Worst movie you've ever seen?

[enviousdominous]

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. The movie that made Sean Connery retire.

Honestly; I've never gotten Sean Connery's appeal. I get it, he was James Bond and he was in Highlander. Hunt For Red October was great as well. I've just never understood what makes him so significant when it seems to me that his movies are always carried more by the script and screenplay than they are his performance as an actor.

Sean Connery was in the absolute worst Sci-Fi movie that I've ever seen. This movie is what happens when a spectacular trailer for a movie rips you off and sells you poorly shined up shit. This movie is *cringe* Zardoz.

Watch this trailer, it's actually an awesome trailer:

[YOUTUBE]kbGVIdA3dx0[/YOUTUBE]

The worst I could say about that is that it's vague and silly, but it's still intriguing. After watching that trailer I HAD to watch that movie. I mean; Sean Connery is in it! How bad can it be?!

This movie builds itself up, in the most confusingly boring manner I've ever seen a movie build to a potentially thrilling conclusion. This ENTIRE movie is Sean Connery wearing a loincloth while searching for answers, and a bunch of assholes who laugh at the fact that he's so stupid.

SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT!

I AM ABOUT TO SHARE THE INTENSELY INSIGHTFUL MEANING BEHIND THE FANTASTIC EVENTS OF ZARDOZ! PREPARE YOUR MIND TO BE BLOWN OUT OF THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD! ALL WILL BE CLEAR TO YOU! YOU SHALL ACHEIVE GODLIKE STATUS!

Spoiler

People who live in a dystopian future found a copy of The Wizard of Oz, and modeled their culture after that of the citizens of Oz. Zardoz is a portmanteau of Wizard and Oz.

 

[Dan Severn's Moustache]

I thought the movie that made Sean Connery retire was The Avengers (the one based on a UK TV show, unrelated to Marvel). I could be wrong on that however.

As for worst comedies, easily Freddy Got Fingered. Give me Dana Carvey in a turtle suit anyday over that drek.

 

[Mighty NorCal]

Honestly; I've never gotten Sean Connery's appeal. I get it, he was James Bond and he was in Highlander. Hunt For Red October was great as well. I've just never understood what makes him so significant when it seems to me that his movies are always carried more by the script and screenplay than they are his performance as an actor.

Sean Connery was in the absolute worst Sci-Fi movie that I've ever seen. This movie is what happens when a spectacular trailer for a movie rips you off and sells you poorly shined up shit. This movie is *cringe* Zardoz.

Watch this trailer, it's actually an awesome trailer:

[YOUTUBE]kbGVIdA3dx0[/YOUTUBE]

The worst I could say about that is that it's vague and silly, but it's still intriguing. After watching that trailer I HAD to watch that movie. I mean; Sean Connery is in it! How bad can it be?!

This movie builds itself up, in the most confusingly boring manner I've ever seen a movie build to a potentially thrilling conclusion. This ENTIRE movie is Sean Connery wearing a loincloth while searching for answers, and a bunch of assholes who laugh at the fact that he's so stupid.

SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT!

I AM ABOUT TO SHARE THE INTENSELY INSIGHTFUL MEANING BEHIND THE FANTASTIC EVENTS OF ZARDOZ! PREPARE YOUR MIND TO BE BLOWN OUT OF THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD! ALL WILL BE CLEAR TO YOU! YOU SHALL ACHEIVE GODLIKE STATUS!

Spoiler

People who live in a dystopian future found a copy of The Wizard of Oz, and modeled their culture after that of the citizens of Oz. Zardoz is a portmanteau of Wizard and Oz.

............How the fuck does THAT play out??

 

[enviousdominous]

............How the fuck does THAT play out??

I'll answer that, but I can't guarantee that my answer won't inspire a million more questions.

Sean Connery plays a guy who's part of a race of savages who enjoy riding on horses and causing mayhem wherever they can cause it. I think they're supposed to be at war with another tribe of savages, but that never seems to pan out.

Sean Connery's group is often visited by a giant stone head that preaches random commandments and barfs out firearms. This head blurts out lines like "THE GUN IS GOOD! THE PENIS IS EVIL!" The head floats through the air to travel back and forth from wherever.

One day Sean decides to climb into the head's gaping maw and hides in a pile of sand until it takes off. Some arrogant asshole guy is hanging out in the head, so Sean throws him out for looking like a dork. The guy spouts some pretentious gibberish (there's TONS of that in this movie) and falls to his death.

The floating head takes Sean to what looks like the set of Pride and Prejudice, and he wanders around there before falling into another dimension and having his memories dissected by some people who are technically immortal and it all plays out like a terrible flashback episode of a tv show.

Fast forward to the end, Sean Connery discovers an old library where my spoiler from above becomes known. So, you would have sat through this long ass movie to have a big reveal that wasn't ever clearly being built toward only to have the ending I described above.

 

[Mighty NorCal]

So....the reveal is never even prevelant or tangible through the rest of the movie??? What the fuck is the point of that then??

 

[Hollywood Naitch]

Crank 2 has to be up there, and I loved the first one.

Actually, Moulin Rouge was fucking painful to sit through. It's probably not that bad of a film, but I DESPISED it more than I can explain

 

[Da Prophet]

Pan which was released last year is the worst movie I've ever seen.

Peter Pan is the greatest character of all time and that movie uses none of the elements which make the character fantastic.

Pan can either be good or you can use him as he should be and have him act like the most evil teenage overlord in the world. He's got an army with superpowers, he kidnaps children from their bedrooms, he has a knife on him at all times and the kid can fly!

It's amazing to me that people can't write a good story with this character. Horrible movie because the source material is excellent and ruining what is already amazing is truly the worst kind of movie.

Even the 2003 live action film was excellent and they had good Peter Pan. It's not that hard to figure this shit out.

 

[enviousdominous]

Who loves a good rock opera? Personally, I think they're fucking stupid. I might be arguing semantics here, but anything that calls itself a "rock opera" is horrible in every case where I've encountered it. Some movies are "musical films" which I'm perfectly fine with (Pink Floyd: The Wall, Hard Days Night). Operas have come to be known for occurring in opera halls with a massive ensemble of musicians and music in a traditionally classical style. To seem fancy, some movies tack "opera" onto their name to seem more relevant. "Rock opera" and *ugh* "hip hopera" sounds fucking stupid, and movies that adopt those terms are consistently fucking stupid.

In 1975 one of the most popular bands in the world -- The Who -- released a "rock opera" called Tommy to theaters.

I should admit right now that I'm not a big Who fan. Eminence Front is a cool little driving song, but most of their music sounds to me like music that's so hacked together that Led Zeppelin wouldn't even touch it.

Any-who, this movie tells the story of a young boy (Tommy) who witnesses his long lost father being mistakenly murdered by his adoptive father. That's the beginning, the rest of the movie well... it's something I suppose. I watched this movie a few times to see if I could gather what's actually happening, but this one is a duzy.

The best I can gather is that Tommy goes on a wild acid trip, joins a cult that worships Marilyn Monroe confused, starts believing that he's Jesus Christ, and convinces all of humanity to commit suicide by playing pinball until they all starve to death. Somehow all of that stretches for two hours, and Frankenstein confused gets a young girl pregnant but ditches her for a lucrative career as a country musician. Jack Nicholson and Ann-Margret are in this movie, in scenes that I suspect were too stupid for Carnal Knowledge.

Watching this movie is like being shown that what looks funny-bad in print can actually be annoying-bad when presented in film.

The worst scene in this movie (and that's saying something) is one where Roger Daltrey as Tommy is sitting on a mobile piano playing it with his feet. Now, it's poorly implied that he's playing the piano with his feet. Piano music is playing, but he's just bonking keys clumsily with his feet.

This movie earned to Academy Award nominations and was recognized as "Rock Movie of the Year" at the Rock Music Awards.

 

[Fire Marshall Bill]

The Whole Ten Yards is in there. I paid 1 cent for that movie and still want a refund. I thought, "I loved the first one and it's only 1 penny. It can't be that bad." It was.

 

[Alex]

I'd say the Clash Of The Titans remake was pretty bad.

I love the original 80s version, stop motion and all. But there's something about the remake I just don't like. Maybe it's how much they changed it from the original story (the 80s version did it as well but it was relatively true to the original) or maybe it's because Sam Worthington is an incredibly dull actor. Either way I haven't watched it since buying the DVD in 2011ish. I may go back and watch it (as well as Wrath Of The Titans) to see if it's better than I remember

 

[Wrestlingaholic]

Batman & Robin
Tomb Raider
Going Overboard
Boat Trip
Fantastic Four (last year's one)

All pretty awful

The worst is probably Going Overboard. I'm not one of those who completely shits on Adam Sandler. In the mid-1990s he made a series of decent films: Bulletproof, Billy Maddison, the Wedding Singer, Big Daddy, the Waterboy, Happy Gilmore were all highly enjoyable. So when I saw the DVD of Going Overboard in Computer Exchange (now CEX, a UK 2nd hand game/film chain) for £3 ($5) I thought I'd go for it.

A waste of five bucks. Absolutely awful. Sandler and Billy Zane should have been ashamed of themselves. A 'comedy' without a single laugh. It actually makes you wonder how Sandler ever got another film commissioned.

 

[Alex]

Napoleon Dynamite.

I still don't get the appeal of that movie. Everywhere I read said it was comedic gold. I think I laughed once.

 

[Papa Pillman]

Unless I missed it, I can't believe no one has said Titanic yet.

Its not just the most overrated movie of all time, it is literally the worst. Zero character development, zero sensible plot advancement, very little plot to even advance(which is astounding considering how long it needlessly drones on), dialogue that makes Attack Of The Clones look like a best original screenplay contender, it elicits laughs that do nothing to help the film as they are entirely unintentional, and I could continue.

What is it intended to even be? Its not art. Its not even typically large scale Hollywood fluff like most of Cameron's previous films had been. Its not really an action movie, not a disaster movie, and despite the terribly forced love story it doesn't even really hold up as a lamely executed chick flick with a bloated budget. I'll get angry, potentially homicidally so, about its mere existence if I were to continue typing this paragraph, so I'll leave my disdain at that, despite it really being the tip of the iceberg about my feelings(no pun intended, but at least that's a better line than anything actually written into the Titanic script).

 

[Radical Canadian Goose]

The first movie that I had to turn off was Cabin Boy. The mid 90's crap fest with Chris Elliott will always be remembered as my least favourite movie

 

[Kodo Sawaki]

Unless I missed it, I can't believe no one has said Titanic yet.

Its not just the most overrated movie of all time, it is literally the worst. Zero character development, zero sensible plot advancement, very little plot to even advance(which is astounding considering how long it needlessly drones on), dialogue that makes Attack Of The Clones look like a best original screenplay contender, it elicits laughs that do nothing to help the film as they are entirely unintentional, and I could continue.

What is it intended to even be? Its not art. Its not even typically large scale Hollywood fluff like most of Cameron's previous films had been. Its not really an action movie, not a disaster movie, and despite the terribly forced love story it doesn't even really hold up as a lamely executed chick flick with a bloated budget. I'll get angry, potentially homicidally so, about its mere existence if I were to continue typing this paragraph, so I'll leave my disdain at that, despite it really being the tip of the iceberg about my feelings(no pun intended, but at least that's a better line than anything actually written into the Titanic script).

You have to understand that when the movie has comed out it in 1997 it was pretty impressive in standards. It was sureal to film disaster like Titanic in that standards in that time. So you got to give it to Cameroon for that. Overated in terms of that cringeworthy lovestory where you think anyone from aristocrats would even look anybody from lower class, sure, but it was filming masterpiece in that time.

 

[Hyorinmaru]

My least favorite/worst movies is the Bourne trilogy.

Good action movies and Matt Damon does a fantastic job but after reading the books they're nothing but a giant steaming pile of disappointment

 

[Poop Master Flex]

I completely forgot Passion of The Christ, not because I'm anti religion but because it's literally watching a guy get tortured for 2 hours, the fact that it was Jesus doesn't make it better somehow. I don't want to see a jew get horribly tortured and even if I did that's why Schindlers List and The Boy in the Striped Pajamas exist.

 

[SSJPhenom]

It has to be The Last Airbender. That movie had the potential to be so much more than it was. Should've been the next great Hollywood trilogy but M. Night however it's spelled fucked it up. I mean, all he had to do was literally follow the show and then just pour money into special effects and it would've been awesome. I still don't know how he fucked that one up.

 

[Dirk]

Apparently, I saw the worst movie in recent history. I thought R.I.P.D. was pretty funny and Jeff Bridges was hilarious!

(..."the song's called 'Better Man'.")

 

[Dmbfantomas]

My Giant is the worst movie ever. There are no redeeming qualities to it, it feels like it goes on forever, Gheorghe Mureșan is The Great Khali of acting, it was clearly a bad idea that they made anyway.

 

[A11oftheLights]

1 night in paris

 

[Miko]

That latest Terminator film can suck my cunt

 

[Alex]

That latest Terminator film can suck my cunt

I haven't seen it yet but judging by the Cinemasins video on it and reading the plot it sounds like a convoluted mess. Makes me feel better for liking Salvation.

 

[Big Nick Dudley]

Obviously the majority of you missed Joe Dirt 2. Congratulations, seriously.

 

[Dirk]

That latest Terminator film can suck my cunt

I'm going to see it to believe it. I simply can't believe it's that bad, because because the trailer!!!11!!!1...1

Everybody online and non-imaginary tells me it's shite on a crusty roll, but just like so many regrettable actions, this is one mistake that begs to be made.

Obviously the majority of you missed Joe Dirt 2. Congratulations, seriously.

Haven't seen, but I wasn't too taken with the first one, either. Have you seen The Master of Disguise, though?