The [Official] Movie Review Thread

[jmt225]

Cyborg Soldier​

I remember the build-up to UFC 83. For the past two years or so, the UFC does these one hour specials on Spike TV to put over two or three of their fights for their next upcoming pay-per-view. Well, for UFC 83, the co-main event was Rich Franklin vs. Travis Lutter. And during Rich Franklin's part of the one hour special, a lot of discussion went into his experience of filming his first film, “Cyborg Soldier”. They showed stills and want not, but you really couldn't tell what the film was about. But when they said it co-starred Tiffani Thiessen (who I've been in-love with since I was, like, seven), I knew then I would eventually check it out. And about a month ago, I was at a small record store and saw the DVD used, for $3 and figured, why not. So I picked it up and finally got around to watching it earlier.

The film starts off with this man named Issac (Rich Franklin) running away from and fighting these guys wearing all black. You can tell they're in a laboratory of some sort. And after about a minute of this, Issac escapes. They then cut to a very beautiful young lady named Lindsay Rearden (Tiffani Thiessen), sitting in a cop car doing nothing. She's a Deputy of this very small town (it looks like the setting of "Fargo", in fact, but it's never confirmed where this film takes place). So she's sitting there bored, and gets a call in from the dude who works at the front desk of the office telling her there's a little commotion at so and so, and so she leaves to check it out. As she's going to her destination, she sees Issac running. It brings her a bit of curiosity and so she asks him what is he running from. No answer. She asks him again and a couple of more questions as he's running and all his answers are very short and generic. After a few seconds of this, Lindsay gets suspicious and pulls over and takes out her gun, after Issac refuses to stop running. It is at this time the guys in black show up to take Issac back to the laboratory. Issac doesn't oblige, so they repeatedly shoot him. However, this does nothing to Issac and he's able to take the shots and then shoot back with Lindsay's gun. He and Lindsay then escape in the cop car. We then find out that Issac is genetically engineered super-soldier, created by Dr. Simon Hart (Bruce Greenwood), with no memory of his past. And the movie goes from there.

Overall, it's your typical B-rated Action flick. I've been a fan of B-rated Action films for as long as I can remember, so I enjoyed it even with it's obvious, illogical flaws like all these types of films have. However, I would never recommend this unless you're fans of these types of movies as I am, or if you're a big time Rich Franklin fan, otherwise... you'll hate this.

Anyway, Rich Franklin wasn't very good, but much better then I expected, if that makes any sense. He was basically a half-ass Terminator, but there were some scenes in the film that he pulled off really well. And then there were others that reminded you that yss, this guy is not a real actor. Tiffani Thiessen was Tiffani Thiessen. I mean, I've seen every episode of Saved by the Bell countless times, and seen nearly all her Lifetime movies, and I've always thought that not only is she drop dead gorgeous, but she's also a very underrated actress, too. She was by far the best thing about the movie, but I completely expected that. Bruce Greenwood wasn't bad either, and a woman by the name of Wendy Anderson (who played Janice Fraser, a woman working for national security) was pretty good as well.

But even though it's enjoyable for me personally, I can still admit when a film isn't very good, and this one wasn't. The action scenes didn't come off too well, and there were a few plot holes, and a lot of shit that just plain didn't make sense. Fun movie, but also a bad one.

Rating: 4/10

 

[jmt225]

Rachel Getting Married​

I actually downloaded a bootleg version of this film when it was first released. I would've gone to the movie theater to watch it, but I couldn't find a theater that was playing it. But I really wanted to see it after hearing the rave reviews Ann Hathaway was getting for her performance. I've been a big fan of hers since I first saw Havoc (shit movie, but great performance by her), and I knew she had it in her to do a film where critics would totally blow her, but I didn't think it was going to happen for a couple of years. Anyway, the quality of the film I downloaded was pretty crappy, but I still sat through the whole thing and definitely did understand why the critics were going ape shit for her performance. My mom, on the other hand, has been wondering since it was first announced how the little girl from "The Devil Wears Prada" got a fucking Oscar Nomination. So, on Mother's Day, I decided to watch this film with my awesome mom.

Unlike the other films I reviewed thus far, I won't go into much detail here because I don't want to give anything away. But the movie is basically about a young, troubled lady named Kym (Anne Hathaway), who returns home from rehab for the weekend to attend her sister Rachel's (Rosemarie DeWitt) wedding. And the entire film is revolved around this weekend and the relationship Kym has with her sister and mother, and how Kym is fighting with herself everyday to forgive herself for what she did in the past. That's all I'll say as far as the plot is concerned.

The film itself is pretty good, but there’s one big problem I had with it. The story is easy to follow and keeps you interested in what’s going on, but the problem is, Jonathan Demme's ("Silence of the Lambs" director) direction in this film can be really, really slow at times. For example, the rehearsal dinner goes on and on, and really the only interesting part is when Kym speaks. Ninety percent of the other 'speeches' were entirely unnecessary and completely boring. Also, the wedding reception drags on as well. There's some shitty ass music, mixed in with some good music, while watching people dance and dance for a good five minutes it had to be, which is a very fucking long time. Those two scenes bring the movie down, in my opinion, but other than that... the film is very, very solid. And it's because of the acting.

Anne Hathaway was tremendous, and she did deserve her nomination, without a doubt. Even my mom agreed, and she's kind of cynical when it comes to that stuff, but she thought, like me, that Anne Hathaway was spectacular. Other great performances given were by the woman who played Rachel, Rosemarie DeWitt, and the guy who played Kym and Rachel's father, Bill Irwin. Now, I've never heard of either of these two individuals in my life, but man they were fantastic. Debra Winger also did a great job, but that's expected as she's wonderful in pretty much everything she does.

So yeah... it's really the acting that makes the movie work. There's some good dialogue, and the fact that Rachel is marrying a black man, and yet, there is ZERO racial tension in the film is kind of shocking as well. You sit there and expect someone to bring up race sooner or later, but it's completely ignored by both families. I thought that was very interesting and unusual.

But overall, like I said the film had some slow moments where you want to bash your face in, but the acting more than makes up for it. You feel for these characters, because I'm sure everyone knows a Kym in real life, and because Anne Hathaway portrait of her couldn't be more spot on, it makes the film way more entertaining to sit through.

Rating: 7.5/10

 

[Y 2 Jake]

Anaconda 3: The Offspring​

I was sceptical going into this film. Would it be as brilliant as the previous two? An emphatic yes, from yours truly.

Starring David Hasselhoff as a big game hunter, this is everything you could want from a big mutant snake picture. Thrills, spills, good CGI and acting. This has everything, except nudity. Although there is enough cleavage to keep you satisfied.

The clue might be in the title, but when I was informed that the snake was pregnant, I was blown away. Partially because I wasn't paying attention, but mostly because of how well the film was written and acted. Crystal Allen had me actually believing that she might get eaten by a big snake.

The same could be said for David Hasselhoff. Spoiler ahead. He does what somebody always does in a film like this, he wants to catch, not kill the snake. It was established from the off that he was a rogue, but it's a testament to his talents as an actor that I forgot about all this and I was genuinely shocked when he shot....that guy and tried to kill the attractive woman.

At only 88 minutes long you feel slightly short changed, but the film is left with a definite indication that there will be another film in the series. There were so many questions left unanswered, who was that man who walked across the screen in the background after the car crash? Where did the second snake come from? Why did it have a razor sharp tail that he used to impale people? Will Johnathan Rhys-Davies get his just desserts? Where was J.Lo?

I give this film a snake shaped 5 out of 5.

 

[Little Jerry Lawler]

Three O'Clock High

In this movie, Jerry Mitchell (Casey Siemaszko) is asked to interview the new transfer student with a violent past. The student's name is Buddy Revell (Richard Tyson) and he does not like to be touched. During an encounter in the bathroom, Mitchell accidentally touches and Revell challenges him to a fight in the parking lot at three o'clock. Mitchell tries to get out of the fight several ways including paying somebody $450 to take care of Buddy and planting a knife in his locker. Revell agrees to take the money from Mitchell and says he is the biggest pussy he's ever met. This prompts Jerry to agree to fight him and he wins using Revell's brass knuckles.

Everything in this movie was great. From the opening scenes where he rushes to get to school and puts a wet T-shirt and a pop-tart in the microwave to trying to break open the cash register in the student store with a globe and fire extinguisher. One of the classic moments in the movie is where he tries to get detention by giving a obscene report while smoking a cigarette and kissing the teacher Miss Farmer.

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The fight scene was brilliant as it looked like Jerry was going to get pummeled but his sister Brei (Stacey Glick) gave him Revell's brass knuckles and told him to "cripple the dick". At the end, the students bought school supplies from the student store to help Jerry get back the money and even Revell gives back the money he gave him.

Rating: 9/10

 

[Mr. TM]

I just finished watching Fast And Furious and I must say, it was... higher than average. It was much better than the second and the third movie, but fell behind the first movie. I felt that the climax of the movie did not have a lot of effort in it, and was dragged out. Funny ending made it more enjoyable at the end, but was still let down by the climax. Movie had everything everyone would want from the series, fast car, some hot women, underground organizations, and unlike essentially the middle two movies, it had all the Vin Diesel (looking old) you would ever want.

I give Fast and Furious 6.5/10

 

[Mr. TM]

I finally was able to watch The Wrestler. As a wrestling fan, I am a little ashamed that it took me so long to get around to watching it. But I have now. My thoughts on the film? It was alright. Considering it had gotten a lot of press for being a fantastic film, I can't say it was too much above average. It had a decent plot, dent story, and actually I feel gave an accurate portrayal of the life of a professional wrestler. But I really don't feel there was enough build to anything. Sort of touching, sort of dark, and that is what I wanted. There was just not enough for me to be pleased. Marissa Tomei's 44 year old tits were fucking amazing however.

I give the movie 7/10

 

[gd]

I watched Mr. Brooks on Showtime the other day.

I think that Kevin Costner was really good in this movie playing a twisted character. I loved his alter ego that no one else could see. It was a little odd seeing Dane Cook in a serious role like that, but was alright.

Killing a guy by cutting his throat open with a shovel is freakin sweet. I liked how they faked Costner's death at the edning, too. At first, I thought that it was legit.

O ya, and Demi Moore was pretty hot in this movie. She played the female cop trying to prove something to her father, and spent a lot of the movie going after this guy that hung people in public places.

Overall, pretty decent movie, I'll give it a 7.5/10

 

[jmt225]

Killshot​

You know the trailer for this movie was released in fucking 2006, but the film didn’t get a theater release until late January 2009, and it was VERY limited at that. It really pissed me off because I have been looking forward to this film since I first saw the trailer all those years ago, because it was being promoted as being produced by Quentin Tarantino, and it starred two of my favorite actors in Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Diane Lane. And then when The Wrestler was released, I wanted to see this that much more since it starred Mickey Rourke, who of course showed his awesomeness in The Wrestler.

Well, it was FINALLY released on DVD May 26 and I got when I picked it up.

The movie starts off with a flashback in black and white, narrated by a hitman named Blackbird (Mickey Rourke) explaining just exactly what’s going on and what his ‘job’ is like. It shows him and a young man entering a hospital, on there way to kill someone. After the job is done, Bird is heading back to the elevator, with the young man following behind him. But then a Nurse comes out and bumps into the young man. The young man just stares at her for a few seconds, and then chaos reigns as a wounded doctor goes for the alarm. Bird tries to shoot the doctor but ends up killing the young man who was with him, which we find out was his little brother. In present day, Bird is retired. However, he gets a lucrative offer from a mafia boss, wanting him to kill the mafia boss’s father-in-law, who is THE mafia boss. Bird agrees. The mafia boss affirms him of where he can find ‘Papa’ and that there we be a girl with him who is in on the deal. Well, Bird does the job, and then kills the girl because “she saw his face”. Anyone who sees his face on the job cannot live according to him. The mafia boss ignores the fact that Bird did his job, and just gets pissed at Bird for killing the girl. So, Bird now has the entire mafia looking for him. And then we cut to a young man named Richie Nix (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), calling a Real Estate agent, threatening him that he is going to kill him if he doesn’t give Richie $20,000 the next day. That night, while at a diner, Richie looks for someone who he can use to get the job done by using that person’s car. And the person he chooses? Blackbird, of course. As Bird is leaving the diner, Richie pulls a gun on him and demands him to give him a ride. Bird obliges without putting up a fight. In the car, Richie runs his mouth, spilling the beans about what he’s doing the next day in robbing the Real Estate place. When Richie is done talking, he demands Bird to give him his wallet, and Bird once again obliges. As Richie is counting the money from Bird’s wallet, he ask Bird what he does for a living, and Bird pulls out his piece and puts it to Richie’s head, telling him he’s a hitman, more or less. And, well, you guessed it… they hit it off. They quickly become friends because Richie reminds Bird of the little brother he lost that day in the hospital. So, they decide to help each other out. The next day is the robbery of the Real Estate place, and let’s just say that not all goes to plan. Carmen (Diane Lane) and Wayne (Thomas Jane), a couple on the verge of divorce, sees Bird’s face and the movie from that point on is Bird and Richie, trying to find and kill Carmen and Wayne.

Sorry for the long description, but I felt it was necessary. I just don’t want to copy and paste the plotline from Wiki or IMBD because it doesn’t really tell you anything.

Anyway, I really, really enjoyed this film. I had high expectations for it as I mentioned earlier, even though it didn’t get a wide theatrical release and the fact that Tarantino erased his name from the project. But expectations were more than met, mostly because of the tremendous performance by Joseph Gordon-Levitt. The guy was truly phenomenal. I’ve been saying from day one that they should recast Joker in the next Batman film, with Joseph Gordon-Levitt in mind for playing him because for one, he looks EXACTLY like
Heath Ledger, and for two.. the guy is just a terrific actor. And he proved it with this role, where he played a complete psycho path. All the other actors were good too, but Levitt completely stole the show.

There are some flaws in the story, though; some bad cuts and what not. And that comes from the fact that since the film ‘confused’ test audiences (aka ******s), they completely edited out Johnny Knoxville’s role in the film, which from what I understand was a fairly sizeable role as a deputy. So, that sucks, but it didn’t hurt the film much; it’s just you can tell at times when there’s something missing. However, knowing about the Knoxville situation may have clouded my judgment a little bit, so you never know.

With that said anyway, nothing is predictable in this, and the film keeps your interest the entire time. There are also some good suspenseful moments, and some good comedy. Diane Lane and Thomas Jane were just right as the ‘normal’ people trying to avoid getting themselves killed, while also trying to fix their marriage. And Rourke was good, too. Not great, but definitely good enough.

So overall, I highly recommend this if you’re a fan of any of the actors, or if you’re a fan of films like A History of Violence and shit along those lines. Either way, I guarantee you’ll enjoy this film in some form or another. Check it out.

Rating: 8/10

 

[Mr. TM]

Terminator: Salvation

I finally got around to seeing one of my favourite franchises new release on the big screen. I don't want to give the film away, but I do feel that the movie shifted away from the other Terminators. I always thought the third one was rather shitty, but at least it was similar. I feel this one was a major step away from the formula. However, the movie was rather good. I do think that similarly to Quantum of Solace, the movie was too action driven. There was little plot in my view, which is unfortunate, because the Terminators had been great at making plots.

I give the movie a 7.5/10, and give Bale a 5/10.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

Terminator: Salvation -

I'm undecided if I liked it. It was to preoccupied with adding quotes and referencing to other films that it struggled to be anything other than a tribute. Quotes were shoe horned into it for no apparent reason.

At times the film looked really good. It looked like a dystopian film from the 80's. Not horrible CGI like you get now. Then McG would do some of the effect he learnt on the Charlie's Angles film and fuck the whole thing up.

The guy doesn't know how to do suspence. How could he make a total non event out of an Arnie cameo? It came from nowhere, they added the theme for no reason at all. You see his face, then it get's burnt off. Totally pointless. Added for the sake of it. What would have been wrong with he final scene before the credits just showing a line of them just coming off a conveyor belt. That would have worked a whole lot better.

Sam Worthington would have been a lot better if his accent wasn't all over the place. American one minute, Irish, English or Australian the next. Terrible. Better than Christian Bale though.

 

[FromTheSouth]

The Wrestler: Since I don't wish to give away any type of spoiler, I'm going to do this whole thing in a spoiler code.

Spoiler: The Wrestler: review:

I'm honestly not even sure where to begin, so I could jump around a bit. I'll start by saying that if you truly want a darkside look at what the Wrestling industry is like, then this movie is definately one you'll want to see.

While I can't say with any fact that this is what it's like for Mainstream Professional Wrestlers, I do know for a fact this is the grime reality of behind-the-scenes stuff for the minimum of indy workers. I know this, because I've seen it personally.

The movie starts off with a generic rundown, or history lesson, on who exactly Randy "The Ram" is. It shows in old-school newspapers that he was basically a major name in the industry. Then it jumps to a "20 years later" format in which he's a rundowned Superstar, still trying to get by in doing the only thing he knows how to do. Wrestle.

This movie is very dark to the point of several things involving recent events in the Wrestling industry we know. For starters, I found it very chilling that the Main character is seen taking what is to be considered illegal drugs, including steroids.. only to then connect that with his finishing move, which is very similar to a diving headbutt. (ie. Chris Benoit)

The one thing I kept thinking when I watched this movie was, "Its no wonder Ric Flair adapted to everything about this movie, it's because it's more or less HIM."

Toward the beginning of this movie, Randy has a heart-attack and is told that if he wrestles again, it could very well kill him. At that point, he tries to retry life outside of the business. He tries to reconnect with his Daughter, take on a full-time position in the Supermarket, and basically walk away from the industry that he's only always known.

As the movie goes forward, Randy is hassled by his Boss at a part-time job at a Supermarket. That's the grime reality of what happens to anyone who gets into this business, but can't afford to live off it alone.

The main character also lost base with his Daughter, which is the movies way of showing that Professional Wrestlers don't have great Family lives, because more or less they can't. You're on the road constantly, and as result you miss everything important in a Family setting. In this situation, Rourke's character merely left his Daughter when he realized things weren't going the way he'd wanted to them go. (ie. He gave up)

You're also lead into a type of crush he has on a stripper. And the ironic issue of both Strippers and Professional Wrestlers being one in the same through many ways. (ie. Both use stage names, and aren't the characters they are while performing)

The one major issue I have with the movie, is the ending. It more or less ends on the note of him coming off the top rope. After having a rematch against whom everyone considers his arch-rival, after suffering clear health problems within the match. In other words, it sets up several questions that go unanswered.

Did he have a heart-attack and die? Did he have one and live? Did he simply hit the move and retire completely? Did he hit the move and continue trying to go one more match, until it does kill him? Did he ever end up with the female? All of these questions were left unanswered to an extent. With the only question the movie left you with, was the understanding that for some Professional Wrestlers.. the business, throughout life into death, is all they'll ever have.. or want.

In the end, I'd give this film a definate 9.5 outta 10 with the only half mark not being made, simply because of the way the film ended. It was a very dark look, but in the end, more realistic than most people wish to know.

In my personal opinion of the entire thing, I think it hits on a lot of facts. After viewing this movie, it may also make a lot of kids who have dreams of being in this business change their mind.

For me personally, this wasn't a wake-up call, so much as a reminder. This is reality, this isn't fake, and it isn't just another script. While the names of the characters may not be real, the story is indeed every bit of the harsh reality of Professional Wrestling. At least from a stand-point of what I know for a fact Indy talent goes through.

I am going to shock the boards and say that I was not impressed with this movie. I thought it dragged along, made wrestlers look like trashy people, and made wrestling seem like a joke. I understand that the indies struggle to get notoriety and fill the seats. I get that.

I just think the movie glossed over the business and focused on a disjointed personal story. Seriously, this guy is so delusional that he thinks a stripper likes him, his daughter will want a relationship with a drugged out disappearing act of a father, and that he can still make it? I spent the second half of the movie wondering how he was a functioning member of society, much less one who could carry on all his nonsense.

I think that characters were disjointed, the story had little to no flow, the actors were emotionless, and the director should find a new job.

Other than that, it was OK.

 

[X]

I am going to shock the boards and say that I was not impressed with this movie. I thought it dragged along, made wrestlers look like trashy people

His generation of wrestlers for the most part were trashy people.

and made wrestling seem like a joke.

Nothing says hilarious joke like drug addiction and isolation.

I just think the movie glossed over the business and focused on a disjointed personal story.

That's because the move isn't about the wrestling business, it's about a specific person who just happens to be a washed up wrestler. It's more about the man than it is the sport.

Seriously, this guy is so delusional that he thinks a stripper likes him, his daughter will want a relationship with a drugged out disappearing act of a father, and that he can still make it?

But the stripper does like him. And he almost patches it up with his daughter, its not that far-fetched of an idea.

I think that characters were disjointed, the story had little to no flow, the actors were emotionless

Emotionless?! How was Mickey Rourke emotionless? Everyone in the film was great, from Rourke to Tomei to Wood.

and the director should find a new job.

That's absurd. Darren Aronofsky is one of the best up and coming filmmakers in the world today. Have you seen his other work? Pi and especially Requiem For a Dream are fucking masterpieces.

 

[jmt225]

Heaven​

Do you want to know two simple facts? Well, I don't care if you do, you're going to hear them anyway: Cate Blanchett is one of the greatest actresses of all time; top 5 when it's all said and done, and Giovanni Ribisi ranks right up there with Ben Foster and Michael Pitt as the most underrated actor currently out there. So, when I saw this film starring the both of these awesome individuals on Showtime, I thought I'd check it out. And boy I'm glad I did.

The film opens with a sequence showing a young Italian named Filippo (Giovanni Ribisi) learning to fly a helicopter. When he accidentally crashes it by going too high, his teacher tells him that, "In a real helicopter, you can't just keep going up and up," and then Filippo ask, "How high can you go?". The film then goes to a young woman, who we find out later is named Phillipa (Cate Blanchett), is preparing to plant a bomb in an office downtown in some Italian city. I would love to tell you what happens next, but I don't want to ruin it for you. To keep it short, when Phillipa gets caught for her crime, she refuses to speak Italian, so she 'confesses' in English, thus the officers needing a translator to translate everything she says. Filippo, working as a Carabinieri clerk at this point, says he speaks English and can translate everything she says. Shortly after, he falls in love and helps Phillipa escape. The film goes from there.

I have to say, the opening credits is the best, more heart pounding sequence I've ever seen during an opening of the film. And you don't even know the characters at this point. It's just that suspenseful and awesome. And the ending is just as outstanding as the opening sequence. And between the beginning and end, you get one of the best love stories I've ever seen in film. This movie is just all around phenomenal.

I've already mentioned I had a ton of love for both actors going into this, but man... even I was still impressed with their performances. There's a scene with Ribisi, Blanchett, and Ribisi character's father that is one of the best acted, most powerful scenes I've ever witnessed. You'll realize it when you see it.

It should be noted that the film is shot equally in the Italian language and English, but please don't let that discourage you from seeing this (the subtitles are nice, big and slow enough to follow easily). This film is spectacular. Seriously, on your next Netflix order, or the next time you looking for something good to download, check this film out. You will not be let down.

Rating: 9/10

Powder Blue​

I would love to lie to you and say I bought this DVD because I thought it was going to be a great movie, but like I said.. that would be a lie. I bought it because I wanted to see Biel as a stripper and nude. I've wanted to fuck her since she was on 7th Heaven back in the late nineties, so of course I was curious to see her first nude scenes in film. And... that's what led me to seeing this.

Rose-Johnny (Jessica Biel) is a stripper whose son is in a coma. Jack Doheny (Ray Liotta) is Rose's long lost father and tries to connect with her. Charlie (the awesome Forest Whitaker) is a suicidal widower, who has $50,000 in cash and asks people to kill him for the money, since he can't do it himself because of his Catholic beliefs. Qwerty Doolittle (Eddie Redmayne) is a lonely Undertaker, who is one of those guys that finish last because he's nice. All four of these stories connect to each other in some form or another and that's how the movie goes. Patrick Swayze has a supporting role as Rose's sleazy boss, and Lisa Kudrow gives a pretty good performance as Sally, a divorcee looking for happiness and has an interest in Forest Whitaker's character, Charlie.

The film had its moments and some good acting, but overall... it just wasn't very good. There were some very, very corny shots considering how serious and realistic this film tries to be. The story with Forrest Whitaker's character was good though, and I loved the scenes with him and Lisa Kudrow. However... everything else is a big, fat MEH.

But you know what? Even though it's not very good, seeing Jessica Biel's strip scenes was worth the purchase. While her acting was pretty terrible at some points, that woman sure can dance and work that pole. She was every bit as good at doing so as Marisa Tomei was in The Wrestler. The problem is, however&#8230; off the dance stage, Biel can&#8217;t carry a character through dramatic scenes like Marisa can.

So, obviously, didn't like the movie very much, but I'm glad I watched it. I recommend it only for the Biel strip scenes, and the Whitaker story. But don't expect much from anything else in the film, because it's pretty crappy overall.

Rating: 4.5/10

 

[SK]

Football Factory

I thought i'd review the last film I watched, and I have seen this film a lot of times, so I think I can give a good review of it.

It's a movie set in modern England, about football hooliganism, and the life of people involved in it. This film is directed by Nick Love and stars Danny Dyer. This film focuses on mainly the Chelsea firm (a group of fans of different clubs, who fight each other), the film follows and is narrated by Tommy Johnson and shows his life, friends and people in the firm. The film shows that Tommy Johnson has an internal conflict that he loves fighting in the firm, but it causes bad things to happen and might not actually be worth it, which is a recurring theme in this film.

Spoiler: For the ending

Tommy ends up in hospital after the rival Millwall firm batter him because of his and his best friend Rod's previous actions in the film, when they hit a member of a rival firm over the head with a cricket bat. Tommy ends up in the hospital and barely able to walk and asking himself if it was all worth it, to which he finally decides, of course it fucking was.

I strongly reccomend watching this film, it has drama, action and comedy and Dyer plays his character perfectly, making you care about Tommy Johnson and what happens to him. It is quite an accurate insight into the life of a football hooligan, as in documentries, the hooligans are shown to have regrets and conflicts. The storyline is gripping and keeps you interested, there are very few bad points to the film, and it is very well directed, I would give it 8.5 out of 10, and I think that it is easily one of the best British films of the decade.

 

[Cheech 72]

I am interested to see how the new H2 movie will come out, the first movie was a good remake. I like all of Zombie's movies, with Devils Rejects being my favorite of the genre. I thought the Friday the 13th remake wasn't bad either but the characters were pretty shitty. I recommend independment films such as Kids and Bully, they tell a great story about teenage life and are loosely based on true stories.

 

[SK]

I'm going to review one of my favourite films, which is the exciting and thought provoking, V for Vendetta.

Overview;
This film is truly brilliant, it's action packed, has a love story, an interesting storyline and covers some excellent themes like; social activism, socio-political problems, capitalism, race, homosexuality, religion, totalitarianism,terrorism and anarchy/revolution, both historical and future.

Plot; (a lot from wikipedia)
This film is based off a graphic novel in which Hugo Weaving and Natalie Portman star which starts showing Britain, which has become totalitarian, ruled by a far right political party. A man named V who wears a Guy Fawkes mask, saves a girl named Evey, and then he shows her his destruction of the Old Bailey. The regime explains the incident to the public as an emergency demolition, but this is shown to be a lie when V takes over the British Television Network the same day. He broadcasts a message urging the people of Britain to rise up against the oppressive government on the fifth of November; one year from that day, when V will destroy the Houses of Parliament.

Evey helps V escape, but is put in danger. V saves Evey from being captured and interrogated by officials and does this by bringing her to his lair, where she is told that she must stay in hiding with him. Upon learning that V is killing government officials, she escapes to the home of one of her superiors at the BTN, television personality Gordon Deitrich. However, after he broadcasts a comedic show about the country's current regime, the state police raid Gordon's home, capturing Evey. She is incarcerated and tortured for days, which includes the length of her hair being shorn off, leaving her with a concentration camp-style crew cut. Finding solace only in notes left by another prisoner, Valerie, Evey is told that she will be executed unless she reveals V's whereabouts. Evey says she would rather die; she is then released. Evey discovers that her imprisonment was staged by V, to free her from fear of the fascist government&#8212;"Only when you have no fear are you free", V tells her. Later that day Evey leaves V, promising to return before the fifth of November.

Inspector Finch, through his investigation of V's origins, learns how Norsefire came to power. Fourteen years previously, Britain had suffered from war and terrorism. The socially-conservative and openly fascist Norsefire party led a purge to restore order; enemies of the state (Muslims, blacks, homosexuals, communists) were kidnapped by the secret police during the night. The country was divided over the loss of freedom until a bioterrorist attack occurred, killing about 80,000 people. The fear generated by the attack allowed Norsefire to silence opposition and win the next election by a landslide. A cure for the virus was discovered soon afterwards by the Norsefire company, Viadoxin. With the silent consent of the people, Norsefire turned Britain totalitarian, with their leader Adam Sutler as High Chancellor. The virus had been engineered by Norsefire as a plot to gain power, through deadly experimentation on "social deviants" and political dissidents at Larkhill detention center. V had been one of the prisoners, but instead of being killed by the experiments, he had gained heightened mental and physical abilities. V eventually destroyed the center and escaped, vowing to take revenge on Norsefire's regime. The government officials he had been killing when he met Evey had all once worked at Larkhill, and were subsequently retired into their new elevated positions.

Spoiler: for the ending

As the fifth of November nears, V's schemes cause chaos in Britain and the population grows more intolerant and subversive towards government authority. On the fourth of November, Evey again visits V, who shows her a train that he has filled with explosives in order to destroy Parliament through an explosion in the abandoned London Underground. He delegates the destruction of Parliament to Evey, believing that the ultimate decision should not come from him. Evey tries to convince V not to leave and kisses him. He tells her he can't stay and then leaves to meet Party leader Creedy; who, as part of an earlier agreement, has agreed to bring V the Chancellor in exchange for V's surrender. Creedy kills the Chancellor in front of V, but V does not surrender, instead killing Creedy and his men. V, mortally wounded in the fight, returns to Evey. He tells her that he had fallen in love with her, thanks her, and then dies. His body is placed upon the train with the explosives.

Evey is about to send the train down the track, when she is discovered by Inspector Finch. However, Finch, who has been investigating V and thereby learned much about the corruption of the Norsefire regime, allows Evey to proceed. Meanwhile, thousands of Londoners, all wearing Guy Fawkes masks, march on Parliament to watch the event.

My View;
What a brilliant film, it tackles so many issues, that are still big and important in today&#8217;s society, however, it does this while entertaining you and keeping you hooked on the story. The film shows social activism at it&#8217;s best, it shows that people can change society through anarchy, rebellion and revolution. V for Vendetta also shows some fine acting from Portman and Weaving, who show a great chemistry together, as they make you believe both their intellect and their relationship, which changes throughout the film. This film contains so many ideologies it&#8217;s unreal, the film can be slightly neo-marxist at times, but it also shows capitalism and how the ruling class use their power to there advantage, to change rules and make people disappear or to hide information. Not only is this film thought provoking, but it is visually pleasing as well, showing great fight scenes, visions of revolution, and the blowing up of the Old Bailey and of Parliament are aesthetically excellent. Overall, I would give this film 9 out of 10, and strongly recommend it, if you haven&#8217;t seen it, you must. This film is for anyone, you don&#8217;t have to fully understand it to enjoy it, there is bits for everyone, romance, action, fighting and thought provoking messages and ideologies, it&#8217;s hard to find many problems with this film, and I don&#8217;t want to, I love it.

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[Razor]

The great, the incomparable, The Shawshank Redemption.

This is a movie based upon the Stephen King novella, Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption. I really, really like this movie.

The plot begins with Tim Robbins' character, Andy Dufresne, on trial for the murder of his wife and her lover. Sprinkled through out Dufresne's detached, emotionless testimony are scenes from nights long ago; depicting Andy sitting in a car, drunkenly handling bullets. The jury finds him guilty and he is sentenced to life at Shawshank State Penitentiary.

From here, the plot takes flight. The film is unrelenting in relating the hopelessness that embodies Shawshank. The first night shows the vicious beating of a man who simply could not stop crying. It is a powerful scene, and makes you utterly feel for the poor fellow. And from there on the film assaults the viewer and Dufresne with gang rape, insane guards, utter corruption, and the effect years of imprisionment have on a man's soul.

The acting in this movie is superb. Morgan Freeman is cast in a role that is utterly southern in the novella (the character is nicknamed Red after all). Freeman, along with the other jailhouse friends of Dufresne, offer great performances. Brooks Hatlen, played by James Whitmore, turns in one of the saddest scenes I have ever seen in a movie. Robbins is excellent as the tax man Andy Dufresne, who only wants his freedom. Bob Gunton gives a great person to hate in the corrupt, Bible-thumping Warden Samuel Norton. If I didn't mention them here, that doesn't mean they didn't do well. Every single actor in that movie did great.

The director was Frank Darabont, the man behind other greats such as The Green Mile and The Majestic. He also directed The Blob and The Fly II, if you were wondering.

I really can't say anything bad about this film. It is the only movie to really make me wanna cry. Twice, no less. But what would one expect, when the source material is none other than Stephen King?

I completely and unrelentingly recommend this film.​

 

[Thriller Ant]

Movie: Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

Plot:

Emboldened by the return of Lord Voldemort, the Death Eaters are wreaking havoc in both the Muggle and wizarding worlds and Hogwarts is no longer the safe haven it once was. Harry suspects that new dangers may lie within the castle, but Dumbledore is more intent upon preparing him for the final battle that he knows is fast approaching. He needs Harry to help him uncover a vital key to unlocking Voldemort's defenses critical information known only to Hogwarts' former Potions Professor, Horace Slughorn. With that in mind, Dumbledore manipulates his old colleague into returning to his previous post with promises of more money, a bigger office and the chance to teach the famous Harry Potter. Meanwhile, the students are under attack from a very different adversary as teenage hormones rage across the ramparts. Harry's long friendship with Ginny Weasley is growing into something deeper, but standing in the way is Ginny's boyfriend, Dean Thomas, not to mention her big brother Ron. But Ron's got romantic entanglements of his own to worry about, with Lavender Brown lavishing her affections on him, leaving Hermione simmering with jealousy yet determined not to show her feelings. And then a box of love potion-laced chocolates ends up in the wrong hands and changes everything. As romance blossoms, one student remains aloof with far more important matters on his mind. He is determined to make his mark, albeit a dark one. Love is in the air, but tragedy lies ahead and Hogwarts may never be the same again.

My Take: Sorry, but I'm probably gonna jump around a lot as stuff comes to mind. You can find full plotlines somewhere online I'm sure, so don't take my order as fact for how the film goes.

• I liked the film.
  
• They jump right into it at the start, so you don't get the little bit of down time before the plot really gets going in this one.
  
• Most of the scenes have very little light, which I thought really helped show that the world is starting to become darker with Voldemort and the Death Eaters running around everywhere.
  
• I was very impressed with Tom Felton, who plays Draco Malfoy. We find out that his character is asked to do a job for Lord Voldemort near the beginning of the movie, and Felton does a great job portraying how much this affects the character both around others and when he is by himself.
  
• I was slightly disappointed with Michael Gambon's portrayal of Dumbledore. One of the central storylines in this film is Dumbledore relying more heavily on Harry, but Gambon didn't really make me feel that he needed Harry like I felt Albus did in the book.
  
• I spent a majority of the movie deciding if I though Ginny Weasley was hot or not. I'm leaning toward yes, but am still undecided. I would, however, definitely fuck Hemione and Luna Lovegood.
  
• They never really introduce Fenir Greyback, who is the most powerful werewolf in the entire world in the books. You see him wandering around with Bellatrix Lestrange and a Sirius Black-esq wanted poster, but he is never given a name or reason for being there. The only reason I know who he is, is from character lists on imdb.com and wikipedia.
  
• Newcomer to the series Jim Broadbent did a great job as new professor, Horace Slughorn. He captured the egotism and lack of self-esteem perfectly.
  
• Alan Rickman , aka Professor Severus Snape, is the master of dramatic pauses. I can't decide if that is something to be proud of or not.
  
• The book focuses on how Harry goes to the top of Potions class with the help of an old textbook that belonged to "The Half Blood Prince" and becomes Slughorn's pet in class. But in the movie he uses it to win one in-class challenge and to learn a couple spells. That textbook was an important part of the story (look at the title), and it seemed to get dropped in favor of the kids' love lives.
  
• Spoiler: TEH ENDING!!!!!!!!11!

  Those who read the book know that Draco's mission is to kill Dumbledore. He ends up being unable to actually go through with it. Snape made an Unbreakable Vow with Draco's mom to protect Draco and finish his mission if Draco can't, so Snape kills Dumbledore. Harry chases after Snape, but nothing happens except Snape revealing that he is the Half Blood Prince, for no apparent reason and without explaining the moniker at all. Harry holds the body of Dumbledore, and Ginny comes up and comforts him. The movie ends with Harry telling Hermione and Ron that he isn't coming back to school, and instead will go off trying to find and destroy the remaining Horcruxes, the pieces of Voldemort's soul allowing him to be immortal. They agree to go with him, and the film ends.
• I was disappointed with the ending, as they left a lot of stuff out. They didn't tell us that the ring was destroyed, the funeral never happens, and Harry doesn't confront Ginny.

Overall, I was very happy with the movie, but they left a lot of stuff out. It seems that the focus was more on Draco internal conflict over his job and the love lives of Ron, Harry, and Hermione rather than the continuing fight to get rid of Volemort. That story was continued, but it was where a majority of the story was left in the cutting room. They also failed to explain the Half Blood Prince and his book, and why they both were so important.

Not my favorite Harry Potter movie, but it was very enjoyable.

7/10

 

[hArdyPUNKmArk]

Public Enemies

Staring: Johnny Depp, Christian Bale and
Directed by Michael Mann​

I saw this last night and it was a great film.

The movie is about notorious bank robber John Dillinger during the Great Depression in which he robbed around 2 dozen banks and broke out of jail twice.

The film is filmed in a more realistic way to most action films. I noticed that the shooting scenes were much more basic and fit the 'times' that the movie was set in. The cinematography is excellent as is the editing. I really thought the movie flowed well.

With the acting talent of Johnny Depp this movie is easily my favourite so far to be released this year. He's got that status now in my mind in terms of if I see a film with him in it, I know it will be pretty good. He's really grown as an actor and this was a more serious role compared to the 'quirky' characters he's been playing in recent years. The guy is a legend.

Christian Bale.... Well, he's probably the only fault I could pick about this movie but that may just be because I can't stand him. I didn't like him in Batman either although I loved the movie, Bale just doesn't connect with me at all in any roles he tries. It's like he's trying to hard. He has some rediculous accent/speech empedement in Public Enemies that I just don't get and he just sounds like a tool. Anyways, he does enough to keep the movie going but I really didn't like his portrayal of Purvis (the lead in the investigation against Dillinger).

Anyways, I'd like your opinions on the movie if you've seen it too.

 

[The Legendary 23]

Public Enemies

Staring: Johnny Depp, Christian Bale and
Directed by Michael Mann​

I saw this last night and it was a great film.

The movie is about notorious bank robber John Dillinger during the Great Depression in which he robbed around 2 dozen banks and broke out of jail twice.

The film is filmed in a more realistic way to most action films. I noticed that the shooting scenes were much more basic and fit the 'times' that the movie was set in. The cinematography is excellent as is the editing. I really thought the movie flowed well.

With the acting talent of Johnny Depp this movie is easily my favourite so far to be released this year. He's got that status now in my mind in terms of if I see a film with him in it, I know it will be pretty good. He's really grown as an actor and this was a more serious role compared to the 'quirky' characters he's been playing in recent years. The guy is a legend.

Christian Bale.... Well, he's probably the only fault I could pick about this movie but that may just be because I can't stand him. I didn't like him in Batman either although I loved the movie, Bale just doesn't connect with me at all in any roles he tries. It's like he's trying to hard. He has some rediculous accent/speech empedement in Public Enemies that I just don't get and he just sounds like a tool. Anyways, he does enough to keep the movie going but I really didn't like his portrayal of Purvis (the lead in the investigation against Dillinger).

Anyways, I'd like your opinions on the movie if you've seen it too.

I really went in with high expectations for it, and that may be one of the reasons I didn't like it. The movie was painfully drawn out, and a bore throughout 80% of it. I hate to say this, but the best parts of the movie were the gun fighting scenes, the loud gunfire really helped them seem that much more real. The movie also did next to nothing to explain some of the effects John Dillinger had on the nation, only twice did it hint that the public loved him. And as for John Dillinger himself, Johnny Depp was straight up boring in this one. I really want to have some nice things to say about the movie, but that's as far as it goes. I didn't enjoy it too much.

 

[jmt225]

I haven't done a review in a while, but I'm going to try to do more of them in the future. And yes... I'm stealing X's outline. It's too good not to. Anyways...

Read My Lips

Plot: Young secretary Carla is a long-time employee of a property development company. Loyal and hardworking, first to arrive and last to leave, Carla is beginning to chafe at the limitations of her career and is looking to move up. But as a 35-five-year-old woman with a hearing deficiency, she is not sure how to climb out of her humdrum life, though she is confident in her own abilities. Into her life comes Paul Angeli, a new trainee she decides to hire. Paul is 25 years old and completely unskilled, but Carla covers for him when the need arises because of his other qualities - he's a thief, fresh out of jail and very good-looking.

Director: Jacques Audiard
Writers: Jacques Audiard, Tonino Benacquista
Starring: Vincent Cassel, Emmanuelle Devos, Olivier Gourmet, Olivia Bonamy, Olivier Perrier, Bernard Alane
Year: 2001

To me, this movie was a more serious, realistic version of True Romance. And this is coming from someone who absolutely LOVES True Romance; it's one of my favorite movies of all time, but that's how good Read My Lips truly is.

True Romance is about two people who fall in love, and then rob a drug dealer and try to sell the stuff they stole to get a bunch of money. Well, the two main characters in Read My Lips don't fall in love nearly as fast as the two main characters in True Romance, but there was an attraction there right from the start and you could sense it immediately, and ultimately.... the main plot of the film is for Carla and Paulie to rob Paul's boss.

But Paul and Carla's relationship gets off to a rocky start because Carla is scared. While it's never said, it's clear she is a virgin and probably never even been kissed. Someone as delicate as she is in that manner, you can understand why she treats Paul the way she does. She's nice, but won't take any shit from him either and can be pretty demanding at times. But I think that's what attracts Paul to her. He can tell she wants him badly, but can't bring herself to do anything. Also, I think he likes the fact that she'll do nearly anything he wants, but she's not weak at the same time. Usually woman who are quick to say yes and follow your every demand are extremely weak individuals, but Carla is anything but.

Anyway, when Paul and Carla first meet, it's for a job. Carla was looking for an assistant to help her out around the office. She wanted a male, and she got one one in Paulie. As their relationship builds, they learn more about each other. Paul learns Carla can read lips, and Carla learns that Paul just got out of jail and is in trouble with a gangster named Marchand who he owes $70,000 to. Marchand finds Paul and wants his money, but instead of killing him, he hires Paul to work off the debt at the club he owns. It is there where Paul finds out Marchand is planning a heist, so he plans on robbing Marchand, with the help of Carla. And that's all I'll tell you.

Guys, it's truly a wonderful, thought provoking movie. And the climax will have you nervous as shit. It's one of the greatest, most genius endings I've seen in quite some time, actually.

The acting... shit, what can you say? It couldn't have been better. I was already a huge fan of Vincent Cassel going into this film, and Read My Lips is just more proof that he is indeed he's one of the greatest actors alive. He really is. Emmanuelle Devos, who plays Carla, I have never seen anything from her, but man she's quite the actress. She was absolutely phenomenal in this film. One of the best performance I've seen from a woman not named Kate or Cate in quite sometime.

I do have one gripe about the movie, and that was the subplot involving Paul's parole officer. I won't explain it so you can see it for yourself, but it's really strange and I didn't get it at all. I thought it slowed the movie down a notch, to be honest. Maybe if there was a prequel to this film released right after it would've made a lot of sense and made it a cool little subplot, but there isn't one. The storyline is just there and I didn't see a reason why it was.

But other than that, perfect film. I highly, highly recommend you guys find a way to watch it. I promise you will not regret it.

Rating: 9.5/10

 

[jmt225]

Flowers in the Attic

Plot: A religious grandmother imprisons her four grandchildren away from the sins of their mother after their father is killed.

Director: Jeffrey Bloom
Writer(s): Jeffrey Bloom
Starring: Louise Fletcher, Victoria Tennant, Kristy Swanson, Jeb Stuart Adams
Year: 1987

Wow... where to start with this one, huh? Well, let me explain why I watched this piece of shit in the first place. After working a nightshirt, I come home, hang on the computer for a while, and then I eat breakfast. While I eat breakfast, I usually watch Mike & Mike in the Morning. Now, this morning was no different. But right when I sat down to eat, boom... commercial. And if you know anything about radio shows, you know the commercials last around 10 minutes long, literally. So I decided just to press Guide and see what else was on. I came across a film called Flowers in the Attic, starring Louise Fletcher and Kristy Swanson. The plot looked decide enough, so I decided fuck it, why not? But oh boy was that a mistake.

Seriously, after the first 15 minutes, I only kept watching just so I could come give a review here once it was done. That was honestly it. This movie is fucking terrible in every sense of the word. It's one of the worst I've ever seen, if not THE worst. It's honestly THAT bad.

I guess I should try and explain the shitty plot, but I'd be damned if I make any sense of it.

Teenagers Chris and Cathy, and 4-year-old twins Cory and Carrie all love their parents, especially their perfect daddy. Cathy is convinced that she's daddy's favorite because he bought her a present one night. After about 3 minutes of this lovey dubby stuff, the kids and mom are preparing for daddy's surprised birthday party, but when he arrives home, it's not really him. It's the cops to inform the wife and kids that daddy has died. We don't know how, but probably a car wreck.

I guess daddy didn't have life insurance even though he's so perfect, because after a bit, the family loses everything. The mom has to sell the house and every possession they own. Her solution, instead of getting a job herself, is to move back in with her parents house, because they're rich. Apparently, she did something in the past that pissed her father (who is dying) off, which put her off his inheritance. She figures that now since he's dying, it would be easy to get back in his good graces, so she comes up with this genius plan to go there and make up with him, so when he dies, she can get all this money and her and her family can live happily ever after.

When they arrive to the house, the grandmother is not too nice. She locks the kids up in this room where there are two beds, a bathroom, and a stair way to the attic. Her rules are that the boys shall sleep with the boys, and the girls shall sleep with the girls. She feeds them occasionally, and the mother visits sometimes. And the trash that is this film goes from there.

Words cannot how horrible this movie really is. I mean, after I got done watching, I was just sitting there thinking to myself, "What was the point to making this film?" I still have yet to work up an answer. There is no reason for a movie like this to exist. It's stupid, depressing, hateful, and there's not an entertaining or suspenseful moment in it. It's just pure garbage.

First of all, nothing makes sense. No mother who has truly loved their children for 17 years would EVER put their kids through this, no matter how much they want money. It's just not possible. If someone is a bad mother, they're that from the get go; they don't all of the sudden decide they don't want their kids after 17 years of love and caring.

And there are so many other problems with this movie. For example, when one of the youngins is dying because of what we all thing at that point is starvation, the two older kids find a way to get out of the room, and look around the house. Instead of going to the kitchen to get the little one some food, they just search through rooms and look at their grandfather laying their asleep, approaching him to see if he's alive and dead. What the fuck? That was the stupidest shit I've ever seen in a movie. I don't care how old you are, no one is that dumb.

Another problem with this film is the incest overtone between the older brother and sister. It is extremely unconformable to watch. I don't care what the circumstances are, teenage brothers and sisters don't look at each other change clothes and don't wash their backs while they're sitting naked in the tub. They just don't. And to make the feeling worse, it was revealed that the reason the mom's father hated her was because the man she married, the kids father, was actually his much younger brother. So, yeah... you read that right. The kids mother and father were actually niece and uncle before they were husband and wife. Give me a fucking break.

The acting... my goodness, could it have been worse? Those little kids, bless their heart, you can tell they tried, but holy fuck were they terrible. Kristy Swanson, who isn't a bad actress by any means and will always be the REAL Buffy in my mind, was really bad in this as well. The guy who played the son, and the woman who played the mother, were by far the worst two performances though. Jesus they were beyond horrible. Louise Fletcher plays a mean old bitch, but it's nothing compared to her Nurse Ratched in One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest. And that's it. Terrible cast.

But honestly... cast fucking Johnny Depp as the big brother and Cate Blanchett as the older sister, and the movie still turns out to be a huge steaming pile of shit. It's just an all around horrible movie. I'm still in disbelief someone would actually make this. I just read that there's a remake in the works right now. Hopefully that shit doesn't happen. I'm sure the book this film is based on is somewhat better and makes a little more sense, if that's possible, but there's no need for another attempt to adapt it to film. The premise just doesn't work, especially in today's society. Hell, just yesterday I saw a story that completely broke my heart where in 1991 an 11-year-old girl was captured and kept locked up in the shed as a sex slave for almost 20 years. She also was forced to have two children by her kidnapper. Horrific story, and movies like this are just reminders of them, especially when they're as horrendous as this one is.

In conclusion, please take my word for it and never watch this, if you haven't already. It's really not worth your time. I'll give it a 0.5 overall, and that .5 is just for a really good shot of Kristy Swanson in her bra. Other than those two seconds, there's no reason to ever lay your eyes on this terrible, terrible film.

Rating: 0.5/10

 

[Dave]

I want to do a joint review here but I feel that it will be shit. Nevertheless, I will plod on and tell you what I thought of the two films I have recently ventured to the local cinema to see.

The first movie I went to see was the much-talked about movie:

Inglorious Basterds.

Now, people have been saying that this movie is brilliant and with that in mind I ventured in and had high hopes for the movie. Naturally, most of the movies that I see are complete gash and have been hyped to the sky before I see it. I went to see this movie with a few of my friends, who are by the way, history enthusiasts just like me. We loved learning anything about the second World War in history and have been obsessed with learning more about it since we were very young. We loved the politics of it and we all excelled in that subject. So, with high hopes in our minds, we went to see this movie.

I liked it! It was entertaining and more importantly, not shit. I think that some of the dialogue in the movie is exceptional and some of the cast did some of the finest acting I have ever seen. Christoph Waltz as Hans Landa and Eli Roth as Donowitz were outstanding in their roles. This is especially true of Waltz who was amazing, really a stand out performance from him. Everyone knows what this movie is about by now and I needn't cover it. The story was brilliant too. I mean it is not exactly historically accurate but that was good. If it was their would be no surprise to it at all and people would not have had the same liking of it if it was. I also loved how all the storylines inter-mingled and made sense. It is a great movie.

The only thing I did not like about it is the extensive talking scenes that took place in the movie. The bar scene was brilliant but could have done with being trimmed a bit. The same can be said about the opening scene. I am not saying they were bad but could have done the exact same thing with less dialogue. I know Tarantino movies are not all action but those extensive talking scenes got boring after a while, at least for me. I have been slated for thinking this but that's what movies are all about, forging opinions.

I loved this movie and it only gets better every time I think back on it.

Rating 9.0/10

The other movie I went to see was:

Funny People

I really enjoyed this movie. Stand up comedy is a great vice of mine and I was always going to see this movie, regardless of how well or badly it was reviewed. Needless to say, I adored it. Seth Rogan and Adam Sandler are just brilliant in this movie. It is some of the finest acting I have seen Adam Sandler ever perform and he was exceptional. It is a much darker movie than what he is used to and he just took the role and made it his own. The stand up comedy in it was pretty funny and it did not let me down. The story is pretty good and kept me entertained throughout.

This movie will be big and will probably sell a lot of tickets. It is not the best movie I have ever seen but it is worthy of the money you pay for your ticket. Some of the comedy in it is brilliant and I laughed my ass off at the character that Jonah Hill plays in the movie. He too, was brilliant and delivers just what you would expect from him in this role. A really good movie that if you go and see it, you will not be disappointed.

Rating 7.5/10

 

[Razor]

So. Here's my review of 9.

-------------------------------------

First of all, the soundtrack was amazing. That is to be expected, considering Danny Elfman was the man in charge. He ran the helm for the first two Batman films and some other Burton movies.

Secondly, the movie was beautiful. They were great at creating a post-apocalyptic world. I was legitimately engrossed into the scenery, and felt like I was in a world ravaged by a war between man and machine.

On to the acting. Ooooh my god. Horrible, shit acting. Elijah Wood and Jennifer Connelly was surprisingly bad. John C. Reilly and Christopher Plummer (5 and 1, respectively) were the bright spots. I really felt for Reilly's character, and I wanted nothing more than for someone to cut Plummer's doll's head off. He aggravated me so. The dolls that didn't speak; 3,4 and 8; were animated very well. Their facial expressions and mannerisms were done so well I at least wanted Elijah Wood and Jennifer Connelly's dolls to get into an accident and have to communicate like 8. It would have made for a much better film.

Now, on to the worst part. The story. I would say I don't wanna ruin the story for you guys...but there wasn't one. It's like they stringed together events and hoped you didn't figure out that there wasn't a point for them until the very end. There was literally no point until the last 15 minutes of the movie. If that.

Tim Burton's co-produced a beautiful and musically powerful film. Now if only that film had a story worth half a shit.

 

[Dave]

OK. I thought that I would come in ere and review a movie which I have just seen. That movie is:

Zombieland

I want to split this down into sections, that way I will get everything that I want to say out in the open.

Hype: This movie had me excited when I saw the first trailer about three weeks ago and I don't often get that about new movies. Usually, I will be one of the last people to go and see a movie because I hear about it through hearsay and then eventually hear about how great a movie is. By that point I have decided to go and see the movie and so when I saw the trailer for Zombieland, I was shocked that I gave it the reaction that I did. As I say, it is very rare that I get a connection to a movie before it has been released and with all the talk about it on here, I had high hopes pinned on this movie before I even saw it. I am also a very big fan of Woody Harrelson and had my eye on him the full time, to deliver a stellar performance like I know he can.

The Movie: The movie itself has a great plot, which is similar to a lot of other movies in this sub-genre. It is very like 28 Days Later in terms of plot and setting etc but has all the wit of a dark comedy mixed into it. As I said before, I had high hopes for this movie and I couldn't help but feel that everything I could have asked for from this movie was answered and delivered. This is a wickedly funny movie that has dark humour entangled in it's core. It is based on a premise that "Columbus", the protagonist is the only remaining human being after a disease spreads like wild-fire, leaving only him to fend off the zombie hordes. He is a loner and has made a set of hilarious rules to live by. I say hilarious but they must be working if he has lasted this long, right? Nevertheless, he uses these rules in an attempt to get back to Columbus to see if his father and Mother are still alive. I don't want to spoil the plot line any more but that is the main premise of the movie.

Anywho, this all changes when he meets Tallahassee, a loner who takes great joy out of the smaller things in life and they embark upon a journey across the ravaged wastelands to get where they are heading. On the way, hilarity ensues with the dynamic between the two males stars. Tallahassee is amazingly dark and every word he utters is brilliant. Columbus is very much the same although he is much more awkward funny, kind of like Michael Cera in Superbad. Anyway, they meet up with two other survivors and are constantly outwitted.

One other moment that I want to mention, is the moments with Bill Murray. I had no idea he was in this movie and I was greatly surprised by his performance. He is hilariously funny and the time that they spend with him is just another reason to love this film.

Cast: Oh my God, Woody Harrelson is just epic in this movie. He plays his character to a tee and is just the greatest character ever put to film. I know that is saying a lot but he is just terrific. In case you haven't noticed yet, I loved this movie and Harellson was the main reason why. He is bad-ass in places and just blindingly funny in others. Apart from him, Emma Stone (Mmmm) is very good in this movie and Jesse Eisenberg is really good too. The cast were fabulous down to Bill Murray. Juts a tremendous performance from everyone in this movie and they should all be in the nominations when Oscar time rolls around, I hope.

David's Rating: 10/10

Go and see it now.​