Slam Master
Pre-Show Stalwart
It seems like we almost said some reality-based and believable booking on tonight's RAW. John Cena was featured in a gauntlet match where he got his ass pounded by both Jericho and a 400-pound Big Show, where he was held in two powerful submission holds for a descent amount of time each. After Big Show let all of his weight off of John, Orton comes out, assuming to finish him off. Cena some how gets magical, super-healing powers and energy, doesn't sell a damn thing that just happened, not one ounce of pain is shown from the ass-kicking he got, and Orton turns into a chicken shit while the cell was being lowered. Cena worked up the strength after the severe beating to get the best of Orton without showing any wear-and-tear. Orton should've just pounded the hell out of him the second he got out there but Super-Cena feeds into his magical powers that I didn't realize were part of his gimmick. I guess when we become optimistic that the WWE will change things up and strike some spark, change, and real-ness, it turns back to cheap, outdated, Hulkamania rip-offs.