Mark Gallows
Dark Match Winner
Well, I'll be honest on a few things...first, I do love wrestling, and I did come here to talk about wrestling. Secondly, this isn't some ball-less fauning apology to the mod-reich you've got going here, it's more of a retrospective look at my time here, an explination and an offer...do with it what you will.
So, I've been warned/banned on here a fuckload of times, quite literally, a fuckload of times. Was it my fault? Maybe, sometimes, but mainly it was due to people getting butthurt. Because I couldn't understand the butthurt, I lashed out. I was appauled to be "banned" or "warned" over innocuous comments and "cody rhodes looks like a gay alien" jokes. I just couldn't work it out.
It was like trying to argue with that one cop with the really small penis who wants to lift you on a "breach of the peace" and dislocates your ribs when he slams you with the car door, I couldn't fathom the level of over-reaction.
But one day it came to me...it all made sence. I was like Newton getting beaned with that falling apple. I found the "post your picture" thread. It all just fell into place from there.
I really couldn't understand how I'd rip John Cena for being utterly fucking useless and I'd get all these dangle-berries defending him, wtf is that? Or morons who made weak-ass, cheap little insults towards me then REPORTED me for the response?! It was like landing on an alien planet, meeting the lifeforms and thinking "what are these rotund, sackless, ape-creatures?"
Then I saw that thread and "bang!", like DDP used to say, it all made sence. Half these fucks looked like they went to bed at night sweating "troll hunters". And I don't mean they're trolls in the internet sence, I mean mother fuckers look like hairy, mythical beasts of burden...the fuck is dat? The rest were equally grotesque but were, in actual fact, 13/14 years old.
So I see now, like Bill Murray at the end of Scrooged, I see now! This forum, if I can methaphor, is like the shire from LOTR...full of weird, slighty special sex-less little people and hairy, lairy old wizards. The point I'm trying to make here is this is VIRGIN TERRITORY. I see why the introduction of a man, with a functional nutsack and brain scared the little people...I upset their eco-system.
Don't get me wrong, there are cool folks on here, this dosen't apply to all...just most. See WZ, the fact is YOU need ME...you need a counterbalance to all these freaks going;
"nuhhh, I don't like Divas matches, they can't wrestle"...you need me here to go "Well duh, fuckface. But I don't hate the divas matches, I watch that shit in 720p! Because I'm a man and the divas de-queer what Raw has become...I-carly for...moderatly(?) hetro teen boys".
They just don't understand, they've never seen any wrestling pre-2005, they've had McMahons brain-washing beamed into their head and John Cena's dick forced down their throat for so many years...they think THIS, the current product, they think THIS shit is what wrestling is. Oh yes, WZ, you need me.
You need me to make a man with "I'm a 23 year old, straight male John Cena fan" in his sig ASHAMED of his existance. That can't stand! What the fuck are you?! He's RANCID! He's irredeemable! He's just plain shit. Hang yourself mate.
So here's the deal...I'm like Dr Lecter, you're like Clarice. You give me enhanced privilages...nothing fancy, I'm happy to kick around the Prison and spam-friendly sections...I'll even keep the talk to wrestling, scouts honour. What I won't do is modify my frankly brilliant rant/prose, nor will I be nice to developementally challenged, 13 year old John Cena fans...I just won't.
Ball's in your court...unless you turn me down, then my balls are on your chin, 'ya dig?
So, I've been warned/banned on here a fuckload of times, quite literally, a fuckload of times. Was it my fault? Maybe, sometimes, but mainly it was due to people getting butthurt. Because I couldn't understand the butthurt, I lashed out. I was appauled to be "banned" or "warned" over innocuous comments and "cody rhodes looks like a gay alien" jokes. I just couldn't work it out.
It was like trying to argue with that one cop with the really small penis who wants to lift you on a "breach of the peace" and dislocates your ribs when he slams you with the car door, I couldn't fathom the level of over-reaction.
But one day it came to me...it all made sence. I was like Newton getting beaned with that falling apple. I found the "post your picture" thread. It all just fell into place from there.
I really couldn't understand how I'd rip John Cena for being utterly fucking useless and I'd get all these dangle-berries defending him, wtf is that? Or morons who made weak-ass, cheap little insults towards me then REPORTED me for the response?! It was like landing on an alien planet, meeting the lifeforms and thinking "what are these rotund, sackless, ape-creatures?"
Then I saw that thread and "bang!", like DDP used to say, it all made sence. Half these fucks looked like they went to bed at night sweating "troll hunters". And I don't mean they're trolls in the internet sence, I mean mother fuckers look like hairy, mythical beasts of burden...the fuck is dat? The rest were equally grotesque but were, in actual fact, 13/14 years old.
So I see now, like Bill Murray at the end of Scrooged, I see now! This forum, if I can methaphor, is like the shire from LOTR...full of weird, slighty special sex-less little people and hairy, lairy old wizards. The point I'm trying to make here is this is VIRGIN TERRITORY. I see why the introduction of a man, with a functional nutsack and brain scared the little people...I upset their eco-system.
Don't get me wrong, there are cool folks on here, this dosen't apply to all...just most. See WZ, the fact is YOU need ME...you need a counterbalance to all these freaks going;
"nuhhh, I don't like Divas matches, they can't wrestle"...you need me here to go "Well duh, fuckface. But I don't hate the divas matches, I watch that shit in 720p! Because I'm a man and the divas de-queer what Raw has become...I-carly for...moderatly(?) hetro teen boys".
They just don't understand, they've never seen any wrestling pre-2005, they've had McMahons brain-washing beamed into their head and John Cena's dick forced down their throat for so many years...they think THIS, the current product, they think THIS shit is what wrestling is. Oh yes, WZ, you need me.
You need me to make a man with "I'm a 23 year old, straight male John Cena fan" in his sig ASHAMED of his existance. That can't stand! What the fuck are you?! He's RANCID! He's irredeemable! He's just plain shit. Hang yourself mate.
So here's the deal...I'm like Dr Lecter, you're like Clarice. You give me enhanced privilages...nothing fancy, I'm happy to kick around the Prison and spam-friendly sections...I'll even keep the talk to wrestling, scouts honour. What I won't do is modify my frankly brilliant rant/prose, nor will I be nice to developementally challenged, 13 year old John Cena fans...I just won't.
Ball's in your court...unless you turn me down, then my balls are on your chin, 'ya dig?
