Glass Ass: The OFFICIAL JGlass Thread

[nightmare]

And this doesn't look as good, but it seems like a highly profile movie and it stars someone you might recognize...

It has potential. Although having Batista in the film gives it negative points already for me. Unless of course he does the machine guns entrance or hits the powerbomb on a bunch of Asians. That could save it.

HOLY SHIT!! JUST FOUND OUT BATMAN LIVE IS COMING ABOUT AN HOUR AWAY FROM WHERE I LIVE IN NOVEMBER!!!!! YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!!!!!

I'm excited

I had no idea what you were talking about and looked it up. So you mean to tell me its a Batman themed circus? With explosions?

Im very interested. Better not be a fucking musical. It says its not, but it seems like a dirty trick someone would play. Get you there with promises of bombs, lights and ass kicking- then WHAM!, you are at a musical.

 

[Uncle Sam]

This thread is just a glass ass half full without Coco.

 

[JGlass]

This thread is just a glass ass half full without Coco.

The thread could use more Coco, but then again most things could use a little more Coco. This entire site would greatly benefit from his return.

 

[CH David]

All hope is lost. For both of you. But mostly David.

I've been told this before. I usually make a case for myself. Somehow I don't feel like trying though. Could be because I just got home from work.

 

[nightmare]

The thread could use more Coco, but then again most things could use a little more Coco. This entire site would greatly benefit from his return.

Has anyone thought that maybe Wicked Valentine finally caught him and is keeping him in her basement? Im sure he wouldnt mind, but how can we know for sure?



---

Anyone heard of this shit yet?

http://newsfeed.time.com/2012/10/05/french-bees-produce-blue-honey/

Every living creature likes M&M's. There is your proof.

These french bastards just fucked up the Easter Bunny's game right here.

 

[Барбоса]

Not a fan of M&Ms

 

[Theo Mays]

Not a fan of M&Ms

Second.

Also I just ate at a Chinese buffet (been there before) and it just obliterates my stomach in a matter of minutes. I'm not sure why I go back.

 

[nightmare]

Second.

Also I just ate at a Chinese buffet (been there before) and it just obliterates my stomach in a matter of minutes. I'm not sure why I go back.

...Because you are hungry again in 20 minutes.... Cat meat and rice is filling at first but it doesnt last.



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Just got my hands on the new Coheed album. I have been through it 3 times already & I love it. Fantastic stuff & well worth the wait. I am waiting for the deluxe edition I ordered to come in (its late, for quality control issues) so I can check out all the artwork.

The band and lyrics have such a great backstory and the music is much better than the crap that the radio pushes on the airwaves daily. If you dont already know about them, check it out. (Domino the Destitute, The Broken, Welcome Home, Al the Killer) Those are all some great songs. They blend some fantastic hard rock elements with very atmospheric 'Pink Floyd' like melody. Some of the best guitar riffs written in the past 10 years.

 

[Theo Mays]

...Because you are hungry again in 20 minutes.... Cat meat and rice is filling at first but it doesnt last.

By going back I meant back to the place again. I have no problems with Chinese buffets, except for the one I went to tonight (and numerous times before). But yeah your statement is the troof.

 

[justinsayne]

I like the peanut M&M's, Peanut butter M&Ms, & the Pretzels M&M's. The PB&J M&M's are also surprisingly decent, though are hard as hell to find, I'm not even sure they make them anymore.

Also I would probably by blue and/or green honey as long as it still tasted the same.

 

[The Crock]

The Man with the Iron Fists gets points in my book for the RZA/Wu-Tang connection.

 

[JGlass]

One of my roommates has been having very loud sex with his girlfriend for the better part of 45 minutes. On the one hand, I give him mad props for keeping his girlfriend that satisfied for that long. On the other hand, it's now 3:30, and you are loudly spanking her and doing things that I can't even imagine against a shared wall (seriously, there is a lot of friction against that wall and unless he has her pinned up against it (which I don't think is possible since his bed is against that wall) I have no idea what's going on there), and it's time to sleep.

Nightmare, this seems exactly like the type of thing that would be better dealt with with passive aggressive pranking than an actual conversation. Any advice?

 

[Ty Burna]

The Man with the Iron Fists gets points in my book for the RZA/Wu-Tang connection.

Wu Tang - Check
RZA - Check
Kung Fu - Check

Yep. I'm in. Easily my most anticipated movie of the year.

Is it going to be thought provoking? No. Is it going to be Oscar worthy? No. Do I fucking care? No.

 

[justinsayne]

Is it going to be thought provoking? No. Is it going to be Oscar worthy? No. Do I fucking care? No.

Pretty much my thoughts

 

[JGlass]

I didn't realize RZA directed it himself. That actually gets me a lot more excited as I'm sure it's just going to be a Kung Fu wonderland for an hour and a half. I also like the gimmicky characters; it appeals to both the wrestling fan and the super hero fan in me.

Definitely a movie I'll check out in theaters.

 

[shattered dreams]

Any advice?

Fuck his Mom louder.

 

[nightmare]

One of my roommates has been having very loud sex with his girlfriend for the better part of 45 minutes. On the one hand, I give him mad props for keeping his girlfriend that satisfied for that long. On the other hand, it's now 3:30, and you are loudly spanking her and doing things that I can't even imagine against a shared wall (seriously, there is a lot of friction against that wall and unless he has her pinned up against it (which I don't think is possible since his bed is against that wall) I have no idea what's going on there), and it's time to sleep.

Nightmare, this seems exactly like the type of thing that would be better dealt with with passive aggressive pranking than an actual conversation. Any advice?

1). Take a syringe filled with Icy Hot and gently poke a hole in his condom wrapper (toward the edge, not in the middle or u will go thru the condom itself) and squirt some in there. Happy fun time will now be over quickly if they try another 3am sex marathon when you want to sleep.


2). If you rather he change locations, instead of teach him a lesson- try this. Make it unbearable in his room, so much that his girl will not want to set foot in there let alone get down to business. Get some of the worst smelling cheese you can and spread it on the underside of his bed. Also you can stuff things between his mattress or inside his pillow(the pillow itself not just between the pillowcase). A mixture of pickle slices, eggs and fish parts would be good and rotten. They would be undetected by feel, but the smell would be terrible enough for her\him to want to take the party elsewhere.


3). You could always just walk in and hit him in the ass with a tazer. That really depends on how close you are and how pissed he would be. Some friends would laugh with you about it over a beer later on- others will take it very personally. You have to determine that before you zap him mid thrust...

 

[justinsayne]

Poor Yaz, not only is he going to have to just sit there and watch as my Packers slap his little Colts around like the bitches they are, but he also has to watch the 52 Shades of Clay (the team formally known as Thor Losers) rape Dwayne Bowe Dash in the pony butt.

 

[Little Jerry Lawler]

This may be a jinx and Kramerica Industries is 0-4 but I don't give a fuck. This'll be the easiest win in fantasy football I'll ever have.

 

[Mighty NorCal]

1). Take a syringe filled with Icy Hot and gently poke a hole in his condom wrapper (toward the edge, not in the middle or u will go thru the condom itself) and squirt some in there. Happy fun time will now be over quickly if they try another 3am sex marathon when you want to sleep.


2). If you rather he change locations, instead of teach him a lesson- try this. Make it unbearable in his room, so much that his girl will not want to set foot in there let alone get down to business. Get some of the worst smelling cheese you can and spread it on the underside of his bed. Also you can stuff things between his mattress or inside his pillow(the pillow itself not just between the pillowcase). A mixture of pickle slices, eggs and fish parts would be good and rotten. They would be undetected by feel, but the smell would be terrible enough for her\him to want to take the party elsewhere.


3). You could always just walk in and hit him in the ass with a tazer. That really depends on how close you are and how pissed he would be. Some friends would laugh with you about it over a beer later on- others will take it very personally. You have to determine that before you zap him mid thrust...

Or, do nothing and chalk this up as a loss...

Why?

Because people like that (especially the girl) love the fact that someone can hear them, and it will only make them be louder and crazier. I cant tell you how many times I tried to tell girls to shut the fuck up, or at least keep it to a dull roar....until I revealed the reason, being that I have Mormon missionaries in the next apartment over, thus making my bedroom wall also their wall on the other side.

This never seemed to want them to be more quiet and reserved.

If you ignore it, the novelty may wear off. If you say something, its gonna be more ridic

 

[justinsayne]

Or, do nothing and chalk this up as a loss...

Why?

Because people like that (especially the girl) love the fact that someone can hear them, and it will only make them be louder and crazier. I cant tell you how many times I tried to tell girls to shut the fuck up, or at least keep it to a dull roar....until I revealed the reason, being that I have Mormon missionaries in the next apartment over, thus making my bedroom wall also their wall on the other side.

This never seemed to want them to be more quiet and reserved.

If you ignore it, the novelty may wear off. If you say something, its gonna be more ridic

I concur, as a person who went through the same shit with roommates in the past, NorCal is pretty right on.

 

[nightmare]

You have a bit of a point NorCal. Chicks love attention and sometimes just wont shut the fuck up.


Although J could always just wrap a towel around himself and bust in the room with his best Val Venis impression and ask if she wanted to ride the Big Valboski or take the train back home....



Any of the above will be far more entertaining than a mere conversation. Either tell them to STFU or try something and get a good laugh out of it in the process.

 

[justinsayne]

Although J could always just wrap a towel around himself and bust in the room with his best Val Venis impression and ask if she wanted to ride the Big Valboski or take the train back home....

Instead of asking if she'd like to ride the Big Valboski, he should ask if she'd like a little "Glass in the ass". In fact next time he's at a bar & that should be his go to cheesy pick up line.

 

[JGlass]

Or, do nothing and chalk this up as a loss...

Why?

Because people like that (especially the girl) love the fact that someone can hear them, and it will only make them be louder and crazier. I cant tell you how many times I tried to tell girls to shut the fuck up, or at least keep it to a dull roar....until I revealed the reason, being that I have Mormon missionaries in the next apartment over, thus making my bedroom wall also their wall on the other side.

This never seemed to want them to be more quiet and reserved.

If you ignore it, the novelty may wear off. If you say something, its gonna be more ridic

Both of them pride themselves on being, I don't know, more sexually explicit than everyone else? They're the type of couple that "let's slip" that there's a pair of handcuffs that will be involved in their nightly banging.

I don't get why chicks think they need to be loud during sex. Eventually it just reaches the point of ridiculousness. My last girlfriend would only be loud if she knew nobody she knew could hear her, but if we were in like, a hotel or something, she'd be deafening. It was really obnoxious.

 

[nightmare]

Instead of asking if she'd like to ride the Big Valboski, he should ask if she'd like a little "Glass in the ass". In fact next time he's at a bar & that should be his go to cheesy pick up line.

Any girl that jumps on that invitation would be thinking of a whole different type of scenario.... That could be a very scary evening.

Both of them pride themselves on being, I don't know, more sexually explicit than everyone else? They're the type of couple that "let's slip" that there's a pair of handcuffs that will be involved in their nightly banging.

I don't get why chicks think they need to be loud during sex. Eventually it just reaches the point of ridiculousness. My last girlfriend would only be loud if she knew nobody she knew could hear her, but if we were in like, a hotel or something, she'd be deafening. It was really obnoxious.

Look at it this way, you know what you can get them for a gift this holiday season. Handcuff keys and a shitload of egg-crates to soundproof the room. Cheap and practical gifts.

If you dont want to pull a joke\prank- I suggest getting yourself some good headphones.