LSN80

Thread is up in the CL on whether an open marriage can work. If you want to weigh in informally, do it here. The responses so far have been great, but I want to hear from more people as to whether someone could be truly emotionally attached to someone, and still make their marriage/relationship work while having sex with another person.

http://forums.wrestlezone.com/showthread.php?t=173967
 
LSN80 said:
I have to run out back to my office, but Ill be home by 8 at latest. Ill gladly respond, Ive just been swamped, and youre not the only one I havent gotten back to. I will for sure when I get home brother. :)
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Oh, it's not a big deal at all, I just figured if I didn't bust your balls a little bit, then nobody would!
 
Friendly Neighborhood JGlass said:
Still waiting to hear about what you thought of Midnight in Paris...
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I need to check my own thread more often! Ill run it down quickly!

I like the question that's essentially asked of Gil Prender in "Do you think it's possible to love two women at the same time?" I know that's not groundbreaking for a Woody Allen film, but this felt different. I told you in advance I was skeptical of any movie with Owen Wilson as the lead, but he was perfect here, and showed a range I haven't seen from him before. The existential questions of ever truly finding the ability to be content in one's own life and searching for more, and what happens if someone truly gets there, and if that is truly fulfilling.

It was a different movie, but still one that had me engrossed. i was waiting for a reveal that Wilson was sufferring from some kind of psychosis or the like, and I was pleasantly surprised when they didn't go there. I liked both the discovery of Adrianna's diary, and how it seemingly progressed after she met Gil, but despite getting wrapped up into his "ideal" life at midnight, he made the decision to "accept" the present. I loved the twist on his being utterly unaware of what was going on in the present because he was so stuck in the past, which as a therapist, resonated with me on several levels. Even in his book, it was as if he was unaware he was writing about himself, his relationship, and its developments, and was only made aware of them by Gertrude Stein.

I liked the fact that Gil was 100% Woody Allen, and dare I say, I felt Wilson did as good of a job of portraying him then anyone else has before. It was through those midnight journies that challenged how he believed he'ld react and act in certain situations, and even how he spurned that idealism at the end to face reality in the here and now.

It truly felt like a magical movie, yet with just the right touch of realism.Owen Wilson worked awfully hard in pulling both off. The overarching films of the movie were all things I appreciate, attempting to understand one's human nature, the delusions of nostalgia, and hope for a present that brings love and inspiration, all mixed with just the right amount of comedy. It's as close to a perfect film as Ive seen in years.

I think everyone has that idealism of how life should be or a period of time they appreciate or picture as being magical, some from our own pasts, and this movie brought that to life in a profound way. It was much lighter faire then the Ledge, but it asked some of the same questions. Im not sure about you, but I left the theatre smiling, and so did my wife. My wife loved it simply for the cinematography, the sites, and the romance, but she really enjoyed it as well. Definitely a must-see, and Owen Wilson proved me wrong here.
 
All terrific points, LSN, and I loved your psychological insight to Owen Wilson's condition of figuratively living in the past in his mind and then actually getting the chance to live in the past.

I thought this movie was a great example of magical realism, a concept that I had trouble comprehending before I watched this movie. Before this movie came out, Pan's Labyrinth was really the only solid example of magical realism that I could find, and while that's a very good, very enjoyable film, I think Midnight in Paris blows it out of the water. They're hard to compare, but Midnight in Paris is more enjoyable and watching it was a more enriching experience.
 
What up pimp juice? Yo, have you ever been to a wedding at the PGH zoo? If so, what should I expect? I mean, are we gonna walk around and look at fucking animals, or do they have like a reception hall and shit? I don't know, I hope it'll be fun. It's for one of my old fraternity brothers.

Second question. The guy is a pretty good friend, however, he's been married once before, so this is the second wedding I'll be at of his. Now, I gave him $100 the first time and he got divorced only a year later. So, being that money is always tight, is it wrong for me to only give him $60 this time? I mean, I'm not bringing a guest, so it's not like he's paying for two ppl. I'd really appreciate your advice here, brah.
 
What up pimp juice? Yo, have you ever been to a wedding at the PGH zoo? If so, what should I expect? I mean, are we gonna walk around and look at fucking animals, or do they have like a reception hall and shit? I don't know, I hope it'll be fun. It's for one of my old fraternity brothers.

Second question. The guy is a pretty good friend, however, he's been married once before, so this is the second wedding I'll be at of his. Now, I gave him $100 the first time and he got divorced only a year later. So, being that money is always tight, is it wrong for me to only give him $60 this time? I mean, I'm not bringing a guest, so it's not like he's paying for two ppl. I'd really appreciate your advice here, brah.
 
HHHeartbreak Kid said:
What up pimp juice? Yo, have you ever been to a wedding at the PGH zoo? If so, what should I expect? I mean, are we gonna walk around and look at fucking animals, or do they have like a reception hall and shit? I don't know, I hope it'll be fun. It's for one of my old fraternity brothers.
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They do actually, and I have been to one there actually! They have a reception hall, but I won't spoil the cool part of it. Dress nice, but expect to sweat like a mother! Other then how cool the reception area was, the thing I remember most was how freaking hot it was in there. I thought having it at the zoo turned out to be a cool idea, and it fit them, so it was chill. Where are they having the reception at?

Second question. The guy is a pretty good friend, however, he's been married once before, so this is the second wedding I'll be at of his. Now, I gave him $100 the first time and he got divorced only a year later. So, being that money is always tight, is it wrong for me to only give him $60 this time? I mean, I'm not bringing a guest, so it's not like he's paying for two ppl. I'd really appreciate your advice here, brah
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.

Been there as well. I was the best man twice for my best friend, and it was completely based on where I was at income wise at the time. I was still in college, so I bought literally the cheapest thing on their registry, and I was the Best Man! When he got re-married, I was in alot better position financially, so I could do alot more. Do they have a registry of any kind? Unless they'ld prefer money, Id look for something on the registry for around $60, and get them that. You have to do what you can afford, and if he's a good friend, he'll understand and won't begrudge you for it. First thought is to check the registry for something around 60, and if that can be done, just give them what you can afford, and dont feel guilty if it's less then before.
 
LSN80 said:
They do actually, and I have been to one there actually! They have a reception hall, but I won't spoil the cool part of it. Dress nice, but expect to sweat like a mother! Other then how cool the reception area was, the thing I remember most was how freaking hot it was in there. I thought having it at the zoo turned out to be a cool idea, and it fit them, so it was chill. Where are they having the reception at?

.

Been there as well. I was the best man twice for my best friend, and it was completely based on where I was at income wise at the time. I was still in college, so I bought literally the cheapest thing on their registry, and I was the Best Man! When he got re-married, I was in alot better position financially, so I could do alot more. Do they have a registry of any kind? Unless they'ld prefer money, Id look for something on the registry for around $60, and get them that. You have to do what you can afford, and if he's a good friend, he'll understand and won't begrudge you for it. First thought is to check the registry for something around 60, and if that can be done, just give them what you can afford, and dont feel guilty if it's less then before.
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The reception is at the zoo as well. I'm actually looking forward to it more now that I know you thought it was a pretty sweet deal.

I never even think about looking at the registry. Honestly, unless it's for something I'm really looking forward to buying for myself, I despise shopping. Selfish, I know, but certainly true. It's a little late for grabbing something on the internet at this point. I do fairly well, so it's not like I couldn't part with the money, but I've given five monetary gifts to friends that have all been divorced not more than 3 years later. Unfortunately, I think that number is going to grow very soon. I honestly LOVE being generous for my friend's weddings, but I think after I've done it once, I'm not gonna piss my hard earned money down the drain a second time. I was thinking, maybe I don't give them quite as much for the wedding, but if the marriage is still going really well, I'll give them a nice first anniversarry gift.

Thanks for the advice dude. I'll certainly let you know what I think of the "zoo wedding".
 
HHHeartbreak Kid said:
The reception is at the zoo as well. I'm actually looking forward to it more now that I know you thought it was a pretty sweet deal.
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I had a "What the eff?" reaction when I heard about it myself, but I was pleasantly surprised. It was probably the most fun Ive had at a wedding that I can remember!

I never even think about looking at the registry. Honestly, unless it's for something I'm really looking forward to buying for myself, I despise shopping. Selfish, I know, but certainly true.
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I think thats the same way most of us our. I like shopping actually if Im doing so for myself, but even if its for my wife, Ill just badger her to tell me what the hell she wants until she gives in and tells me!
It's a little late for grabbing something on the internet at this point. I do fairly well, so it's not like I couldn't part with the money, but I've given five monetary gifts to friends that have all been divorced not more than 3 years later. Unfortunately, I think that number is going to grow very soon. I honestly LOVE being generous for my friend's weddings, but I think after I've done it once, I'm not gonna piss my hard earned money down the drain a second time. I was thinking, maybe I don't give them quite as much for the wedding, but if the marriage is still going really well, I'll give them a nice first anniversarry gift.
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This is an understandable position to take! I joke all the time with my friends before they ask me to be in their wedding that Im 0 for the century when it comes to success rate of me being in weddings and the marriaage actually lasting! Of the 6 or 7 weddings Ive been in, only one of them has stayed together. Ive got two more friends getting married this summer, one Im going to have to miss because its in Philly and my wife can't travel right now.

But I think you have it right. I like being generous towards others as well, and do ok for myself. Don't look at it as pissing money down the drain, rather look at it as doing something nice for them in the moment. But I like the idea of doing something small now, and something more later depending on how things are going.
Thanks for the advice dude. I'll certainly let you know what I think of the "zoo wedding".
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Knowing you, and that youre alot like me, you'll enjoy the heck out of it. I look forward to hearing about it bro!
 
Dude, I was going to send you a PM but real life matters got in the way. If you feel like it, get one sent to me.

Looking forward to hearing from you.
 
So over ther fourth of July weekend, my wife, her best friend, and her husband and I went out celebrating. Mind you, this was the first time Ive had a drink in oh, 2 years?

We were celebrating a number of things, but mostly the holiday and my wife's health improving greatly. Anyway, ther bar we were at is a pretty popular one for people in my area, and I generally run into people I know all the time. After 2 hours of straight drinking, in walks my ex-fiancee, who is possibly the only person in the world my wife despises.

She started making small talk, and at some point, my wife tuned her out. She mentioned she was going on vacation this weekend, and she needed someone to watch her dog, which happens to be the sister of my dog. I said as long as it was ok with my wife, Id be happy to. My wife mumbled something along the lines of "sure whatever", and we agreed.

Anyway, I got home from work today, and my wife was fuming. Apparently my ex had called the house just to confirm the time she was dropping the dog off. My wife has no recollection of agreeing that the dog could stay with us, and was even more pissed that my ex was coming over to our house. Apparently she had something big planned for us to do this weekend, and watching the dog would get in the way of that. But I had already confirmed the time, which is like 2 hours from now, so its not like she would have time to take her to a kennel. But my wife told me if I didnt cancel on her, shes going to a hotel for the weekend. I told her to go then, because I wasn't going back on my word, but I feel slightly dickish because I feel like Im choosing my ex over my wife. Could I have handled this better? :shrug:
 
Yeah. You shouldn't have offered to do something like that for your ex in the first place.
 
Hmmm, That's a tough one bro. I mean "technically" your wife agreed, even if she doesn't remember. Just because she doesn't remember though, doesn't mean that you back out on your word at the last minute. That doesn't sound like something you'd do to someone. It'd be a total dick move to tell her that you couldn't watch the dog at this point. I'm guessing your wife will cool down after a bit and forget about that hotel nonsense. I'm sure she's a reasonable enough woman. I'd say you did the right thing.
 
Smooth Sexual Chocolate said:
Not that big of a deal, a bit of an overreaction on her part; but that's to be expected from the opposite gender.
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Its just an unexpected reaction from her. If it was any other woman, I think she wouldnt have cared, but my wife views her as a user because she(my ex-fiancee) has never paid me back 3 grand I gave her 3 years ago to get her out of a bad situation. If anyones to blame there, its me, for not asking she pay me back as she could, and not consulting my wife in advance. So I think thats part of where this is coming from, and part that she doesn't remember agreeing, and made plans for us to go away and was going to suprise me.

HHHeartbreak Kid said:
Hmmm, That's a tough one bro. I mean "technically" your wife agreed, even if she doesn't remember. Just because she doesn't remember though, doesn't mean that you back out on your word at the last minute. That doesn't sound like something you'd do to someone. It'd be a total dick move to tell her that you couldn't watch the dog at this point. I'm guessing your wife will cool down after a bit and forget about that hotel nonsense. I'm sure she's a reasonable enough woman. I'd say you did the right thing.
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And that's the thing. My wife gives me alot of leeway in what I do and who I spend my time with because she trusts me completely. She's let female friends of mine from college and grad school stay with us for a night or two on several occasions when they were in town, and insisted when I hesitated to say yes. That leads me to think that she truly doesn't remember what was "agreed upon", because she was very drunk. But because of that unwavering trust she gives me, I try and make sure that I never do anything to break it. She's generally more then reasonable, I couldn't ask for a more laid back gal. I just want to make sure I dont screw my friend over by going back on my word. I guess where I feel bad is that my wife is pissed, because it takes a helluva lot to do so. I think she'll back down on the hotel thing, but Im not looking forward to my ex showing up at my door with my wife here, even if I did do the right thing.
 
Your doing the right thing by not intentionally screwing your ex over. You chose your wife over your ex, your wife already won that battle, and it's not like you went out of your way to try and watch your ex's dog.

She'll cool off, they always do. You yourself did absolutely nothing wrong, especially since she was there when it was agreed upon. As someone who indulges in the finer things on an overly consistent basis, I always make a point to never blame the substance for my short comings.
 
Put the dog up in a kennel and then go track your wife down, ya big doofus. Get the dog back before your ex gets back to town and she'll never have to know that the dog wasn't at your place all weekend.
 
Smooth Sexual Chocolate said:
Your doing the right thing by not intentionally screwing your ex over. You chose your wife over your ex, your wife already won that battle, and it's not like you went out of your way to try and watch your ex's dog.

She'll cool off, they always do. You yourself did absolutely nothing wrong, especially since she was there when it was agreed upon. As someone who indulges in the finer things on an overly consistent basis, I always make a point to never blame the substance for my short comings.
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I honestly never considered this, and its something I should probably remind her of, even if I have to throw it in her face two or three times. :) It was certainly a spur of the moment situation, and awkward one, and I admittedly have a hard time saying no to people.

She's cooled off at this point, but shes insisting shes staying upstairs when my ex shows up, because she doesn't want to have to even see her. I can concede that, and that they're not going to get along. And as someone who used to indulge on the finer things in life on a regular basis when I was younger, and greatly enjoyed the visit down memory lane this weekend, Im not blaming that for this, or my wife for not remembering. Hell, I don't remember where my top shirt disapeared to halfway through the night!

Classy JGlassy said:
Put the dog up in a kennel and then go track your wife down, ya big doofus. Get the dog back before your ex gets back to town and she'll never have to know that the dog wasn't at your place all weekend.
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One of the biggest reasons shes not putting her dog up in a kennel is because she doesn't want to/can't afford to spend the money. Why would I then turn around and spend my own money on putting the dog in a kennel? It just sucks because she wanted to go to a Pirates game tonight, stay overnight in the city, and then go here tomorrow afternoon.

http://www.pittsburghclo.org/shows/...n=LCEAdWords&gclid=CNKYp97e8qkCFUqM5godpWTeYw

I wish she would have told me this, like you know, before an hour ago....
 
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