I just banged a cougar...

[Dave]

She only just left.

I was standing waiting for a taxi when they arrived. They talked about waiting for a taxi and they were going to the local club. We allowed them to take our taxi when we jumped in with them. Some of us went to the club and I was going home.

She decided to stay in the taxi because she stayed nearby. She maybe did, I have no idea. She was 31. I am 21.

The deed is done.

Praise cougars of the world in here. Or Sam's thread. I don;t give a shit.

 

[Uncle Sam]

And so the distinction between Scotland and England becomes clear once more.

 

[Dave]

Take a note. In Scotland, if you share a taxi with a woman, she automatically owes you sex.

 

[Uncle Sam]

It truly is the promised land.

 

[Dave]

One day, Samuel. One day.

 

[Hyorinmaru]

any chance you could pack one of these women ina box and send her my way? I'll pay for shipping.

 

[Uncle Sam]

I'm not sure what you're getting at but I think I like it.

 

[Dave]

any chance you could pack one of these women ina box and send her my way? I'll pay for shipping.

You have to be pretty drunk, Millie. Too drunk. I am working in 6 hours and I should be sleeping by now. Her chuff was like a donner kebab...

I'm not sure what you're getting at but I think I like it.

I'd buy you a house, Sam. And then both of us can go cruising for Cougar ass. Or, we could stay in playing Portal 2. You know, either one.

 

[Uncle Sam]

I'd buy you a house, Sam. And then both of us can go cruising for Cougar ass. Or, we could stay in playing Portal 2. You know, either one.

There's got to be cougars that like Portal 2. Otherwise I may as well go hang myself now.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Her chuff was like a donner kebab...

You'll be tasting it for hours to come?

 

[Dave]

Sure there is. I hear they try their best to work on their dexterity... You know, for sexual stuff.

You'll be tasting it for hours to come?

It's also bringing my skin out with spots.

 

[ScreaminNormanSmiley]

31 seems a bit young to be considered a cougar.

 

[Uncle Sam]

31 seems a bit young to be considered a cougar.

You're 4, who are you to complain?

 

[Dave]

IT'S A COUGAR TO ME, DAMMIT!

 

[Big Nick Dudley]

Must be over 40 to qualify as a true cougar. In the States, anyway.

 

[Ty Burna]

Must be over 40 to qualify as a true cougar. In the States, anyway.

^ This man speaks the truth.

 

[JGlass]

Is a donner kebab chuff a good thing or a bad thing? That sentence was way to British for me.

 

[Dave]

Killjoys.

 

[Lee]

At 31 in scotland she's a GILF.

 

[Dave]

Is a donner kebab chuff a good thing or a bad thing? That sentence was way to British for me.

Guess.

 

[Ty Burna]

Killjoys.

Just trying to get the right classification for you good sir. You banged a woman that was older than you yes, but not in the cougar classification quite yet. Well done otherwise.

 

[JGlass]

Oh god... THE HUMANITY!

 

[Lee]

I told you not to put chilli sauce on Dave.

 

[Ty Burna]

Oh god... THE HUMANITY!

After looking at that picture, I retract my statement of well done.

 

[ScreaminNormanSmiley]

Personally I won't touch a woman who is pre-menopause.