LamaNamaneumi
08-14-2012
I saw this in Marilyn Mansons autobiography, I don't necessarily agree with everything on the list, but found it funny.
All women are lesbians. So let's get things straight (no pun intended)-if you meet any of the qualifications below, you are gay.
1. If you get someone else's sperm on you.
2. If you ever owned a Smiths album.
3. If you get hard while sucking another guy's dick.
If you don't you're straight - unless he gets sperm on you.
4. If Michael Stipe is in the room and you're having sex with a woman, you're bisexual.
5. If you're at a gay bar, you're not gay. But if you're at a straight bar and you talk to another guy longer than you talk to a girl, you're gay.
6. If you tap your feet to a Smiths song.
7. If you discuss art for more than 45 minutes.
8. If you've ever worn a beret.
9. If you kiss a guy and he has a hard on, you're not gay unless you have a hard on too.
10. If you have any kind of sex - with male or female- to The Smiths, you're gay.
11. If your only purpose in life is to get girls pregnant so they can have more girls to have lesbian sex together.
12. If you jack off and get cum on yourself.
13. If you get a boner watching Gilligan's Island.
14. If you don't get a boner watching Bewitched.
15. If there's a Smiths song on in a bar and you're in the bathroom with your dick in your hand.
16. If your name is Richard and you go by Dick.
17. If you're friends with anyone named Dick.
18. If you don't cheat on your wife, you're only using her as a prop to make people think you're not gay.
19. If you're friends with a model.
20. If you fuck a girl who likes The Smiths.
21. If you don't eat meat because The Smiths album Meat is Murder had an impact on your life.
22. If you do anything spiritual.
23. If you fuck a pregnant woman and she's carrying a boy, you're gay. If you get sperm on the amniotic sac, the baby will grow up to be gay too.
24. If you ever had a haircut like Morrissey.
25.If you ever had a hair cut while a Morrissey or Smiths album was playing in the room.
26. If you've ever talked about or owed a crystal - especially crystal meth.
27. If you've ever put Band-Aids on your nipples as a fashion statement.
28. If you've ever spent more than a week on south beach.
29. If you're not thinking about tits right now.
30. If you still liked Judas Priest after you heard the roumor that Rob Halford was gay.
31. If you get a hard on while taking a shit.
32. If you know what sperm taste like(especially if it's your own).
33. If you kiss a girl with tongue after she's swallowed your cum.
34. If you get hard while reading this.
35. If you know the names of anyone who's ever been in The Smiths besides Morrissey and Johnny Marr.
36. If you're a male model.
37. If you get chocked up listening to "Boys don't cry" by The Cure.
38. If you're a clothing designer.
39. If your first, last, middle or only name is Morrissey.
Rules Manson has broken: 1,2,12(this probably makes us all gay),20(most likely unintentionally),26,30,33,38(I design my own clothes.
Rules I have broke: 5,10,12(like Manson said this make us all gay),13(Ginger is fucking hot),20(that's how I broke #10),26, and 30.
That's it for me, what rules have you broke?
All women are lesbians. So let's get things straight (no pun intended)-if you meet any of the qualifications below, you are gay.
1. If you get someone else's sperm on you.
2. If you ever owned a Smiths album.
3. If you get hard while sucking another guy's dick.
If you don't you're straight - unless he gets sperm on you.
4. If Michael Stipe is in the room and you're having sex with a woman, you're bisexual.
5. If you're at a gay bar, you're not gay. But if you're at a straight bar and you talk to another guy longer than you talk to a girl, you're gay.
6. If you tap your feet to a Smiths song.
7. If you discuss art for more than 45 minutes.
8. If you've ever worn a beret.
9. If you kiss a guy and he has a hard on, you're not gay unless you have a hard on too.
10. If you have any kind of sex - with male or female- to The Smiths, you're gay.
11. If your only purpose in life is to get girls pregnant so they can have more girls to have lesbian sex together.
12. If you jack off and get cum on yourself.
13. If you get a boner watching Gilligan's Island.
14. If you don't get a boner watching Bewitched.
15. If there's a Smiths song on in a bar and you're in the bathroom with your dick in your hand.
16. If your name is Richard and you go by Dick.
17. If you're friends with anyone named Dick.
18. If you don't cheat on your wife, you're only using her as a prop to make people think you're not gay.
19. If you're friends with a model.
20. If you fuck a girl who likes The Smiths.
21. If you don't eat meat because The Smiths album Meat is Murder had an impact on your life.
22. If you do anything spiritual.
23. If you fuck a pregnant woman and she's carrying a boy, you're gay. If you get sperm on the amniotic sac, the baby will grow up to be gay too.
24. If you ever had a haircut like Morrissey.
25.If you ever had a hair cut while a Morrissey or Smiths album was playing in the room.
26. If you've ever talked about or owed a crystal - especially crystal meth.
27. If you've ever put Band-Aids on your nipples as a fashion statement.
28. If you've ever spent more than a week on south beach.
29. If you're not thinking about tits right now.
30. If you still liked Judas Priest after you heard the roumor that Rob Halford was gay.
31. If you get a hard on while taking a shit.
32. If you know what sperm taste like(especially if it's your own).
33. If you kiss a girl with tongue after she's swallowed your cum.
34. If you get hard while reading this.
35. If you know the names of anyone who's ever been in The Smiths besides Morrissey and Johnny Marr.
36. If you're a male model.
37. If you get chocked up listening to "Boys don't cry" by The Cure.
38. If you're a clothing designer.
39. If your first, last, middle or only name is Morrissey.
Rules Manson has broken: 1,2,12(this probably makes us all gay),20(most likely unintentionally),26,30,33,38(I design my own clothes.
Rules I have broke: 5,10,12(like Manson said this make us all gay),13(Ginger is fucking hot),20(that's how I broke #10),26, and 30.
That's it for me, what rules have you broke?
