Harthan Reviews Royal Rumble 2013 (January 27th 2013)
World Heavyweight Championship - Alberto del Rio (c) vs the Big Show
Pretty good match. Del Rio and Show have loads of chemistry together. Del Rio's kicks are an excellent staple of his offense, and I really like him working in some high flying offense. It'd be better if his ranas and sentons were a little cleaner, but it doesn't help that he's having to hit them on a giant. As it stands, they're good additions to what he does. Meanwhile, I love Show's strikes and the two of them play of one another really well for a high impact striking match. They both sold each others offense beautifully and engineered a number of really fun spots. It's not easy to have the exact same match type twice inside of a month and make it different, but still good. Their first match was better, I think, but the work they did on the entrance stage was very good, ending with the huge table spot. It kind of sputtered toward the end, unfortunately, as it became obvious they couldn't figure out a good finish to it. The duct tape was a terrible finish that I hated when Cena and Batista did it, and like it just as little now. Still, the match was really solid for most of its time, and got the show started off right. ***1/2
WWE Tag Team Championship - Team Hell No (c) vs Rhodes Scholars
A decent but unspectacular match. Nothing that couldn't have been on Raw. They followed the formula, and had enough time and talent to make it worth seeing. Still, it never really got out of second gear and didn't have much memorable. It's not really the kind of match you're likely to remember, but it filled out the card more than adequately.
**1/2
Royal Rumble Match
I have mixed feelings here. I though the first half was brilliantly done. Every elimination was perfect, done by the right person at the right time for the right reasons. Jericho's return and performance was phenomenal, and Ziggler really tied this match together by being everywhere and making everyone look good. You could almost feel the match decline when Godfather had his little abortion of an appearance. It slowed everything down, and it never really recovered. I'm not saying that killed it, it's just that it seemed to mark the decline. Cena was way too understated in this match if he was going to win - he was barely noticeable until the very end of the match, except for an unspectacular toss out of Antonio Cesaro that didn't get them anywhere close to where they needed to be. Orton, Sheamus, Ryback, Jericho, and Ziggler all had fantastic performances - why didn't they bother selling Cena like that? It was lazy, and makes his win feel boring. The final six had loads of potential and I feel like they really shit the bed with it with an unimaginative final stretch. Having everyone hit finishers only to be eliminated? Let's do that for literally four of the final six. The Ryback vs Cena mini battle at the end was too short, although Cena's STF to Ryback was a pretty great highlight. It really fell short of last year's amazing final two showdown between Sheamus and Jericho, though. A pretty solid first half with a mediocre finish does not a great Rumble make.
***
WWE Championship - CM Punk (c) vs the Rock
Where do I even start? The horrifying slow pace that was the result of Rock's age, shape, and lack of particularly strong in ring capabilities? Rock's inability to pursue the simplest possible offense of working over Punk's knee? The blown spot on the outside that literally induced a groan from me? This match was not good. Everytime Punk hit some offense, he stood around for twenty seconds and waited. I can only assume it's because Rock couldn't keep up. The Rock's offense was weak - none of his strikes looked good, his submission work was sloppy. Punk wasn't able to really do what he does best, which is string together offense and engage in great back and forth countering. As such, he didn't look great either, though he did his best to drag a match of Rock. I have some hope for the inevitable Cena/Rock match, though, both because the hype will be greater and Cena is really good at making other people look good. His offense works so much better with what Rock does, or needs to do - Cena can do the "big move then wait" thing really well. Punk just doesn't do that, or at least, he can't lead it, and Rock obviously can't. The table spot on the outside was a huge waste of time that really took me out of the match - I don't know if it was supposed to happen like that, but I can only hope it was just a dumb mistake. Ultimately, it was slow, plodding, and unengaging. As if that wasn't enough, the horrific finish was just mind numbingly bad. Shield interference we can't see, restarted match, and Super Rock wins with a People's Elbow. Christ. A clean win with a Rock Bottom would have been miles better than that. Not good at all, but at least Punk is done with it and can move on to better things, while Rock vs Cena II will probably be really good still. **