Turd Ferguson
DA-DA Da Da Da Bah Da Da DADADA
WWE Championship:
John Cena vs. Batista
World Heavyweight Championship:
Jack Swagger vs. Randy Orton
Punk's Hair On The Line:
CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio
The Rest Of The Card:
Steel Cage Match: Edge vs. Chris Jericho
Street Fight: Triple H vs. Sheamus
Extreme Makeover Match: Michelle McCool vs. Beth Phoenix
Strap Match: Shad Gaspard vs. JTG
Match That Might Happen:
Tag Team Titles: ShowMiz vs. The Hart Dynasty
Last year at Extreme Rules, Jeff Hardy won the World Heavyweight Championship in a grueling Ladder Match from Edge. It also marked the birth of CM Punk: Straight Edge Savior, as Punk cashed in Money in the Bank minutes later on him. Since then, those two men's careers have gone in opposite directions. CM Punk has gone on to be the best heel in the WWE today. Jeff Hardy has gone on to leave the WWE and get busted on drug trafficking charges. He's going to be in jail for awhile. He then went on to suffer a fate worse than jailtime: working for TNA.
CM Punk will commemorate that memory by defeating another drug addict, Rey Mysterio, tonight.
Point of the story: Nobody likes Jeff Hardy anymore. Not even giraffes.