Domestic football - spam version

[Lee]

If I'm right the only other team (aside from the toon) to have not conceded this season in the Premier league is Spurs who haven't played a game yet.

 

[¡Roján!]

Vorm got me 11 points! I'm sitting at 37, at the moment. And, it says Danny Saunders has 89 points and I almost died, but it turns out they're having server problems!

 

[Lee]

Yeah I should have 35 with two players playing tomorrow but it says I have 30

 

[Constipated Badger Bottom]

Danny Saunders has 31 points this week for all of you worrying, had a shit week, Left Kevin Davies and Enrique on the bench, all my defenders conceded goals and decided to keep Taarabt instead of bringing in Jarvis, need Van Der Vaart to bag me a couple tomorow night

On top of all that Celtic lost to St Fucking Johnstone at home

 

[Lee]

Some newcastle stats here:

Ryan Taylor netted a seventh competitive goal for Newcastle and a first in the Premier League. His previous six top-flight strikes all came for Wigan and no less than four of those were in games against NUFC.

The Magpies have never started a Premier League season with a pair of clean sheets and last achieved that back in 1990/91 (2-0 home win over Plymouth Argyle, 1-0 away win at Blackburn Rovers).

And in terms of kicking off a top-flight campaign with back to back clean sheets, one has to go back to the 1951/52 season (6-0 home win over Stoke, 0-0 draw at Bolton).

 

[Lee]

Using my investigations the league is:

Inter ur nan 42 pts all played
It's clobberin' time 37 points + Berbatov to play
Hyrule F.C 35 pts + Young to play
FC United Of Leeds 34 pts + Nani and Evans to play
It's A Booking 31 pts + Van Der vaart to play
KFC Wimbledon 21pts all played

 

[¡Roján!]

I chose Berbatov, you know, seeing as it's his old club and all, but, I'm pretty sure he won't start. Regretting that decision like a bitch.

 

[Lee]

My other fantasy league I'm second for the week but because I missed week one I'm mid table.

 

[Murphy]

Like most people I've had a disapionting week. My subs Vorm, Simpson, Dyer and Long all did better than the players in my starting line up. I already made my transfer for the week, I got Jose Enrique in for Alex in case Enrique's price goes up. I knew Silva would have a good start to the season after such a great finish to last season, and a good pre season. He'll defienitley get bonus points. Looks like I will win this week as I think Berba will not start. He'll probably (hopefully) come on as a sub and just get a single point. Hopefully Johnny Evans will keep me a clean sheet, and Nani will get me a few goals and assists (You never know with Nani he's very inconsistent).

Leeds played well today. We fought hard for a point, I thought we even deserved a win. I had put a single Euro on West Ham to lead at HT and Leeds to win FT. It looked like a possibility after Leeds first (Barcelona like) goal. The momentum was with us, but than Paddy Kisnorbo was very unlucky to score an own goal. Anyway a draw away to The Hammers is a great result.

 

[Dowdsy McDowds]

So Juan Mata looks pretty much set to join Chelsea this week. Saw some of him during the U21 tournament and he looked like a good talent, could also bring out the best in Torres too.

Heard Lucas Neill has joined Al Jazeera, or so I thought, but it's Al Jazira. For a few seconds I was wondering why that would be a transfer story :S

 

[¡Roján!]

Arsene Wenger, take note. That's how you make a transfer, no waiting around.

 

[Tastycles]

I did fucking shit this week. Aguero missing an open goal and taking the captaincy of Suarez really didn't help matters. Weirdly the only player that scored more than two points was Nathan Dyer who I only put in because he was dirt cheap and likely to play week in week out. My telegraph team was a beast though, Matt Jarvis did me a real favour.

 

[Constipated Badger Bottom]

Man utd have started strongly in the first 10 minutes but Tottenham are slowly coming back into it withVan Der Vaart's looking dangerous, come on son bag me a hat-trick

 

[Lee]

The league defo set up for just week 2 onwards?

 

[Lee]

Newcastle United are now the only team not to concede in the four English leagues.

 

[Captain Morgan Freeman]

Yeah when i look at the league table it says scoring started gameweek 2. The site must be having serious problems with scoring. Van Persie really isn't pulling his weight in my 3 man strike force seriously considering dropping him if he cant show the form he did in the second half of last season. Clint Dempseys also been a big dissapointment.

Also seeing as i set up the league you all may refer to me as "The Overlord"

 

[Constipated Badger Bottom]

Oh shit Defoe just tried to do a Randy Orton punt on De Gea

 

[Dan E. Inferno]

Utd 3 - 0 Spurs

Good result, good second half performance. Welbeck, Cleverley, Jones and Smalling all look promising, although De Gea's looking a bit too Taibi-ish for my liking.

 

[Murphy]

De Gea has to learn how to deal with crosses, he's probably not used to dealing with crosses in La Liga, also there's the physical aspect of the English Game he has to get used too. He needs a lot of improvment, Long and Dzeko shots should defienitley have been saved. He was lucky to keep a clean sheet tonight if you asked me, but I'm happy he did, because it also means my fantasy football defender Johnny Evans gets a clean sheet.

I have 53 points this week so far, hopefully I'll get a few extra with bonus points. Next week is Nani's last chance for me. 10 million is a lot to be spending on a player that has done fuck all so far.

 

[Dowdsy McDowds]

Utd 3 - 0 Spurs

Good result, good second half performance. Welbeck, Cleverley, Jones and Smalling all look promising, although De Gea's looking a bit too Taibi-ish for my liking.

Just as long as he didn't look like Carrol tonight He only had 1 flap and one spill but still had his body behind the ball for that. He's a pretty solid shot-stopper and had some great vision with his distribution tonight.

Jones looked very commanding at the back and Anderson had a fairly consistent game too. Was watching the game with a Spurs fan which was a lot of fun

 

[Dan E. Inferno]

Just as long as he didn't look like Carrol tonight He only had 1 flap and one spill but still had his body behind the ball for that. He's a pretty solid shot-stopper and had some great vision with his distribution tonight.

Jones looked very commanding at the back and Anderson had a fairly consistent game too. Was watching the game with a Spurs fan which was a lot of fun

I was watching with a spurs fan too actually. One who happened to confidently predict a 3-1 spurs win before kick off. Turned out to be a fun evening.

As for De Gea, you're spot on about the distribution, but he seems very shaky, I winced at every long shot coming his way. No harm done tonight though so I can't really complain. Got to give him some time to settle in. Agree with Anderson too. His best game for some time.

 

[Ming]

I just joined the fantasy league.

Spurs lose at Old Trafford again. De Gea's best game yet, he'll settle in soon. Is it me, or is Defoe not a big game player?

 

[Dowdsy McDowds]

I was watching with a spurs fan too actually. One who happened to confidently predict a 3-1 spurs win before kick off. Turned out to be a fun evening.

As for De Gea, you're spot on about the distribution, but he seems very shaky, I winced at every long shot coming his way. No harm done tonight though so I can't really complain. Got to give him some time to settle in. Agree with Anderson too. His best game for some time.

Spurs fans are fun!

Yeh admittedly when the first few shots were fired at him I was a bit anxious as to what could happen but he seemed to get more confidence from each shot that he dealt with. Arsenal aren't much of a crossing side so as long as the defence stands strong in front of him then he may gain even more confidence from that too. (Now watch them win on Sunday now I've said that)

The Spurs fan calls Anderson spastic because I was saying he always has a weird look on his face when he plays... then he went on to seal the game! Ooh it were good

 

[Dan E. Inferno]

Spurs fans are fun!

Yeh admittedly when the first few shots were fired at him I was a bit anxious as to what could happen but he seemed to get more confidence from each shot that he dealt with. Arsenal aren't much of a crossing side so as long as the defence stands strong in front of him then he may gain even more confidence from that too. (Now watch them win on Sunday now I've said that)

The Spurs fan calls Anderson spastic because I was saying he always has a weird look on his face when he plays... then he went on to seal the game! Ooh it were good

I loved the look on his face during his celebration too. During the slow-mo replay I just started cracking up.

I'm sure De Gea will grow on me as he gets more games and confidence. I think I just miss Van der Sar. It was the same when Schmeichel left. I never took to Barthez, Carrol etc.

 

[Dan E. Inferno]

Spoiler

There is definitely something wrong with this man. Decent player though.

In other news, Arsenal are being heavily linked with Eden Hazard in the media. £26mil apparently. Presumably a straight up replacement for Nasri, who will likely be leaving sometime during the week.