves her father alone, and she decides to go to the rave with her friends. Elena starts to loosen up and have a good time….until she runs into her cheating boyfriend. Out of anger, Elena punches her boyfriend in the face, but Elena’s plans to leave the party early are put on hold, when she accidentally finds Arkin (Josh Stewart). The Collector appears, and unleashes a series of diabolical traps to kill everyone at the rave. Arkin (the sole survivor from the previous film) narrowly escapes, but The Collector is able to kidnap Elena.

While in the hospital, Arkin receives an offer from Lucello (Lee Tergesen), a trusted associate for Elena’s wealthy father. Arkin must lead Lucello and his team of mercenaries to The Collector's hideout, so they can rescue Elena, and if the mission is a success, Elena’s father will pull some strings to clear up Arkin’s dirty rap sheet. But when Lucello and the mercenaries arrive at The Collector’s hideout, Lucello forces Arkin inside, and he instantly changes the deal: Arkin must fight with the mercenaries, as they try to rescue Elena.

Stewart and Fitzpatrick deliver the best performances, and Erin Way is a nice edition to the cast. Abby (Way) is The Collector’s unstable prisoner, and Way’s loopy performance is enjoyable. The Collector is still creepy and vicious, and they still didn’t show his face, but The Collector actually speaks in this film.

The Collection is an upgrade over The Collector. The Collection actually provides some intense action sequences, the traps are more complex and brutal, and we learn more about The Collector’s past here. There’s a good cliffhanger at the end, and I enjoyed this film, but The Collector series might fall into the Saw trap. After the first film, Saw sacrificed storytelling, sensible plots, and character development for more sickening gross-out moments and bloody gore. I expected a downfall after Saw III (unfortunately, I was right), and those same feelings resurfaced after watching The Collection. The Collector will probably devolve into a shit-fest of undecipherable storylines, or an obscene barrage of torture porn calamities, as the filmmakers play a one-upsmanship game of “let’s outdo everyone else,” but I’m hoping for something different. The Collector has some potential, but the similarities to the Saw franchise scare me.

Oh, and If you can’t handle sadistic torture scenes, graphic gore, and lots of blood, you should stay away from The Collection.

Rating: 6/10

 

[Mitch Henessey]

Catch .44 (2011)

In Louisiana, three women prepare for a drug heist. Tes (Malin Akerman), Dawn (Deborah Ann Woll), and Kara (Nikki Reed) work for Mel (Bruce Willis), a ruthless and powerful druglord. After botching a previous assignment, Mel gives his trusted associates one more chance: go to a diner out in the middle of nowhere, wait for the driver of a rival cartel, who’s carrying a large shipment of cocaine, hijack the truck, and bring the cocaine back to Mel.

Tes is the leader of the group, and she shares a trusted bond with Mel, Dawn just follows the blueprint for the plan without asking any questions, but Kara suspects something fishy. Dawn is able to play the role of a peacemaker after a heated argument between Tes and Kara, but the driver doesn’t show up, as Tes, Dawn, and Kara wait inside the diner.

Anxious and eager for answers, Tes decides to uncover the truth by drawing guns on the diner employees. During the standoff, Kara and Dawn are shot to death by a diner employee and a “truck driver,” but Tes emerges as the only survivor from Mel‘s group. Confused and devastated, Tes pressures Billy (Shea Whigham), the remaining diner employee, into telling her the truth, but Ronny‘s (Mel’s right hand man) unexpected appearance complicates Tes’ life-or-death dilemma. Ronny (Forest Whitaker) tries to convince Tes and Billy to drop their guns, but they refuse. Ronny pulls out his gun, and he urges Tes to kill Billy. Tes hesitates, as Billy explains the trap Mel set up, but Tes will have to make up her mind before it’s too late. Who will she choose? Billy or Ronny?

Bruce Willis is believable, as the cold-hearted drug lord. Tes is the strongest female character in this film, and Malin Akerman’s performance is spot on. I couldn’t comprehend the reason behind his Spanish accent, but Forest Whitaker is entertaining as Ronny.

Acting isn’t the problem here, because the cast is rock solid. But the nonlinear storyline is very, very, very, VERY annoying. The storytelling for Catch .44 isn’t cool or stylistic, it’s just fucking irritating. For example, they replay the standoff scene at the diner over and over and over again. Yes, I get the whole “we want to show you everything from different points of view” ideology, but come on, I don’t need to see the same fucking scene four or fives times.

Of course, if you make a crime drama with a nonlinear storyline now a days, you’re going to draw comparisons to Tarantino and Pulp Fiction (or Reservoir Dogs), it’s unavoidable. Was Aaron Harvey (the writer and director for this film) trying to mimic Tarantino’s style? Probably, because you can’t ignore the similarities, but if Harvey was trying to create a Tarantino-esque film, he failed. It’s that simple, and I can’t sugar coat it.

Also, the sidebar conversations and jokes in this film are TERRIBLE. The sidebar conversations aren’t funny, thought-provoking, or insightful, and they didn’t add anything to the story. Harvey opens Catch .44 with a pointless and unfunny conversation between Tes, Dawn, and Kara about leaving the toilet seat up and the rules of sex. Later on, Dawn tells this horribly corny joke about a priest, nuns, and the consequences for touching a man’s genitals. Maybe I just have a bad sense of humor, but I tired, and I still couldn’t laugh at this joke.

It’s a damn shame, because Catch .44 had the right cast, and a decent enough premise, but the ass-backwards style of storytelling is too frustrating. Catch .44 features a few scenes of graphic bloody violence, and during the beginning, the “who done it?” mystery is intriguing, but overall, Harvey’s attempt at creating a clever crime drama falls flat.

Rating: 2/10

 

[Mitch Henessey]

Hitchcock (2012)

Facing intense pressure from his superiors, Alfred Hitchcock (Anthony Hopkins) prepares to make another film. Hitchcock tries to balance a rocky relationship with his neglected wife, Alma (Helen Mirren), while pursuing a risky project. Hitchcock decides to adapt the suspense novel Psycho, but Paramount is scared off by the controversy, so they refuse to provide funding for the film. Hitchcock is determined to bring Psycho to the big screen, so he makes a deal with Paramount: Hitchcock will personally finance Psycho, and Paramount will distribute the film.

Paramount agrees, but Hitchcock runs into a series of problems during filming. In the cast, some uncomfortable feelings with Vera Miles (Jessica Biel) resurface, and Hitchcock pushes Janet Leigh (Scarlett Johansson) to her limits. Hitchcock will have to fight censorship, health problems, work through problems in his failing marriage, and uphold his reputation as The Master Of Suspense.

Anthony Hopkins provides the perfect Alfred Hitchcock impersonation, and as expected, Helen Mirren delivers a strong performance. Besides having the “spitting image look” for Vera Miles and Janet Leigh, Jessica Biel and Scarlett Johansson really didn’t bring anything special to their characters on the acting side of things. Well, I guess Johansson deserves some credit for mimicking Leigh’s hysterical screaming during the famous shower scene.

Hitchcock isn’t a biopic. This film just focuses on the ups and downs during the making of Psycho. But you know what, I didn’t have a problem with this approach. He’s known for making many great films, but when you think about or mention Hitchcock, 99.9% of the time, Psycho is the first film that comes to mind. Think about it, unless you’re a real die hard fan, would you watch a James Cameron docudrama, that revolved around True Lies? A Spielberg docudrama about the War Of The Worlds remake? Psycho is often credited as the one film that created and validated modern horror, so it only makes sense for Psycho to be the one Hitchcock film, that receives so much attention.

I enjoyed Hitchcock, but the tonal shifts between horror and drama are kind of annoying. Throughout the film, Hitchcock has nightmares about Norman Bates committing and planing murders. The nightmare sequences about Bates feel spooky and eerie, but when the story returns to the struggles in Alfred’s marriage, and his troubles with Psycho, Hitchcock shifts back into drama mode.

Director Sacha Gervasi style isn’t something to brag about, but he deserves some praise for paying homage to Alfred Hitchcock by imitating the intro and outro for Alfred Hitchcock Presents.

Helen Mirren might receive on Oscar nomination, because…..well, she’s Helen Mirren. Although, I would be surprised to see an Oscar nomination for Hopkins. He’s spot on as Hitchcock, but Hitch’s comical side in this film might hurt Hopkins’ chances for a nomination.

Rating: 7/10

 

[Mitch Henessey]

247°F (2011)

Three years after losing her boyfriend in a tragic car accident, Jenna (Scout Taylor-Compton) agrees to go on a vacation with her best friend Renee (Christina Ulloa). Jenna joins Renee, her boyfriend Michael (Michael Copon), and Michael’s friend Ian (Travis Van Winkle) at a lakeside cabin. Ian’s uncle, Wade (Tyler Mane) owns the cabin, and his custom-built sauna is the main attraction.

After swimming in the cold lake, Ian urges everyone to enjoy the sauna. Although, Michael’s obnoxious drunk behavior upsets Renee, so Michael leaves the sauna. Frustrated and tired of the heat, Renee tries to leave, but something from the outside is blocking the door to the sauna. Jenna is without her anti-depressant medication, Ian tries to reassure his friends, but Renee panics, and things only get worse, when the sauna’s temperature controls malfunction after a careless mistake. Wade is producing a local fireworks show, and Michael is trying to sleep off his hangover. Breaking the window on the Sauna door provides some temporary relief, but the survivors are running out of water and time.

Seeing Scout Taylor-Compton and Tyler Mane on the same screen together again provided a great geek-out moment for me. Scout Taylor-Compton was the new Laurie Strode in Rob Zombie's Halloween films, and Tyler Mane played Michael Myers. Man, seeing Mane without the mask felt so weird.

Anyway, Scout Taylor-Compton delivers the best performance. Compton is convincing, and she really nailed Jenna’s fragile personality. Travis Van Winkle is OKAY at best, and his over the top “I’M GOING CRAZY!” tirade at the end couldn’t elevate his performance. With the exception of a nervous breakdown at the end, Michael Copon’s lifeless performance is painful to watch. Christina Ulloa is decent enough, but her character is very annoying. And Wade is a terrible person (an uncle, who gives homemade alcohol and weed to teens, and he’s related to one of them? Seriously?), but it’s not fair to judge Tyler Mane’s performance or lack there of. Wade only has a handful of brief appearances in this film, and his screen time is limited.

Spoiler

Looking for a jaw-dropping and diabolical twist explaining the blocked door in 247°F? Don’t hold your breath, because this is what happened: During his drunken stumbling outside, Michael unknowingly blocks the sauna door with Wade’s ladder, trapping his friends inside.

Yeah, I know, it sounds very lame, but 247°F is based on real life events. I didn’t listen to the DVD commentary, but I’m guessing the filmmakers took the respectful approach to the reasons behind the blocked door. It’s a deflating revelation, but revealing the truth behind the blocked door didn‘t bother me at all. For me, 247°F reached the dead in the water point of no return at the fifty-two minute mark, and I just didn‘t care anymore.

The suspense and thrills from the plight of a steamy and claustrophobic prison doesn’t last long, because 247°F quickly devolves into a barrage of annoying complaints from the Renee character, and “this is your fault!” shouting matches. And more importantly, 247°F is VERY boring. 247°F loses a lot of steam (no pun intended) after Renee, Jenna, and Ian realize their inescapable and life-threatening dilemma, and Renee’s constant whining is just unbearable.

Rating: 1/10

 

[Mitch Henessey]

The Caller (2011)

**SPOILERS**

Trying to escape her abusive ex-husband, Mary (Rachelle Lefevre) moves into a new apartment. Mary develops a strange obsession with an antique phone in the apartment, and soon enough, Mary receives calls from a woman named Rose (Lorna Raver). At first, Mary enjoys Rose’s company, but Rose’s friendly calls quickly turn into a series of vicious threats.

Mary seeks help from her new neighbors John (Stephen Moyer) and George (Luis Guzmán), but when Mary accuses Rose of time travel, her story becomes more difficult to believe. Steven’s (Mary’s ex-husband) defiance against the restraining takes a backseat to Mary’s major problem, when Rose starts killing off the people closest to Mary in the past. After pressuring George into giving her some answers, Mary learns the devastating truth about her apartment’s history: years ago, Rose lived in Mary’s apartment, and as the jealous and controlling wife, Rose suddenly murdered her husband one night. Mary is running out of solutions for her bizarre problem, and the situation takes a drastic turn for the worst, when Rose finds Mary as a child in the past…..

Nobody gives an outstanding or terrible performance worthy of individual recognition here, but The Caller features a capable cast overall.

You might enjoy The Caller…..if you can buy into the story, and believe me, that’s easier said than done. First of all, I had a problem with Rose locating Mary’s friends/lovers in the past. How is it possible? Except for first names, Mary didn’t reveal any crucial details (last names, address numbers, etc.). And how did Rose find Mary as a child in the past? I can understand if Mary lived in Rose’s apartment complex as a child, but she didn’t. In the past, Rose uses hot cooking oil to burn Mary as a child, and of course, the wounds appear on adult Mary’s body. Mary’s burns could’ve been the “OH MY GOD THAT WAS SICK!” gross-out moment of the film, but I couldn’t look past the plot holes for Rose finding Mary as a child.

But wait, it gets better! Towards the very end of the film, Rose is fed up with Mary’s games and lies (earlier in the film, Mary tries to trick Rose into a fatal accident during a phone conversation), so she decides to travel to the present to kill Mary, and she shows up at Mary‘s front door? Um, okay, how is this possible??? Did Mary use some kind of secret time machine? Because the story NEVER explains how Rose was able to travel through time, come to the present, and try to kill Mary. And more importantly, if Rose was capable of traveling through time from the start, then why didn’t she use time travel to kill Mary in the first place? Instead, she wastes time threatening Mary via phone calls, giving Mary a chance to come up with a strategy to kill her? That doesn’t make sense at all.

And speaking of the ending, it was kind of ridiculous. So Rose shows up to Mary’s apartment in the future. She’s trying to break through the front door, and finish Mary off once and for all. Out of panic and desperation, Mary picks up the antique phone, and she calls herself as a child in the past. In the past, Rose kidnaps Mary as a child, but the child version of Mary is the only hope for Mary in the future. Yeah, I know it’s more confusing and off the wall than it sounds. Anyway, after gaining the trust of Mary in the past, future Mary convinces child Mary to pick up a piece of broken glass, and kill Rose in the past? So now there’s two adult Roses, and somehow they’re capable of being in two time periods at once? Okay then. Child Mary eventually finds Rose in the past, and she kills her with the broken piece of glass. Rose in the future suddenly disappears, and future Mary orders child Mary to go home.

The Caller features a VERY shaky story, and if you can’t buy into it, you’ll probably hate this film, it’s just that simple. It’s annoying and baffling, but you know what, I’m not going with a negative score here. The Caller is a trainwreck from beginning to end, but I couldn’t pull myself away from this trainwreck. The Caller is a nonsensical mess, but this film was able to hold my attention, and I wanted to know what happened next. I was hooked into every dumbfounding twist and turn, and she’s not too bright, but I rooted for Mary’s survival. It’s not a unique or sophisticated suspense thriller, but I’m giving The Caller a “guilty pleasure” pass.

Rating: 5/10

 

[Mitch Henessey]

Before I move on, I have to point out an error in The Caller review. Watched it again this morning, and John is Mary's teacher at a night school class, he's not a neighbor. I guess I forgot to pay attention to his backstroy, because I was so wrapped up in trying to understand the story the first time around.

The Loved Ones

Heartbroken over his father’s death, Brent (Xaiver Samuel) hides his pain by cutting himself in the torso, and smoking marijuana. Brent’s overprotective mother, Carla (Suzi Dougherty) tries to provide comfort, but Brent fights his mother’s ongoing mission to shield him from the real world.

Distant and anti-social, Brent finds solace in his girlfriend, Holly (Victoria Thaine), as they prepare to go to the senior prom together. One day, Brent receives a random and unexpected request for a date to the prom. A shy and nervous Lola (Robin McLeavy) asks Brent to the prom, but Brent politely refuses.

In an attempt to clear his head before the prom, Brent spends some time alone at a secret hideaway. But Lola’s father attacks him from behind, and he kidnaps Brent. Brent awakes tied to a chair in Lola’s house. Lola’s father or “Daddy” (John Brumpton) has set up a prom-like atmosphere. Lola is the Princess, and whether he likes it or not, Brent is the King. Brent has to play along with Lola’s prom, or he will suffer a slow and agonizing death.

The entire cast is spot on. McLeavy is the perfect psycho, Brumpton is believable, as the deranged and loyal father, and Samuel nails the Brent character. He’s a broken high school student, who can’t let go of the past, and for me, Samuel was the highlight of this cast. And she doesn’t speak a word in this film, but you can’t ignore Anne Scott-Pendlebury’s (Bright Eyes/Lola’s mother) unsettling presence.

Director Sean Byrne spares no expense for gory violence. Lola literally drills a hole in Brent’s head, Brent’s feet are nailed to the floor, and Daddy threatens to nail Brent’s penis to the chair, when Brent refuses to pee inside a glass. If you’re looking for lots of blood and guts, The Loved Ones won’t disappoint you at all.

I don’t have any major complaints about Byrne’s directing, but his screenplay? That’s another issue. Why, and I mean WHY in the name of all things holy did Lola and Daddy torture Brent? Lola is a fragile young girl, that’s obvious, but fuck, you have to really hate someone to kidnap and torture them. Sorry, but the “you won’t go with me to the prom!” stuff is not good enough, and I couldn’t buy into Lola’s motivations for torturing Brent.

Plus, the story takes a wild turn towards the end. After labeling Brent a “frog,” Lola decides her father is the true love of her life? That’s right, so after torturing this poor kid, she suddenly DECIDES she’s in love with her father. And Byrne cuts away from it at after a distraction from Brent, but Lola was clearly about to kiss her father on the lips during the King and Queen dance.

And to add another bizarre layer to this story, Lola and her father apparently have a habit of kidnapping and torturing young guys/potential prom dates. Beneath the floor in her house, Lola has a secret pit that houses mutilated teenage guys (or “frogs“). Also, after suffering through the torture from Lola and Daddy, the mutilated teens become bloodthirsty cannibals? Again, WHY? Can anyone else think of a legit reason to hold cannibals in Lola’s house? I tried to think of an answer, but I couldn’t come up with one.

Plus, Byrne adds this fucking stupid and pointless storyline with two other high school kids. The guy is a shy and uptight pothead, and his date is a depressed and creepy goth chick. Byrne WASTED so much time with both characters, because they don’t serve a purpose for the main story arc.

The Loved Ones is loaded with sickening bloody gore and sadistic torture scenes, and the bloody stuff is more than capable of bringing a few squirms out of you, but the story is an unfocused mess. An illogical kidnapping and torture storyline devolves into a brief and creepy incest love story between Lola and Daddy. And it didn’t work for me, but Byrne tries to compensate for the shabby story with an endless amount of gross-out moments.

I honestly can’t understand the praise for this film. The Loved Ones has a 97% on Rotten Tomatoes, and the vast majority of horror fans worship this piece of shit. Don’t buy into the hype, because The Loved Ones is not a modern day horror classic at all.

Rating: 1/10

 

[Mitch Henessey]

Retreat (2011)

**SPOILERS**

Martin (Cillian Murphy) and Kate (Thandie Newton) Kennedy are visiting a remote island for their annual holiday retreat. Doug (Jimmy Yuill) is a close friend, and he owns a cottage on the island, which happens to be the only dwelling. Doug’s ferry provides the only reliable form of transportation to and from the island, but Martin and Kate are targeting a much needed vacation with no visits to the mainland.

Kate’s miscarriage has put a strain on the marriage, and Kate and Martin receive an unexpected surprise one day. Bloody and beaten, a stranger wearing military fatigues collapses in front of the cottage. Martin and Kate take the unconscious soldier inside, giving him a chance to rest, and eventually get back on his feet.

But as he sleeps off his injuries, Kate notices a gun on the soldier’s waist. Martin carefully removes the gun, but when he finally wakes up, the soldier reveals a devastating pandemic. Pvt. Jack Coleman (Jamie Bell) is a survivor from the outbreak of a deadly airborne disease called the Argromoto Flu. According to Coleman’s story, anyone who leaves the cottage or the island is in danger of catching the Argromoto Flu, which causes a painful, bloody death. Jack convinces Martin to board up the house, and stay put until the threat of the disease passes, but Kate isn’t buying into Jack’s story. Tensions rise, and as time passes, one thing becomes clear, Jack will not let Martin and Kate leave the cottage under any circumstances.

A good debut for director Carl Tibbetts. Tibbetts creates the perfect tense and eerie atmosphere, and there’s a strong sense of looming danger and fear throughout Retreat. It’s an impressive feat for a film that primarily revolves around three characters.

No real complaints from the cast. Thandie Newton and Cillian Murphy are believable, as the distraught and terrified married couple, and Jamie Bell’s “I’M NOT CRAZY!” act is entertaining. Doug isn’t worth mentioning, because you see him at the beginning, and then that’s it.

Was Jack telling the truth about the Argromoto Flu? Or is Jack just a nutcase, who’s taking out his frustrations on innocent people? Well, Jack wasn’t lying about the airborne disease. The Argromoto Flu is real, but the disease hasn’t reached the stage of a global outbreak yet, because Jack is the only carrier for the Argomonto Flu. Serving punishment for his crimes, Jack was experimented on at a military compound. After the experimentations, Jack contracted the Argromoto Flu.

Martin and Kate unknowingly housed a sick man, and out of panic, Jack decided to barricade himself, Martin, and Kate inside the cottage. Jack was trying to contain the flu, but towards the end, Martin catches Jack’s disease, and as a result of the Argomonto Flu, Jack dies a slow and painful death. Furious, Kate refuses to listen to Jack’s last desperate plea: the military is lying about a cure for the flu via radio broadcast, and they will kill anyone, who tries to leave the island. Upset over her husband’s death, Kate decides to shoot and kill Jack.

But it’s not over yet! Kate prepares to leave the island. She loads her husband’s body into a life raft, and as she prepares to cast-off, a sniper from a helicopter shoots her in the forehead. Kate’s body falls next to Martin’s body, and the military helicopter flies away.

So Jack told a bunch of lies, giving Kate a legit reason not to trust him. But he tells one major truth at the end, Kate kills him, and moments later, Kate is executed by the military! Ugh, such a shocking and gut-wrenching ending.

Retreat is a solid thriller. I enjoyed the “can we trust him?” game of cat-and-mouse between Martin, Kate, and Jack, and the shocking twists at the end were just great. Others will probably see an irritating thriller, that features a lunatic screaming about the end of the world, while torturing an instant married couple. Either way, I don’t think you’ll have any middle ground, when you decide to grade the quality of Retreat.

Rating: 7/10

 

[Mitch Henessey]

Wrong Turn 4: Bloody Beginnings (2011)

It’s 1974, Glensville Sanatorium houses a select bunch of dangerous patients, and all hell breaks lose during an ordinary visit from a psychiatrist. The visiting psychiatrist, the head doctor, and his staff suffer brutal deaths at the hands of three escaped inbred cannibals/patients. Three-Finger (Sean Skene), One-Eye (Daniel Skene), and Saw-Tooth (Scott Johnson) carry out the murders. Glensville Sanatorium becomes a mess of blood and body parts, while Three-Finger, One-Eye, and Saw-Tooth disappear without a trace.

Twenty-nine years later, a group of friends decide to go snowmobiling during winter. Afterwards, they plan on visiting a friend’s cabin in the mountains. Sara (Tenika Davis) and her girlfriend, Bridget (Kaitlyn Wong), Kenia (Jenny Pudavick), Claire (Samantha Kendrick), her boyfriend Kyle (Victor Zinck, Jr.), Jenna (Terra Vnsea), her boyfriend Vincent (Sean Skene), Lauren (Ali Tataryn) and her boyfriend Daniel (Dean Armstrong) are headed for a vacation at their friend Porter’s cabin in the mountains.

During a rough snowstorm, the group of friends find refuge in the abandoned Glensville Sanatorium. But after some puzzling disappearances and the sight of Porter’s dismembered body, the friends realize they’re not alone. The friends don’t have a reliable form of transportation anymore, because Three-Finger, One-Eye, and Saw-Tooth sabotaged their snowmobiles, and the friends quickly run out of options, as the snowstorm becomes worse.

With the slight exception of Jenny Pudavick, the entire cast is just awful. Too many unconvincing and lazy performances, and there’s no need to mention the cannibals, because they don’t receive any spoken dialogue, just a lot of growling, grunting, heavy breathing, and moaning.

Well, if you’re looking for lots of blood, violence, nudity, and sex, Bloody Beginnings won’t disappoint you, because you’ll see all of this stuff within the first twelve minutes of the movie. But gore and naked women couldn’t save this film for me. Too many stupid characters, bad writing, and atrocious dialogue. The Vincent character is wondering around the sanatorium one night, and he suddenly shouts “Better not be playin’ with me dude! I’ll beat the shit out of you!” I just shook my head, and I seriously thought about turning the movie off before reaching the forty minute mark.

And the sneaky tactics from the cannibals raised too many question marks for me. So let me get this straight, they can’t talk or form a coherent sentence, they can’t read or write, and the cannibals don’t possess any knowledge of the modern outside world. BUT somehow Three-Finger, One-Eye, and Saw Tooth are capable of understanding the circuitry in snowmobiles, so they can sabotage them, and towards the end use the snowmobiles as vehicles for hunting the survivors. Plus, they’re capable of setting up complex traps (i.e. the barbed wire trap at the very end), and operating a tow truck? Bullshit.

NOW I remember why I stopped paying attention to the Wrong Turn films. After the original, this series really took a dive, releasing one shitty straight-to-video sequel after another. Wrong Turn 4 is a prequel for the original, and IF you care to know, Wrong Turn 4 establishes a vague backstory for the cannibals in the original. But it’s not much, because after the intro, Wrong Turn 4 doesn’t bother to continue the explanation for the origins of Three-Finger, One-Eye, and Saw Tooth.

Truth be told, the Wrong Turn franchise hit the “for fans only” stage after the original, because I can’t imagine any outsiders going out of their way to take a chance on these films. Bloody Beginnings is a cheap and lazy straight-to-video horror film. If you’re looking for an endless amount of gross-out deaths, Wrong Turn 4 will give you everything you ask for and more. But I can’t ignore the bad directing, the incompetent cast, shallow characters, and one of the most generic screenplays ever.

Rating: 1/10

 

[i'm a cm punk girl]

torque(2004)

I don't rate movies like most people due. If you would like to see cool bikes doing wild stunts, (yes, I know no human can in real life jump a steet bike off a train), a fun yet stupid plot, some hot chicks and guys (I'm into both lol), and just would like to escape from reality, watch it, it's a fun movie. I feel sorry for people who can't enjoy just having a good time and not wanting some deep meaning.

 

[TLC]

Midnight In Paris
​

I don't have time for a full review but I thought I'd share my thoughts.

The film is about a nostalgic screenwriter/ wannabe author on holiday in Paris, who at midnight finds himself going back to the 1920's. I was skeptical about watching it at first as I'm not really a fan of Woody Allen but I absolutely loved the film. The idea itself is pretty original and I had a good time watching it. The film stars Owen Wilson as 'Gil' who is married to 'Inez' played my Rachel McAdams; the films also has a wide array of talented cast members such as Marion Cotillard, Michael Sheen, Adrien Brody and Tom Hiddleston. The film has some good acting, an admirable script, commendable direction and it had a certain charm to it which had me paying attention throughout.

TLC's Rating - ****

 

[The 1-2-3 Killam]

Just a few things I saw in the last week I wanted to throw up on here with a quick review, just in case anybody is interested. Nothing major.

Django Unchained

Currently in contention for best film of 2012, along with Cabin in the Woods, Seeking a Friend for the End of the World, and Moonrise Kingdom. Quentin Tarrantino is a master of storytelling, and directs a surprisingly straight-forward quest; an aside from his usual body of slightly over-ambitious work. This review really deserves pages and pages of praise, but for now suffice it to say that everything was done to perfection, save for Quentin's self-indulgent cameo. Jamie Foxx, Christoph Waltz, Kerry Washington, Leonardo DiCaprio and Samuel Jackson give the break-out performances, which is to be expected. Beautiful movie. Screw anybody - particularly Spike Lee - who thinks its racist and in poor taste.

Rating: A+

Skyfall

I'm a little late to the party, but I finally got around to seeing Skyfall. The James Bond films have always had a way of bringing class and sophistication to the secret agent, action/chase genre of storytelling. Daniel Craig continues to be the perfect Bond, while Sam Mendes gets to add another masterful note to his already stunning collection. Major props to the writers, for knowing when to pull the trigger - sometimes quite literally - on major angles that needed to happen for the sake of story progression in the next few films. Skyfall was bold and quite daring for a movie that would have sold itself no matter what, and should be placed among the all-time greatest Bond films; if not among the elite in its genre.

Rating: A

People Like Us

This film is getting a lot of mixed reviews from critics, but I have to say I quite enjoyed it. Chris Pine is one of the better upcoming actors, and it was great to see him branching out from the action thing, showing that he can do drama just as well. Elizabeth Banks was fantastic, as always, and I've been a huge fan of hers since her rather frustrating role in Scrubs (it should have been her, dammit!). Olivia Wilde was a nice addition, when she was actually involved, but her role was fairly limited. Michelle Pfeiffer is great, although at times she doesn't look old enough to be Chris Pine's mother; she is in reality, but it's crazy what make-up artists can do. It's also nice to see a drama that doesn't center around a love affair, however the romantic overtones that are present are done quite well. The other frustrating thing about People Like Us resides in its plot, in that there's a huge secret exposed at the very end, that the audience is privy to from the start. The secret being kept is what the film hinges on, but when you really think about, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense for Pine's character to have kept it.

Rating: B

 

[Darkshot77]

Les Misérables (2012)​

This is the first movie I saw in 2013, and honestly it has gotten my year off to a great start.

The Good:

Where do I begin. First there is the great cast. For a musical movie this film had the perfect balance of Big name Holly Wood stars, and accomplished Broadway Actors and Actresses. Every person cast in the film fit their rolls perfectly, even the lesser characters. For example, Sacha Baron Cohen and Helena Bonham Carter are play their rolls of the crooked and evil Thénardier and his equally crooked and evil wife, it seems as if they were meant for this roll. It felt less like watching Jackman play Jean Valjean, and more like watching Jean Valjean.

With the great cast comes the equally great singing. All the singing was done live during the shooting, and no lip-synching was done. This made for a very real, and musical like performance. I was blown away by the talent of Hugh Jackman and even Russell Crowe, who was considered one of the weaker singers, gave an outstanding performance.

The directors, writers, and composers all stuck as close to the musical as I have ever seen, sure some bits were cut here and there, a song added, and some lyrics changed, but it all worked and the message of Les Mis came across as intended. Everything worked together phenomenally and made for one of the best movies I have ever seen. Period.

The Bad:

The Camera. This took a while to get used to. During the normal parts of the movie the camera moved around fine, it was during the major musical numbers that things got crazy. In the ensemble numbers (most apparent in "One Day More") in a musical, you can see the entire cast singing on the stage, at the same time, even though they are in different places. In the movie the camera cut to a different location and person every few seconds to the viewer could see who was singing. This got crazy at times, but it would be ok if it was consistent. During the solo numbers there were almost no cut-aways. Now I can see where they were coming from. They kept the camera on the soloist so we could see their emotion. At the start of "I Dreamed a Dream" I was expecting a cut away but the camera remained static (not that it mattered I was so enthralled by the song I barely noticed, but I will get into that later). In short, was the cinematography a little weird at times, yes, but once I got used to the camera, it did not detract from my enjoying the movie.

The Amazing:

Anne Hathaway. If you need a reason to watch this move, watch it for her. Never before have a watched an actor, or actress' performance and thought, "Oscar worthy" But after watching her perform "I Dreamed a Dream" I was blown away. The song charted on Billboard for goodness sakes. There was so much emotion and feeling in the song that it could not be ignored. Her solo was easily the best part of the movie, and that is saying something. Whether critics loved, hated, or were indifferent to the film, all praised Hathaway many already awarding her the Oscar. It was unforgettable, simply amazing.

In closing: Musical Buff or otherwise, Les Misérables is not to be missed.

My Rating 10/10 But I love musicals especially Les Mis.

Rating for everyone else 8/10

 

[Mitch Henessey]

Upside Down

In an alternate universe, Adam lives on a planet that shares dual gravity with another planet above. After losing his biological parents in a devastating explosion caused by an oil refinery from the upper world, Adam spends time at an orphanage before living with his aunt.

Adam’s bottom planet houses the poor and starved half of the population, but the rich and healthy half of the population lives on the upper planet. TransWorld, a corporation that employs citizens from both planets, is the only connection between both worlds. TransWorld controls the economy between both worlds, and selling unaffordable electricity to the bottom planet is an important factor for maintaining the separation between both planets.

Contact or intrusion between both worlds is strictly forbidden, and the Natural Law Police show no mercy towards defiance. Although, the citizens from the bottom planet CAN intrude into the upper world with the help of forbidden weights, or an illegal anti-gravity material, but this material has a short lifespan, and it burns quickly.

One day, a young Adam meets Eden at a boundary point on two mountains between both worlds. Adam builds a secret relationship with Eden, who lives in the upper world. As teenagers, Adam (Jim Sturgess) and Eden (Kirsten Dunst) continue their forbidden friendship, but an attack from a group of border patrolmen ends a routine meeting between the two. Adam tries to use a rope to return Eden to her world, but a border patrolmen shoots him in the arm, causing him to drop Eden. Eden crashes into the ground above, and she suffers a nasty head injury. Devastated, Adam returns home to see his aunt arrested by the Natural Law Police.

Ten years later, Adam is trying to finish a project that could change everything, a matter with pink bee pollen. Working through the kinks, Adam believes his new matter can withstand the gravitational pull from both worlds. But Adam needs more money and resources, so he decides to get a job at TransWorld. Although, Adam runs into an unexpected dilemma, when he spots Eden on a game show for the upper world. As a cover-up, Adam perfects his new matter into a beauty cream for TransWorld, but he can’t fight his desires to reunite with Eden. Adam is willing to risk everything to convince an amnesic Eden, while trying to outsmart his ruthless employers.

I don’t have any real complaints about the acting. Jim Sturgess and Kirsten Dunce provide two very solid performances, and Timothy Spall is decent enough as Bob (Adam‘s buddy at work). The cast is just fine, but the story….that’s a different problem.

Upside Down features grandiose set pieces, and extravagant, breathtaking scenery, but I can’t ignore Juan Diego Solanas’ shallow and predictable love story. You can see every twist and turn coming during Adam’s journey to recapture Eden’s heart. The love story slowly goes through the motions, and Eden’s sudden remembrance of her relatinoship with Adam raises too many “how is that possible?” questions. Seriously, Eden’s just laying around in her apartment, she has a random dream about her childhood with Adam, and then BAM! She instantly falls in love with him again? Initially, Solanas took his time building the reconnection between Adam and Eden, and establishing the two main characters as adults. But the ending was rushed and underdeveloped, and I just couldn’t buy into Eden’s miraculous recollection of the past.

Juan Diego Solanas’ weak screenplay is very disappointing, but I enjoyed his directing. Take a good look at the movie poster I posted above, because that’s what you’ll see for 90% of this film. Adjusting to Upside Down’s topsy-turvy landscape takes some time. In fact, you might experience feelings of nausea during the first fifteen or twenty minutes, but Solanas’ steady guidance really pulls everything together. Behind the camera, Solanas stays true to the story’s gravitational rules. When Jim sneaks into the upper world for the first time, he pees on the ceiling of a bathroom, as his anti-gravity material burns. And you’ll see a few inverted scenes, as Solanas shows both points of view from both worlds.

Upside Down is a frustrating film. A unique premise is squandered, because stunning visuals, and awe-inspiring backdrops can’t cover up the “been there, done that” storyline between Adam and Eden. Also, the obvious plot holes (mainly the big ones towards the end) constantly straggle into a giant mess, as the story progresses. It’s so irritating, because Upside Down could’ve been a great movie, but an average love story destroys any chances for supremacy.

Upside Down was released in 2012 for Russian and Canadian audiences. Upside Down should receive a US theatrical release date in March, and if I can find any showings near me, I might watch Upside Down on the big screen. The big screen won’t help the quality of this film, but I’m expecting a more extravagant experience from a theater showing. The big screen should enhance Upside Down’s visual wonderland, and it won’t happen, but Upside Down would be an ideal candidate for an IMAX release.

Rating: 3/10

 

[Mitch Henessey]

Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013)

**SPOILERS**

In 1974, a mob in Newt, Texas corners the Sawyer family at their house. Led by Mayor Burt Hartman (Paul Rae), a mob of townspeople demand blood for the crimes of Jed Sawyer (or “Leatherface“). Sheriff Hooper (Thom Berry) tries to make a deal with the Sawyer family, that would secure Jed’s peaceful surrender. But Burt orders his mob to burn down the Sawyer house, killing most of the Sawyer family. Jed’s chainsaw is found in the charred rubble, but the mob can’t find Jed’s body.

The mob takes Jed’s chainsaw as a trophy prize to hang in the local tavern, but Gavin Miller (one of the townspeople) finds two members of the Sawyer family scared and by themselves. Loretta Sawyer (Dodie Brown) cradles her infant daughter, Edith, but Gavin murders Loretta, and he takes the baby for his infertile wife, Arlene. Edith’s name is changed to Heather, and the Miller’s raise her as their child.

Years later, Heather (Alexandra Daddario) is a grown woman, and she receives a letter about her gradnmother’s passing. In her will, Verna Carson (Heather’s grandmother) gives Heather a luxurious mansion in Newt, Texas, and Heather learns the truth about her “adoption” from the Millers. Heather decides to visit the mansion with her boyfriend, Ryan (Trey Songz), her best friend Nikki (Tania Raymonds), her boyfriend, Kenny (Keram Malicki-Sanchez), and in an exchange for a dropped lawsuit, the friends pick up a hitchhiker named Darryl (Shaun Sipos).

Upon arrival in Newt, Texas, Heather receives Verna’s final letter and the keys to the mansion from the Sawyer family’s lawyer, Farnsworth (Richard Riehle). Heather tries to grasp the sight the Sawyer family cemetery in the front yard, but she’ll have to deal with a bigger problem. Behind a secret door, Jed Sawyer (Dan Yeager) is living in the dank cellars beneath the mansion. Sheriff Hooper tries to derail the sinister plans of a bitter Mayor Hartman, as Jed embarks on another killing spree.

First of all, Texas Chainsaw 3D IS a remake. It’s not the only and first direct sequel to Tob Hooper’s 1974 classic. Tob Hooper directed The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, and here’s a DVD cover to prove it.

Spoiler

Sorry, but I just had to mention this. Texas Chainsaw 3D tries to ignore its predecessor with the “direct sequel” stuff, but you can’t just omit the existence of a film like it never happened. I have the same feelings about The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo 2011. They marketed the 2011 film as a direct adaptation of the novel, ignoring the 2009 Swedish film.

Anyway, Alexandra Daddario delivers the best performance in this film, easily. Raymonds is just eye candy, and director John Luessenhop is obsessed with constant close-up shots of her ass. Trey Songz is just there, and Malicki-Sanchez doesn’t last long. Rae is a believable loud-mouthed and rambunctious redneck, and Thom Berry is decent enough as Sheriff Hooper.

Now on to Leatherface. Jed has his moments as an intimidating chainsaw wielding maniac. His cross-dressing habit is bizarre (for obvious reasons), but Jed is still a ruthless and cold-hearted killer looking for revenge. Thomas Hewitt (Leatherface in the 2003 remake and The Beginning) is still my pick for the most intimidating Leatherface. Andrew Bryniarski (Hewitt) embodied the presence of an unstoppable killing machine, but Dan Yeager provides some hope for future installments in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise. Plus, Yeager probably did some research (i.e. watching other Massacre films) for his character, because he really nailed Leatherface’s clunky style of running.

The 3D effects were impressive, Texas Chainsaw 3D is loaded with bloody and gruesome gore, and I enjoyed John Luessenhop’s usage of footage from the 1974 original. Luessenhop shows actual footage from the 1974 original during the intro, and then he makes the transition to the present setting of Texas Chainsaw 3D. Clever trick, and I appreciated the extra effort.

With all that said, don’t get your hopes up for anything special in this film. With the exception of Heather’s decision at the end (more on that later), Texas Chainsaw 3D is a just a mindless slasher film, nothing less, nothing more. They pulled out every horror cliché imaginable for this film. As she runs from Leatherface’s attack, Heather trips and falls down twice. As the friends try to escape Leatherface, Ryan runs into some trouble, when the hippie van won’t start.

And they just had to throw in this stupid “search the house” scene towards the end. One of Sheriff Hooper’s deputies is searching the Sawyer mansion. He’s armed with one gun, a flashlight, and he uses his cell phone as live look-in camera for Sheriff Hooper and Mayor Hartman. The deputy is walking though the mansion ALONE, and he follows a long trail of blood to Leatherface’s cellar. He discovers Leatherface’s den of body parts and blood, BUT he never takes the numerous chances to safely leave the mansion, and of course Leatherface murders him in cold-blood, and he decides to use his face as a new mask. Ugh.

The slasher blueprint for Texas Chainsaw 3D is very predictable, but Heather’s SHOCKING decision at the end is a different story. So after narrowly escaping Leatherface’s attack at the town carnival, Heather is sitting in the Newt police station for protection, and Sheriff Hooper leaves a box of evidence from the Sawyer family murders on the table. Heather learns the truth about the Sawyer massacre, and the townspeople’s assault on her family. Oh, and Leatherface is her cousin.

Heather sneaks out of the police station, but she’s picked up by Deputy Carl. Throughout the film, Heather forms a friendly relationship with Carl…..until Carl reveals himself as Burt’s son. Carl isn’t trying to help Heather. He’s kidnapping her, and Carl is taking Heather to the local slaughterhouse. In an attempt to destroy the Sawyer bloodline once and for all, Burt plans on torturing and murdering Heather, and when he shows up, Burt will finish off Leatherface. Heather is tied-up and helpless, but Jed uses his chainsaw to free Heather. And as Sheriff Hooper gives the green light, Jed murders Burt.

Heather finally reads her grandmother’s last letter, and she learns about the strings attached to her new mansion: Heather must take care of Leatherface, and keep him hidden from the outside world.

Of course, a handful of horror aficionados are creaming themselves over Leatherface’s anti-hero status in this film. I’ll give Texas Chainsaw 3D some credit for this bold move. It was an unexpected twist, and I laughed myself into tears, when Heather shouted “do your thing cuz!” as she gave him the chainsaw in the slaughterhouse. But where are they’re going to go now? The Heather character fully embraced her Sawyer heritage towards the end, and she agreed to take care of her cousin Jed, but can Heather really trust Jed? What’s going to stop him from losing his cool, and slicing Heather in half with his chainsaw? Plus, Heather keeping Leatherface a secret is easier said than done. The people of Newt are aware of his presence, and there’s only ONE place, where he could hide from the world. Is Heather capable of fighting off an entire town to protect her cousin? I doubt it.

Storyline wise, the anti-hero twist could be a disastrous hurdle for the future, but after thinking it over, I’ve settled into the “let’s see where it goes” mind set.

Texas Chainsaw 3D is trash, but it’s fun trash. You’ll see plenty of “don’t go in there!” or “don’t do that!” moments in this film, and the cheesy one-liners (“WELCOME TO TEXAS MOTHERFUCKER!”) might bring a few cheap laughs out of you. Horror fans, who love gruesome gore and sickening deaths should enjoy this, and Texas Chainsaw 3D is my first guilty pleasure of 2013. Also, Gunner Hansen (the original Leatherface) has a cameo in this film, but I didn’t notice him.

Rating: 5/10

 

[Mitch Henessey]

The Faculty (1998)

As aliens take over their high school, a group of teens form an unlikely alliance. Casey (Elijah Wood), Stokely (Clea DuVall), Stan (Shawn Hatosy), Marybeth (Laura Harris), Delilah (Jordana Brewster), and Zeke (Josh Hartnett) team up to stop the alien invasion and save the world. Zeke’s Scat, a diuretic/hallucinogenic drug is the only surefire weapon capable of killing the amphibious aliens. But the teens run into some trouble, as they struggle to find the leader (or queen) of the alien invasion, and they’re forced to fight off the crafty alien football coach, Joe Willis (Robert Patrick) and the rest of the possessed staff at school.

The cast is full of high school sterotypes. Casey is the shy and soft-spoken nerd, Stokely is the gothic outcast, and Zeke is the bad boy. And you can’t forget about Delilah, the narcissistic bitch, Stan, the popular high school quarterback, and Marybeth, the cheery and friendly “new kid.” Although, to be fair, the Stan character wanted to erase his reputation as the glorified high school quarterback during the early stages of this film. But after the final battle with the aliens, the main characters realize their mistakes in life, and they change their personalities for the better, starting a new path.

Everyone provides the perfect parody performance for their characters. I’d give the edge to Hartnett and Wood for the stand-out stars in this cast, and Robert Patrick is hilarious as the hard-ass football coach. Plus, Famke Janssen (Miss Elizabeth) is spot on, as Zeke’s insecure and nervous punching bag, and they don’t last long, but Jon Stewart and Salma Hayek have a few funny moments. My only complaint from this cast is a young Usher Raymond. He’s just terrible, and his atrocious pretty boy act is painful to watch.

Desperado was my first Robert Rodriguez film, and From Dusk Till Dawn will always be my favorite Rodriguez film, but The Faculty still holds a special place in my heart as a childhood favorite. The special effects are kind of tacky, but Rodriguez provides a handful of genuine gross-out moments. The gore isn’t too tamed, and it’s not too gruesome, it’s just right. The gross-out moments are guaranteed to pull a reaction out of you, and of course, Rodriguez takes a more extreme approach to blood and gore (i.e. Sin City, Planet Terror) in his films now a days.

The Faculty has a nice balance of humor and disgusting violence (or nauseating alien transformations), and each scene provides a good example of both:

[YOUTUBE]1jiv5JxmUww[/YOUTUBE]

[YOUTUBE]eP7cLId4ocM[/YOUTUBE]​

The Faculty is a fun sci-fi/horror film, and I can’t believe it took me this long to buy it on DVD. Yes, the clichéd “group of unlikely allies banding together to destroy a great evil power” storyline isn’t something new, and the popular kids vs the outcasts is a recycled feud in many different forms of media. But The Faculty never strives for perfection, or the status of a groundbreaking entry in the sci-fi/horror genre. It’s a romp of stylish violence and cheesy comedy, and the cast (minus Usher) is just excellent.

Plus, I always enjoy the references to older sci-fi films ( The Thing, Invasion Of The Body Snatchers, etc.), and The Faculty does a fantastic job of paying homage to the old school classics. Kevin Williamson’s (the writer for this film) screenplay has its moments as a “remember that?” wink to sci-fi/horror fans, and for me, The Faculty has an endless amount of rewatch value.

Rating: 8/10

 

[Mitch Henessey]

Case 39 (2010)

Social worker Emily Jenkins (Renee Zellweger) receives an assignment that will change her life forever. Emily is assigned to the case of ten year-old Liliahna Sullivan (Jodelle Micah Ferland). Liliahna’s (or “Lillith&#8221 bad grades and awkward behavior raise some suspicious questions, and after the first visit with Liliahna’s parents, Emily suspects child abuse. Liliahna’s mother refuses to cooperate, and Liliahna’s father won’t speak to Emily directly. Instead, his wife relays his whispered messages to Emily. Determined to help Liliahna, Emily keeps a close eye on her case, and after receiving a frightened phone call from Liliahna one night, Emily rushes to Liliahna’s house. With the help of her friend and detective Mike Barron (Ian McShane), Emily breaks into the Sullivan’s house after hearing Liliahna’s screams. Mike and Emily rescue Liliahna from a torturous death, because Liliahna’s parents planned to cook her alive by trapping their only child in an oven.

Liliahna’s parents are sent to separate mental hospitals, and Emily risks her reputation and job security by adopting Liliahna. But Emily questions Liliahna’s motives after two bizarre and mysterious deaths. Douglas J. Ames (Bradley Cooper) is a psychiatrist and he’s Emily‘s close friend, and after Liliahna’s routine evaluation, Douglas is visibly shaken by Liliahna’s peculiar questions. Liliahna’s devious behavior frightens Emily, so she decides to visit her father at the mental hospital for more answers. Here, Liliahna’s father reveals Liliahna’s shocking secret: Liliahna is a demon, who preys on vulnerable people, and if she doesn’t get her way, she will kill her victims.

I never understood the hype behind Renee Zellweger, but she delivers a good performance in this film. Zellweger really shines towards the end, as the Emily character realizes she made a mistake adopting Liliahna, and Zelleweger’s nervous breakdown act is just fantastic. Cooper is believable in the “caring friend” role, and McShane was the perfect choice for the hard-ass detective persona. And I can’t forget about Jodelle Micah Ferland. Ferland’s innocence as the helpless child is spot on, and she really nailed the devious and delightfully evil side of Liliahna’s personality.

I know I’m in the minority, but I LOVED Case 39. At first, it’s a heartwrenching story of a young girl, who suffers abuse from her parents. But Case 39 slowly develops into a spooky demonic thriller, as Emily struggles to come up with a plan to get rid of Liliahna. Plus, Case 39 provides a few squirming gross-out scenes and deaths. Bradley Cooper’s hornet infestation scene in the bathroom was unreal, and it’s an easy pick for my favorite sickening moment in this film.

With all that said, I can see why a lot of critics and movie fans trashed this film. The story is kind of generic, BUT at the same time, I think the generic criticisms are somewhat overexaggerated. Case 39 features some good twists and turns, and you’re a lying sack of shit, if you “predicted” the ending (I’ve seen this in other places). There’s NO WAY anyone could’ve predicted Emily’s decision at the end step by step. It’s just impossible. If you’re just burnt out on the “creepy demonic child reeking havoc” stuff, then I can understand that. But when you pull the “I could see everything coming” card, you just sound like one of those pretentious “it’s insulting to my intelligence” douchebags.

Case 39 delivers a few good jump scares, and I was hooked into the suspenseful turmoil of Liliahna’s diabolical attacks. I admired Christian Alvart’s stylish and precise directing, and his crafty guidance enhances Case 39's tense and eerie atmosphere. Renee Zellweger and Jodelle Micah Ferland provide strong performances, and the supporting cast is solid. Case 39 isn’t perfect, but on the flipside, it’s not an abomination of epic proportions.

Rating: 7/10

 

[Mitch Henessey]

Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)

On Christmas Eve in 1971, a young Billy Chapman visits his demented grandfather in a mental hospital. After the doctor insists on having a word in private with Billy’s parents, his mother, father, and infant brother Ricky leave him alone. Suddenly, Grandpa Chapman (Will Hare) delivers an ominous warning about Santa Claus’ methods of punishment for naughty children.

Frightened, Billy leaves with his family, but the Chapman’s receive an unexpected surprise during the nighttime ride home. A man dressed in a Santa Claus’ suit is standing in front of a red car with the hood up, as he signals the Chapman’s for help. But “Santa” is carrying a gun, and as Billy’s father tries to drive away, Santa shoots him in the head, killing him. Billy’s mother tries to escape, but Santa catches her. After an attempted rape, Santa slits Mrs. Chapman’s throat, killing her. Billy hides in the nearby woods, as his baby brother continues to scream and cry.

In 1974, Billy and Ricky are still trying to adjust to life at St. Mary’s Orphanage. But Billy is haunted by flashbacks of his parent’s death, and he slowly develops a deep, seething hatred for Christmas and Santa Claus. Sister Margaret (Gilmer McCormik) tries to provide comfort for Billy, but the strict and domineering Mother Superior (Lilyan Chauvin) won’t tolerate any disobedience or unruly behavior. Billy is constantly beaten and tormented by Mother Superior, and after attacking the orphanage's Santa Claus on Christmas Day, Billy receives another savage beating from Mother Superior.

As an eighteen year-old man in 1984, Billy (Robert Brian Wilson) receives a stocking job at Ira’s Toys (a local toy store) with help of Mother Superior and Sister Margaret. Ricky is still under the care of the other nuns and Mother Superior at the orphanage, and with the exception of his pushy superior Andy, Billy doesn’t encounter any major problems.

But when the store Santa Claus is forced to call in sick, Billy steps into the role of Jolly Old St. Nick. Billy experiences more flashbacks of his parent’s murders, and things get out of control during the store’s annual Christmas party. Drunk, angry, and confused, Billy accidentally witnesses his only crush and co-worker, Pamela with Andy in the stockroom. With Billy’s help, Pamela narrowly escapes Andy’s attack, but witnessing another attempted rape triggers Billy’s flashbacks. Billy kills Andy and Pamela, murders the store manager, and as she tries to call 911, Billy murders the assistant store manager.

Armed with an axe, and a bloody taste for revenge, Billy (or Santa) sets out on a killing spree to punish the naughty people on Christmas Eve, and his mission isn‘t over until he achieves one final goal on Christmas Day: Billy is determined to return to the orphanage, and murder Mother Superior.

The two kids, who portray Billy as a kid are solid, but I'd give the edge to Danny Wagner (8 year-old Billy) for the better performance. Robert Brian Wilson’s hammy performance as the murderous Santa is entertaining. Wilson is over the top during his killing spree, and his evil grin is just perfect. You’ll only see him in the beginning, but Will Hare’s kooky “Santa’s gonna get you!“ act is good for a few cheap laughs. Lilyan Chauvin really nails the ice-cold bitch persona, and McCormik is believable as the caring and understanding nun. And for the most part, the women in this film are just eye candy.

And speaking of eye candy, the lovely scream queen of the 80’s, Linnea Quigley takes the cake here. For me, Quigley is an easy pick for the front and center spot for Silent Night, Deadly Night’s most grisly image. She’s the half naked woman, who suffers the brutal death of being shoved through the antlers of a deer head mount. And speaking of Quigley, the Denise (Quigley) character’s nonsensical actions in this film really irritate me. First, for some asinine reason, Denise feels the need to let the family cat inside the house in the middle of the night. She has the wherewithal to put on jean shorts, but at the same time, she goes outside into the freezing cold night topless? Then, after the cat runs inside the house, she leaves the door open, Billy shows up, and murders her? Sorry, but for YEARS this has been my one big pet peeve for Silent Night, Deadly Night, and everything surrounding Denise’s death just annoys the shit out of me.

Too much controversy surrounded this film in 1984, and after all the protests, and condemning reviews from critics, Silent Night, Deadly Night was pulled from theaters. It outdrew the original Nightmare On Elm Street film at the box office during the opening weekend, but Santa killing people on Christmas crossed too many lines in 1984, and Silent Night, Deadly Night wouldn’t see theaters again until a few years later, after the uproar settled down of course. The new distributor (Aquarius Films) wanted to capitalize on the controversy, but they re-released a watered-down and heavily edited version of the film to fans of the original.

The uncut DVD version (not sure if they have a Blu-Ray or not) features more blood and gore. But the re-editing causes poor picture quality for some scenes. It’s not a big problem, but it’s noticeable. Anyway, the unrated versions (one released as a singles DVD years ago, one released with the second film as a two-pack, and to help push the remake, the two-pack with the unrated original and the second film was re-released in December under Anchor Bay, I think). Anyway, you can see the differences between the edited versions and the unrated version, but PLEASE don’t buy into the promise of “gratuitous nudity and sex” on the box covers. Trust me, it’s nothing outrageous or shocking. Hell, if anything, the sex and nudity in the unrated version is pretty tamed.

Silent Night, Deadly Night is a cheesy and over the top 80’s slasher. It’s mindless fun, and it’s one of my favorite Christmas horror films. Although, WITHOUT the Christmas theme, Silent Night, Deadly Night would just be another ordinary 80’s slasher. And more importantly, Silent Night, Deadly Night is remembered for sparking controversy, because the special effects are sub-par, the directing is okay at best, and this film is good for some cheap laughs, but at the same time, the writing is very pedestrian and corny. Silent Night, Deadly Night is a good guilty pleasure, but a good amount of Silent Night fans praise this film as a horror masterpiece, and it’s kind of annoying.

Rating: 6/10

 

[Mitch Henessey]

Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 (1987)

**SPOILERS**


Following the events of Silent Night, Deadly Night, Billy Chapman is dead after taking a series of gunshots to the back at St. Mary‘s Orphanage. But the sight of his dead brother’s body was too much handle, so as a child, Ricky issued a deadly warning to Mother Superior by placing her on his “naughty” list.

Billy failed in his mission to kill Mother Superior, but Billy’s attack forced the closure of St. Mary’s Orphanage. Bound to a wheelchair, Mother Superior (Jean Miller) is retired and recovering from a stroke, and with the help of Sister Mary (Nadya Wynd), Ricky found a foster family. The Rosenbergs embraced Ricky as their own child, but Ricky still experienced flashbacks from his traumatic childhood.

Heartbroken over his stepfather’s death as a teenager, Ricky tries to fight through the depression, but after witnessing an attempted rape, Ricky embarks on a brutal killing spree. But Ricky runs out of luck after murdering his girlfriend Jennifer (Elizabeth Kaitan), her ex-boyfriend Chip (Ken Weichert), and other innocent bystanders. During the standoff with the police, Ricky tries to commit suicide, but he runs out of bullets.

As an eighteen year-old man, Ricky’s (Eric Freeman) last name is changed to Caldwell, and he’s a patient at a mental hospital. One day, Ricky receives a tape recorded evaluation from Dr. Henry Bloom (James L. Newman). Ricky already angered other psychiatrists, so after failing numerous evaluations, Dr. Bloom becomes Ricky’s last chance to avoid a trip to the electric chair. But as Ricky recalls his troubled childhood and murders as a teenager, Dr. Bloom slowly shows signs of fear after each story. Ricky takes advantage of Dr. Bloom’s fear, murders him, and Ricky escapes the hospital.

Ricky finds a Salvation Army-like Santa Claus, murders him, steals his suit, and Ricky plans to follow in his brother’s footsteps. Picking up where Billy left off, Ricky plans to take his axe to the retired Mother Superior’s home, and finish his brother’s mission.

Eric Freeman’s Ricky is more devious than Robert Brian Wilson’s Billy. Billy was someone, who snapped, AND he showed remorse during his final moments. Billy’s innocence was believable, because his character was victimized and tormented, but Ricky’s a different story. Mother Superior was nice to Ricky. Ricky had a girlfriend, who cared about him, and The Rosenburgs loved him as a child and a teenager. But Ricky chose his path as a sadistic asshole. He enjoyed killing people, and he embraced the murdering psycho inside of him. With all that said, I enjoyed Eric Freeman’s Ricky more than Wilson’s Billy. Yes, Freeman is hammy, but his dark side is more creepy, in a comical way of course.

Also, they added another layer to the Chapman Brother’s traumatic triggers here. In Part I, Billy’s flashbacks from St. Mary’s Orphanage and his parent’s murders trigger his killing sprees. In Part II, Ricky’s rage is triggered by flashbacks from the same events, but the color red and nuns also play an important factor in causing his tirades.

Unfortunately, my praises for this film stop with Freeman. Kaitan is just eye candy, and Newman is solid enough, but the constant flashbacks (more on that later) kill any chances of momentum for his character. Sister Mary is a caring character, but she can’t measure up to Gilmer McComrik’s Sister Margaret.

And they changed the actress, who portrayed Mother Superior! Miller’s crabby and feeble old lady act is painful to watch. Yes, I understand Mother Superior had a stroke, but Lilyan Chauvin was irreplaceable, because she MADE the Mother Superior character. They tried to use the stroke, and awful, distracting deformed skin make-up to justify Mother Superior’s new personality, but fuck, if they couldn’t get Chauvin to reprise her role, then they should’ve just killed off the Mother Superior character altogether. Superior is the main target for Billy and Ricky. She’s the reason why they went on the killing sprees in the first place. You can’t use an underwhelming replacement for such an important character, and try to pass her off as the same person in the original. Superior ‘87 is a major problem, and I usually cringe or face palm before her first appearance, because Superior’s presence just KILLS the final climax in this film.

Flashbacks are okay, if you just use a few CLIPS here and there, but Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 literally replays entire scenes from the original. As Ricky retells his story to Dr. Bloom, the story shifts back to Part I, showing select scenes in their entirety (Santa murdering Billy & Ricky’s parents, Billy’s tirades, Billy’s abuse at the orphanage, the ending, etc.). This style of storytelling is just lazy, and it kills all of the momentum for the present story. Yeah, they play flashback footage from the present storyline, but you won’t see it until the forty minute mark. And everything feels so rushed and underdeveloped, when they finally make the transition to Ricky’s escape at the very end. It feels like you’re watching two movies in one, and the constant back and forth shifts to present and past straggle into a giant clustered mess.

I try to stay in suspension of disbelief mode for movies, but Silent Night Part 2 pushes everything too far. SOMEHOW Ricky has vivid memories of his parent’s deaths? Really? How? He was a baby when it all happened. Plus, Ricky was strapped to seat in the car as a baby, and the Santa murdered his mother outside, so he couldn’t see anything. Ricky explains how Billy told him the story of his parent’s murders, but still, I have a hard time buying into an eighteen year-old vividly remembering a tragedy as an infant. They tried to recreate the “flashbacks trigger a tirade” effect with Ricky, but Ricky recalling the tragedies from his childhood was just too far fetched for my taste.

Also, before he reaches the age of eighteen, Ricky is strolling through the woods one day, and he accidentally witnesses a couple having a picnic. The boyfriend tries to rape his girlfriend, but Ricky jumps inside his red jeep, and he runs him over, killing the boyfriend. Umm, why was this necessary? Did they really have to stretch things so far to include a random attempted rape scene to maintain continuity from the first film?

So Ricky EASILY kills Dr. Bloom, and escapes the mental hospital? Umm, if killing psychiatrists and strolling out of the mental hospital is SO easy, then why didn’t Ricky kill one of the psychiatrists before Bloom? I’m suppose to believe Ricky just decided to kill the last psychiatrist out of the blue? No. Just no.

Ruining the big climax/final showdown with a replacement Mother Superior was bad enough, and Superior’s decapitation just made everything worse. Ricky chops off her head with an axe, but when the cops and Sister Mary arrive at her house, Superior’s body is still in the wheelchair……until Sister Mary’s slight touch causes her head to fall off. AND when the head falls off, you can clearly see signs of a prosthetic dummy head. Ugh, I always roll my eyes at this moment. Unbelievable, just unfuckingbelievable.

Silent Night, Deadly Night 2 is mostly remembered for Ricky’s famous “GARBAGE DAY!” outburst during the wild killing spree towards the end. It’s become a popular and well-known meme over the years, and here’s a pic:

Spoiler

But Part 2 is still a terrible film. Freeman’s nutty raging lunatic act is hilarious, but in good conscience, I can’t give this film a positive score. I just can’t.

Rating: 2/10

 

[dukes07]

Thanks Sheriff! I forgot about the Faculty, I saw it in the theaters years ago. I need to check it out. I am on a horror kick as I explained in another thread, living in my in-laws basement due to flooding....great atmosphere for it. I am watching newer ones as I have seen most of the older ones:

I have seen:

Sinister, PA4, the Bay, Descent and Insidious....Sinister really stood out. Watching American Horror Story now.

Keep up the reviews and if you have any good ideas for horror please post.

 

[Mitch Henessey]

Thanks Sheriff! I forgot about the Faculty, I saw it in the theaters years ago. I need to check it out. I am on a horror kick as I explained in another thread, living in my in-laws basement due to flooding....great atmosphere for it. I am watching newer ones as I have seen most of the older ones:

I have seen:

Sinister, PA4, the Bay, Descent and Insidious....Sinister really stood out. Watching American Horror Story now.

Keep up the reviews and if you have any good ideas for horror please post.

As far as horror goes, besides Texas Chainsaw 3D, I haven't seen any other 2013 horror films. 28 Weeks Later is phenomenal, Piranha 3D is mindless fun, Silent House 2012 (still haven't seen the Spanish original), The Cabin In The Woods is a must-see, and the first few Saw films are pretty good, but the series dives into a mess of shit after the third film.

I'm watching Livide or Livid now (a French horror flick), and if you're into vampire flicks, you should give it a try. I also plan on watching The Bay pretty soon. It looks good, but I usually hate found-footage films.

Also which American Horror Story? Season 1 or Asylum season 2? I enjoyed the first season more than the first. For me, season 2 was on a roll until they decided to kill off two characters:

Spoiler

Dr. Arden and Sister Mary Eunice

After that, the show just became a massive clusterfuck of plot twists and SHOCKING SURPRISES. Thankfully, Jessica Lange and Sarah Paulson made it all the way to the end, and Kit Walker is one of the most uninteresting characters ever.

 

[Mitch Henessey]

Livid/Livide (2011)

**SPOILERS**

Lucie (Chloe Coulloud) is starting her first day of training for a house nurse job. Mrs. Wilson (Catherine Jacob) trains Lucie, and after giving a simple shot, Lucie starts to gain some confidence. But things change, when Mrs. Wilson makes the final stop on Lucie’s first day tour. In a rustic mansion, Deborah Jessel (Marie-Claude Pietragalla) is still in a coma. Forced to rely on a respirator machine, Deborah is an elderly woman, who’s alone, and she’s a former ballet teacher. According to Mrs. Wilson, Deborah’s daughter, Anna (Chloe Marcq) died at a young age, and Mrs. Wilson’s folktale of Deborah’s rumored buried treasure catches Lucie’s attention.

Lucie tells her boyfriend, Will (Felix Moati) about Deborah Jessel’s buried treasure, and Will comes up with a plan to steal it. Lucie refuses to participate in Will’s planned heist at first, but Lucie’s father continues to show no remorse for her mother’s death, and her father’s infatuation with a new girlfriend sickens Lucie. Stealing the treasure could provide a better life for Lucie and Will, and the treasure would give Lucie the ticket of freedom from her father, so she agrees to lead Will’s heist.

On Halloween night, Lucie, Will, and their friend, Ben (Jeremy Kapone) team up to steal the treasure from Deborah’s mansion. But when they finally break-in, a series of strange events complicates the planned heist. Deborah disappears, and the friends learn a shocking secret after they find Anna’s preserved corpse: the Jessel’s are vampires, and instead of finding treasure, Lucie, Will, and Ben unknowingly stumbled into a deadly trap.

Kapone and Moati deliver a pair of decent performances, but the women steal the show here. Coulloud is a solid leading lady, and Jacob adds a spark to her deceitful character. Pietragalla is a very convincing cold-hearted and ruthless bitch in Deborah’s flashbacks as a ballet instructor and mother. Plus, she’s more menacing and evil during the present storyline, and the creepy make-up really pulls the withered vampire look together. And she doesn’t speak one word in this film, but Chloe Marcq did a wonderful job of using body language and robotic-like movements (her dance scene on the life-sized ballerina music box is unreal) to express her emotions.

So Lucie, Will, and Ben are trying to find treasure. Well, they found a treasure, but it’s not the type of treasure they hoped for, because Jessel’s mummified daughter is her greatest treasure. That’s right, a giant key around Deborah’s neck activates Anna’s life-sized music box, and of course, Anna awakes from her deep sleep after one turn of the key. Yeah, it might sound like a corny twist to most people, but I really enjoyed it. After discovering Anna’s music box, the devastated “what the fuck are we going to do now???” reaction from Will was just priceless.

They were so sure about the key. It was going to unlock the treasure, and once they found the treasure, Lucie, Will, and Ben wouldn’t have to worry about money for the rest of their lives. But they didn’t find money, gold bars, or jewels. It’s a genuinely surprising twist, and you can feel the panic and devastation from Lucie, Will, and Ben.

I enjoyed Livid, but this film has a few annoying question marks. During a flashback, Anna attacks and kills one her of mother’s ballet students by drinking her blood. She runs outside during the daytime heat, and of course, vampires and sunlight don’t mix. Anna is burned by the sun, but Deborah doesn’t suffer any damage, when she goes out to drag her daughter inside the mansion?

During the heist at Deborah’s mansion, Ben is teleported into a secluded room. Here, Ben suffers a brutal and fatal beating from three zombie-like bridesmaids or ballerinas (I‘m not sure), who suddenly appear out of nowhere? Where did the women come from? Who are they working for? Are they zombies or vampires? I know this sounds like a nitpicky complaint, but Ben’s beating is one of the many “huh?” moments in this film.

At the very end, Lucie kills Deborah with Anna’s help. Anna and Lucie walk out into the morning, and the sunlight doesn’t burn Anna? Okay, earlier in the film, Anna suffers some nasty burns from the sunlight, but at the end, she walks out into the sunlight, and NOTHING happens? But it’s not over yet. Lucie and Anna walk to the edge of a cliff, while holding hands. Anna lets go of Lucie’s hand in an attempt to commit suicide, but instead, Anna literally flies towards the sun? And the sun HEALS her burn wounds! I already reached the point of questioning Livid’s logic at the halfway mark, but this was just ridiculous.

Also, during the ending, they show an outside shot of the mansion during the night. And Deborah's mansion apparently jumps into some alternate universe at night? Seriously? What’s the point here? I’m guessing the alternate reality stuff is suppose tie up the loose ends for Lucie, Will, and Ben not being able to escape the house at night. BUT, if that’s the explanation, then breaking in should’ve been impossible, right?

But with all that said, Livid was an enjoyable horror film for me. Some people will just see a pretentious art house bore, but Livid provides a nice mix of fantasy and horror. The nighttime scenes at the mansion are loaded with some excellent tension, and Livid features a good amount of bloody and disgusting gore.

Yeah, the ending is romanticized, over the top, and kind of silly. Plus, Lucie, Will, and Ben’s reasoning behind stealing the treasure is cliched. Lucie is broke, and still living at home with her father. Will hates his life as a poor fisherman, and his overbearing father/boss won‘t tolerate any slacking. Ben is a waiter for Will’s mom (she owns a bar/restaurant), and the “we want a better life” from rags to riches story has been done to death. But Livid still packs a powerful punch. It starts out slow, and you’ll have to follow the subtitles (Livid is a French language film), but once Livid kicked into high gear, I couldn’t pull myself away from the screen.

And I can’t forget about Livid’s Halloween nod! Before they make the trip to Deborah’s house, Will spots a group of trick-or-treaters wearing Halloween masks, and Will said “happy, happy, Halloween, Silver Shamrock!” This one line pays homage to Halloween III: Season Of The Witch. Silver Shamrock is the name of Conal Cochran’s (the main villain) evil mask company in Halloween 3, and Will’s line of dialogue is used in the Silver Shamrock Halloween commercials. It’s a great geek-out moment for any Halloween fan, and I loved it.

Rating: 7/10

 

[i'm a cm punk girl]

Looper- good movie, I liked how the story made me go back and forth between the two main characters, which Joe is the bad guy? who's right and who's wrong? things like that. It is a good thing the movie came out before the CT shootings, considering what one of the films plot details include.

Taken 2- okay but nowhere as good as the first

Total Recall- decent, i haven't seen the original in years so i'm not gonna compare the two but I liked this remake

Killer Joe- didn't like it, other than some nice nudity from Juno temple this movie sucked

The House at the End of the Street- the title of this movie should have been Look at Jennifer Lawrence's awesome tits because thats the only thing that was the least bit interesting in this movie.

 

[D-Man]

End of Watch

I'm not one to write mile-long reviews so I'll try to keep it short and sweet.

This movie is basically about two beat cops in Los Angeles doing their daily duties and making routine busts while trying to exceed their call of duty and become the best cops on the beat.

Jake Gyllenhaal's character is a cop who constantly carries around a handheld, digital video camera and likes to document his daily duties. Michael Pena is Gyllenhaal's partner. His relationship with Jake is that of best friends and partners until the end. Pena'a character is a father-to-be who married his high school sweetheart.

Both he and Gyllenhaal spend the majority of the movie on various busts. The majority of the film is from the vantage point of Gyllenhaal's handheld camera and, as we all learned from movies such as Paranormal Activity and The Blair Witch Project, this can make for some suspenseful moments during a movie. The vantage points and suspenseful storyline really makes this the type of movie that keeps you on the edge of your seat.

The thing I didn't like about the movie was its ending. It was completely unexpected but left me very cold and sad. Not many movies have done this to me in the past and I'm not sure how I feel about it. But it's definitely a movie I will not soon forget.

I would recommend seeing this movie. But prepare yourselves.

 

[Mitch Henessey]

Silent Night, Deadly Night 3: Better Watch Out! (1989)

**SPOILERS**

Six years after the events of Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2, Ricky Caldwell (Bill Moseley) is still in a coma. Ricky was presumed dead after the gunshot wounds, but Dr. Newbury (Richard Beymer) surgically reconstructed Ricky’s deformed brain. Dr. Newbury and his assistant revived basic functions with a machine attached to Ricky’s head, but Newbury wanted more.

Dr. Newbury developed an obsession for Ricky, so in an attempt to bring him back to the real world, Dr. Newbury began conducting a series of experiments with a psychic. With the help of some persistent goading from Dr. Newbury, Laura Anderson (Samantha Scully), a blind clairvoyant, reluctantly uses her powers to form a connection with the comatose Ricky. Laura is frightened by Ricky’s childhood memories, and after a series of lifelike nightmares, where Ricky hunts Laura as his primary victim, Laura contemplates leaving Dr. Newbury’s mission to study Ricky.

On Christmas Eve, Laura, her brother Chris (Eric Da Re), and his new girlfriend, Jerri (Laura Harring) take the annual trip to their grandmother’s house for Christmas Day. Meanwhile, Ricky is taunted by the hospital’s sleazy Santa Claus. Santa triggers a reaction from Ricky, and once Ricky awakes from his coma, he brutally murders the Santa Claus. In the lobby, Ricky notices the receptionist’s red flower pin, steals her letter opener, and Ricky uses the letter opener to murder the receptionist. Eventually, Ricky hitchhikes a ride, but the driver shows Ricky his hand knitted red Christmas sweater. After murdering the driver and stealing his clothes, Ricky decides to pay a visit to Laura’s grandmother.

Laura is still haunted by Ricky’s childhood memories, and during Dr. Newbury’s experiments, Laura unknowingly developed a telekinetic connection with Ricky. Dr. Newbury teams up with Lt. Connely (Robert Culp) to stop Ricky, but Newbury will do everything in his power to take Ricky alive. Laura, Chris, and Jerri arrive at Granny Anderson’s (Elizabeth Hoffman) house, but Granny’s unusual disappearance creates an unsettling Christmas Eve atmosphere. Ricky is waiting for the right moment, and things take a turn for the worst, when Chris’ red jeep disappears……..

Technically, Ricky is the main character in this film, but the story revolves around Laura, and I give the nod to Scully for the best performance in this film. Scully showcases her eardrum, shattering shrieking skills throughout this film, and she’s believable as the sympathetic victim. Moseley is mostly known for his role in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, and more recently, Texas Chainsaw 3D. Also, Moseley worked with Rob Zombie in the past (House Of 1,000 Corpses & The Devil’s Rejects). The replacement Mother Superior in Part 2 annoys me, but Ricky is brain-dead in this film, so you can’t expect any familiar characteristics from Billy’s brother here. Moseley’s dialogue is mostly limited to slow whispers of “Laura,” and it might work for some people, but I can’t buy into Moseley’s silent and zombified deadly killer act. It’s not his fault, though. I blame that fucking ridiculous contraption on the top of his head. Ricky’s brain machine is so cartoonish, and it looks like something out of a bad sci-fi movie. Here take a look:

Spoiler

You won’t see much of her, but Elizabeth Hoffman is spot on as Granny Anderson, and Laura Harring is okay as Jerri. Eric Da Re is just there, and I guess they wanted someone, who embodied the look of an 80’s rock star. Dr. Newbury is a douchebag. A creepy douchebag, but he’s still a douchebag. Plus, Beymer’s pompous “I’m studying Ricky for the good of mankind!” shtick brings too many unintentional laughs out of me. And Robert Culp’s lighthearted approach towards the hard ass cop persona is enjoyable.

Better Watch Out! is the first serious film in the Silent Night, Deadly Night franchise. No corny one-liners, or over the top characters, and the hammy 80’s slasher routine is toned down. Also, Better Watch Out! is the first Silent Night film to drop the killer Santa Claus theme.

I appreciate the effort for change here. The telekinetic connection storyline with Laura and Ricky is something different, BUT the execution in this film is just horrible. During the trip to Granny’s house, Connely and Dr. Newbury go back and forth during a series of annoying arguments about morals and science. I can’t comprehend the point of the “Ricky’s future” duel between Newbury and Connely. Connely obviously won’t respect Newbury’s opinions, and Newbury is too smug and eccentric, so it’s hard to take him seriously.

Laura has psychic powers. I get that, but Part 3 dropped the ball, because Laura NEVER uses her psychic powers to thwart Ricky’s attacks, or defeat him. In fact, Laura unknowingly gave away Granny’s location, as Ricky listened to Laura’s directions to the house. And during the final confrontation with Ricky, Laura has visions of Granny urging her to use the psychic powers to defeat Ricky. Instead, Laura spends time listening to Ricky’s movements, and destroying the only light bulb in the basement to “even” the odds? And as Ricky is trying to choke Jerri to death, Laura just stands there, and accepts the inevitable?

I understand the dynamic of Ricky searching for Laura, because during his coma, Laura was the only person from the outside, who tried to bond with him. Although, you won’t see the long awaited one on one confrontation between Laura and Ricky until the very end. And everything leading up to the final showdown might put you to sleep. After Laura’s first interaction with Ricky in a nightmare, Better Watch Out! slowly goes through the motions. It’s an unbearable bore-fest, and the underwhelming climax doesn’t help anything.

When Laura, Chris, and Jerri arrive at Granny’s place, the house is empty, and Granny is missing. Laura shows concern, but instead of launching an immediate search party, Chris decides to spend time with Jerri instead. Apparently, making out with and taking a bath with Jerri is more important than your grandmother’s safety? Okay then. Chris is a clueless doofus, and of course, when he finally decides to do something about Granny’s mysterious disappearance, it’s too late. Ugh, I always dread watching the fiasco at Granny’s house, easily the most mind-numbingly stupid series of events in this film.

Why is Ricky indestructible in this film? All of the sudden Ricky is capable of walking through windows and doors? How? While Ricky chokes Jerri, Chris stabs him with a knife. The knife goes through his arm, Ricky just pulls it out, and continues his pursuit of Laura like nothing happened? Seriously?

The violence and gore in this film is laughable. The splatters of blood in the opening nightmare sequence resemble cheap red paint, and I have the same feelings for Laura’s vision of the receptionist’s death. And I always laugh at Dr. Newbury’s “tragic” death scene…….that shouldn’t happen.

FINALLY they dropped the “attempted rapes trigger a tirade” bullshit in this film, and they used clips from Part I again, but they didn’t show any scenes in their entirety, which is a good thing. They also maintained continuity for Ricky’s character, because red and Santa Claus trigger Ricky’s killer instincts. Still, Part 3 is a pretty lousy film. Every time I decide to watch Part 3, it takes me at least a week or more to finish the entire thing, because I can’t sit through this tedious mess in one viewing. The sub-plot featuring the friction between Laura and Jerri is good for a few laughs, and Laura’s insults are hilarious. But overall, Better Watch Out! fails to meet the very low standards of straight-to-video horror. Better Watch Out! tries to be a “smart” slasher flick, but the end result is a pretentious bore with a convoluted and senseless story.

Rating: 2/10