Winter is Coming - The Night is Dark and Full of Spoilers

[Good Golly It's Ollie]

The Valonqar is surely to be Jaime.

See this is where I almost feel that it's too obvious for it to be either Jaime or Tyrion. Isn't there a bit about how the translation of valonqar is literally "the younger sibling" rather than "your little brother". It could be a red herring (you may notice that I love these).

Sandor Clegane, any Stark kid not named Robb, one of the Sand Snakes, or a whole number of characters could fit the bill. It'd be a worthy "hah you thought it would be x but it was actually y" moment.

Speaking of which, I have a strange thought about Sandor and a certain wrestling character.

Very tall? Check.
Has a thing about fire? Check.
Even more monstrous older brother who inflicted burns? Check.
Basically Kane
Is Sandor Clegane

 

[Барбоса]

See this is where I almost feel that it's too obvious for it to be either Jaime or Tyrion. Isn't there a bit about how the translation of valonqar is literally "the younger sibling" rather than "your little brother". It could be a red herring (you may notice that I love these)

The prophecy about Cersei is...

"And when your tears have drowned you, the valonqar shall wrap his hands about your pale white throat and choke the life from you."

"Valonqar" is High Valyrian for "little brother," so it would point to either Jaime or Tyrion.

However, I could see an argument that the prophecy does not specify Cersei's valonqar just a valonqar, which would open up multiple prospects - Stannis, Bran, Rickon, Jon Snow, the Hound to name a few, although my favoured suspect from that line of thought would be the tom boy Arya.

 

[Alastor]

A lot of Cercei's decision making was also influenced' by Maggy's prophecies when they keep becoming true. She is also a classic case of princess syndrome by well being a princess. Her chapters are interesting because of how much she actively fuck things up. She fucked things up so badly that even people that put her there to fuck things up are surprised at how fast she is doing it.

I think the Valonqar being Jamie is the best from a storytelling viewpoint. The brother she loves is the brother who kills her. If we don't take it as only Cercei's blood brother/sibling, my bet is on Stannis since at least he is still Cercei's brother by marriage and is the younger brother of Robert. If not then any Freys could be the Valonqar.

 

[Барбоса]

Good news from the land of GoT...

GRRM's next book has a release date.

Spoiler

It is not Winds of Winter

 

[Dowdsy McDowds]

 

[Alastor]

Good news from the land of GoT...

GRRM's next book has a release date.

Spoiler

It is not Winds of Winter

I hate you for this. That is all.

 

[Miko]

Fuck that whole woiaf project. Fuck tpatq as well as trportkb. Fuck that all those shit side projects about boring ******** Targs and boring dances of boring Dragons (D&E excepted as they're awesome) is making me wait for the outcome of the battle of ice, where there are no dragons or Targs but genuine excitement! Fuck abbreviations!

 

[Good Golly It's Ollie]

Fuck that whole woiaf project. Fuck tpatq as well as trportkb. Fuck that all those shit side projects about boring ******** Targs and boring dances of boring Dragons (D&E excepted as they're awesome) is making me wait for the outcome of the battle of ice, where there are no dragons or Targs but genuine excitement! Fuck abbreviations!

When the time for your next name change comes around, I suggest you go with Miko's Is The Fury.

 

[Dowdsy McDowds]

I don't think we've mentioned it yet but Bran and Hodor being omitted from the 5th season? Good decision? Anyone else whose story can be put on the shelf for a season?

 

[It's Damn Real!]

I mean, what choice do they have? Their actual progression was fast-tracked for television. Anything more and they'd be telling a story that has yet to actually be written (or, well, published).

 

[Good Golly It's Ollie]

I don't think we've mentioned it yet but Bran and Hodor being omitted from the 5th season? Good decision? Anyone else whose story can be put on the shelf for a season?

The F? Seriously?

Man, I thought it was moving a little further along on their end than in the books, but jeez.

Daenerys seems a bit ahead as well, but I don't think you could shelf her for a season. They moved through the slave cities/liberation stuff kinda fast.

 

[Барбоса]

Apparently Bran will appear at some stage in Season 5. No Hodor though.

 

[Miko]

Could shelf the brothel scenes... I still think the Ironborn will have a tremendous trimming. With Bran they can just do creepy shit with trees and a voiceover, less Bran aint too bad, since Lord Bloodraven was a roaring dissapointment.

 

[Барбоса]

Bran seeing through the eyes of the weir trees some more in the show could be a treat.

We might even get more Eddard.

 

[Miko]

Anything that means more Sean Bean is a-okay with me

 

[Dowdsy McDowds]

It would be interesting if Bran can see Eddard but can't see Caitlyn to further tease a Stoneheart appearance. Don't quite know how they'd explain it though unless along the lines of 'he's still learning how to use his powers' or something.

Also, will they keep the Hound out of the picture for most of the season too?

 

[Miko]

I should imagine so, he's dead. Sandor Clegane is dead.



I am a bit concerned though, it looks like, unless there is going to be some big time make-up do, then Doran Martell is going to be better looking than Oberyn... Calling it now, Dorne will just be a massive brothel exposition scene, the gout is actually a lie to convince the world that Doran is weak but in reality he is even more sex crazy and deadly than Oberyn. Oberyn Martell on steroids and viagra, also Ellaria is actually his paramour but merely acted the part for Oberyn, or something. Plus he has 16 daughters instead of 8.

 

[Барбоса]

I should imagine so, he's dead. Sandor Clegane is dead.

Or is it that just "the Hound" is dead...

I am a bit concerned though, it looks like, unless there is going to be some big time make-up do, then Doran Martell is going to be better looking than Oberyn... Calling it now, Dorne will just be a massive brothel exposition scene, the gout is actually a lie to convince the world that Doran is weak but in reality he is even more sex crazy and deadly than Oberyn. Oberyn Martell on steroids and viagra, also Ellaria is actually his paramour but merely acted the part for Oberyn, or something. Plus he has 16 daughters instead of 8.

I would not be at all surprised if Doran does turn out to be masquerading behind a largely faked case of gout.

While it might be an unnecessary addition to the plotting, him being a full on co-conspirator with Illyrio and Varys could be made to fit the story and would explain how he had been working to bring down Tywin Lannister for all these years despite appearing to have not done anything at all.

 

[Miko]

Or is it that just "the Hound" is dead...



I would not be at all surprised if Doran does turn out to be masquerading behind a largely faked case of gout.

While it might be an unnecessary addition to the plotting, him being a full on co-conspirator with Illyrio and Varys could be made to fit the story and would explain how he had been working to bring down Tywin Lannister for all these years despite appearing to have not done anything at all.

You know, I was certain I actually typed "the Hound" and thought I was being really clever...

I think Doran being in it on his own as he is in the books would be quite convoluted for a tv show as basically straight forward as GOT is, which lets face it it is. So having him be part of the Varys/Illyrio plot would make sense, since it puts Dorne in a position as if they were playing from the start instead of a marriage pact that at times felt an awful lot like a retcon.

Whatever Doran, just do something, I am convinced that if it weren't for the fact that they were up against some of the most terrible people in the series, the Dornish brothers would be shitty human beings in their own right, I mean, Oberyn poisons people for the hell of it and slaps women around while he is taking their children away from, oh wait, show Oberyn is a paragon of virtue, ain't he?

Spoiler

that Water Gardens speech really troubles me though, "highborn and lowborn children look the same..." and although he might be a sad sounding emo cunt, I am fairly sure Darkstar is a Doran stooge... Worried about Myrcella now.

So stop masquerading Doran you gouty cunt and make this story interesting again.

 

[Miko]

*Doran lounges in brothel surrounded by naked men and women*

"I am really sad MY BROTHER Oberyn Martell is dead, after having his head crushed by THE MOUNTAIN who raped OUR SISTER before crushing her head as well. *sigh* this is how we Dornish grieve, especially me, Doran Martell."

*One of the prostitutes leans over*

"Hey Doran, how many people can you fit on your cock?"

"Side ways or length ways? Never mind, our envoy from Kings Landing is waiting, I've got to put my gouty legs on"

*Next scene shows a wincing Doran being wheeled out by a stoic Hotah*



Eurgh, I am cringing already.

 

[Барбоса]

Yeah, the whole Darkstar thing is somewhat intriguing.

He is recalled as being cruel but would he really go into business for himself at that exact moment when ambushed by Areo Hotah? There would not seem to be anything to gain personally from such a move so you would imagine that he is acting in concert with someone.

 

[Барбоса]

*Doran lounges in brothel surrounded by naked men and women*

"I am really sad MY BROTHER Oberyn Martell is dead, after having his head crushed by THE MOUNTAIN who raped OUR SISTER before crushing her head as well. *sigh* this is how we Dornish grieve, especially me, Doran Martell."

*One of the prostitutes leans over*

"Hey Doran, how many people can you fit on your cock?"

"Side ways or length ways? Never mind, our envoy from Kings Landing is waiting, I've got to put my gouty legs on"

*Next scene shows a wincing Doran being wheeled out by a stoic Hotah*



Eurgh, I am cringing already.

So Doran Martell is a Dornish Pycelle?

 

[Miko]

Yeah, the whole Darkstar thing is somewhat intriguing.

He is recalled as being cruel but would he really go into business for himself at that exact moment when ambushed by Areo Hotah? There would not seem to be anything to gain personally from such a move so you would imagine that he is acting in concert with someone.

Well, look at it this way, Balon is going to hunt him down, Hotah is sizing up Balon, what happened to the last KingsGuard Hotah sized up? Personally I'd like a Balon vs Darkstar fight, since apparently Darkstar is supposed to be Jaime Lannister/Barristan Selmy level of deadly, which makes his comments about Arthur Dayne interesting (not that Arthur Dayne matters at all, thanks HBO for clearing that up, so Dawn =/= Lighbringer. Although I did like his and Duncan the Tall's shout-out with the White book). But like Lynn Corbray, he's a bit too much of a caricature at the moment. Anyway thats a ramble, as I was saying, I reckon Balon is getting a longaxe through the neck, unless Darkstar is yet another individual plotter trying to bring down Dorne or some sort of shit, then his attack doesn't make much in the way of sense.

I guess Dorne is slightly more interesting than I gave it credit for, but with incoming battle up North with the outcome up in the air, I just can't care at all.

So Doran Martell is a Dornish Pycelle?

For an extra few more gratuitous titty scenes, would you doubt it? I am thinking Pycelle crossed with Black Dynamite.

With the apparent trimming down of the Greyjoys (my bets on Balon playing the Euron role from now on) and the omission of some important Dornish, do you reckon we'll be seeing a certain potential Targaryen/Blackfyre/Brightflame/nobody/Illyrio's son with a red-headed companion landing any time soon, or ever?

 

[Барбоса]

With the apparent trimming down of the Greyjoys (my bets on Balon playing the Euron role from now on) and the omission of some important Dornish, do you reckon we'll be seeing a certain potential Targaryen/Blackfyre/Brightflame/nobody/Illyrio's son with a red-headed companion landing any time soon, or ever?

The removing of that part of the story in the show would see to depend on just how much importance GRRM really places on Aegon.

If his appearance and actions are really just a way to create more conflict for Danaerys both with him and even Selmy, rather than him becoming a major player in the fight for the Throne, then I could easily see him removed altogether. His introduction was a terrible piece of story-telling after all, almost tacked on as part of Tyrion's journey east.

 

[Good Golly It's Ollie]

With the apparent trimming down of the Greyjoys (my bets on Balon playing the Euron role from now on) and the omission of some important Dornish, do you reckon we'll be seeing a certain potential Targaryen/Blackfyre/Brightflame/nobody/Illyrio's son with a red-headed companion landing any time soon, or ever?

I think it depends on whether Young Griff turns out to be that important (or legit).

I hope he is in one way, because if not then there wasn't much point in introducing him. However if he is for real then he gets in Daenerys' way and she's already behind schedule.