The IWC Bible - 2009 Edition

[Worlds_Greatest_Booker]

38. Thou Shall talk about about how they would book Wrestlemania, summerslam etc

this happens every month about how someone doesnt like how a PPV is booked and how they would book it instead

 

[Y-2-Jay]

39. Thou should belive the devil Vince Russo killed WCW.

Dont know if its true or not but we all know this is said a lot.

Amen my brothers and sisters.

 

[Ambiguous Turd]

40. Thou shall not take thy Lord, Vince McMahon's name in vain.

Any who criticize ye Al Mighty and Powerful Vincent Kennedy McMahon shall be condemned for eternity in the Great Lake of Eternal Fire.

 

[The Dewbliners]

41. And, yea, the IWC shall regard the Attitude Era, and it's Stars as the Greatest Era, ever. So it is written, so shall it come to Pass.

I don't know how much more explanation is needed for this argument. I mean, the WWE was steadily losing in the Monday Night Wars, for a the first year and a half of the AE. And, when they weren't behind in the ratings, it was pretty much neck to neck until Vinnie Ru left for the WCW. And the fact that everyone from that era is still going strong, and none of them are retired, speaks volumes. I'm just sick of that assertion, the Attitude Era was not all that we remember it to be.

 

[The Todd]

42 - Thou shalt think that Shelton Benjamin and Christian are gods and should Main Event WrestleMania together

Shelton is a terrific wrestler who not only pulls off a great ladder jump each year, but also puts on 5 star matches every week, makes hilarious promos on Japanese wrestlers and is a better pro wrestler than John Cena.

Christian is the most successful member of the greatest tag team ever. Whilst Edge was winning world title after world title and main eventing WrestleMania, Christian was putting on really good matches in that other shit company, which automatically makes him better and deserving of headlining WrestleMania straight away.

 

[JenovasWitness]

43. Every member of the IWC is a bearer of first hand knowledge of the wrestling business and their word shall be taken as though inscribed into stone tablets and considered the Great Gospel of Wrestling Truth!

It's true, it's true. It does not matter that you do not work for the WWE or TNA or ROH and that you don't have intimate conversations with the employees of these companies. You know that whatever knowledge you have to offer to whichever chosen Forum you are a member of is in fact 100% truth and anybody that has the absolute gall to disagree with you or attempt to debate with you is nothing more then a noob who doesn't have a fucking shred of intelligence in his mind. "Your mama" jokes and insults directed at their grammar and spelling is the appropriate response to such inane machinations.

 

[The Dewbliners]

44. Thou shalt question the lord thy Vinces mental stability when he releases a performer.

Because, simply, he must be daft when he fires a worker who's injury prone, or shows up after a year on the shelf looking out of shape. That's the only explanation, right? Right?!

 

[Ambiguous Turd]

45. It is an abomination before God for any wrestler not to get over with the audience, irregardless if they have no character, no gimmick, no personality, is not allowed to speak on the mic, and is involved in no storyline.

Failure to get over with the audience based solely on in-ring skills is punishable by death.



46. Thou shall view wrestling as a sport.

This is what ye must believe with all thy heart. However, thy must avoid embarrassment by telling others ye "view wrestling as Entertainment" to avoid being ridiculed.

The wrestling product is completely scripted with pre-determined outcomes, however ye must tell thyself the matches are "legitimate competition".



47. And so it is written that ye Ring of Honor is thy best wrestling promotion.

As inscribed by the Prophet 48.7, there shalt not be any God placed before Bryan Danielson but also no promotion placed before Ring of Honor. Ye must understand and accept that even though WWE may be the largest promotion, Ring of Honor is the BEST promotion.

Thou shall work tirelessly in seeking that WWE fully replicate Ring of Honor. Only then, will the Prophecy be fulfilled and the Messiah may rise again.



48. Blessed be those disciples of Ring of Honor, for thou art thy Lord, Bryan Danielson's Chosen People.

It is decreed that any disciple of Ring of Honor be a far superior wrestling fan to all others. Thou shalt be known as a "Real Wrestling Fan" and may mock, ridicule, and spit on other wrestling fans, for thou art superior. All other wrestling fans shall kneel down in thy presence and worship the ground ye walks on.

Since ye disciples of Ring of Honor are "Real Wrestling Fans" and know better than all others the type of wrestling "fans should be liking", ye may have the authority to stomp out the opinions of any who oppose, by any means necessary. This includes mocking the Attitude Era and others taste in wrestling, decreeing endlessly that "Thy Attitude Era is DEAD!", decreeing "Thy Attitude Era is NEVER COMING BACK", and insulting PG-14 programming, while pretending that ye are really looking out for thy best interests of children.

 

[The Doctor]

49. Thou shalt not show any enthusiasm for the product of Professional Wrestling.

TNA sucks, WWE sucks, pro wrestling in general sucks. There are no redeeming factors. Everything is booked incorrectly and stupidly. Anyone who claims they like the product shall be referred to as a "mark" and dealt with severely.

 

[D-Man]

50. Thou shalt continuously insult the bane of the WWE... its golden goose... its trademark... THE SPINNER BELT.

Because the spinner belt is public enemy number one to any IWC smark. It doesn't matter that it's one of the most sold items out of all WWE merchandise. It's ugly, so crucify it.

51. Randy Orton will never be known for his wrestling skill, chiseled physique, or legacy. He will be known from this moment forth as... boring.

He's the top heel on Raw and the company has kept him in that position for almost two straight years, regardless of other heel competition on the show such as Jericho, the Big Show, and The Miz. He also doesn't deserve the title. Nope, not for second.

 

[Motor City Mayhem]

52. Thou Shalt Think Vince McMahon Is Racist.

Mark Henry Is An ECW Champion, Booker T is A World Heavy Weight Champ, Kofi Kingston, Current US Champ...But Because Benjamin has never won a world title, Vince McMahon is Racist.

53. Ye Who Truly Think That Hogan vs Austin Will One Day Happen Is A Noob.

Yes we all think about it, want it, but we all know it wont happen, and those who believe it will are subject to discrimination, and Exile.

54. Thou Shalt Say That WWE Needs More Titles, Then Say They Need Less

Like 16 and 26 Before me said, thou shalt complain about one thing, then complain about it and want the other.

 

[Ambiguous Turd]

55. Ye may be free to worship any and all WWE talents. However, if a talent ever leaves on thy own free will, ye must lose respect for him, pretend you never liked him, and condemn thee to Hell.

Any WWE talent should be praised as ye see fit. However, once a talent may leave, ye must degrade, insult, and ridicule them. For example, ye must decree that "The Rock be Thy Great One", however once learning he is leaving for the sacred town of Hollywood, ye must rescind your praise and decree "The Rock sold out! He'll never make it in ye sacred town of Hollywood. He was over-rated, anyway."

Another example, "Jeff Hardy deserves to win the WWE Championship. Used properly, he is not." Then, once learning he puts in notice, ye must rescind your praise and decree "Jeff Hardy is a pile of walking narcotics. He is a pot-smoking, no-talent, washed up burnout. I never liked him anyway."

 

[RVDgurl]

56. I am the WWE and thou shall have no other gods before me. Therefore no other wrestling company shall contribute ANYTHING to the business and any accomplishment reached by any wrestler outside of the WWE shall hold no value.

TNA, ROH, NWA, etc, etc all suck and should cease to exist because they aren't as big as the WWE and they don't make as much money- therefore these companies cannot possible contribute anything to the wrestling business. In addition, any wrestler who does not work for the WWE is simply lacking talent. How could AJ Styles, Bryan Danielson or Sting possibly have any talent when they have never held a WWE title?

9. There shalt be no other gods before me, but Bryan Danielson

Bryan Danielson is the God of the IWC. He's the best pure wrestler in the world, knows seven hundred variations of the wristlock and can chain wrestle for six straight hours! He should be main-eventing WrestleMania, because he's that damn good.

Please tell me where this place is....I wanna go there!!

 

[Ambiguous Turd]

56. I am the WWE and thou shall have no other gods before me. Therefore no other wrestling company shall contribute ANYTHING to the business and any accomplishment reached by any wrestler outside of the WWE shall hold no value.

TNA, ROH, NWA, etc, etc all suck and should cease to exist because they aren't as big as the WWE and they don't make as much money- therefore these companies cannot possible contribute anything to the wrestling business. In addition, any wrestler who does not work for the WWE is simply lacking talent. How could AJ Styles, Bryan Danielson or Sting possibly have any talent when they have never held a WWE title?


Please tell me where this place is....I wanna go there!!

No, no dear Sister. You are contradicting previous scribes within the IWC Bible. We will have no False Prophets here in our IWC congregation.

Bryan Danielson is undeniably the God of the IWC. There may be other Gods, but there is none greater than He. If you haven't noticed this in the IWC, then you must be traveling in the Wilderness, where communications are dim.

Bryan Danielson is the Highest Power amongst the IWC and His disciples and the ROH fans are far superior wrestling fans compared to any other. Don't take my word for it ... just ask them. They are "Real Wrestling Fans".

 

[RVDgurl]

No, no dear Sister. You are contradicting previous scribes within the IWC Bible. We will have no False Prophets here in our IWC congregation.

Bryan Danielson is undeniably the God of the IWC. There may be other Gods, but there is none greater than He. If you haven't noticed this in the IWC, then you must be traveling in the Wilderness, where communications are dim.

Bryan Danielson is the Highest Power amongst the IWC and His disciples and the ROH fans are far superior wrestling fans compared to any other. Don't take my word for it ... just ask them. They are "Real Wrestling Fans".

Maybe on other forums, but certainly not this one. Pay closer attention; WZ as a whole is on Team WWE. It's funny how some people claim that the IWC views Bryan Danielson as a God, yet myself and only a handful of others have good things to say about him. Your perception of the IWC is definately skewed.

I stand by my commandment, young Lord Sidious.

 

[Ambiguous Turd]

Maybe on other forums, but certainly not this one. Pay closer attention; WZ as a whole is on Team WWE. It's funny how some people claim that the IWC views Bryan Danielson as a God, yet myself and only a handful of others have good things to say about him. Your perception of the IWC is definately skewed.

I stand by my commandment, young Lord Sidious.

Where as I would definitely continue this, it will ruin and detract from the thread's purpose. It actually already has, which is why I regret responding in the first place. However, we shall continue on, young one, for ye knows not what ye writes.



57. And it be scribed that thou shall despise Michael Cole.

Michael Cole is the bane of Play by Play Commentators. One must not forgive him for following orders of thy God, Vincent Kennedy McMahon, in how to do Play by Play commentary.

Additionally, one must never forgive Michael Cole for taking Jim Ross' place on Raw, as it must be known that this was Cole's decision to make, on his own. And it be known that Jim Ross' own commentary style has been toned down, as well, thanks to thy God, Vince McMahon, however ye must pretend that the Jim Ross of today was thy Jim Ross of old.

So it is written. So it shall come to pass.

 

[Phoenix]

58. Sting shall be coming to the WWE

Much like Undertaker, HBK, Triple H, retirement is entirely out of the question. They will always be in the Main Event and they will be joined by Sting, because it's destiny quite frankly. Nothing is going to stop it happening, Sting will be joining the promised land after long years of waiting!

59. Brett Dibiase is too young to be on the main roster

Yes the WWE is an ageist community, the older member will always be the champions and the young rookies are destined to be in FCW until the tender age of 26. Good god, Brett Dibiase just broke the code? Much like Randy Orton, he is destined to in the midcard until he is near the age of 30!

60. Undertaker automatically deserves title shots after 5 month abscenes

He has a magic trump card that he received after Wrestlemania, he's built up quite a collection each year to entitle him to a title shot which will engage in a long feud with the champion, don't worry he shall suceded and by then all of the Smackdown midcard will be Main Event stars, just in time for another hiatus.

 

[Барбоса]

61. Chris Jericho saved us

The wrestling world was a dark and sinful place before the Second Coming. Now we bathe in the light. There were doubters when the code was broken but the Ayatollah has redeemed many wrestling souls. Bear witness to Brothers Show and Steamboat.

62. Straight-Edge is the way to the future

Building on the work of the Ayatollah, Straight-Edge C.M. Punk has been embraced by Smackdown leading to its prosperity.

 

[Uncle Phatso]

63. Just what are steroids?

And if your favorite wrestler is caught with them at any time in his life... Deny it vehemently, they arent his, his wife put them in his drink, or he was "holding" them for Chris Benoit. But whatever you do don't let other smarks besmudge your favorite wrestlers name!