klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Saturday
Summerslams buyrate is likely down. A bit surprising actually.
Angle has signed a one year extension with TNA.
Steamboats health seems to be doing well. Hes not all better yet but hes improving which is a very good thing obviously.
Sunday
Hell in a Cell 2010
Date: October 3, 2010
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker
This is being written the morning after the show aired so I do know the results before the review is written. The two week build for this show makes me think its going to suck. We also only have five scheduled matches for tonight so there wasnt much to set up coming into last night. The Cell should be enough to make the show draw is what WWE is thinking I guess but the buyrates would beg to differ. Lets get to it.
Guess what the video is about. Just take a guess.
The set looks cool as it has a bunch of stuff designed to look like a Cell wall. I like that.
US Title: Daniel Bryan vs. The Miz vs. John Morrison
Apparently this is a submissions only match even though the name is just submissions count anywhere so its a bit misleading. Pretty clear Bryan is going to retain here even though he comes out second. Miz has the jacket back again too along with a mic. Hes called the Kenny Powers of the show and since hes one of my favorite posters thats a good sign. Miz says without him no one would know who the other guys are. He might be onto something there actually.
Both faces chase Miz to start us off and we get the standoff. Bryan gets a leg lock on him after a nice little wrestling sequence and we go to the floor without it being broken. Thats a nice little touch. We hit the formula of two guys fighting while the other is down. Morrison hits the Tarantula but Bryan makes the save. He then locks in Cattle Mutilation for like 4 seconds which probably blew up the IWC even though it wasnt anything that special. A leg bar gets a bigger pop if that tells you anything.
Miz grabs a similar hold in an attempt to counter and they kick each other in the face a lot. Morrison hits Starship Pain (not called that for some reason) onto both guys to break it up. Haas of Pain (LOVE that hold) by Morrison is broken up by Miz. Corkscrew plancha hits (and I use that term VERY loosely) Miz and we head into the crowd. Miz gets a wristlock and Morrison breaks it up by punching Miz in the face. Thats always awesome.
Bryan is gone and in the ring for a good while here as the former tag team fights up the stairs. Miz gets a sick looking Dragon Sleeper type hold around a barricade and Bryan makes the save. I know I say that a lot but thats what were getting a lot of: a hold for a few seconds and a save. We fight up to the stage a bit with Miz in control. Morrison throws Miz behind the stage and uses the barrier for a springboard to kick Bryan.
Miz literally shoves an anvil case at Morrison to take him down. This is kind of hard to call as its not quite a mess but theres no flow to it in sight. Bryan is more or less dead on the stage after Miz shoves him on the anvil case. We get it: Morrison does some French training. You dont have to explain it to us every 9 seconds. Skull Crushing Finale to Morrison on the floor and hes out cold.
Bryan and Miz get into a wrestling sequence on the stage and its a double clothesline. Morrison is up somehow and climbs up the lighting grid and climbs onto the Cell set. BIG ASS DIVE takes both of them out. How often do you get a THAT WAS AWESOME chant in WWE? See what happens when you have the young guys do their exciting stuff? Jomo gets a Texas Cloverleaf on Miz but heres Riley for the save. A cameraman gets taken out giving us the eternally fun camera shot. Miz goes after Bryan while Riley has Morrison preoccupied and walks into the LeBell Lock for the tap out.
Cole admits Bryan is for real. He toned down the Miz love in this match and it helped a lot. The repetition of stuff isnt his fault for the most part though so I cant blame him for that.
Ad for Legendary. Im surprised this is the first one since were almost 25 minutes into the show.
We recap Orton vs. Sheamus, which really shows how stupid it is to have a Cell match for the sake of having a Cell match. Consider the first two matches. The idea of Michaels vs. Taker was that Shawn kept escaping Taker or having help from him. Shawns psychology in that match is some of the best ever as he was running the whole time and getting in shots where he could. It was like he was trapped in hell and this was Takers ultimate revenge.
The second was Mankind vs. Taker where the idea was they absolutely hated one another. The match happened so that they could absolutely annihilate each other and one man would not leave the Cell on his own. Those matches WORKED. This match is happening between two guys that arent fond of each other but are having this match because the schedule says we need to have it. Cena vs. Barrett could have a point to it as that feud has been going on for months. Taker vs. Kane belongs in there. This should be last man standing or a regular cage match or something, not Hell in a Cell.
Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Sheamus
This Cell is taller and a bit more narrow. This stat sums things up very well: last years HIAC show was on October 4 so in one year weve had 5 Hell in Cell match. In thirteen years prior to that we had 16. That sums up this era better than anything I can tell you. Also tell me how this sounds: Sheamus is in a Hell in a Cell match. I like Sheamus but he DOES NOT belong on this level yet.
Another interesting stat: Orton is the only person to ever win the title inside the Cell. Thats rather surprising actually. Yeah they cover themselves by saying Orton is the only person to win the WWE Title in there. Unify the damn belts already. Having two world champions is so freaking stupid sounding. Also there is a Hell in a Cell match second on the card. Does this just sound wrong to anyone else?
Loud RKO chant to start. I didnt know there were so many old movie fans in todays audience. Striker talks about speaking with HHH via e-mail. Holy subtle hint Batman! Yeah Im stretching here since the first 15 minutes of this arent going to mean anything since this isnt going to end quickly at all. We head to the floor for about a second and the stomping begins for two. NICE slingshot shoulder block by Sheamus to take out Orton.
Orton gets rammed into the cage on the floor and Sheamus breaks out the steps. Now Orton gets a shot with them and we head back into the ring. Theres no heat to this at all as it just doesnt belong in there. Its a glorified street fight with a cage thrown in for fun. Striker explains why the ribs are a good thing for Sheamus to go after since the RKO is a bit weaker if the ribs are hurt.
Turnbuckle is ripped off as Sheamus is in control. He gets a gutbuster onto the steps which have gotten far more focus in this match than the cage so far. And now, in a match based around terror and chaos and pain, we get an EVIL chinlock. Cole points out that Orton is the champion and Sheamus is the challenger. Well usually when one is champion the other is the challenger so at least he can follow basic concepts. Hes reached the level of an average 4 year old!
Orton makes his comeback and the fans get behind him again. The crowd is rather hot here which is a very good thing and is helping this match along. They want an RKO apparently. Backbreaker out of nowhere and Orton slaps the mat. Make sure theres an orthopedic specialist in the building! There come the stairs again as Striker points out how stupid it is to use the steps when hes surrounded by steel.
Orton counters again and hits a powerslam on the steps. ITS NOT A DAMN SCOOP SLAM COLE! Its good for two either way. The elevated DDT on the steps of course doesnt hit but the one on the floor sort of does. RKO is blocked and Orton hits the post. This isnt a bad match but its just boring for a Cell match. Make this a street fight and its far better. Irish Curse, the backbreaker, hits on the steps. Its on Sheamus knee though so do the steps make that big of a difference?
Brogue Kick gets two and Sheamus face is AWESOME looking as his eyes bug completely out. A bunch of chair shots get two. A big chair shot misses and Orton gets the RKO to pop the crowd. The pale one rolls to the floor though so we dont get a cover. Punt misses and theres a second Brogue Kick on the floor. Were just transitioning from move to move here with nothing in between it. RKO on the steps ends it. Id buy that a lot more if Sheamus head actually hit the steps but you cant have it all I guess.
Orton climbs the Cell afterwards and poses with the belt. Cole wants it renamed the Vipers Playground. Striker in a near deadpan voice: Not yet. Striker is the voice of reasoning. Thats almost scary.
Ad for Bragging Rights ad. Its in three weeks. OH JOY! Its also the night after a Lesnar fight. Yeah thats not going to bomb at all. Nexus is advertised for it too.
Josh has the NXT girls in the back and theyre asked if theyre nervous. Nexus interrupts them thank goodness.
Albertos ring announcer brings him out. Again, his announcer has an announcer. Thats saying a lot. I do wonder where they get these cars. Cole wants to have his babies I think. Lawler wants to know if he can push 1 for English. That was rather amusing for a change. Alberto talks about beating up Rey and Christian. Gee wouldnt Rey vs. Alberto be nice tonight? Some basic hometown sports jokes dont really work.
Cue Edges music as Cole complains. Striker says Edge has over a dozen championships. He has over two dozen but why play him up I guess? Yeah hes a face now. Edge runs down the stupid things Alberto has done which are rather true. They get into a Spanglish argument of all things. A Canadian is arguing with a Mexican in an American ring. The first W is indeed correct. And here comes the All American-American. HE MADE THE SAME JOKE I DID!
Swagger points out that the mascot on Smackdown was in fact a human and not a real eagle. Could they please decide if hes a serious or comedy character? Swagger jumps him and Alberto bails. We have an e-mail and this is a match now. The computer has been upgraded it seems. Edge has to make a public apology tomorrow on Raw but this is a match right now.
Jack Swagger vs. Edge
Good thing Edge was in his wrestling gear. Swagger dominates to start as he had an advantage before we started. Swagger goes for the ankle which makes sense twice because of Edges ankle injury and the ankle lock. He keeps Edge on the mat and is in complete control. We hit the apron and Swagger tries to hit a German to the floor. Add that to the international joke from earlier.
When that of course doesnt work because it would nearly kill Edge he switches to an abdominal stretch using the ropes. Edges eye is swollen up. Ankle lock is attempted as we touch on the ankle injury again which Lawler almost sarcastically says you told us that already. Edge gets us to even but gets caught in the ankle lock on the floor. The running up the corner belly to belly is blocked as Edge hits a missile dropkick, which is a pure face move.
Kind of an odd match here. Its certainly not bad but its not that great for some reason. Belly to belly by Swagger but his arm is hurt. Swagger might be bleeding from the mouth a bit. Vader Bomb misses and Edge gets the Edgecution. Spear misses and Swagger gets the powerbomb for TWO. I dont remember anyone ever kicking out of that. I think they mistime something as Swagger goes for a Dragon Screw Leg Whip while Edge goes for an Enziguri, making it look AWFUL. Ankle lock goes on but Edge gets a quick counter and spear for the pin. That ended very fast after the knee thing so maybe they were just playing it safe.
Otunga has a plan to help Barrett.
Recap the Nexus angle which Im sure youre all familiar with by now.
John Cena vs. Wade Barrett
If Barrett loses Nexus is disbanded. If Cena loses he has to join the Nexus. Its kind of amazing that this is I believe his 5th singles match and his first PPV singles match. You cant say theyre not pushing this guy to the moon. Long feeling out period to start us off here. Cena gets his dropkick for his first big offensive maneuver. Barrett drops an F Bomb but not an audible one.
We slug it out a bit and Cena sets for the FU but Slater comes out as a distraction. Barrett throws the Nexus out which is an interesting touch. Barrett controls and hits a second rope elbow drop for two. Their colors are now black and gold instead of black and yellow. Neckbreaker gets two as Barrett is finally getting to showcase his offense. This is already his longest match and its not even 8 minutes long.
Dueling chants begin and you can tell its mainly men shouting for Barrett and higher pitched voices chanting for Cena. Cena makes his comeback and he initiates his finishing sequence. Nexus surrounds the ring as the definition of interference is getting kind of shaky here. Big Show comes out and leads the charge of the locker room who come out to beat down Nexus. It says a lot when it takes about 15 people including Big Show to beat up four glorified jobbers. And its not jobbers coming out to beat them up. You have guys like Show, Kofi, Ziggler, Bryan, Hart Dynasty and MVP, as in former and current champions.
Wasteland is blocked and this is a pretty solid back and forth match. Also its good that they got rid of the Nexus about halfway through. FU is blocked and Barrett hits a butterfly suplex for two. Boss Man Slam gets two. Fameasser off the top is blocked the first time but Cena gets it for two. Barrett gets Wasteland out of nowhere for two. Cole is WAY into this. Lawler says something and I had forgotten he was there.
FU hits out of nowhere for two as were into the good part of this match now. STF goes on as Cena looks extra quick here. Cole is SCREAMING at Barrett to tap out. A planted fan runs into the ring, allowing the guy that appears to be Husky Harris to pop up and blast Cena in the head, allowing Barrett to get the pin and kill the souls of millions of children. This is likely Otungas plan, which he didnt run past Barrett.
Nexus puts Barrett on their shoulders as the celebration is on. On a replay the fan that distracted things appears to be Michael McGillicutty but I cant tell for sure. The fan that hit Cena was definitely Harris but hes not named. Cena takes a long time to leave and various ages of fans are STUNNED.
Paper Jamz ad, the same from .two weeks ago.
Josh is in the back and runs into Paul Bearer. He cuts a short and cryptic promo about having his own master plan.
Make-A-Wish package from Smackdown.
Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Natalya
Michelle looks good in her gold shorts if nothing else. Striker tries to claim Michelle is the best in ring working woman ever. Im not even going to make a joke about that because its not fair to make fun of people that stupid. Michelle dominates for a bit with leg based offence but Natalya takes over with power stuff. This is rather boring if you couldnt tell. Michelle accidently drills Layla and Natalya gets a rollup for two. Sharpshooter goes on, is countered into a heel hook and is countered again. Then Layla throws in her shoe for the DQ.
Recap of Taker vs. Kane which Im sure you know by now also.
Smackdown World Title: Kane vs. Undertaker
Taker coming out with Paul Bearer just feels .right. They brawl outside of the Cell to start and Kane controls. Apparently this is before the match starts. Ah there we go. Theres the bell. Kane gets a chair from under the ring and beats the hell out of Taker. We fight on the floor again and this is more of a brawl than a match WHICH IS THE FUCKING IDEA. Lots of leg work by Kane which makes sense here.
A big boot eats cage though and Kane is in trouble. Taker hits the leg drop on the apron but Kane gets his low dropkick. The boo/yay stuff starts up as this is kind of a boring match. Old School is attempted so Kane hits him in the leg. Top rope clothesline connects but Taker grabs Hells Gate. Kane clearly taps but no one calls it. Its not completely on and Kane gets to the floor to escape.
We get a double sit up and Takers eyes are awesome. More boo/yay stuff as neither can get control. Running DDT by Taker gets two. Chokeslam hits for Taker as his knee is fine all of a sudden. Kane does the same for two. Kane goes for ten punches in the corner, you know the counter, and it gets two as well. WOW that was a horrible powerbomb. Kane reverses a Tombstone into one of his own and the crowd is into it.
And theres an uppercut for the slow counting referee. The referees come down to get him out so Bearer can slip inside. Bearer goes after Kane and Taker sits up. He gets another chokeslam and does the throat slit sign. The lightning and thunder kick on and a light comes out of the urn. Bearer shines it in Takers eyes and we have a standoff. Bearer of course hands it to Kane and Taker, like the idiot that he is, stands there and gets his head bashed in by Kane who hits a chokeslam to retain. A closeup of his face on the ramp ends the show.
Results
Daniel Bryan b. John Morrison and The Miz LeBell Lock to Miz
Randy Orton b. Sheamus RKO on the steps
Edge b. Jack Swagger Spear
Wade Barrett b. John Cena Pin after interference from a fan
Natalya b. Michelle McCool via DQ when Layla threw in her shoe
Kane b. The Undertaker Chokeslam
Quick Results
Raw
The Miz/Alex Riley b. Daniel Bryan/John Morrison Skull Crushing Finale to Bryan
Natalya won a Diva Battle Royal
The Great Khali b. Sheamus via DQ
John Cena b. Edge STF
Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater b. Mark Henry/Evan Bourne Rollup on Bourne
Cody Rhodes/Drew McIntyre b. Hart Dynasty Cross Roads to Smith
Randy Orton b. Chris Jericho via DQ when Sheamus interfered
NXT
Kaitlyn won a Wheelbarrow Race Challenge
AJ won Diss the Divas
Impact
Tommy Dreamer/Rhyno b. Beer Money DDT to Storm
Generation Me b. Ink Inc Rollup on Moore
Mr. Anderson b. Samoa Joe Mic Check
AJ Styles b. Brian Kendrick Styles Clash
Kurt Angle vs. Abyss went to a no contest
Smackdown
Dolph Ziggler vs. MVP went to a no contest when Nexus interfered
Bella Twins/Natalya/Kelly Kelly b. Laycool/Maryse/Alicia Fox Sharpshooter to Maryse
Nexus b. Big Show Multi-man submission hold
Undertaker b. CM Punk Tombstone Piledriver
Randy Orton b. Cody Rhodes RKO
John Cena vs. Kane went to a no contest
Hell in a Cell
Daniel Bryan b. John Morrison and The Miz LeBell Lock to Miz
Randy Orton b. Sheamus RKO on the steps
Edge b. Jack Swagger Spear
Wade Barrett b. John Cena Pin after interference from a fan
Natalya b. Michelle McCool via DQ when Layla threw in her shoe
Kane b. The Undertaker Chokeslam
Summerslams buyrate is likely down. A bit surprising actually.
Angle has signed a one year extension with TNA.
Steamboats health seems to be doing well. Hes not all better yet but hes improving which is a very good thing obviously.
Sunday
Hell in a Cell 2010
Date: October 3, 2010
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker
This is being written the morning after the show aired so I do know the results before the review is written. The two week build for this show makes me think its going to suck. We also only have five scheduled matches for tonight so there wasnt much to set up coming into last night. The Cell should be enough to make the show draw is what WWE is thinking I guess but the buyrates would beg to differ. Lets get to it.
Guess what the video is about. Just take a guess.
The set looks cool as it has a bunch of stuff designed to look like a Cell wall. I like that.
US Title: Daniel Bryan vs. The Miz vs. John Morrison
Apparently this is a submissions only match even though the name is just submissions count anywhere so its a bit misleading. Pretty clear Bryan is going to retain here even though he comes out second. Miz has the jacket back again too along with a mic. Hes called the Kenny Powers of the show and since hes one of my favorite posters thats a good sign. Miz says without him no one would know who the other guys are. He might be onto something there actually.
Both faces chase Miz to start us off and we get the standoff. Bryan gets a leg lock on him after a nice little wrestling sequence and we go to the floor without it being broken. Thats a nice little touch. We hit the formula of two guys fighting while the other is down. Morrison hits the Tarantula but Bryan makes the save. He then locks in Cattle Mutilation for like 4 seconds which probably blew up the IWC even though it wasnt anything that special. A leg bar gets a bigger pop if that tells you anything.
Miz grabs a similar hold in an attempt to counter and they kick each other in the face a lot. Morrison hits Starship Pain (not called that for some reason) onto both guys to break it up. Haas of Pain (LOVE that hold) by Morrison is broken up by Miz. Corkscrew plancha hits (and I use that term VERY loosely) Miz and we head into the crowd. Miz gets a wristlock and Morrison breaks it up by punching Miz in the face. Thats always awesome.
Bryan is gone and in the ring for a good while here as the former tag team fights up the stairs. Miz gets a sick looking Dragon Sleeper type hold around a barricade and Bryan makes the save. I know I say that a lot but thats what were getting a lot of: a hold for a few seconds and a save. We fight up to the stage a bit with Miz in control. Morrison throws Miz behind the stage and uses the barrier for a springboard to kick Bryan.
Miz literally shoves an anvil case at Morrison to take him down. This is kind of hard to call as its not quite a mess but theres no flow to it in sight. Bryan is more or less dead on the stage after Miz shoves him on the anvil case. We get it: Morrison does some French training. You dont have to explain it to us every 9 seconds. Skull Crushing Finale to Morrison on the floor and hes out cold.
Bryan and Miz get into a wrestling sequence on the stage and its a double clothesline. Morrison is up somehow and climbs up the lighting grid and climbs onto the Cell set. BIG ASS DIVE takes both of them out. How often do you get a THAT WAS AWESOME chant in WWE? See what happens when you have the young guys do their exciting stuff? Jomo gets a Texas Cloverleaf on Miz but heres Riley for the save. A cameraman gets taken out giving us the eternally fun camera shot. Miz goes after Bryan while Riley has Morrison preoccupied and walks into the LeBell Lock for the tap out.
Cole admits Bryan is for real. He toned down the Miz love in this match and it helped a lot. The repetition of stuff isnt his fault for the most part though so I cant blame him for that.
Ad for Legendary. Im surprised this is the first one since were almost 25 minutes into the show.
We recap Orton vs. Sheamus, which really shows how stupid it is to have a Cell match for the sake of having a Cell match. Consider the first two matches. The idea of Michaels vs. Taker was that Shawn kept escaping Taker or having help from him. Shawns psychology in that match is some of the best ever as he was running the whole time and getting in shots where he could. It was like he was trapped in hell and this was Takers ultimate revenge.
The second was Mankind vs. Taker where the idea was they absolutely hated one another. The match happened so that they could absolutely annihilate each other and one man would not leave the Cell on his own. Those matches WORKED. This match is happening between two guys that arent fond of each other but are having this match because the schedule says we need to have it. Cena vs. Barrett could have a point to it as that feud has been going on for months. Taker vs. Kane belongs in there. This should be last man standing or a regular cage match or something, not Hell in a Cell.
Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Sheamus
This Cell is taller and a bit more narrow. This stat sums things up very well: last years HIAC show was on October 4 so in one year weve had 5 Hell in Cell match. In thirteen years prior to that we had 16. That sums up this era better than anything I can tell you. Also tell me how this sounds: Sheamus is in a Hell in a Cell match. I like Sheamus but he DOES NOT belong on this level yet.
Another interesting stat: Orton is the only person to ever win the title inside the Cell. Thats rather surprising actually. Yeah they cover themselves by saying Orton is the only person to win the WWE Title in there. Unify the damn belts already. Having two world champions is so freaking stupid sounding. Also there is a Hell in a Cell match second on the card. Does this just sound wrong to anyone else?
Loud RKO chant to start. I didnt know there were so many old movie fans in todays audience. Striker talks about speaking with HHH via e-mail. Holy subtle hint Batman! Yeah Im stretching here since the first 15 minutes of this arent going to mean anything since this isnt going to end quickly at all. We head to the floor for about a second and the stomping begins for two. NICE slingshot shoulder block by Sheamus to take out Orton.
Orton gets rammed into the cage on the floor and Sheamus breaks out the steps. Now Orton gets a shot with them and we head back into the ring. Theres no heat to this at all as it just doesnt belong in there. Its a glorified street fight with a cage thrown in for fun. Striker explains why the ribs are a good thing for Sheamus to go after since the RKO is a bit weaker if the ribs are hurt.
Turnbuckle is ripped off as Sheamus is in control. He gets a gutbuster onto the steps which have gotten far more focus in this match than the cage so far. And now, in a match based around terror and chaos and pain, we get an EVIL chinlock. Cole points out that Orton is the champion and Sheamus is the challenger. Well usually when one is champion the other is the challenger so at least he can follow basic concepts. Hes reached the level of an average 4 year old!
Orton makes his comeback and the fans get behind him again. The crowd is rather hot here which is a very good thing and is helping this match along. They want an RKO apparently. Backbreaker out of nowhere and Orton slaps the mat. Make sure theres an orthopedic specialist in the building! There come the stairs again as Striker points out how stupid it is to use the steps when hes surrounded by steel.
Orton counters again and hits a powerslam on the steps. ITS NOT A DAMN SCOOP SLAM COLE! Its good for two either way. The elevated DDT on the steps of course doesnt hit but the one on the floor sort of does. RKO is blocked and Orton hits the post. This isnt a bad match but its just boring for a Cell match. Make this a street fight and its far better. Irish Curse, the backbreaker, hits on the steps. Its on Sheamus knee though so do the steps make that big of a difference?
Brogue Kick gets two and Sheamus face is AWESOME looking as his eyes bug completely out. A bunch of chair shots get two. A big chair shot misses and Orton gets the RKO to pop the crowd. The pale one rolls to the floor though so we dont get a cover. Punt misses and theres a second Brogue Kick on the floor. Were just transitioning from move to move here with nothing in between it. RKO on the steps ends it. Id buy that a lot more if Sheamus head actually hit the steps but you cant have it all I guess.
Orton climbs the Cell afterwards and poses with the belt. Cole wants it renamed the Vipers Playground. Striker in a near deadpan voice: Not yet. Striker is the voice of reasoning. Thats almost scary.
Ad for Bragging Rights ad. Its in three weeks. OH JOY! Its also the night after a Lesnar fight. Yeah thats not going to bomb at all. Nexus is advertised for it too.
Josh has the NXT girls in the back and theyre asked if theyre nervous. Nexus interrupts them thank goodness.
Albertos ring announcer brings him out. Again, his announcer has an announcer. Thats saying a lot. I do wonder where they get these cars. Cole wants to have his babies I think. Lawler wants to know if he can push 1 for English. That was rather amusing for a change. Alberto talks about beating up Rey and Christian. Gee wouldnt Rey vs. Alberto be nice tonight? Some basic hometown sports jokes dont really work.
Cue Edges music as Cole complains. Striker says Edge has over a dozen championships. He has over two dozen but why play him up I guess? Yeah hes a face now. Edge runs down the stupid things Alberto has done which are rather true. They get into a Spanglish argument of all things. A Canadian is arguing with a Mexican in an American ring. The first W is indeed correct. And here comes the All American-American. HE MADE THE SAME JOKE I DID!
Swagger points out that the mascot on Smackdown was in fact a human and not a real eagle. Could they please decide if hes a serious or comedy character? Swagger jumps him and Alberto bails. We have an e-mail and this is a match now. The computer has been upgraded it seems. Edge has to make a public apology tomorrow on Raw but this is a match right now.
Jack Swagger vs. Edge
Good thing Edge was in his wrestling gear. Swagger dominates to start as he had an advantage before we started. Swagger goes for the ankle which makes sense twice because of Edges ankle injury and the ankle lock. He keeps Edge on the mat and is in complete control. We hit the apron and Swagger tries to hit a German to the floor. Add that to the international joke from earlier.
When that of course doesnt work because it would nearly kill Edge he switches to an abdominal stretch using the ropes. Edges eye is swollen up. Ankle lock is attempted as we touch on the ankle injury again which Lawler almost sarcastically says you told us that already. Edge gets us to even but gets caught in the ankle lock on the floor. The running up the corner belly to belly is blocked as Edge hits a missile dropkick, which is a pure face move.
Kind of an odd match here. Its certainly not bad but its not that great for some reason. Belly to belly by Swagger but his arm is hurt. Swagger might be bleeding from the mouth a bit. Vader Bomb misses and Edge gets the Edgecution. Spear misses and Swagger gets the powerbomb for TWO. I dont remember anyone ever kicking out of that. I think they mistime something as Swagger goes for a Dragon Screw Leg Whip while Edge goes for an Enziguri, making it look AWFUL. Ankle lock goes on but Edge gets a quick counter and spear for the pin. That ended very fast after the knee thing so maybe they were just playing it safe.
Otunga has a plan to help Barrett.
Recap the Nexus angle which Im sure youre all familiar with by now.
John Cena vs. Wade Barrett
If Barrett loses Nexus is disbanded. If Cena loses he has to join the Nexus. Its kind of amazing that this is I believe his 5th singles match and his first PPV singles match. You cant say theyre not pushing this guy to the moon. Long feeling out period to start us off here. Cena gets his dropkick for his first big offensive maneuver. Barrett drops an F Bomb but not an audible one.
We slug it out a bit and Cena sets for the FU but Slater comes out as a distraction. Barrett throws the Nexus out which is an interesting touch. Barrett controls and hits a second rope elbow drop for two. Their colors are now black and gold instead of black and yellow. Neckbreaker gets two as Barrett is finally getting to showcase his offense. This is already his longest match and its not even 8 minutes long.
Dueling chants begin and you can tell its mainly men shouting for Barrett and higher pitched voices chanting for Cena. Cena makes his comeback and he initiates his finishing sequence. Nexus surrounds the ring as the definition of interference is getting kind of shaky here. Big Show comes out and leads the charge of the locker room who come out to beat down Nexus. It says a lot when it takes about 15 people including Big Show to beat up four glorified jobbers. And its not jobbers coming out to beat them up. You have guys like Show, Kofi, Ziggler, Bryan, Hart Dynasty and MVP, as in former and current champions.
Wasteland is blocked and this is a pretty solid back and forth match. Also its good that they got rid of the Nexus about halfway through. FU is blocked and Barrett hits a butterfly suplex for two. Boss Man Slam gets two. Fameasser off the top is blocked the first time but Cena gets it for two. Barrett gets Wasteland out of nowhere for two. Cole is WAY into this. Lawler says something and I had forgotten he was there.
FU hits out of nowhere for two as were into the good part of this match now. STF goes on as Cena looks extra quick here. Cole is SCREAMING at Barrett to tap out. A planted fan runs into the ring, allowing the guy that appears to be Husky Harris to pop up and blast Cena in the head, allowing Barrett to get the pin and kill the souls of millions of children. This is likely Otungas plan, which he didnt run past Barrett.
Nexus puts Barrett on their shoulders as the celebration is on. On a replay the fan that distracted things appears to be Michael McGillicutty but I cant tell for sure. The fan that hit Cena was definitely Harris but hes not named. Cena takes a long time to leave and various ages of fans are STUNNED.
Paper Jamz ad, the same from .two weeks ago.
Josh is in the back and runs into Paul Bearer. He cuts a short and cryptic promo about having his own master plan.
Make-A-Wish package from Smackdown.
Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Natalya
Michelle looks good in her gold shorts if nothing else. Striker tries to claim Michelle is the best in ring working woman ever. Im not even going to make a joke about that because its not fair to make fun of people that stupid. Michelle dominates for a bit with leg based offence but Natalya takes over with power stuff. This is rather boring if you couldnt tell. Michelle accidently drills Layla and Natalya gets a rollup for two. Sharpshooter goes on, is countered into a heel hook and is countered again. Then Layla throws in her shoe for the DQ.
Recap of Taker vs. Kane which Im sure you know by now also.
Smackdown World Title: Kane vs. Undertaker
Taker coming out with Paul Bearer just feels .right. They brawl outside of the Cell to start and Kane controls. Apparently this is before the match starts. Ah there we go. Theres the bell. Kane gets a chair from under the ring and beats the hell out of Taker. We fight on the floor again and this is more of a brawl than a match WHICH IS THE FUCKING IDEA. Lots of leg work by Kane which makes sense here.
A big boot eats cage though and Kane is in trouble. Taker hits the leg drop on the apron but Kane gets his low dropkick. The boo/yay stuff starts up as this is kind of a boring match. Old School is attempted so Kane hits him in the leg. Top rope clothesline connects but Taker grabs Hells Gate. Kane clearly taps but no one calls it. Its not completely on and Kane gets to the floor to escape.
We get a double sit up and Takers eyes are awesome. More boo/yay stuff as neither can get control. Running DDT by Taker gets two. Chokeslam hits for Taker as his knee is fine all of a sudden. Kane does the same for two. Kane goes for ten punches in the corner, you know the counter, and it gets two as well. WOW that was a horrible powerbomb. Kane reverses a Tombstone into one of his own and the crowd is into it.
And theres an uppercut for the slow counting referee. The referees come down to get him out so Bearer can slip inside. Bearer goes after Kane and Taker sits up. He gets another chokeslam and does the throat slit sign. The lightning and thunder kick on and a light comes out of the urn. Bearer shines it in Takers eyes and we have a standoff. Bearer of course hands it to Kane and Taker, like the idiot that he is, stands there and gets his head bashed in by Kane who hits a chokeslam to retain. A closeup of his face on the ramp ends the show.
Results
Daniel Bryan b. John Morrison and The Miz LeBell Lock to Miz
Randy Orton b. Sheamus RKO on the steps
Edge b. Jack Swagger Spear
Wade Barrett b. John Cena Pin after interference from a fan
Natalya b. Michelle McCool via DQ when Layla threw in her shoe
Kane b. The Undertaker Chokeslam
Quick Results
Raw
The Miz/Alex Riley b. Daniel Bryan/John Morrison Skull Crushing Finale to Bryan
Natalya won a Diva Battle Royal
The Great Khali b. Sheamus via DQ
John Cena b. Edge STF
Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater b. Mark Henry/Evan Bourne Rollup on Bourne
Cody Rhodes/Drew McIntyre b. Hart Dynasty Cross Roads to Smith
Randy Orton b. Chris Jericho via DQ when Sheamus interfered
NXT
Kaitlyn won a Wheelbarrow Race Challenge
AJ won Diss the Divas
Impact
Tommy Dreamer/Rhyno b. Beer Money DDT to Storm
Generation Me b. Ink Inc Rollup on Moore
Mr. Anderson b. Samoa Joe Mic Check
AJ Styles b. Brian Kendrick Styles Clash
Kurt Angle vs. Abyss went to a no contest
Smackdown
Dolph Ziggler vs. MVP went to a no contest when Nexus interfered
Bella Twins/Natalya/Kelly Kelly b. Laycool/Maryse/Alicia Fox Sharpshooter to Maryse
Nexus b. Big Show Multi-man submission hold
Undertaker b. CM Punk Tombstone Piledriver
Randy Orton b. Cody Rhodes RKO
John Cena vs. Kane went to a no contest
Hell in a Cell
Daniel Bryan b. John Morrison and The Miz LeBell Lock to Miz
Randy Orton b. Sheamus RKO on the steps
Edge b. Jack Swagger Spear
Wade Barrett b. John Cena Pin after interference from a fan
Natalya b. Michelle McCool via DQ when Layla threw in her shoe
Kane b. The Undertaker Chokeslam