For fear that I may (as a reflex) read someone else's wisdom and copy their ideas, I'm making this post without reading anyone else's post.
Five people I would remove from tv:
Brodus Clay. Why? Brodus is fucking horrible and Tensai is only in the team to carry Brodus, a unenviable task both literally and figuratively. Brodus is a perfect shit storm of what happens when a lobotomized ******'s expectations of amusement slams hard against a WWE talent scout's expectations of physical ability. He can't dance for shit and his gimmick is that he just loves to step out there and boogie away. When Brodus Clay dances it's like watching an overweight twelve year old Jewish kid explain his latest bowel movement through interpretive dance. Let's also look at how all Brodus can do in the ring is run into shit. Every fucking time a complex spot occurs it's always Tensai that has to participate. Get him off tv, put him through Jenny Craig and make him take dance lessons from Jon Heder.
Alberto Del Rio. Why? Nobody fucking cares about Alberto Del Rio. I mean it. NOBODY!! FUCKING!! CARES!! I don't care that he's Mexican. I don't care that his finishing move is a stale armbar that's called "the armbar". I don't care if he waves a Mexican flag. I!! DON'T!! FUCKING!! CARE!! I honestly feel bad for the guy. He was never interesting enough to sell a ppv title match, so they force him into ppv title matches. Hell, Kurt Angle had to cut his teeth feuding for the Intercontinental and European titles even though he already was over enough to sell a ppv title match. Alberto Del Rio is the most, and I mean the absolute most, nauseatingly boring person on the card. I recognize that the problem is that creative didn't just drop the ball, they sent the ball crashing so far below the threshold of what it is to be borderline boring that no creative mind will ever be able to recover it. It's a damn shame because the man really is talented and the WWE failed him. Big surprise there huh?
Curtis Axel. I've already created a post dedicated to my disgust with the WWE's use of Joe Hennig. He's not an axe, he's an axel. Woohoo. Fucking lame, done. Yet another talented person whose reputation was destroyed by a bunch of worthless hacks who decide what creative direction his character would take.
Randy Orton. Why? He's been a ubiquitous title contender for fucking ever. I'm not saying write him off tv for good like I'm saying with the other nominees, even though I really fucking hate him as a human being and as a performer. The other people I've mentioned, I just really don't like their television presence. Either way, the man has fans and he makes the WWE money. I feel that he would benefit from taking a kayfabe injury so he can have the usual "epic" return that can often revitalize a performer's marketing potential. Maybe if he wasn't an abominable pile of dog shit who pissed on the US military's code of conduct, his part in The Marine 3 wouldn't have been recalled and he could have had some time off tv. Just saying, it's in his better interest to sit out a few blah ppvs to set up a big return.
John Cena. I know right, you totally saw this one coming. Well, here's my explanation. John Cena never fucking leaves. He was fired for allowing Randy Orton to defeat Wade Barret, gave a (pathetically) sad farewell to all of his wonderful fans, and an HOUR after leaving he was running back to the ring to interfere in the main event. He left for a fucking HOUR! This emotionally brain dead sack of shit worthless fuck shit impersonation of a real life pro-wrestler was barreling clumsily back to the ring an HOUR after commanding emotions from all of the imbeciles who invest in his worthless shit. He was promptly reinstated the next week on Raw, shocking. Later on in embarrassing episodes of WWE history, Mark Henry would dupe the fans into thinking that he was actually retiring. John Cena of course was fooled by this and was absolutely disgusted that Mark Henry would claim that he was retiring while having no real intention of doing so in an effort to dupe his rival. Good one John, you really should have been a blowjob for that kind of unapologetic stupidity. So we fast forward to John's excuse for laying down for Daniel Bryan, his legit tricep tear. He was gone for two months, for his absence we got two months of promos showing him trying to milk sympathy while apparently being too lightheaded to recognize that he was holding his cell phone the wrong way while filming the video. My point is that he was NEVER off tv, he was always allowed ample airtime to promote his misery. There's a reason why this dipshit can't branch out into movies or music, because he's a self-absorbed dork who's a shining example of why body builders look fucking stupid when they attempt to impersonate actual athletes. He wears bright colors, he has the creative appeal of a dangling set shiny keys. He stomps around the ring and swings his hand around while he shouts his monosyllabic thoughts in the same manner I'd expect of William Shatner during cocaine withdrawals, he's as credible and interesting to me as an infomercial for extendz. Just one mother fucking week without having to look at his plank of wood expressions, one week where he doesn't appear and no mention whatsoever is made of him on an episode of Raw, Smackdown or one of those worthless shows they produce to supplement those two. I'm only asking for one week, rhetorically of course because I know that it can't ever happen.
