The Ins and Outs of the Anaconda Vice (feat. Bargain Basement Announcing)

[H33LTurn]

So taking your logic and isolating it, if John Cena were to hit the Attitude Adjustment somewhere in the middle, which would bring the fans to give out a loud cheers and the commentators to talk in a more rapid and expectant tone which they did at SummerSlam when CM Punk transitioned the move.

Michael Cole or Booker T 'ought to forget the AA and just call it the "Variation of a Death Valley Driver"? Because if it gains the same reaction as Punk's transition into the Anaconda Vice, then its not as much of a tide-turner as that.

What? The AA is John Cena's finisher. The anaconda vice happens to be a submission which CM Punk does a lot.

I'm no MMA expert, but this is the first Google Images result when you type in "full guard" (no hyperlinking allowed, apparently): http://www.flickr.com/photos/21693164@N06/2288645977/

That's the position they were in and Cole did call it an Anaconda Vice. Dave Meltzer even mentioned it in his report on the show. That Cole's called that, the Koji Clutch and anything involving Punk being on the floor an Anaconda Vice pretty much disproves this:

Like I said, I didnt remember it. if it happened then it did.

Firstly, it was a key moment - it was a potential finish. Secondly, Booker T explicitly called it a Key Lock. Thirdly, the other two didn't even attempt to correct him.

Like I said, its Booker's first rodeo. Second of all the key lock looks like this. http://farmer-burns.com/images/shoulderlock.jpg. It wouldnt be stange for a wrestling teacher who hasnt been announcing for so long to call a move by its original name than its stage name.

I'll gladly assume it, the fact that they had a month to learn from their mistake making it even more pathetic, and continue to complain that they don't revere a wrestler's signature move enough to call it by its correct name.

You can do what you want but they'll called it the Anaconda Vice before so that assumption is pretty dumb. Second, if all the sudden they stopped calling it the anaconda vice then there might be an actual reason behind it.

 

[Nate DaMac]

What? The AA is John Cena's finisher. The anaconda vice happens to be a submission which CM Punk does a lot.

Alright, put it this way. Remember at Wrestlemania 17 (I think) when Austin busted out the Million Dollar Dream, a submission move that used to be his finisher when he first came into the WWE? If the announcers didn't know what that move was called and just called it a variation of a Sleeper hold, they would have failed to sell it properly.

The Anaconda Vice was a finisher for Punk when he firs started and he uses it in big matches as a call back. You know, digging down so deep to try to put his opponent away that he busts out a move he hasn't used in a long time? The announcers failed to sell it, so it's impact is lessened.

Any better?

 

[H33LTurn]

Alright, put it this way. Remember at Wrestlemania 17 (I think) when Austin busted out the Million Dollar Dream, a submission move that used to be his finisher when he first came into the WWE? If the announcers didn't know what that move was called and just called it a variation of a Sleeper hold, they would have failed to sell it properly.

The Anaconda Vice was a finisher for Punk when he firs started and he uses it in big matches as a call back. You know, digging down so deep to try to put his opponent away that he busts out a move he hasn't used in a long time? The announcers failed to sell it, so it's impact is lessened.

Any better?

Yeah, I get that they didnt sell its properly but comparing it to an actual finisher is just absurd. Like I said, there was an awkwawrd silence when he did it, which could've meant many things, but not that they didnt know what the move is called. It could've easily been WWE telling them not to call the move the anaconda vice anymore, which would justify Booker calling it a key hold and cole calling it the anaconda vice anyway because cole is an idiot.

 

[TheViper97]

yeah its starting to piss me off espically booker t for not knowing the moves heck i even know most of the moves and to not know what cm punk's signature move is preety sad

you see that is why if they actually cared about there position Michael cole should do what jim ross did and ask the wrestlers invoved in match what king of moves and shit there going to do so commentary can e more accurate

 

[The Calgary Kid]

The anaconda vise is not just "a submission hold that Punk uses a lot", as H33LTurn claims; it is his SECONDARY/SUBMISSION FINISHER. He used it a lot on opponents last year during his feud with Big Show, proving that he had a way of finishing him off without having to get him up for the GTS. Before the GTS became his primary finisher, the anaconda vise was his ONLY finisher. They needed to sell it as a critical spot in the match, just like the STF that Punk broke out of prior to applying it.

As NthDegree23 pointed out at the top of the page, on Raw, during the first match of his previous feud with Cena, Punk applied a koji clutch, to which Cole responded to by shouting "ANACONDA VISE! ANACONDA VISE!" He didn't stop there, though. He went on to sell it as, "If you haven't seen it yet, Punk has ended several matches with this hold!" At least it was an attempt to put the move over, but he was putting over the wrong move, which just confuses people if they've seen the anaconda vise before and don't remember him using the koji clutch.

I think that the most egregious instance of failure to put the anaconda vise over was when Punk came out on Smackdown, dressed as Jeff Hardy and cutting a heel promo on how he changed the landscape of WWE by retiring Jeff Hardy and was able to do it because he's Straight Edge and therefore better. He explained that he didn't smoke, drink or do drugs, but had "one VICE", which was an anaconda. Brilliant pun, nice segue. Todd Grisham says, "I wonder what he meant by that."

Not to stray too far off topic, but as an example of bad commentary and inability to call moves correctly, I alternate between thinking Grisham is passable or one of the worst. I watched Gabriel vs. Kidd from NXT because I had heard it was awesome (I don't watch NXT otherwise), and there was a spot where Grisham doesn't know what to call a plancha. Regal calls it a plancha, with an English accent (next word beginning with a vowel, sometimes a soft "R" sound in between), and Grisham refers to it as a "plancher". I mean, come on, really?

There was a time when I didn't like Matt Striker. I thought his heel commentary was a bit forced at times, particularly when putting Punk over, actually. I cannot even begin to describe how much I miss the shit out of that man and his presence behind the desk.

 

[RavensEdge]

I have noticed the announcers inability to recognize what the anaconda vice is when CM Punk uses it or something similar to it. But that isn't the worst announcer mistake I've ever heard.

The one that has always bothered me the most and to me the one where as soon as he walked backstage the first time he said it someone should've slapped him is Mike Tenay calling Christopher Daniels springboard moonsault a split legged moonsault. He did it continuosly for months and months and apparently nobody wanted to correct him. If you spring off the ropes and your legs are together it isn't split legged is it Tenay?

Like I said it was a while ago, I don't think he's done it since RVD(who actually performs a split legged moonsault obviously) has joined the company but that always irritated the hell out of me.

 

[TheCrusher]

Probably the best way for the announce team to "do their homework" on move names is to play "Smackdown vs Raw" and create move sets. My 8 and 10 year old know an incredible number of moves by name because of that game. If you set out specifically with the goal of learning move names, you could get quite good at it quite quickly.

As for some of the old wrestlers forgetting move names...I have coached football at some level from Pee Wee to high school for the last 17 years. And I have seen older coaches who know a tremendous amount about the game call things by the wrong name all the time. They have been through so many name changes and variations that they just describe what they're talking about in the terms they're used to and get the point across. Also, they just plain forget the names sometimes. It's part of getting older. I'm only 45 and I see it in myself on (rare) occasions. Not saying these particular old coaches would make good announcers, but not using the correct name all the time doesn't mean you don't have a tremendous pool of knowledge about the sport, or "sports entertainment" if that's what they're calling it these days.

 

[Sheamus' Suntan]

I am TOTALLY with Sam on this.

Commentators are supposed to tell the story of the match, creating an atmosphere for the people paying to watch the match at home. In all truth, commentary should add to the PPV's and matches...

Now what happens when I think of commentary in WWE;

Booker T is going to talk about food.
Honestly at Wrestlemania 27 he mentioned candy, chicken, rice, peas...and im sure he went on about seasoning at some point too all as metaphors for the matches but...it was awful. Made it seem more like he had been starved for a week.

I assume now Cole is going to MAJORLY fuck up. Like MAJORLY.
I assume King is going to cover it by starting an argument with Cole.


MITB...set me off edge. Punk clearly had Cena in a full guard. It was painfully obvious, yet here we are, Cole is screaming ANACONDA VISE at us. Sorry but no. That is NOT the move.

I see it all the time also in other places. Booker and Cole, constantly telling us one move is another. Side slams become Spinebusters, powerslams become side slams. Seriously...someone explain to me when THAT change was made, yet Cole for the past 4 months now has been calling ALL powerslams (notably the Randy Orton powerslam) a side slam.

It's CONSTANT with them and...it takes me out of the match because I end up complaining about the failures off the commentators. If they called it correctly, I'd feel more like I was watching a proper match and not a laughing stock.

JR at least calls moves properly...he bumbles through commentary but he gets it right and I would prefer to have him over Cole at a PPV. JR also could then correct Booker if he's wrong.

I also hate the fact Booker was trained as a wrestler but clearly did not know what any of the moves were called. He should be the best trained of the bunch as he's won how many titles? Yeah.

I just find myself really annoyed with commentary these days and feel like they take away from matches rather than add to them.

 

[FightOwensFight]

I think my biggest issue with the improperly called moves (especially the signature-type moves) is that it is jarring to me. Almost like going over a speed-bump.

Here I am enjoying whatever watch happens to be on. It is going back and forth and is just a fun match to be watching. All of a sudden, the "big move name here" is applied and the announcer calls it wrong. Even though I am not looking for that type of mistake and analyzing everything they say I still notice it and automatically "pull up short", thinking to myself, "What did he just say? That wasn't the move".

To me it is no different than watching a baseball game and a pitcher drops in a beautiful off-speed pitch only to hear the announcer chime in with "Good fastball over the outside corner!".

 

[Hulk Hogan's Brother]

That anaconda vice bit always bothers me but it is probably the only thing that bothers me. Let's just say that I do not exactly have huge expectations about the announcing team. For long, ever since I have started watching wrestling, the only thing that I have seen announcers do is mark out like a five year old girl over a wrestler of their alignment. The good announcers to me are the ones who put a lot of emotion behind this mark out, for example look at the tirade JR launches on Bret when he beats down on Austin at WM 13 after the match or when Austin turned heel at WM 17, and the bad ones are those guys with whom this reaction looks forced.

But yes calling a finishing move wrong bothers me. It makes me feel that the wrestler is somewhat unimportant to the organization. I mean, can you ever imagine Cole calling Cena's AA a Fireman Carry Slam? So why should it be different for Punk?

For the other moves, I do not mind it much. Yes, it does make the announcers look a bit stupid. I mean that announcers have a job in kayfabe as well. In kayfabe, they are paid to describe to the audience what exactly a wrestler is doing out there and if they don't do their job well, they should be fired, right? But I guess that there is a simple way out of it as well. Like in the sequence at SummerSlam Booker should not even have attempted trying to name the moves if he was not sure. He could have gone with something like " What an amazing sequence, man." or something like that and it could have gone easily unnoticed.