This has to be one of the absolute worst shows of Raw I've seen in a looong time.
Wrestlemania Rewind...billed as "every match from a previous Wrestlemania"...the goal is to make me reminisce about some of their best matches in hopes that they might be able to do it again.
What the hell are we getting?
We get Undertaker/Mark Henry, which is pathetic because as soon as they announced it, you knew Undertaker would win with that new chokehold.
We get Finlay beating the shit out of Kennedy with a 10 second disqualification. Way to make Kennedy look even worse. Oh yeah, and what Wrestlemania was this from? Right.
Jeff Hardy vs Chris Jericho. Non-Wrestlemania match. Sloppy. Jericho seemed off his game and slow, Hardy is being booed because of how they booked him to look like a heel at the Highlight Reel segment last time. Great job, WWE, "nobody is hotter than Jeff Hardy right now, until we decide to derail that." I'll give them credit that, for the first 5 minutes, I didn't think Jericho would win, so I was slightly surprised at first, but they're putting a dent in Hardy's push.
Triple H vs Kane. Ok, they score points for it being a Wrestlemania rematch. Do we care? Do we honestly believe Kane can win? Nope, but apparently HHH can win with a HORRIBLY botched Pedigree.
The U.S. Express/Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff match. Oh wait, there wasn't a match. Jillian sang and they walked away. I'm glad I could see that..rematch?
Melina vs....oh, wait, Maria. Bore me enough with the women's matches, then give me another thing that isn't a rematch (not that Ashley is anything great).
Let's run a promo for Wrestlemania. Let's run 100. Let's run the Make a Wish promo...and the Carlito/Maria ad, twice...and 12 times show footage of shit that previously happened (that we've seen 30 times by now)...and another promo...and look, a promo....anybody want another promo, because you got it....let's have more talking, right after this promo...
Mayweather/Big Show. I wonder if there are any new developments. Is he still going to "break his jaw this time"? Oooh the tingles! I just get so psyched hearing the same garbage over and over again for a match well beyond the suspension of disbelief level! The only thing good about this weigh-in was that the fans booed the hell out of Mayweather.
Edge and CM Punk...finally a "decent, but nothing to write home about" match. The ending fit, as Edge went over but Punk didn't look too, too weak in the process.
Oh look, we just saw Umaga and Batista "go at it" in a boring segment. I still don't care.
Look at this! A promo! I've only spent 2 hours so far watching promos, I could stand to watch another. By the way, why don't I just watch the repetitive commercials that the local USA network is cramming down my throat. Granted, the WWE has no control over that, but I'm tired of seeing ads for only this "Eight Below" film, the same 3 videogames, that fucking Taco Bell ad, Esurance, and speak of the devil, the Axe bullet commercial with the weird looking dude in a speedo...because I really wanted to see that.
Add in the two blackouts I got along with the green-out. Mix it in with some horrible camerawork from a guy on the commentator's side that doesn't understand "film the guys, don't just juggle your camera up and down".
Cena and HBK. It still won't convince me that Cena is even in the same ballpark as HBK. If Michaels is a buffet, Cena is leftover scraps you find whilst rummaging through a dumpster.
So what have we learned for today?
1. WWE this year around cares much more about celebrity involvement than wrestling for Wrestlemania.
2. If you have the ability to be thrown into the main event, they don't want you to succeed. Look at the way Jericho's been treated along with Jeff Hardy, Kennedy, Shelton, Morrison, and CM Punk. I guess Hornswoggle is more important than any of these guys.
3. Melina is not just another ODB. (Note: This is the only time you'll hear me support TNA, as I hate the product and I think if you salvaged what you could, you'd end up sending maybe 10 wrestlers to the WWE along with some folding chairs and that's it.)
4. They just won't give up on trying to get Cena as a babyface. Apparently they'll beat it into our skulls that he "magically overcame the odds and put his career on the line to come back at the Royal Rumble for just one more chance to headline CelebrityMania." Instead of turning him heel and seeing what would happen, and then if it doesn't work, turning him back, they'd rather just rinse and repeat and hope the audience cracks down and stops caring enough to boo.
5. Michaels can still do a perfect moonsault even when he's exhausted.
