Dear Lariat: The Lariat's Advice Column

It's...Baylariat!

Team Finnley Baylor
I happen to think I'm awesome, so I'm starting an advice column here at Wrestlezone. Now, it's simple. If you have a life question you need advice about, I'll answer in the 'Dear Abbey' format, which is basically a letter. It's non-spam, so post your question and why you need advice about said question. I'll answer everyone in due time. The advice I will give is just that. It's not the gospel, nor is it backed up by any degrees. It's life experience-based advice that can be both helpful and humorous.

And if you don't need my help, then don't post. Dicks.


Sincerely,
Your friendly Lariat.
 
Dear Lariabby, ;)

When you look at traditional male/female roles, logic dictates that a man holds the door, pulls out a woman's chair, pays for meals, etc. Being married, some of these things are that of which I don't have to worry about, mostly all meals. But the holding of the door and pulling out of the chair mean something to me. Part of it was how I was raised, as I was taught that, but part of me just believes it shows my wife I care.

There-in lies the problem. My wife is a saint, but she often(more like never) says 'Thank you' when I hold the door or pull out her chair. She's amazing in every other way, I really couldn't ask for much more. Perhaps it's nitpicking, but the less she says 'Thank you' the less I feel like doing it for her.

We've discussed it, at length, and she always apologizes, and explains it was how she was raised. No thank you's were explained, it was expected of the man to do most things for the woman, so why thank them for doing their 'job'? Still, I've told her my concern in it, and she understood, said she would work on it, but yet, almost a year later, and nothing is changed.

I don't want to be 'That Guy" who gets on her about one thing, but it makes me feel unappreciated. My issue, whether wrong or how selfish it may appear I'm being, is that it can ruin evenings for me. But at this point, when discussion with friends, family, and other females, all who have given advice, hasn't worked.

Do you think this is something I should just let go, Love her for her faults like she does mine, or worth pursuing further?
 
Dear Lariabby, ;)

When you look at traditional male/female roles, logic dictates that a man holds the door, pulls out a woman's chair, pays for meals, etc. Being married, some of these things are that of which I don't have to worry about, mostly all meals. But the holding of the door and pulling out of the chair mean something to me. Part of it was how I was raised, as I was taught that, but part of me just believes it shows my wife I care.

There-in lies the problem. My wife is a saint, but she often(more like never) says 'Thank you' when I hold the door or pull out her chair. She's amazing in every other way, I really couldn't ask for much more. Perhaps it's nitpicking, but the less she says 'Thank you' the less I feel like doing it for her.

We've discussed it, at length, and she always apologizes, and explains it was how she was raised. No thank you's were explained, it was expected of the man to do most things for the woman, so why thank them for doing their 'job'? Still, I've told her my concern in it, and she understood, said she would work on it, but yet, almost a year later, and nothing is changed.

I don't want to be 'That Guy" who gets on her about one thing, but it makes me feel unappreciated. My issue, whether wrong or how selfish it may appear I'm being, is that it can ruin evenings for me. But at this point, when discussion with friends, family, and other females, all who have given advice, hasn't worked.

Do you think this is something I should just let go, Love her for her faults like she does mine, or worth pursuing further?

Dear LSN,

Let this go.

The thing is you shouldn't do this to be 'appreciated'. You should do chivalrous things out the goodness of your heart. It's almost as if she expects you to do those things, so she doesn't see the need to thank you because it's part of the routine, if you will.

If everything else is kosher in the relationship, then this is something that you can chalk up to her simply appreciating what you do, only silently. I'm from a region that is known for doing such things and not doing those things can be seen as being a jerk. So if you stop doing those things abruptly, she'll think something deeper is wrong and it'll cause unneeded friction.

Keep pulling the chair for her. Keep opening doors for her. And while your at it, add a peck on the cheek for good measure - just to let her know that it's cool if she doesn't say 'thank you'.

But don't let this make you paranoid that she doesn't appreciate you. She does. Or else she wouldn't have married you.



Sincerely,

The Lariat.
 
Dear Lariat,

What's the best way to feel settled in to a new country/city?

Is homesickness something I should fight or embrace?

More details are available if needed.
 
Dear Lariat,

What's the best way to feel settled in to a new country/city?

Is homesickness something I should fight or embrace?

More details are available if needed.


Dear Dowds,

Depends on your reason for being in said country. If you're traveling or vacationing, then you should try to find a local cab driver and have him point you to some great locations and places. If you fancy a drink, ask him where the best watering holes are. In all seriousness, unless you're in a war zone, simply take a walk around the city. If they have a transportation system, then use it to your advantage and go anywhere and everywhere. Carrying a map may cause you to be a target for pick pockets so make sure to read signs and such to avoid being lost.

And homesickness is something you should embrace because fighting an emotion is burying that emotion. Embracing it means you acknowledge your homesick and are moving forward, which is the best thing to do. Never 'fight' an emotion, unless that emotion is to do harm to yourself or others, which in that case you need to find a local emergency room.

But when in a new country, make the best of it. See the sites, eat fine foods, and if you're single, carry conversation with the females. You'll be just fine.



Sincerely,

The Lariat
 

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