Movie Review Thread

The Amazing Spider Man 2 was a great movie and Marvel characters are on a role this year so far. At this point in time Andrew Garfield is already a lot better as Spider-Man than Tobey Maguire and add Emma Stone to the loving duo and this new reboot is miles ahead better. In this sequel the two hour and a half weren't long enough to develop a solid plot, instead they went for telling a lot of different stories at the same time. As not to spoil any of you that haven't watched it:

They have the Max a.k.a Electro story arc, with him going from a nerdy lonely guy to a menace to the public. Then you had the Osborn's arc. You had the Parker Family discoveries and what not and last but not least Gwen/Peter relationship. Well, with so much stuff to put into a single movie somethings are bound to feel rushed, but given the circumstances they ended up doing a very good job.

This movie had a feeling of conclusion as far as Peter Parker goes - he learns about his parents, the reason they died and he can now be proud of them. He learns that you can't trust some people and that innocents end up paying the bigger check. But the most important thing he learns is that people make choices and that he can't protect everyone.

It was the first time as far as Super-Hero movies go (that I know of) that the evil ends up winning too, in this one, the premature death of Gwen Stacy. You feel the drama and the disappointment because Emma Stone created a really likable character and her death is the big point of the sequel. One would assume that the scene would have a lot more violence, anger and what not, but it was really fast and a turning point for the next installment, because Peter Parker does not have his path anymore, he's now Spider-Man that gives people hope and not Spider-Man that loves Gwen Stacy and is capable of doing everything for her. It was an emotional roller-coaster and I'm expecting Mary Jane Watson to be introduced in the movie, but I gotta say, it will be damn hard to replace Gwen Stacy from the fans hearts. Some 8 to 9 year old kids were saying: "Such bullshit!" after the ending, and one really stormed off so take that into consideration.

I loved the movie and I recommend to everyone of you.
 
Captain America is amazing. Like, I've seen it 3 times in the theaters amazing. Before seeing it the first time, I had heard rumblings of it being on par with The Avengers. I was skeptical but not anymore. The fight scenes are much better than in the first film. The Winter Soldier is a complete badass. The story takes you in and just makes you want to know what's going to happen next. The end is a good cliffhanger (Not like Desolation of Smaug, but easily makes me want to watch the 3rd film right now). There are some things that are not hard to predict, but still nice surprises as well.

I do feel bad for people who have watched Agents of SHIELD and not seen the movie yet. The show completely spoils major parts of the movie.

And for anyone curious who hasn't seen it yet, there are 2 credit scenes.
 
So it's April 22nd, oldies day! And in the spirit of oldies day I'm going to review two classic movies that I saw for the first time recently. I'm just kidding it's not oldies day, in fact I made that up I don't even know if it or anything like it exists. But none the less I'm still going to be reviewing two very old movies, and that's a little unique for me because I hate movies that are this old. I watched them as a part of a project, and I figured why not review them. But I can't exactly review it for it's time because I don't know how movies are in this time. So these movies aren't going to get good reviews, because they're still going to be judged the same way I would judge a modern movie.

So up first...


Hush Hush, Sweet Charlotte (1964)

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Hush Hush, Sweet Charlotte is a horror film for it's time that had apparently scared the socks off of people in the 1960s. However to me it was more of a comedy than a thriller. Then again most modern day horror films have that affect on me as well so that doesn't mean anything. This movie is about an old southern girl who is all alone with her housekeeper in a big house, years after being originally suspected of murder for her lover, and then being let go. She's already descended into madness, but when a relative appears things seem to get worse and worse.

Now this film could probably be like one of the movies M. Night Shyamalan would direct in today's time, but to me the ending was fairly predictable. I won't go too far into details but I saw it a mile away. I guess for it's time it was supposed to be one of those big shocking endings, but after fifty years I suppose it just became cliche. Another thing I dislike was the fact that it was in black and white. This had nothing to do with it being an old movie, because color films have been out way before this came out. They choose to do this to keep with the horror effect, and it just wasn't worth it for me. It didn't make it any scarier, and really it just made it more and more annoying.

I didn't really know any of the actors in this movie so I can't really comment on them, but I will say they didn't do an awful job in the roles they had. Another positive thing was the music score. It seemed to fit really well with the scenes and set the tone for what was going on very well. All in all though I hate old movies, and this one wasn't an exception. It was hard to sit through for me, and I just all around didn't care for it. It wasn't a bad story though, but it's not something I'll ever watch again.

Rating: 4/10


Pillow Talk (1959)

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Pillow Talk is basically about a man and a woman who don't get along. They share the same telephone line and despise each other. But the womanizing man gets an idea to have some fun with the woman on the other end, and when sees her in person he disguises his voice and wins her over. But will he develop feelings stronger than the prank he was pulling? I'll say that I liked Pillow Talk more than I liked HHSC. Once again I can't really say anything about the actors because I have no idea who they are, although I do know Doris Day is pretty well known for that time period. This movie has sort of a battle of the sexes thing going on with the proud female going up against the womanizing male, and it's a meh type of thing. I would have preferred they took things into a different direction, but hey what can you do.

Something I liked is the setting. 1950s New York seemed to have been captured very well by the directors, and it was interesting to see all the cars, clothes, and apartments for that time period. Which is another reason why I liked this movie a lot more than the first one I reviewed. Not only is it in color making it seem more modern, but just the settings in general. This movie takes place in the big city while the other takes place in the middle of nowhere in the southern united states.

One thing I noticed is this film is a lot like a more modern film called You've Got Mail with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. They're both set in New York. Both of the main characters communicate with each other through some way or another, with Pillow Talk it's the telephone line and with You've Got Mail it's the computer. Both characters interact with each other in both person and through their other methods, and in one or the other they can't stand each other. Yet in the end they end up together and in love. Both of them are classic rom-coms, and I'm not a big fan of that genre. Although I love Tom Hanks so You've Got Mail wasn't bad. And I'll admit Pillow Talk get a couple laughs out of me as well.

It's better than the first film I reviewed, but it was still too outdated for me. I just am not a big fan of these older movies. These are probably two of the only movies I've seen from that time period, and it'll likely stay that way for a good while. I definitely won't be reviewing another one this outdated again that's for sure. Pillow Talk however I don't know if for some strange reason it was on TV which I doubt it would be, I might flip it on for awhile. But I'm not going to hunt it down and get the urge to watch it again.

Rating: 5/10
 
Captain America: The Winter Soldier: As someone who wasn't all that impressed with the first Capt. America film, I can honestly say that this is one of the best Marvel/Comic Book movies of all time. As good, if not better than The Avengers. If you even kind of like Marvel, super hero movies, comic book movies, etc. then I highly recommend this film & even if you don't, then you will still probably find it entertaining. 9.5/10

God's Not Dead: Kevin Sorbo is surprisingly good & the film has a very positive message but that's about all it has going for it. Poor acting, poor story, poor script, etc. & the entire movies feels like a bad commercial for some awful Christian rock band called Newsboys. Throughout the film: Newsboys shirts, Newsboys posters, Newsboys songs on the kids Ipod, a giant Newboys concert held at the "This Is Obviously The Staples Center" Hastings Ranch Center at the end of the movie, etc. Just laughable really. 3/10

Heaven Is For Real: A decent film that explores theology through the eyes of a child. Greg Kinnear is great & the movie has a few really touching/thought provoking moments but it seems to be lacking when it comes to real substance or any kind of real "answers". Also the films depictions of heaven, angels, Jesus, etc. seem like very simplified fairy tale versions that would have best been left to the audiences imagination. Perhaps the most intriguing part of the film comes in very brief scenes at the very beginning & the very end where it links Colton Burpo's story to that of Akiane Kramarik, who I surprisingly found to be much more interesting & have a much more compelling story than that of Burpo or anyone else portrayed in the film. Also Kramarik has a genuine talent that she uses to try & show people God's wonders & beauty, after watching several interviews with The Burpo Family it seems like the Parents just brainwashed their son into helping them sell a book that they wrote. 6/10
 
Violent Cop (1989)
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Directed by Takeshi Kitano
Written by Hisashi Nozawa
Produced by Hisao Nabeshima, Takio Yoshida, Shozo Ichiyama
Starring: Takeshi Kitano​

Synopsis: Detective Azuma (Kitano) is a Dirty Harry-esc cop. He's a violent man, flexible with the rules and, on the face of things, a bit of a bastard. Getting to know him is as tough as the gruff exterior. His day-to-day world begins to change though when he discovers a fellow detective and friend of his, Iwaki (Shigeru Hiraizumi), is involved with the drug trade. From here things go from bad, to worse and beyond even that.

Review: Many people will recall Takeshi Kitano as that bloke who played the teacher in Battle Royale (2000) (surprisingly, or not so, named Takeshi) or as the man whose name was at the forefront of Takeshi's Castle, the (at least in the UK) popular Japanese gameshow that only seemed to make some sense, even with the "insightful" commentary of Craig Charles. Kitano though is oh so much more.

Violent Cop is Takeshi Kitano's first outing as a director and his first major, serious motion picture role. Prior to this he had played a prominent supporting role in Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence (1983) alongside David Bowie but otherwise was a popular TV comic and comedic actor. Here things begin to change as Kitano adopts the persona that most internationally will associate with his career; a violent Charles Bronson or, as mentioned previously, Clint Eastwood type likeable renegade.

Kitano's comedic routes are clear to see here. The way he walks for example, whether accidental or otherwise is rather humorous, or there's the chase sequence where he and a new recruit he's been paired with go after an abusive pimp on foot and by car. His to the point, cynical characterisation of Azuma is very fitting for comedic purposes, but make no mistake, this is not a comedy. Indeed, as the plot chugs along, the blood comes thick and fast.

This is where Kitano's direction becomes key. The violence is substantial and brutal. There's rape, drug abuse, fist fights, stabbings and guns fired to name but a few nasty bits and pieces but Kitano restricts our vision of these events. Showing us the beginning of the action and/or possibly the end, he allows we the audience to fill in the gritty blanks while giving us enough substance to play with.

Then there's the treatment of Azuma's character. True, he is somewhat like Dirty Harry, but he is perhaps even closer in relation to the likes of Jef Costello (Alain Delon) in Le Samouraï (1968) or Ryan Gosling's character in Drive (2011). Azuma is a loner, cynical, abandoned to the grit and the grime of the world. He's got a shitty job, his sister suffers from mental issues and the world purely sucks. This is reflected in Kitano's camera, isolating and secluding Azuma from the world (look out for the festival scene near the start and the part where he visits a park where children are playing).

For a first timer, Kitano's camera work is magnificent and extremely polished. His cold repetition of movement fits the world he's created perfectly and the action is presented in harsh reality with a farcical overtone. The ending is perhaps the finest achievement of the film however as it is shot with such style that the likes of Tarantino and Rodriguez have no doubt been trying to recreate such violent magic ever since.

Violent Cop is not without its issues. Some of the violence is poorly executed, particularly prior to the chase scenes (though a baseball shot makes up for the almost immediately) and more importantly, several characters either emerge from nowhere to play an integral role in the story or just simply don't have enough time to be fleshed out with what they are given. Azuma's beef for example is largely with the (I would assume) Yakuza boss' underling, but a surprising amount of time is devoted to a, well shot, showdown between the two that never goes anywhere.

This isn't for everyone, that much is clear and you should stay away from this if you either a) don't like subtitles or b) don't like blood. However Violent Cop is an at times funny, at times brutal film about one man's war with society and those who dwell in the underbelly of it. Kitano's performance is terrific and his direction works very well. This is a hugely enjoyable film and I look forward to checking out Kitano's various works which I'll be sure to review in the future. 4/5.

Oh, and before I forget, the music is quite good as well. Check out the central theme for the film:

[YOUTUBE]R0ACJfsUHnw[/YOUTUBE]​
 
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Godzilla (2014)

*CONTAINS SPOILERS*

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Godzilla was one of the movies I've been looking forward to since I saw it's trailer so I came in with pretty big expectations which might not have been the best move. I've seen snippets of other Godzilla movies so this 2014 movie was the first I've seen of of Godzilla in it's entirety. I went to see this movie in 3D against my wishes, but it didn't really hurt the movie at all seeing it in 3D.

Based on other reviews that I've read, the acting in the movie was supposed to be excellent. While I'll argue that "excellent" might not be the best word, I'll say that it's better than usual acting here. Cranston, Taylor-Johnson, and Olsen did great at their roles to give us a human element to the movie. I've never heard of Olsen before (only of her twin sisters), but she did a great job in the limited role she had. She also didn't appear on screen for a long time, but I think it was just enough for me to enjoy. She's easy on the eyes so to speak.

There were a few things that I didn't understand though. Those creatures that Godzilla fought with, they were found before but only came out now? It was just kind of weird to me. Also, when the Navy or whatever was following Godzilla when he was swimming to his destination was weird to me as well. Wouldn't there have been more chaos with Godzilla swimming? It just seemed too calm for me, not very monster-like in my opinion. I also didn't like that Bryan Cranston was in the movie for about 20 minutes. In the trailers, it made the movie seem like a big deal because Cranston was the lead in the cast but as you watch the movie, you find out the movie is about Godzilla and Taylor-Johnson's character. Which isn't too bad because the movie is titled, Godzilla, after all.

I loved the fighting scenes between Godzilla and the two creatures. The visuals were amazing. Godzilla was such a boss against those two creatures. Those two creatures got put in their place my Godzilla. I marked out when Godzilla turned into Charizard and busted out his fire breath, that was awesome! Again, after all that was over, Godzilla just left chaos in his wake like a boss and just disappeared. That's how the movie ends. Not sure how else this movie could've ended other than that, but I guess I was just expecting more to happen.

Overall, Godzilla was a good watch. If you're coming into this looking for a classic, you won't get it. There isn't much story despite the decent acting job of the cast. It also looked like the director tried really hard for the audience to care about the humans which didn't really work with me. You had Cranston, who brought in the audience, Taylor-Johnson, who was the male lead, Olsen, who was the female lead and the attractive one, while Watanabe was the character who gave the audience insider info on Godzilla in case we didn't know what was going on.

The characters played their roles well for sure. But I just came into this movie looking for more and I guess that's my fault. The movie is basically Godzilla vs. two creatures plus seeing how the chaos caused by the fight affected certain humans. Yeah, that summary pretty much sums up the movie well. Still, I enjoyed it.

I've seen a lot of people compare Godzilla with Pacific Rim and understandably so. If you asked me which movie I enjoyed more, I'd say Pacific Rim. But that's a topic for another day. Go and watch Godzilla, it's a movie you have to see as it's very modernized and the action scenes will take your breath away.

RATING: 6.5/10



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Neighbors (2014)

*CONTAINS SPOILERS*

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As soon as I saw the trailer for this movie, I knew that I had to give the movie a try and I'm glad I did. I feared that the trailer might've shown a little too much of the movie, which is a problem nowadays, but it actually has some other good moments that isn't seen in the trailer. I saw that this movie did pretty good on the weekend it was released and it was a shocker to everyone. That just gave me more reason to check this movie out.

What I liked about the movie was that there was an underlying message that the movie wanted to get out and it's basically the summary of the entire movie. Zac Efron plays a young adult who doesn't want to grow up because he's scared of what the future holds for him. Dave Franco plays the best friend of Zac Efron's character and he wants to move on from the "partying" life. Seth Rogen and Rose Byrne play a couple with a baby and want to go back to their days as a youth. It displays three very important stages in life and I thought that was pretty awesome. The people who went to go see this movie probably belong or are in the same situation as one of these characters. The message is clear and I thought it was great.

Like I said earlier, I thought the trailer might've shown all the funny parts of the movie, but I was relieved to know that that wasn't the case. The scene where Rogen and Efron are high or drunk and imitate who's the better Batman was hilarious. There's a lot more but I don't want to spoil too much of the movie. Not to mention that there were a few pretty cool cameos.

There were some inconsistencies as usual, which is to be expected. It looked like no one else lived on that street except those two homes that were filled so that was kind of weird. But I didn't mind it too much because the jokes had me laughing so much that I almost forgot about it.

Rogen and Byrne have great chemistry as a couple and are quite hilarious. Byrne's Australian accent was put to good use here. It was so cute and funny how she'd cuss. Well to me, it was funny at least. Efron played the asshole character pretty well, I think it might've been his best comedic performance yet. Franco did pretty well in a supporting role. When he gets into DAT GAZE, watch out! That was hilarious as well. But you'll need to watch the movie to find out about DAT GAZE.

Overall, I had a fun time watching this movie. I wouldn't mind seeing it a second time, that's for sure which is surprising because I'm not one to really pay to watch a movie a second time.

RATING: 7.5/10
 
More Takeshi Kitano goodness coming up, but I want to explain that I've left out A Scene at the Sea (1991) which is between Boiling Point (1990) and Sonatine (1993). The reason behind this? The latter two films form a sort of trilogy with Violent Cop (1989) which I reviewed only two posts above. They are Kitano's initial exploration of the Gangster/Yakuza sub-genre and part of what makes him such a recognised world figure. A Scene at the Sea is a departure from this style and a much different type of film (though, having not watched it, I anticipate that much of the isolation themes will carry over, but I digress). Anyway, on with the reviews:

Boiling Point (1990)
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Directed by Takeshi Kitano
Written by Takeshi Kitano
Produced by Hisao Nabeshima, Takio Yoshida, Masayuki Mori
Starring: Masahiko Ono, Takeshi Kitano​

Synopsis: When a young amateur baseball player somehow infuriates a local mobster, his coach is beaten up and so he swears revenge going out to Okinawa where he becomes entangled with a local Yakuza, Uehara (Kitano), who has plans for revenge that could match up with the youngster's. However, is Uehara stable enough to do business with?

Review: This is an interesting choice from Kitano that falters ever so slightly due to a cultural divide. A large element of the plot, story and ideas expressed in Boiling Point are focused on or around the game of baseball, a sport widely played in Japan, but one that barely sees the light of day over in the UK (and most of the world for that matter). Many of these plot points go awry through a failure or ignorance on my part in relation to the game of baseball. With that said, there are many elements of the film that are translated extremely well.

The film is clear to again portray its central character (not Kitano here, but young Masahiko Ono) as a loner, isolated and trapped in a shitty world where he finds very few joys. From the opening shot of Masaki (Ono) sat alone in a dimly lit toilet, waiting for his turn to bat, it is clear that he isn't an ordinary fellow. Kitano's own introduction mirrors this only with the colourful setting of Okinawa drawing a direct parallel. These are two men that fate is bringing together.

Boiling Point's action and drama is fairly ordinary for most of the film. It has a steady current of dark, near pitch black, humour running through it which at times does go too far (bizarre portions where Uehara mockingly dry humps his right hand man after he orders his girlfriend to sleep with him for example) but maintains an intrigue. The plot runs as you would expect it to for the most part until the two central characters meet. From there, the film takes an interesting turn. Two loners who could help one another out.

By far the best sequences in the film involve both Uehara and Masaki with specific mentions going to the scenes in bars and clubs and the bits where Uehara seems to be able to tell the future, the events that are to come flashed up on screen for all to see as well as some sequences that perhaps give us a more concrete vision of just what is in Uehara's head (see the picture above).

As always with Kitano, the violence is excellently executed and staged with great bravado. Blood spatters everywhere, actors expressions exaggerated and drained of every ounce of energy as they express the pain, fear and ultimate loneliness of death. However, Kitano disappears from the story as quickly as he arrived, appearing only in the middle chunk allowing the Masaki central thread to conclude and the mediocrity of the whole piece to conclude.

Boiling Point seems to be a fairly ordinary film with an electric middle part that ultimately excites but does not electrify. The film peaks in its middle and a lack of understanding of the culture around baseball cripples the viewing experience for yours truly (American readers/viewers may find the film more intriguing). Overall the film comes across as an experiment from Kitano trying a few different things out and being less conventional with his cinematic technique than in Violent Cop. 2.5/5.

Then there is this:


Sonatine(1993)
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Directed by Takeshi Kitano
Written by Takeshi Kitano
Produced by Hisao Nabeshima, Ritta Saito, Masayuki Mori
Starring: Takeshi Kitano​

Synopsis: Tired of his life as a gangster, Murakawa (Kitano) prepares for one more job as his boss sends him to Okinawa to deal with feuding branches of the Yakuza and bring peace to the territory, but from the start he is immediately suspicious of the goings on. Is he being set up to take the fall?

Review: The back of DVD for this particular film notes that "many consider this to be Kitano's masterpiece". I can see why. When the film was screen for Alain Delon, when certain individuals at the Cannes film festival explained that Kitano was a "huge fan of Le Samurai (1968)", he was reported to have said "What's that? That's not acting. He's only got three facial expressions." I can see why he said this.

Sonantine is perhaps Kitano's most interesting work (that I've seen at least) and what's more interesting is that I can see both sides of the argument. The film appears, on a surface level, to be an ultra-violent gangster film laced with bullets and blood, but underneath this weak marketing exterior is a film consumed with the recurring theme of isolation, being alone and ultimately just not giving a shit anymore.

Kitano's Murakawa is a man who is so very tired, fed up with the life he has ended up in and fed up with the hypocrisy of the Yakuza code. There is supposed to be honour here, a brotherhood, a trust, but time and time again it is broken and brutalised for the sake of greed and gain. It is telling that Murakawa is at his happiest when he is with his men at the beach after they are forced to flee the city early on in the film. Yet underneath this fun and games is an undertone of violence.

Beer cans are shot off heads by deeply inexperienced marksmen, games of Russian roulette are played and then men almost return to a savage living, using the rain to clean themselves and resroting to good old fashioned means of entertainment (mock sumo fights, mimicking a dance routine that was presented to them earlier in the picture etc...) Under all this still is the portrait of a deeply disturbed and deeply tired man in Murakawa.

This is most obvious when he watches a rape begin, not interfering before the rapist realises that he's watching, approaches him and subsequently gets head-butted for his troubles (I shan't spoil what happens next). Murakawa really could care less about what happens and while he begins an almost fatherly bond with the green as grass crew he is forced to go to Okinawa with, his indifference to any sort of violence (including a vision of himself blowing his own brains out) shows what he has become.

As Kitano nails the characters and plot, he doesn't weaken his direction when it comes to acts of that violence, capturing it in terrific majesty, slowing certain scenes down (much like Boiling Point) and showcasing it much like a dance. There's a deep intrigue in how such things work and while certain acts of violence are fast and nasty, others are prolonged and painful. Regardless, they're all satisfying. 5/5.

Again, I'll end with a piece of music, this one from the Sonatine score. It begins in almost John Carpenter, Halloween (1978) style and then tails off into something different:

[YOUTUBE]zSLlX4czsZA[/YOUTUBE]​
 
Willow Creek (2014)

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**Spoilers**

It’s Jim’s (Bryce Johnson) birthday, and as a devout Bigfoot (or Sasquatch) follower and believer, Jim takes a trip to Willow Creek with his reluctant girlfriend, Kelly (Alexie Gilmore). In Willow Creek, Jim has plans to film his own footage of Bigfoot to follow in the footsteps of the famous Patterson-Gimlin film. In 1967, Roger Patterson and Robert “Bob” Gimlin captured footage of Bigfoot in Willow Creek, and Jim is determined to capture the creature on film to justify the risky expedition.

During the trip to Willow Creek, Kelly mocks Jim’s beliefs in Bigfoot, and together, the couple receives a stern warning from an angry local about the dangers of searching for Bigfoot.

Eventually, Jim and Kelly revisit the site of the Patterson-Gimlin film. One night, a series of strange noises and the footsteps of an unknown stalker disturb a peaceful slumber in Jim and Kelly’s tent. Are Jim and Kelly the victims of a cruel prank from a group of disgruntled locals? Or, are Jim and Kelly running out of time and options before the real Bigfoot attacks?

You’ll need a lot of patience for Willow Creek. The terrifying and spooky stuff doesn’t kick until the forty-seven minute mark, when Jim and Kelly are all alone in the tent at night. Before the nighttime tent scene, Willow Creek is loaded with Jim’s one on one interviews and sightseeing trips with Jim and Kelly, as they explore and visit different Bigfoot attractions (paintings, eating Bigfoot burgers, the Bigfoot Motel, etc.).

Do you believe in Jim’s mission to capture footage of the real Bigfoot? Well, if you don’t there’s a good chance you’ll have a hard time sitting through Willow Creek. And that’s my big problem with found-footage films most of the time: you’ll run into a conundrum with your suspension of disbelief mindset. On one hand, you know you’re watching a movie, and it’s not “real.” But on the flip side of that, you have to sit back and convince yourself you’re watching a REAL home movie, documentary, or lost tape, where the primary protagonists experience a series of bizarre, supernatural, or unexplainable occurrences.

With Willow Creek, you have to believe in Jim’s journey to find the real Bigfoot, his motivations, and his unwavering determination to uncover the truth. The problem is, the documentary portion of Willow Creek drags on and on, and nothing happens until the tent scene at night. Well, there’s the one scene of tension, where Jim and Kelly run into the angry local, who warns them about following Patterson and Gimlin’s film, but that’s about it. After a while, the rinse and repeat formula for interviewing locals and sightseeing feels boring and tedious. Willow Creek clocks in at one hour and twenty minutes for an overall runtime, and the scary stuff kicks in at the forty-seven minute mark. Think about that for a second.

I emphasized patience earlier, and you’ll need a lot of patience for the nighttime tent scene towards the end. At night, a series of strange noises and footsteps disturb Jim and Kelly. Jim believes it’s Bigfoot, but Kelly thinks a group of locals are playing a prank on the dumb tourists. But Kelly changes her mind after a loud and abnormal moaning sound. The intruder presses one of their limbs against the tent, but the unknown figure runs away again after Kelly’s screams. Jim and Kelly survive the night, and in the morning, Jim and Kelly agree to finally leave Willow Creek after all the close calls.

What happens after the tent scene? In the morning, Jim and Kelly realize they’re lost after three hours of wandering around, and passing a familiar tree. Jim picks up a scraggly strand of Bigfoot’s hair with a piece of flesh attached to it, and Jim records Bigfoot’s footprints. But he doesn’t have time to bask in the glory for discovering Bigfoot evidence, because Bigfoot’s roar surprises Kelly, but the couple runs away before Bigfoot has a chance to attack.

At night, a frightened Jim and Kelly are trying to hide from Bigfoot, when they spot a local missing woman (you’ll see a picture of her on a flyer at the restaurant in the early stages of the movie). She’s standing alone half naked, she’s in a petrified daze, and she starts moaning out of nowhere.

Jim and Kelly are stuck in a state of shock, and Bigfoot attacks before Jim and Kelly have a chance to react. Bigfoot mangles Jim, and the camera falls to the ground (you can hear Kelly’s screams in the background). From the camera’s POV, Bigfoot drags the camera, or the camera and Jim together (it’s hard to tell) on the ground, and Kelly continues to scream off-camera. To end the movie, Kelly’s screams are presumably silenced by Bigfoot, and you’ll hear a chorus of moans before the credits start rolling.

The tent scene? It’s a mixed bag for a number of reasons. I’ll tell you this right now, if you’re expecting a shocking payoff, as the tent scene unfolds, you’ll be disappointed. You will NOT see Bigfoot (more on that later). Instead, you’ll just hear the moans, a kooky “whoop!” sound, and the sounds of knocking wood.

With that said, the tent scene hooked me in from start to finish. Is the real Bigfoot moments away from an attack? Or is Kelly right about a bunch of locals playing a prank? Yeah, you can say the tent scene drags after the first five minutes, and I imagine some will be disappointed by the lack of a close up view for Bigfoot, but overall the tent scene works, because the nail-biting teasing keeps you guessing until the next scene, and I had to know what would happen next every step of the way.

If we're talking about the finale, the audience doesn’t know if Jim is dead or not. You can clearly hear the sounds of Bigfoot attacking Jim, but you never see a shot of his corpse. And we’re unsure of Kelly’s fate. Again, you can hear the sounds of Kelly’s agony in the background, but you won’t see Kelly’s attack/struggle happening on-screen. And the chorus of moans in the dark to the end movie? Creepy stuff.

Director/writer Bobact Goldthwait takes his frist shot at a horror film with Willow Creek, and I appreciate the restrained less is more approach to blood and gore here. In fact, if you take out the one scene, where Jim finds a strand of Bigfoot’s hair with a bloody piece of flesh attached to it, you won’t see any blood and gore in Willow Creek. Goldthwait gives you a chance to think and use your imagination, because you’re thinking about what could’ve happened during the close calls with Bigfoot. Or you’re thinking about the gruesome aftermath, because the attacks are pretty bad, if Goldthwait refuses to show them on camera, right?

As far as Bigfoot goes, you will not see the creature (well, the answer is a reluctant yes, if you count the paintings and the statue) in this film. Not once. You’ll see footprints, you’ll hear the roars, and you’ll see a shot of bushes moving with a hidden Bigfoot, but that’s it. Again, I don’t have a problem with Goldthwait’s less is more approach for Bigfoot, because he did a good job maintaining Bigfoot’s mystique. When you actually see Bigfoot, that’s it. You immediately kill your chances for genuine scares and surprises, because there’s no going back, when you finally pull the curtain open.

Willow Creek is not a groundbreaking film for the found-footage genre, and you need a lot of patience to sit through this one. Also, the problems in Jim and Kelly’s relationship (long story short, Jim proposes to Kelly. She rejects him, but they agree to move in together) are overshadowed by Bigfoot, but Goldthwait delivers the goods with a tense finale and an eerie cliffhanger, and the tent scene towards the end is genuinely spooky. Although, I’ll warn you now, you’ll have to sit through a lot of “let’s talk about Bigfoot” interviews, but the finale delivers a good amount of edge of your seat thrills, if you have what it takes to endure the documentary side of Willow Creek.

Rating: 6/10
 
Desperation (2006)

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**Spoilers**

Mary (Annabeth Gish) and Peter (Henry Thomas) Jackson are taking a road trip to New York. During a stint on the back roads of the Nevada desert, Collie Entragian (Ron Perlman), the town Sheriff in Desperation, forces the couple to stop for a missing license plate. A simple trip to return the car to David’s sister takes a turn for the worst, when Collie finds a large bag of marijuana in the trunk. Without hesitation, Collie arrests Peter and Mary for possession with the intent to sell and distribute.

In Desperation, Peter and Mary are horrified at a desolate landscape, including scattered dead bodies and deserted buildings. At the holding cells in Desperation’s police station, Mary meets a young David Carver (Shane Haboucha), his father, Ralph (Matt Frewer), his mother, Ellen (Sylvia Kelegian), and Tom Billingsley (Charles Durning), an elderly resident of Desperation. Eventually, Collie captures Johnny Marinville (Tom Skerritt), a famous writer, who’s looking for inspiration for his next book. Johnny joins the other prisoners in the holding cells.

After a while, the prisoners realize they have one thing in common with each other: Collie abused his powers as Sheriff to arrest everyone. No phone calls, no lawyers, nothing. Help from the outside is a long shot, but Johnny has an ace up his sleeve. Unbeknownst to Collie, Johnny made a phone call to his assistant, Steve Ames (Steven Weber) for a helping hand.

During the night, Steve arrives in Desperation with a hitchhiker named Cynthia Smith (Kelly Overton). Steve and Cynthia search the city for Johnny and the others, but an endless trail of mangled corpses complicates the rescue mission. With some help from an old roll of reel film, David learns the truth about Collie: Collie is possessed by Tak, an evil entity, who was released from the mine in Desperation years ago.

Tak uses his powers to control bloodthirsty dogs and panthers, so he can use them as weapons. Although, human bodies can’t sustain Tak’s powers, so Tak is forced to switch vessels frequently, but Tak is running out of human bodies to possess. Tak kidnaps Mary, and with guidance from God, and his sister, Pie (Sammi Hanratty), David leads an all-out assault to stop Tak once and for all.

It’s a toss up between Skerritt and Perlman for the best performance here. Perlman’s hokey performance as this sadistic Sheriff with a dark sense of humor is fun to watch. Skerritt is spot on as this remorseless jerk with an ego, but the Johnny character has a (predictable) change of heart towards the end. Shane Haboucha delivers a competent performance as David, and the rest of the supporting cast ranges from decent to mediocre.

Do you believe? It’s a reoccurring question throughout Desperation. David puts all his faith in God to guide him through Desperation, so he can lead the others to fight Tak. As a non-believer, David’s devotion to God infuriates Ellen (Ellen is still upset over Pie’s death in Desperation), and Johnny won’t accept a cruel God.

The battle of beliefs bounces back and forth, but the religious side of Desperation never overwhelms the story. There’s an even balance of spooky horror, the fight to stop Tak, and David’s mission to convince everyone to have faith, so you don’t have to worry about any muddling problems.

Who’s the hero? Well if you guessed David, you’re wrong. Years ago, Johnny crossed paths with Tak during the Vietnam War. In Vietnam, Johnny witnessed a possessed victim arm a bomb in the bathroom of a bar, but Johnny didn’t warn anyone about the looming explosion. Instead, Johnny ran from the bar to save his own skin, leaving everyone else to die in the blast.

During the big showdown, Johnny believes in David and his faith in God, but his conscience kicks in at the last second. Johnny won’t allow David to risk his life in the fight against Tak. On top of that, Johnny takes advantage at a second shot of redemption for Vietnam. Johnny hugs David good-bye, and with the remaining explosives, Johnny marches into the mine alone to confront and destroy Tak. In the mine, Tak pulls Johnny into a deep hole. Johnny injures his leg, and he’s unable to stand. After the fall, Johnny sacrifices himself by using his last ounce of strength to fire a gunshot as the trigger for the explosives.

Predictable. It’s the only word you can use to describe this finale. You could see Johnny’s change of heart coming from a mile away, and you knew he would sacrifice himself as the lone combatant to fight Tak, because Johnny needed redemption for Vietnam and his actions in Desperation ( long story short, Johnny was a real jerk to everyone). Still, Desperation delivers a satisfying finale. The timeless formula for a small band of unlikely heroes rising to the occasion to defeat a seemingly unstoppable evil power works in Desperation, and Johnny’s one-liner (“I hate critics!”) before the big explosion brought a good laugh out of me.

Desperation isn’t terrible, but it’s nothing to brag about. Unfortunately, Desperation suffers from the usual problems in a Stephen King adaptation that’s made for TV: an overall so-so cast, an overlong runtime (the commercial breaks provide some relief on TV), and tacky special effects (i.e. Tak in a bodiless form towards the end). With all that said, director Mick Garris provides a chilling and eerie ghost town atmosphere for Desperation, and you’ll see a few nasty and cringeworthy moments (the decaying bodies of Tak’s victims, a slot machine that dispenses blood, etc.). Also, without Perlman and Skerritt, Desperation could’ve been a lot worse. It’s not Brian De Palma’s Carrie (or The Mist), but if you’re a fan of Stephen King and Stephen King adaptations, Desperation is worth a try.

Rating: 6/10
 
Transformers: Age of Extinction.
I was a fan of the Us 1980s cartoon and always dreamed of a film version of the series some day. That dream thanks to Hasbro, Dreamworks and Michael Bay has been a fucking nightmare. This installment like the 3 before it are typical Michael Bay flicks, overly long, action you can't really make out, a lousy nonsensical story and uninteresting characters.

A widower, inventor and over protective father Cade Yeager (played by Mark Wahlberg) and his daughter Tessa (played by Nicola Peltz) are facing serious financial hardship when he discovers a hiding transformer Optimus Prime. After the last battle with the Decepticons (in Dark Side of the Moon prequel to this film) Autobots are being hunted down for experimentation and then extermination by the US government with aid of a corporation and a Decepticon or Autobot bent on finding Optimus Prime. Those autobots not captured are hiding out.

Stanley Tucci is in as a sort of corrupt business owner making money off of revers engineering the transformers dna, Grammer is ok, Wahlberg and Peltz are alright but the script doesn't give them much to do. This film will make more than its money back and will lead to more films, but ultimately these films will be more of the same mess that we see on the screen. For all the money they spend on these films, they couldn't get a better script, or an editor who could narrow this thing down to a reasonable time ? Wait for the dvd to come out.

4/10

X men days of Future Past

A combination of the cast of days of First Class and the 1st X men trilogy with great results. The war between mutants and non mutants has brought in a new enemy to both, machines. Robot sentinels have enslaved the humans and the mutants in the future. Rebelling against this new order are two teams of X men and one team has an ability to help end the war. Kitty Pryde a mutant with the ability to go through objects (doors, shelves ) has a new ability to send a person's conscious back in time to give her team details to avoid capture. As the two teams meet up, Wolverine decides to have his consciousness sent back to stop the creation of the Sentinels by stopping the people who helped in its creation. Trask, a scientist who started the anti mutant program, Mystique a mutant who kills Trask and is captured, tortured and experimented on giving the Sentinels their new abilities. To complete his mission Wolverine will need to get two foes Professional Charles Xavier and Erik Magneto Lensherr to work together to stop Mystique and stop the Sentinel program. The film has great effects, a solid script and really good acting from the cast.

8/10
 
Alien Raiders (2008)

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**Spoilers**

Five days before Christmas, a group of raiders invade Hastings Market in Buck Lake, Arizona. Within the quiet little town holding a small population of 25, 012, the citizens of Buck Lake are used to living peaceful and harmless lives, but on this one night, the raiders will change everything forever.

Led by Aaron Ritter (Carlos Bernard), the group of raiders include Sterling (Courtney Ford), Kane (Rockmond Dunbar), Spooky (Philip Newby), Ulrich (Joseph Steven Yag), and Logan (Tom Kiesche). During a firefight, Ulrich and Spooky are shot to death by a local police officer named Chambers (Keith Hudson). With their motives unclear, the remaining hostages beg for answers.

On the outside, Seth Steadman (Matthew St. Patrick), the lead detective and a former hostage negotiator, tries to work out a deal with Ritter, so he can secure the safety of his stepdaughter, Whitney (Samantha Streets), who also works at Hastings as a cashier. But the situation becomes more complex when Ritter reveals the details behind his mission: Ritter is the leader of a secret alien hunting group. Ritter and his team search the United States in a never ending mission to exterminate the alien threat with Logan recording everything. Ritter and his team believe the king of the alien species, who is capable of possessing any human, is hiding somewhere in Hastings Market.

Benny (Jeffrey Licon), a lower level employee at Hastings Market, is determined to protect Whitney at all costs, while ignoring his whiny store manager Mr. Tarkey (Joel McCrary), and trying to devise a plan with another co-worker named Manny (Derek Basco).

The group runs into some serious trouble, when a hostage is exposed as an alien after a routine pinky test. As the group’s clairvoyant, Spooky was the only one, who could use his telepathic powers to sniff out an alien without harming anyone. With no other options left, Ritter agrees to release one hostage, if Steadman releases Charlotte (Bonita Friedericy), another clairvoyant, from jail to help. But the alien parasite quickly infects members of the hostage group one by one, and time is running out for Charlotte to answer one crucial question: Who is the king?

Unfortunately, Alien Raiders features a set of generic characters. Benny is the shy nerd, who’s chasing the dream girl (Whitney), who’s out of his league. Mr. Tarkey is the slimy boss. Ritter is the conflicted leader, who struggles with the dilemma of doing the right thing for his cause, and not crossing moral boundaries. And Kane is your typical snarling tough guy. No real complaints about the consistent set of decent performances, but the generic characters drove me nuts most of the time.

So we’re in the final stages of the film, and we’re all lead to believe Chambers is the one, who’s carrying the alien parasite as the king. But there’s a twist! Ritter puts himself in the line of fire, while holding the alien in place, so the cops can have a clear shot to kill the alien once and for all. The alien is shot to death, and Chambers is dead. Ritter is bleeding to death from bullet wounds, so he begs Sterling for a mercy-killing. Sterling agrees, but it’s not over yet.

After a careful inspection, Charlotte realizes Chambers wasn’t carrying the king. Instead, it was Whitney all along. For the final scene of the movie, Benny and Whitney are sitting in a cop car by themselves, and after Seth’s pleas on a walkie-talkie, Benny FINALLY realizes Whitney is carrying the dominant alien. Benny tries to shoot Whitney, but Whitney transforms, and she murders Benny as the screen fades to black.

Amazing swerve. Throughout the movie, Whitney is this panicky mess, and Benny does everything he can possibly do to defend the girl of his dreams, including sacrificing his pinky (more on that later). There’s no way you could suspect Whtiney as “The One,” because Alien Raiders does a good job of throwing you off the trail. Using hindsight, I was able to pick up on a few obvious clues for Whitney being the dominant alien. For starters, Whitney avoided the pinky test, because Benny stood up and took her spot. And on top of that, Whitney went out of her way to play this innocent victim, who NEEDED protection. It’s a genuinely shocking twist with an ironic and tragic ending, because throughout the movie, Benny risked everything to save and protect Whitney, but in the end, Whitney turned on Benny to brutally murder him.

Alien Raiders feels like a mix of The Thing and The Mist (2007). Survivors are trapped in a tight isolated death trap, while a sneaky alien wreaks havoc. Although, if you remember John Carpenter’s version of The Thing, MacReady and others used blood tests to sniff out the alien, but in Alien Raiders, they use a pinky test. Sterling uses a very big kitchen knife to chop off the test subject’s pinky. If the test subject simply bleeds out, then they’re a normal human, and the severed pinky is placed in a container of ice. BUT the aliens are capable of regeneration, so if the pinky grows back, then there’s another alien to worry about. Sounds like a primitive way of testing, huh? Well, Sterling and the others had no choice after Spooky’s death, because Charlotte and Spooky are the only ones, who possess the ability to sense an alien presence without dismembering.

I’ll admit, Alien Raiders took me by surprise, but this film is not without its problems. I mentioned the generic characters earlier, and this film featured one too many corny moments for my taste. A prime example would be the mushy “I’ll do anything for you!” stuff between Whitney and Benny. I’m not trying to sound like a macho tough guy, but the “moments” between Whitney and Benny are too contrived and fake.

Still, Alien Raiders is a nice little low budget sci-fi horror treat. You’ll see a few creepy moments here and there, and there’s enough blood and nasty carnage to satisfy the gore fiends. Plus, the jaw-dropping twist and the cliffhanger at the end pack a powerful punch. I was prepared to go with a lower score, but the twist and the cliffhanger changed my mind. Yeah, the double-whammy at the end is THAT good. Alien Raiders isn’t perfect by a long shot, but it’s worth a try, if you’re a fan of sci-fi horror.

Rating: 7/10
 
Identity (2003)

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**Spoilers**

Malcolm Rivers (Pruitt Taylor Vince) is a death row inmate, and he’s twenty-four hours away from his execution. But Malcolm’s psychiatrist, Dr. Malick (Alfred Molina) tries to convince Judge Taylor (Holmes Osborne) to change his ruling, allowing Malcolm to live out the rest of his days in a psychiatric hospital under his care. Dr. Malick uses Malcolm’s journals during an emergency meeting at a courthouse in a last-ditch effort to save Malcolm’s life, but Dr. Malick’s demonstration during Malcolm’s face to face meeting with Judge Taylor takes an unexpected turn, when Malcolm is forced to confront his worst fears.

Meanwhile, during a heavy rainstorm in Nevada, a limo driver/ex-police officer driver named Ed (John Cusack) is looking for a safe path on the slippery roads ahead. In the backseat, Ed’s client, Caroline Suzanne (Rebecca De Mornay), a disgruntled TV star from the 80’s, orders Ed to look for a replacement battery for her cellphone. Ed takes his eyes off the road for a split second, and he accidentally hits Alice York (Lelia Kenzle). Alice’s young son, Timmy York (Bret Loehr) is horrified at the sight of his wounded mother, but Ed agrees to help Alice, Timmy, and Timmy’s stepfather, George (John C. McGinely) with a ride to the nearest motel.

At the motel, Ed, Caroline, Alice, Timmy, and George meet the owner and manager, Larry (John Hawkes). Alice needs medical attention, but the roads are flooded, the phone lines are down, and cell phones are useless without reception. Eventually, more travelers seek shelter inside the motel. The newlyweds, Ginny (Clea DuVall) and Lou (William Lee Scott) are trying to work out problems in their rocky relationship; a cop named Rhodes (Ray Liotta) is escorting his prisoner, Robert (Jake Busey) to another prison; and Paris (Amanda Peet), a prostitute, is forced into the motel after an unexpected breakdown.

Alice is bleeding to death, and the group is forced to deal with another problem during the rainstorm: an unknown killer is stalking everyone in the motel. The killer quietly eliminates everyone in the motel, and escape is not an option. Ed, Rhodes, and others struggle to solve the mystery behind the killer and his motivations before sunrise, but a series of shocking revelations complicate the investigation……….

If I had to pick one person for the best performance, I would give the nod to John Cusack. Cusack is a solid leading man as Ed. His performance isn’t mind-blowing, but Cusack does enough to justify an increased amount of focus and screen time. Amanda Peet is serviceable as Paris, and you’ll see Peet’s best scenes during her rivalry with Larry. Larry detests prostitutes, and you can feel the disdain between these two during a series of dueling verbal jabs. Ray Liotta? He’s not bad, but his performance as Rhodes is passable at best, and that’s it.

Rebecca De Mornay had the chance to steal the show, as the snobbish and pompous TV star with en ego, but her screen time is cut short here. William Lee Scott is the typical overbearing boyfriend, who openly flirts with Paris, and of course, he verbally abuses Ginny. Clea DuVall is a panicky and frightened mess, as Ginny. Jake Busey is decent enough as the creepy convicted killer with a dark side, and John C. McGinely is believable, as the nerdy and soft spoken stepfather, who’s trying to do the right thing.

Who’s the killer? Is it Rhodes? Larry? Robert? Well, the answer to all three is a big no. On top of that, you can omit EVERYONE from the motel. Why? Because they’re not real. Remember Malcolm Rivers? Malcolm suffers from a severe case of dissociative identity disorder. Malcolm’s mind is cluttered with ten different personalities, and each person at the motel represents one of Malcolm’s personalities. One of the personalities took control of Malcolm’s body, and this personality forced Malcolm to commit the murders. The motel, the ten strangers, the rainstorm, the floods. It’s all fake, and Malcolm is playing out one of Dr. Malick’s elaborate scenarios in his mind, because Malcolm must “eliminate” the murderous personality to avoid his execution.

For a moment, Malcolm snaps out of the motel scenario as Ed, but Dr. Malick pushes Malcolm to return to the scenario in his mind (as Ed) to finish what he started, and eliminate the killer. Rhodes, Paris, and Ed are the sole survivors after Rhodes (an escaped convict, who posed as a cop for a decoy, and Robert was his prison buddy) murders Larry. Ed and Rhodes kill each other in a shoot out, so Paris is the sole survivor. A calm Malcolm finishes the scenario in Judge Taylor’s presence, so Judge Taylor agrees to Dr. Malick’s terms: Malcolm will live out the rest of his life in a mental hospital under Malick’s supervision and care.

At dawn (we‘re jumping into the motel scenario again), Paris uses Larry’s truck to drive to her hometown of Frostproof, Florida to start over. One day, Paris is out in the garden, and she finds a motel room key with the number one on the front. Long story short, the killer placed room keys from the motel on the dead bodies of his victims as a calling card.

Anyway, Paris picks up the key with this terrified look on her face……and Timmy is standing in front of her. Yep. Timmy was the murderous personality in Malcolm’s mind, but Timmy survived the massacre at the motel. Timmy eliminates (or murders) Paris, so Timmy takes full control of Malcolm’s body. Ed and Paris are gone, so Malcolm can’t rely on sensible reasoning or logic anymore. In the van with Dr. Malick and a guard, Malcolm (under Timmy’s influence) uses his handcuffs to strangle Dr. Malick. The driver panics, and the van skids into the desert to end the movie.

Identity packs a powerful punch with a series of genuinely shocking twists at the end. Malcolm living in a dream world, and everyone at the motel being an imaginary person in Malcolm's mind? If you predicted all of that with no bumps in the road, then I need to borrow your crystal ball for a weekend.

I know I say this a lot, but you REALLY have to strap yourself into suspension of disbelief mode for Identity. Maybe I’m the only, who feels this way, but when it comes to reactions, you’ll hate the twists at the end, because you’re in the “too far-fetched” crowd. Or, you’re jaw will hit the floor, when Identity reveals the killer.

Hindsight (probably my second or third watch for Identity. First time in a LONG time, but still) kills a lot of the shock value for me, but Identity earned a spot on my list of favorites. It’s an eerie and suspenseful mystery/thriller, featuring a series of genuinely shocking twists during the jaw-dropping finale, and you‘ll see the gruesome aftermath of unfortunate victims (i.e. Robert‘s mangled corpse with a baseball bat stuck in his throat…yikes).

Identity does a wonderful job of playing mind games with the audience during the constant finger-pointing in a deadly whodunit game of cat and mouse. The desolate motel in a fierce rainstorm is a perfect setting for the main characters, because it’s an isolated deathtrap, and this setting enhances feelings of desperation and claustrophobia. In the end, Identity is a must-see film, easily. As I said before, when it comes to the twists at the end, it’s an even split for which side of the fence you’ll be on. You’ll hate or love the reasons behind the revelations for the killer, but one thing’s for sure, it’s impossible to resist the urge to decipher, question, and analyze Identity’s memorable and thought-provoking finale.

Rating: 8/10
 
So if anyone remembers back in March, leading into the baseball season, I did a whole big review on my top ten favorite baseball movies in the spirit of the upcoming season. Well now we're nearing September, and baseball is nearing it's last few months. But what is coming up? That's right...it's football! Football season folks is almost here, and we are just six days away from it. Well actually just about five days if you count the Thursday night game which I do of course. So in the spirit of another great season of NFL Football, I am going to be doing the same thing I did with baseball, but only this time I'm going to be going over my top football movies, and why they are where they are.

First though if you remember from last time, before I did my top ten, I did a little prequel to it where I went over all the movies that didn't make the list. The reason they were there was because one I didn't see it, or two it wasn't good enough to make the list. Last time I talked about the ones I did see first, but this time I'm going to actually talk about the movies I didn't see.

5. Rudy (1993)

Somebody actually bought me the DVD of this movie for Christmas a few years ago, and it hasn't even been opened from the package. I'm not totally ignorant, I know what the story is, and I've heard about it many times. From some of the lists I read, I've seen this movie as number three, number two, and surprisingly more often at number one on their lists. I haven't seen it, but I have no interest to. It's not my type of movie, and if I did watch it I'm pretty damn sure it still wouldn't even come close to my top ten list. It's way too feel good of a movie for me, and I understand it was based on a true story and all, but the ending is stupid I'm sorry. Plus it doesn't even have that great of a cast in my opinion, but that's just me.


4. We Are Marshall (2006)

I'm not going to rag on this one as much as Rudy, but it's still another one I've never seen all of. I've watched bits and pieces of it, but it's actually a little boring in my opinion. It's a sad but very heartwarming story, but I haven't seen it all the way through, and even if I did it wouldn't make the list. If it wasn't for Matthew McConaughey it wouldn't even be much of a movie.

3. Gridiron Gang (2006)

Now this is actually a movie I can see myself watching in the future. I haven't gotten around to it yet, but if I saw it on TV or something I'd probably give it a chance. From what I know it's got a pretty decent/entertaining plot, and it's got The Rock starring in it too. And it seems like one of those cliche movies where all the kids end up becoming much better and reformed people, but I don't mind that I like that actually. Why not. This is a movie that I can see myself actually watching. Would it make the Top 10 if I did? Very unlikely, but it's above Rudy.

2. The Replacements (2000)

I've actually seen about a quarter of this movie. I saw it on TV or something, but never the whole way through. It's actually one I think I'm want to go back and see. Definitely not a bad movie. I at one time had Keanu Reeves pretty high on my list, but for some reason over the last couple of years I've actually...really grown to dislike Reeves. He just has the surfer boy sort of personality that never changes, and it's grown to be very annoying. However this movie is one of his better movies from what I've seen, and I'm going to have to go back and watch it again. This is one movie that I can say if I've seen it, it may have a good chance to land somewhere in the top ten.

1. Necessary Roughness (1991)

Last but not least is Necessary Roughness. It's been a movie I've been trying to find the time to watch for awhile, but yet I still haven't gotten around to it. The cast doesn't really have anyone stand out, but I do see Jason Bateman is a supporting character, and I freaking love Jason Bateman a ton. From what I hear it's pretty good. Would it make my top ten? I can't tell for sure, but it probably has a chance too. I'll get to this one eventually, and when I do maybe I'll give it a review.


Now onto the the list of movies that I have seen, but weren't just quite good enough to make the list. Some of these movies just missed the list by a little bit, and others never had a chance. But none the less let's get to it.

5. Radio (2003)

Radio is right up there with Rudy for me. Except I've seen Radio...twice. Both of them were shown by teachers when I was still in school. The first time I was a lot younger, and I liked it a lot less the first time around. The second time was just last year and it was my Senior year of High School. I could actually watch it that time, but still it's not my type of movie. A good story, and a true story, and I think Cuba Gooding Jr. does an excellent job in his role, as does Ed Harris, but it just isn't my type of movie. And while it does have football in it, it isn't the center piece of the film, but rather more of a secondary story. For that reason it is ranked lowest out of all the football movies I've seen, which really I'm being harsh on it I could probably rank it a little higher than a couple I'm about to name.

It's not a bad movie at all, but for a football list it just doesn't rank that high.

Rating: 6/10

4. The Longest Yard (1974 and 2005)

I'll start off by saying that from what I can gather, the 1974 version is way better than the 2005 version, but unfortunately I've only see the 2005 version, and it wasn't that great. At the time I was pretty high on Adam Sandler, but now I don't like him at all. The cast in the newer version isn't half bad though. Sandler, Chris Rock, Burt Reynolds returning. I mean for a pretty basic comedy that is. This movie would never make the top ten. The 1974 version is too old for me, and the 2005 version is just too mediocre. Bill Goldberg, Stone Cold, Kevin Nash, and The Great Khail also have roles in this film, so it does get a couple bonus points.

Rating: 5/10


3. The Game Plan (2007)

I actually liked this movie. And why not? Believe it or not I went and saw it in theaters when I was around twelve or thirteen years old. It was made by Disney yes, but hey it starred The Rock, and I thought the story was actually very well told, and entertaining. It was very light and not that intense, so it was easy to watch. The plot is more focused on Dwayne reconnecting with his young daughter, but football is a big center piece of the movie. This film would never ever make my top ten list, but it's sort of like football's version of Rookie of the Year or Little Big League as far as target audience goes as well as enjoyability.

Rating: 5.5/10


2. Wildcats (1986)

Ah Wildcats. It's been awhile since I've seen this one, but none the less I remember enjoying it. It's very different, because it's a woman (Goldie Hawn) who ends up taking over as the head coach for some inner city football team with a bunch of guys who really don't want to take orders. The sole fact that both Woody Harrelson and Wesley Snipes both have roles in it is enough for it to be ranked pretty high. It nearly made my list, but sadly it falls just a few short.

Rating: 6/10


1. The Blind Side

Ah. Last but not least we have The Blind Side. I actually had this film slotted in my top ten at number 7 believe it or not. But after thinking it over, not only did I move it out of seven, I dropped it off the list completely. But typing this I considered moving it back, but it's going to stay where it's at. It's a really good story, and it's a good film all together. One big reason why it's off the top ten is because while football is a pretty big focus, it's almost more focused on Oher's life all around and not just football. I'm not crazy about Sandry Bullock either, but Jae Head the little kid who plays SJ, I just love him. He's adorable in this film, and he actually played a pretty similar role as Bo Miller in the TV Show of Friday Night Lights in Season 2. However while it was a good movie, it was kind of rushed. To have a movie based around a rookie that was just coming into the NFL, I didn't like it. It really overrated him in a lot of people's eyes, and it was really sort of rushed as well. None the less...

Rating: 6/10


So those are the movies that didn't make the cut. Either because I never saw them, or they just weren't good enough. Sometime before Thursday I should be posting the final ten football movies on my list. What will be my number one on my list? You'll probably be surprised.
 
Top 10 Football Movies

Now it is finally time for you all to see what some guy on the internet thinks are the top ten best football movies ever created. Now let me first start this off by saying that some of these movies are really close. My top five movies are all so close that really any of them could be higher than they are. Now in my previous post I covered movies that didn't make it. Some got some honorable mentions like Wildcats and The Blind Side. While others just didn't make it because I haven't seen them, or because they weren't good enough. Or both. To recap a couple the only two that probably had a chance to bump a couple off of this top ten list were The Replacements and Necessary Roughness. I actually plan on watching The Replacements some time today. So anyway, it's time to get to the list.


10. The Water Boy (1998)

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I'll start off by saying this movie was very close to not making the list. Had I seen The Replacements before I made this list then it definitely wouldn't have made it. But the fact of the matter is it's pretty much a classic for football movie fans. Some might even say it's their favorite. For me it just made the list. I hate Adam Sandler movies where he acts like an idiot. They're annoying and awful. I know my Dad hates this movie for that reason. For me it's not as bad this time around. There are some good parts to this film though, and Henry Wrinkler plays a good role in here. The thing that makes this movie though is the lines. There is a lot of good quotes that can come from this movie, and it's the only reason why it makes the list.

Rating: 6/10


9. Friday Night Lights (2004)

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Next up is Friday Night Lights. This movie actually moved from not being on the list at all, to making it to #9. The Blind Side was originally in this spot but when I moved that off of that list, I had to move someone up. And I couldn't move The Water Boy any higher on the list. So it's FNL. I'll start by saying that the TV Show is ten times better than the movie, and honestly that's probably why this movie made the list. Billy Bob Thorton was disappointing in this role, and other than him the cast doesn't really have any standouts to me. It's still a good story about high school football in Texas, so it has to make the list. The TV show is way better, but this movie isn't awful.

Rating: 6/10


8. Little Giants (1994)

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Ah Little Giants. This movie is a classic. It's almost set the tone for so many sports movies targeted more towards families. Take Kicking and Screaming (2005) for example. That movie is pretty much a damn remake of Little Giants. Another movie that comes to mind that you've probably never heard of is Home Run Showdown (2012) with Matthew Lillard which also has a very similar plot, I think I mentioned that one on my baseball list. But Little Giants is a classic football movie. It's one that works for all ages, which for football movies is actually pretty rare. I have a soft spot for Rick Moranis, and who doesn't love Al Bundy? Only thing I hate about this movie is the girl with the lead role. She looks like Josh Hutcherson wearing a wig, and the whole I'm a girl who plays football thing is just overrated. But this movie is kind of the football version of the Bad News Bears in a way.

Rating: 6/10


7. Jerry Maguire (1996)

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Ah, Jerry Maguire. I was on the fence with this one because I really wasn't sure if it could really be considered a football movie or not, because Jerry is a sports agent who sort of deals with everything. But after going over it...yeah it's a football movie. And with that it's got to be on the list. It could probably go up to #6 even, but I'm going to leave it here at seven. Jerry Maguire is great. Tom Cruise is perfect as always, and Cuba Gooding Jr does a great job with his role too. I feel like a lot of NFL players are actually like that. Not to mention it actually uses real team names, and I'll get to that matter more in depth later. I also like Renée Zellweger in here too, I haven't seen her in many other films other than maybe Big Daddy, and this is one of her best roles in my opinion. Good story, and there really aren't many other sports agent films out there if any so it's pretty unique as well.

Rating: 7/10


6. Draft Day (2014)

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I actually went and saw this one back in April, and wanted to come on here and give it a full review but I never got the chance. I will say though that it's a great movie. As you can tell it's already jumped to #6 on my list. One thing I loved about this movie is not only does it use real team names, but they talk about players, they talk about things that just happened in the NFL last year. It's all so realistic it's almost like it's a movie right on the real NFL with real players as the cast. Really the only fictional characters are the main ones and most of the Browns players. There are so many real life cameous of players, analysts, Roger Goodell. That was what made this movie so great, not to mention it was just flat out entertaining. This movie is up there with Moneyball because it's almost the same concept, except Moneyball is based on a true story. By that I mean the main character is a GM, which for sports movies we haven't seen a lot of. So we get to see a lot of the behind the scenes stuff in this film. Also Dennis Leary plays a pretty big part on this movie, but I'm going to admit I love him, but I didn't even recognize him till the credits rolled down! He looked so different. The only thing with this movie is that there isn't actually much football in it other than highlights and clips. It takes place in the offseason.

Rating: 7/10


5. Varsity Blues (1999)


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Now we're getting deep down into the list. Varsity Blues had the potential to be anywhere from this spot here, to number two on this list. The rest of them are all really that close, and it's actually been a good while since I've seen Varsity Blues, so if I rewatched it again I may have even moved it up. But for now it's going to remain at number five. Jon Voight cracks me the hell up in this movie. He is as gross as can be, and I love it. Bud Kilmer is such an infamous character in the history of sports movies. He is what makes this film really. Everyone else in this one is so-so. The late Paul Walker does a pretty good job in his role, but I'm not a huge James Van Der Beek fan. I will say though that Billy Bob might be the second best character in this movie after Bud Kilmer. There are a lot of quotable lines in this movie too.

Rating: 7/10


4. Invincible (2006)


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Another Disney film. Disney sure does make good football movies. I'll tell you I am a huge Marky Mark fan. I admittedly have a man crush on him. I have to see all his movies. I have no clue why, he's nowhere near the top of my actor list, but there's something about him. It's a man crush. Anyway this movie is great. It deserves to be number four on my list. Wahlberg is great in it, and it's based on a true story with real teams in it. It's pretty much like football's version of The Rookie. The only difference is Jim Morris played minor league baseball at least. Vince Papale didn't even play football in college, so I personally think his story shows a lot more. When it comes to football films this one is one of the bests, and that's all I have to say.

Rating: 7.5/10


3. Remember The Titans (2000)


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This movie is one that could have gone anywhere from number five on my list to number two, but it's final resting spot is at number three. Another Disney one, Remember The Titans. I'll start off by saying the biggest and only con to this film is that it is made by Disney...it's one of those feel good, let's all get along type of films. But that's OK, because it's a damn good film. Denzel Washington is at his absolute best, and he plays the role of a head coach very well (see Coach Carter). But there are so many great characters and roles in this movie that's its hard to pick out just one. A lot of times in movies when they have so many sub stories for every single character it gets out of hand or even boring, like Major League in my opinion. But this movie does it well. Each character has a story.

Rating: 8/10


2. The Program (1993)


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The Program. This movie had the potential to be number one on the list. It's pretty damn close. It's by far the best college football movie out there. There are so many great aspects to this movie, so many great lines, and a variety of interesting characters to follow. It's really satire on the entire college football program, especially for it's time. With steroid use, sweeping things under the rug, etc. I think I actually like QB Joe Kane the least out of all the characters to be honest because he's the most bland, but it's actually been a couple years since I've seen this one. One of my favorite scenes is when the coach makes the one player carry around the football after fumbling it too many times, so one of the players ends up knocking it off his desk in class and they all jump on it. It's great.

One of my favorite lines is "We'll tell them you pulled a hamstring". It's great, I use that often when talking about pro sports, more often with baseball actually. Like when a pitcher ends up getting a mysterious injury that lands him on the DL for 15 days, I always say that because we know most of the time those injuries are bogus.

Rating: 8.5/10


1. Any Given Sunday (1990)

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For the moment you've all been waiting for, the number one football movie in the opinion of someone you don't even know on some internet wrestling forum...Any Given Sunday. First of all let me start off by saying that if they were able to use real NFL teams in the movie instead of the fake league that the ended up having to use, then no other movie would even come nearly as close for me on this list. With that being said this movie is by far one of my personal favorites when it comes to movies in general, not just football.

Let me start off with the cast. It's got just such a loaded cast. Al Pacino as head coach Tony D'Amato. Dennis Quaid as the veteran QB who gets hurt. Cameron Diaz as the young gross owner (and let me go on the record saying she is one of the hottest actresses there is). James Woods as the real gross team trainer who shoots the players up with needles to keep them playing on the field, and Matthew Modine as his intern. Even John C McGinley who just about shows up in everything. Then not to mention the very underrated Jamie Foxx, who does an excellent job in the role he had with this film. The character he plays very well represents a lot of young rookie QBs in the league today in my opinion. Add on all fact that guys like Lawrence Taylor and Jim Brown who play fictional roles themselves as a defensive player and defensive coordinator respectfully. The cast makes this film so great.

But don't get me wrong, I love the story too. It's almost got a mix of every sports film storyline in it at once. Starting QB gets hurt, and a rookie comes in and lights things up. Players are getting injections to keep their injuries sustained while they can play. The female owner gets all nasty. But despite that they make their story so unique, and so entertaining that you hardly notice any similarities with it and any other film.

This one is a classic. I always have to watch it prior to the NFL season starting up just to get me in the mood. It deserves to be number one on my all time list of football movies.

Rating: 9/10
 
Cooties (2015)

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So whenever I first heard of the plot and cast for this movie back during production and filming, I was excited. It was slated for a 2014 release date, but then I never heard about it for months. They showed it at a film festival sometime in 2014, and once again it was forgotten. Finally, they released it back in September of 2015.

For whatever reason, I was just so excited for this film. Elijah Wood, Rainn Wilson, a couple other decent names. But boy was I horribly wrong, this movie is awful. In the 40 minutes I watched it before I had to turn it off (and for the record I rarely ever turn movies off halfway through) I couldn't tell if this movie was legit or if it was straight up going to for the "Scary Movie" type of parody style.

Cooties is about a group of teachers who are trapped in a school while an infection spreads among the children, turning them into rabid flesh eating zombie sorts of things. The writing is just so...so awful. All the way around. The jokes aren't funny, they just want to make you cringe. I mean I was amazed at the audacity this movie had to even try some of the lines it did. Not that they were offensive to me, it's just I couldn't believe they actually said some of them. And yet it wasn't funny, it just was forced desperate humor.

The children are some of the most unlikeable characters of them all. They all act like little brats who drop the "F Bomb" in every sentence and disrespect all of the teachers. This movie could have been so much better if the children were actually realistic. Or even if they made them way off on the other side of the spectrum. The children being super good and cute and polite before turning into vicious zombies would have been a great then and now transition. But instead they make them all unlikeable little douchebags from the start.

The characters are just so bad and poorly done. And it isn't because of bad acting...I mean the acting is bad, but it's mostly because of the writing. If I had to compare the writing and acting to something...like a genre or a target audience, I couldn't. If anything it is probably on the level of a commercial. The acting and writing is on the same level as something you would see in a Geico commercial.

Then we have the fat guy from Lost who's eating shrooms the entire movie in his van.

The one thing I liked, at the beginning of the movie the principal makes the main character and substitute teacher hand over his cellphone. He said "if we're going to tell the kids they can't have them, teachers can't either". This was a smart way to put the characters in a situation where they can't easily reach help. Not like that even mattered though because one character had a "rape button" on her clothes anyway that could get a police response in two minutes.

This movie is just all sorts of awful. I had high hopes for it, but those went down the toilet during the first five minutes. I'm not going to give it an official rating considering I didn't watch it the whole way through, but if I did it would probably be somewhere around 2.5 to 3.
 

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