Haiku Hogan's Shit List

[JGlass]

Real talk; it was as vodka drink, too. A Stinger, actually; so named because it stings the fuck outta your eyes

A Stinger doesn't have vodka in it. A stinger is Brandy and White Creme de Menthe. I reckon getting any alcohol thrown in your face is going to hurt.

It doesn't sound like this is a nice guy so much as a total sad sack. I'm of the opinion that there's no such thing as a friendzone, and you can easily remove yourself from being seen as "just a friend" with relative ease.

 

[Miko]

Oh, this is going to be fucking great. The friendzone is already another rant for another time, but needless to say, it's for butthurt fools who just don't know how to interact with women, period.

See, you say this and I think, well, the guy has a point. But then you ruin it by saying this;

"Girls don't want nice guys; they just want assholes. And then they wanna shoulder to cry on, just so they can step on their balls when they're back up again."

This is just a big a myth as the friendzone. It's because people actually believe this crap that they end up in the ruts that they're in. Basically, you've all watched too many American sitcoms and seen too many internet memes for your own good.

 

[Барбоса]

I think the friend zone does exist but it is self-inflicted.

As JGlass says, it is easy to escape if you are so inclined.

Not entirely sure what the definition of 'nice guy' is supposed to be aside from being polite and taking to a girl without an ulterior motive

 

[The Dragon Saga]

Why didn't he hit you? Seriously. Maybe it's the Irish stereotype with me but throwing a drink at someone is
a) A waste of a drink
b) A waste of money
c) A gateway to have to get up, wade through all the other drunks and purchase another drink.

We are no help to the stereotype attached to our culture because reading it I thought the exact same fucking thing, was even going to post about it. Another option would have been in my experience, to force the fucker to buy you a drink as compensation for the one he just threw in your eyes. I've had vodka and red bull scorch my pupils, it's not funny.

Something similar to this happened to me, except the "nice guy" was a girl and we were testing the waters, which failed so I severed ties and was then stalked for the better part of two months. This included the girl in question approaching my then new girlfriend outside a takeaway to threaten and; by coincidence, throw a drink (luckily, water) in her face in a nightclub, which wound up getting the psychopath a lifetime ban.

Not to mention she told her brother I'd called her something, her brother being in the army (I'm sure it's much scarier had this been in America, as our troops main use is stacking sandbags against doors during floods) came looking for me, found me out one night and when I explained the situation he shook his head and sighed, "Not this shit again!" before apologizing and walking off.

Some people are indeed insane.

 

[Барбоса]

Having read about Haiku's "nice guy," for me that guy does not qualify for any definition of "nice guy" that I have heard.

Instead, he is a misery-guts, who is only happy or contented when he is miserable and getting attention/pity because of it.

I know this because I too am a misery at times. Except I have no wish or want to share that misery with others - if I am feeling particularly miserable for whatever reason, I will not go out - and I do not crave pity. In fact, I fucking hate it, mainly because the people most willing to dole it out are themselves incredibly annoying, looking for their own pick-me-up for having done something "good." The kind of person who does not think "because I do not want to" is not a sufficient answer to the question "why are you not dancing?"

 

[Miko]

I think the friend zone does exist but it is self-inflicted.

As JGlass says, it is easy to escape if you are so inclined.

Yep, I think the only way it works is for two people to decide thats the way forward and even then its sketchy.

Not entirely sure what the definition of 'nice guy' is supposed to be aside from being polite and taking to a girl without an ulterior motive

As you said later on, that guy was a douche. I guess the definition of a 'nice guy' is probably someone who just wants to snuggle but can't muster up the courage to ask.

 

[Pepe Silvia]

This is just a big a myth as the friendzone. It's because people actually believe this crap that they end up in the ruts that they're in. Basically, you've all watched too many American sitcoms and seen too many internet memes for your own good.

You saw the quotation marks that showed that the guy who thought he was in the friend zone was the one saying girls want assholes, and not Haiku Hogan, right?

 

[Miko]

I didnt see shit

 

[Coco]

It's because people actually believe this crap that they end up in the ruts that they're in.

I say that about everything.

I'm extremely difficult to be around for extended periods of time.

 

[Miko]

I say that about everything.

I'm extremely difficult to be around for extended periods of time.

You do? You are? Fuck, perhaps I am not the easy going company I assumed I was until now.

 

[Con T.]

Number Flarp!: Uncle Sam

Oh, Uncle Sam... Man of the people, or terrorist of the best interests of this board?

It's a shame I must induct this man, the same man who I would likely willingly suck the one headed white snake of, at least in e-form, until every ounce of loin juice has dried.

Sadly, Loin Juice is exactly why you're on my shit list for a third time, my boy. For those that don't know, allow me to introduce you to the greatest thing I believe, the posting sensation sweeping the nation, Mrs. Dagger Dias' Baby Boy!

http://forums.wrestlezone.com/member.php?u=52144

This may be, in fact, the best, best thing ever grace my eyes. All from a bet that occurred that I had no idea about until this occurred. Alas, Mrs. Dagger Dias' Baby Boy, you had one fatal flaw; you believed that the WWE wold use Michael Cole in a productive way, which would make him an asset, and not a liability, to the show.

Ya dun' fucked up, boy. And Sam was smart enough to realize that the WWE, at its core, is really a toy for Vince McMahon's amusement; if we're to believe Chris Jericho, and if Standard and Practices would allow, Raw would be two hours of monkeys buttfucking on screen.

Sorry, make that two and a half hours. The other half hour would be Brock Lesnar staring and cackling at a pit of burning money. And Sam saw this, and saw to your doom, to forever for the next two months be, Mrs. Dagger Dias' Baby Boy.

But should it have been?

http://forums.wrestlezone.com/showthread.php?t=244741&highlight=harthan

Of course, you will note, that the leading vote getter of this poll, the very poll we were led to believe would decide the fate of poor Mrs. Dagger Dias' Baby Boy, was Dagger Dias' Loin Juice. Sam, I'm sad to say, in a cruel twist of fate, you have become just like Vince McMahon, being aloof and out of touch with your audience, and instead of giving the people what they want, you decided to give us two hours of Monkey Buttfucking.

I'm sorry, two and a half hours of Monkey Buttfucking. The other half hour would be Brock Lesnar staring and cackling at a pit of burning money.

This promises to have hilarious results, but aye, what could have been, indeed. Call me crass, if you choose.

You're crass

I know. And while there's a certain wit and humor to Mrs. Dagger Dias' Baby Boy.... How many times do you get to refer to someone as Dagger Dias' Loin Juice?!?! How many, I say? You have played with my emotions, and my sensibilities, much like I imagine Dagger Dias' son will play with balls, some fine day.

You have robbed me, Uncle Sam. And I could never be proud of a son that robs.

This is all so great
But I think we all agree
We've all been blue balled.

 

[Hyorinmaru]

how am i not on this list?

 

[Uncle Sam]

I ignore polls better than WWE and George Bush combined. I'll tell you what you want and you'll like it.

Alas, it's regrettable that I've made the list for a record third time (unless Stormtrooper re-appeared while I wasn't looking) but needs must.

 

[Con T.]

how am i not on this list?

I respect the dead
Unlike Stormtrooper, brother.
May you rest in peace

 

[Hyorinmaru]

I respect the dead
Unlike Stormtrooper, brother.
May you rest in peace

well shit

 

[Con T.]

Number Who Gives a Fuck Anymore?: Papa Pillman

Oh, Papa Pillman... Even if you did father a son who was bat shit nuts, and probably have twenty million illegitimate children running around, you sure can come off pretty damn pretentious and haughty. Interesting, when you consider that often, you have so very little to say.

What do I mean, exactly? Well, let's take a look at this little post right here;

I have no real feeling about this argument either way, most of you are talking in circles, and for every right point that anyone of you(be it Dukes, KB, Haiku, or Echelon) has made that same person has made as many bullshit points, frankly attempting to read this thread gave me a migraine. But I will say this...

Well, when you start like this profound, you better have something very, very profound to say, Babaloo. I mean, we all know how this is going to end; you didn't, spoiler alerts. But this isn't about the post, so much as the haughty attitude to mini call out posters far better than you (and trust me, with the exception of Dukes, we're all better than you... You know, even with Echelon's love of Kane and Kaitlyn), you better have something really profound to offer.

Shattered Dreams has this absolutley CORRECT. Like 150%.

It is one thing to argue whether or not there is any merit in actually allowing Ziggler to go over in this program. That comes down to what you feel Ziggler's value is now or going forward. The fact that I'm essentially indifferent on Ziggler may lend to my indifference on this argument as a whole, but...

It is beyond any argument that Ziggler has been made to look VASTLY inferior to Cena over the course of this program. I have followed the entire thing and never once did I get the impression that the WWE had any interest in making Ziggler out to look like a threat to Cena.

Anyone who says that Ziggler "has been made to look competitive" over the course of this feud is talking so far out their ass that I can smell it when i read the words.

The only thing this feud has done is to reinforce the fact that Cena is unstoppable. This fued was designed to squash any perception that Cena was losing a step after his "down year". They booked this feud so Cena could enter 2013 on a strong note building into WM. Nothing is wrong with that. But that is how it is.

No matter what angle, direction, or light that you choose to look at it in; Ziggler has in no shape, no form, or in any possible way been made to look like even the most miniscule of a competitive threat to Cena.

Now there is not necesarily anything wrong with that. But let's not lie and act like its not the absolute truth either.

Ziggler has been booked as a joke with no hope who is miles, and miles, and miles, and miles, and miles, and miles, and miles, short of Cena's level. And if you disagree with that you are the one being an idiot.

Want me to make everyone's job that much easier, so they don't have to wade through a fuckton of crap?

I don't think Dolph Ziggler was elevated in his feud with John Cena, at all.

That's pretty much the only point you make throughout your entire post, brother. For someone who typed so much, you said absolutely nothing. There's a reason I frequent the spam sections; I'd rather not deal with idle ramblings of posters who spend so much time and effort saying shit they really only need about one sentence to say.

You suffer from that completely, mate. And I don't mean to be mean about it, because the truth is, when you accept you really don't have that much to say, say less, and accept you really aren't that smart about the business, you, I, and the rest of the forums will be better for it.

Sometimes, less is more, brother. The faster you learn that, the better.

Quite a bit much, jack.
When you learn to say much less
We'll be better off

 

[Papa Pillman]

First of all I feel like I've somehow "Made it" just by being included here.

That's pretty much the only point you make throughout your entire post, brother. For someone who typed so much, you said absolutely nothing. There's a reason I frequent the spam sections; I'd rather not deal with idle ramblings of posters who spend so much time and effort saying shit they really only need about one sentence to say.

Thank You sir.

I Love you for getting the point.

Well kind of anyway...

The entire thread was essentially just four or five of you writing unnecessarily long diatribes to keep making the exact same points no matter how much water they did or did not hold. The near pointless rambling and over-enforcing of your opinions looked fun. So I thought I'd join.

Oh and in the midst of it I made a relevant point.

Here, I'll make it more concisely for you:

The way Ziggler has been booked in this program has given no reason for any viewers to think he was going to win, especially by the time the cage match came along. Not one near fall in that match was believable as a result. Which ruined what could've been a good match. But since Ziggler isn't really worth much, who gives a shit in the long run anyway?

End point.

^^^Now if I would have stated it that way it would have still been the first actual point that was made in the entire thread, but it would have been less fun for me.

No Regrets.

 

[Con T.]

You do see the irony in responding to criticism of being tl'dr and long winded by responding with something tl;dr and long winded, right?

 

[shattered dreams]

You do see the irony in responding to criticism of being tl'dr and long winded by responding with something tl;dr and long winded, right?

How long was your OP in that thread?

 

[FlexAmerican Dynamite]

Wonder if my response was too long winded, glad SD liked it.

 

[Con T.]

How long was your OP in that thread?

That opening post didn't say the same thing over and over.

 

[Gelgarin]

You do see the irony in responding to criticism of being tl'dr and long winded by responding with something tl;dr and long winded, right?

I can't say I can, and I'm normally pretty good about this kind of thing. I've been listening to Alanis Morissette since I was a child.

Explain it please.

 

[Con T.]

I can't say I can, and I'm normally pretty good about this kind of thing. I've been listening to Alanis Morissette since I was a child.

Explain it please.

Is this my death pardon, two minutes too late?

 

[Con T.]

Papa's the first man to I think ever get off my shit list, for what I believe to be a perfect post

Things must be on sale to be bought.

TNA's parent company has more money than Vince.

Selling the only other nationally viable brand in the country for money they don't need?? Makes Sense... To You... To the rest of us...

 

[Papa Pillman]

If my response. in this thread was too long, you're reading capacity should be what's in question.

Unless you're programmed to read the extra spaces between the lines.