Let's talk about the Friend Zone.

[Барбоса]

And so we get to the issue at hand: dealing with the flaws.

How many of the men who claim to be in the friendzone actually are willing to deal with the flaws that make them unattractive to heir "friend"? Because to me, he friend zone is a convenient excuse to not face what might make you unappealing in the first place

You make it sound like all flaws are fixable.

It also overlooks that some times those "flaws" that make an individual unattractive are not really flaws at all.

Again, though, such reasons likely make the girl less desirable anyway.

 

[JGlass]

My position on the Friend Zone is the same as it's been ever since I lost my virginity: it doesn't exist.

 

[Con T.]

It also overlooks that some times those "flaws" that make an individual unattractive are not really flaws at all.

Again, though, such reasons likely make the girl less desirable anyway.

Well, there is that; but that puts all the lame, where there shouldn't be blame at all

 

[Барбоса]

My position on the Friend Zone is the same as it's been ever since I lost my virginity: it doesn't exist.

I think the Friend Zone does exist but only in the mind of the guy.

He likes her while she has likely never thought of him that way because he is too shy to articulate his feelings. That is as far as the "Friend Zone" goes.

If she knows of his affection and rejects it, then in my opinion that is something different.

 

[Gelgarin]

I've never once heard a woman complain about this kind of thing.

 

[Dirk]

I've never once heard a woman complain about this kind of thing.

Maybe we should try to get one of the girls to comment on this?

 

[Remix]

I've never once heard a woman complain about this kind of thing.

I would assume they do as I doubt women are less pathetic than men. However it's possible I'm wrong as women have problems that men don't (namely everyday sexism) which take priority over the friend zone due to them actually being something worth complaining about.

 

[Con T.]

I've never once heard a woman complain about this kind of thing.

That's because there's no such thing as "too nice" a girl

 

[Uncle Phatso]

Females are bitches, we all know this.

 

[The Crock]

The friend zone is some bullshit that the dude who didn't have the balls to make a move -- or the social abilities to recognize that the woman isn't interested -- created to make himself feel better. I mean, I'm sure there's exceptions to it -- but it doesn't exist, for the most part.

EDIT: This isn't to say that some men/women aren't just a better fit to be friends than in a relationship, though. That's a factor too -- some people are better off as friends.

 

[Whap Me Jungles]

Aye; and lowering your standards probably won't help?

I've already lowered my standards by quite a bit. This isn't "think with an open mind and squint a bit" ugly, it's "rather shove your dick in a dead pig's arse" ugly.

 

[Tastycles]

I think it generally boils down to four types of people:

a) People who get friend zoned all the time, because they are not *****.
b) People that never get friend zoned, because they are *****.
c) People who get friend zoned all the time, then wait until the girl gets a boyfriend and at that point leave the zone and sleep with them, because that's the sort of ***** they are.
d) People who appreciate that there is no such thing as a friend zone, and people should be able to read chemistry and natural signs off their prospective lovers.

 

[Lowdown]

To be fair, let's differentiate a bit. If you're a guy that's just out to get ass, then the friend zone doesn't really exist, unless you and a chick are fuck buddies (I hate the term "friends with benefits"). A woman will let you know off the bat if she digs you or not, and if she doesn't then move on. Now if you're trying to establish or develop a long lasting relationship, it gets trickier. Sometimes you want to have a base friendship in the beginning, but let's face it, chances are if you already had sex with her and the experience wasn't good, you might not want it to go further. Sex is key to men; it a compatibility factor. Besides that, what's another common denominator? I know that most women I actually had a relationship with didn't really share a lot of my interests, like football. But there's other things to get into. But from the start, whether it's just sex you're looking for our a long lasting partner, read her body language. If she really digs you, there won't be much of a challenge.

 

[Coco]

If you're bitching about the "friend zone," odds are you're not ready for a real relationship.

The end.

 

[Con T.]

If you're bitching about the "friend zone," odds are you're not ready for a real relationship.

The end.

Such wise words from a young man.

 

[jmt225]

"Friendzone" is high school bullshit. If you're in your 20's and older and bitching about being stuck in a woman's "friendzone," then you have some serious issues.

 

[Nate DaMac]

It's kind of an oxymoron to me. How can you be friends with a woman?

 

[It's...Baylariat!]

"Friendzone" is high school bullshit. If you're in your 20's and older and bitching about being stuck in a women's "friendzone," then you have some serious issues.

If you're bitching about the "friend zone," odds are you're not ready for a real relationship.

The end.

The friend zone is some bullshit that the dude who didn't have the balls to make a move -- or the social abilities to recognize that the woman isn't interested -- created to make himself feel better. I mean, I'm sure there's exceptions to it -- but it doesn't exist, for the most part.

EDIT: This isn't to say that some men/women aren't just a better fit to be friends than in a relationship, though. That's a factor too -- some people are better off as friends.

It's kind of an oxymoron to me. How can you be friends with a woman?

All these quotes are gold.

And a simple way to avoid the 'friend zone'? Don't be friends with a girl you want to have sex with. Being her 'go to' guy makes you pathetic. And girls know if you have an ulterior motive and will torture you if you let them.

To me though, Friend Zone = not man enough to be in a relationship.

 

[Lee]

The I like you as a friend thing is a nice way of saying, look you're cool but I'm not attracted to you.

We all have female friends who we think are cool but wouldn't go out with.

 

[Dirk]

We all have female friends who we think are cool but wouldn't go out with.

I don't know about this, for two reasons:

1)"We all have female friends"
I don't think I have a single, close, straight female friend.
2) "but wouldn't go out with."
Meh, one date couldn't hurt...

 

[Lee]

I have a fair few female friends and some I would go with but some I wouldn't.

 

[Барбоса]

I have a fair few female friends and some I would go with but some I wouldn't.

Same here.

Although I suppose it depends on what definition of "friend" you are using.

 

[Miko]

I was a pretty permanent resident of the friend zone in high school, but women really DO like it when you have an edge.

I'm no Johnny Depp, but I'm not doing badly, either.

Stupid Women, sure. I have much better luck with girls after they've just met me and they think I am "the nicest guy ever" and they still think I am good looking than after they've got to know me and realise that I am a roaring drunk with as many character flaws as everyone else and that the looks was mostly down to the lighting in the room.

I think you are really off base. It's like showing her you genuinely care (because you do, otherwise it wouldn't be friendzone) and her acknowledging you as being great. Awesome. Some will dare say "perfect". But she still won't go past being a close friend. Why? What's the missing ingredient? Enter the friendzone. Is it Westermarck Effect? Is it that despite the friendliness, there's no physical attraction? Maybe a hidden fear she's unconscious about? You'll never know. You're too afraid to ask out of fear of damaging a perfectly good relationship and losing someone dear and she'll either do the same or not even realize it because of circumstances you can never be aware of.

Its a girl that's got everything she needs out of you already, i.e a best friend to talk to so doesn't feel the need to commit sexually, or and this is how I prefer to think of it, doesn't want to potentially spoil what she has already. That said I still don't really believe in it.

I have one mother who's trying to fix and control my life, I don't need another one

No man would be happy as a trained monkey. I don't expect the perfect woman and I'm sure as hell not going to be the perfect man. I'm a firm believer in accepting and loving somebody for who they are.

Sure, it takes hard work to keep things afloat, but you don't go barging into a relationship trying to change a person's nature.

What if that person is a total cunt?

My position on the Friend Zone is the same as it's been ever since I lost my virginity: it doesn't exist.

You've changed your tune.

I think the Friend Zone does exist but only in the mind of the guy.

He likes her while she has likely never thought of him that way because he is too shy to articulate his feelings. That is as far as the "Friend Zone" goes.

If she knows of his affection and rejects it, then in my opinion that is something different.

I get a bit annoyed when I see people say shit like "not man enough" and that, like, fuck off, not everyone has confidence, speaking as someone that does have confidence (mostly Dutch courage, I'll grant you) I still wish they'd shut up. That said if the girl is interested she will be patient with you, if not then, well, its just chemistry, I want to say something cheesy like "try a different formula" but I think I've sunk low enough in this thread already.

 

[Danger Burger]

Baring one, I've always been friends with a lady before going out with them. I'm not American though so we don't... Fuckit, I don't care.

 

[Mac Attack]

I think the friendzone only exists if you allow it to exist.

I have a good amount of friends that are girls, do I see myself romantically attracted to them? No. I just like their company and their opinions. They're great people who I'm friends with; we hang out, go to movies, malls, etc. but we're never going to date and I know that and they know that. I wouldn't call this a friendzone as much as I'd call it friends.

However if I were to flip my real life scenario let's say I end up wanting to date one for whatever reason. If I do nothing to change my tactics to attain the goal I'm now in a scenario where I feel a perfectly good match isn't happening for whatever reason. I'm now friendzoned. I'm not making a move and nor is she.

I think the the friendzone is all mental. Being friends with a girl is possible. Being in a friendzone is all mental. The only thing stopping you from being in the friendzone is you. If you try and she rejects you're not in the friendzone anymore as you finally have your answer.