The best lines ever

[jsnsince89]

CM Punk: "CAN YOU SAY THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?"

SCSA: "I CAN WHIP YOUR ASS BACKWARDS!!!"

#WhenAttitudeMeetsPG

 

[Rvdrvd]

"Austin 316 says I just whooped your ass." maybe the all time classic line.

 

[Hard Hit Prince]

This one is from my favorite promo of all time - perfect delivery, two of my favorite wrestlers ever. The sentence in question is in bold, but I'll post the whole promo because it is that damn good.

Jake Roberts: "Well, well. The Million Dollar Man, Ted DiBiase. Here we are at WrestleMania, and it's the biggest match of your career. Why? Because everything you stand for is on the line, mainly, the Million Dollar Belt. Oh yeah, you see it can be yours once again. All you have to do is go through Damien, and me. But you see, Damien and I don't forget, we remember all the times you made people grovel for your money. These were people far less fortunate than you, people who could use your money for essentials, and what did you do? You made fun of them. You humbled them and you humiliated them. Well, now it's my turn. I'm going to make you beg, DiBiase, you are going to get down on your hands and knees. This time, you'll be the one that's humbled. This time, you'll be the one that's humiliated, and this time, you will be the one that grovels for the money. And how appropriate, that the money you grovel for is your very own. A victim of your own greed, wallowing in the muck of avarice."

One thing that people don't give credit too is Jake Robert's promo content. I also remember the story of the rabbit and the snake and it felt so damn real. A lot of the good promo guys delivered some great lines. You can quote Ric Flair, Roddy Pipper, Dusty Rhodes. I think the best lines have more impact if the guy delivering it really believes that. I also enjoyed a Michael Cole promo with Brian Cristopher where both knocked on Lawler - it felt so real when Brian said to his own father: Let's get one thing straight: The only reason I never used your name is because I'm ashamed of you."

 

[HeenanGorilla]

One thing that people don't give credit too is Jake Robert's promo content.[/I]

When I saw the title of this post, that was the exact promo I thought of immediately. I am 100% with you there. But, Jake's promo content is the one thing everyone seems to agree on...it was awesome. Not sure what you're talking about there.

I think 1992 Bobby Heenan had so many gems. Rumble, Mania...you want good lines, pop those DVDs in. Great addition to those classic PPVs.

 

[MMK]

The greatest line in the history of wrestling belongs to Bobby Heenan. It's 1992 and Bobby is on commentary during the famous "Barber Shop" segment featuring Shawn and Marty.

After Shawn throws Marty through the barber shop window, Heenan says "Did you see that? Jannetty tried to jump through the window to escape!"

Nothing will ever top that. Ever.

 

[salopstick]

1. With a tear in my eye

2. Ice cream and manure

My favourite lines from my two favourite promos

 

[RedRegan1005]

Some great responses. One funny one that I always loved that a few have mentioned is

The Undertaker to the Crowd: "Say what again if you like to sleep with your sister."

I don't think I've ever heard anyone been able to come up with a line to combat that What?! chants that well.But, I did kind also like it when

R-Truth: "Don't What Me!
Crowd: "What!?"
R-Truth: "Ok What Me!"

 

[MoxleyCrue]

Disclaimer - I'm not going to say these are the best lines ever, but they are my favourites. There's too much from "back in the day" that was awesome, I can't even remember most of it so these are more recent.

CM Punk - Do I have everybody's attention now?

CM Punk - Vince, I'll kick you in the nuts and you'll smile at me and like it, and show me some respect.

Joey Styles - I am sick of sports entertainment.

Some of the stuff Ambrose says in interviews where you can see Reigns trying so hard not to laugh, can't find direct quotes.

Dean Ambrose - Nope.

Paul Heyman - You like men kissing your ass, don't you Vince?

Paul Heyman - Your father shook the hand of every promoter in this country and swore to them that he would never compete against them, that his son would never compete against them.

Essentially that whole promo Heyman cut on Vince.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=enG7mQ6gAv4

Jump to 6:30

 

[Undertaker rules1993]

The Undertaker to The Rock: "Although I dont dress like satan no more im still down with the devil and I will go medevil on your ass!! My faviroute line

Vince Mcmahon: ITS ME AUSTIN IT WAS ME ALL ALONG!

 

[Radical Canadian Goose]

The Rock to Jericho "While the Rock was winning WWF world titles you were in WCW wrestling some guy named Hoot and Toot Guerrera"

 

[Bookerkingston]

I have no idea how all these guys can say these things without laughing.

1. Undertaker to Stone Cold: "If you don't give me my title shot that I do so deserve, than I'm gonna stomp a....what do you call it? A mudhole, in your ass!!"

2. Kurt Angle to Cena: "Wow, I didn't think it was possible, but I think I've finally found someone in this company who's whiter than I am!"

3. Jerry Lawler to random fan in Alabama: "Hey I got a question for you. If you divorced your wife, would she still be your sister?"

4. Scott Steiner: "Gimme a fuckin microphone!!"

5. Brock Lesnar: "At Wrestlemania 20 GOLDBERRRRRG, it will be Brock Lesnar beating you senseless GOLDBERRRRGG!!!

6. I think this was after Lita left Kane or something, and Jericho told Kane something like he should just go bring a porno film home, sit down and have himself a good ol time.

7. Batista: "I know you people want John Cena to come out here and run his mouth, get you all excited and give you a bunch of false hope. So let's bring him out here, what do ya say. John Cena, come on down!!"

8. Stone Cold: "Bret Hart, you wear pink. And in my book, Pink stands for you know what!!"

9. Scott Steiner: "I went to a highly educated university, so when I come to talk to all you rednecks out here I gotta dumb myself down!!"

10. Hollywood Hogan: "I'm gonna lay the smackdown....on his crippled ass...NWO style!"

 

[TheICChampion]

Bobby Heenan always had the best lines, but this one is my favourite:

"Luna is just pacing back and forth like a caged animal, look at her."

Savage: "She looks like an animal, you're right, weasel."

JR: "You are right weasel."

Heenan: "I am right wea...knock it off."

 

[nightmare]

 

[Dirk]

Cena: "I'm a purple pinwheel, Rock, so you can go ahead and blow me."

 

[Dirk]

"We take what we want! And after we
take Lex Luger and the Giant, we want the gold,
sucka! Hulk Hogan, we coming for YOU,-"

 

[Miko]

I appreciate a heel that will go the extra yard and absolutely humiliate themselves in the name of entertainment, like The Rock and Stone Cold will happily do. Which is why I think Mr. always has to have the snarkiest last word and look like a million dollars while never getting any kind of comeuppance Triple H is absolute dogshit, and why I buy into the talk that he's a total self mark, even though I hate that expression.

Owen Hart screaming "I AM NOT A NUGGET!" or Kurt Angles repeated incidents are one liners that rank up there with the best put downs, or threats, or whatever, for this reason.

 

[nightmare]

Vader loses to Kane at Over the Edge.

Vader: Vader time is over, I'm just a big fat piece of shit!

Lawler: I think he is going to flush himself!

 

[Dirk]

Which is why I think Mr. always has to have the snarkiest last word and look like a million dollars while never getting any kind of comeuppance Triple H is absolute dogshit

This totally reminds me of this other guy who used to be on the roster, but I forgot his name now...

 

[Galvatron]

One exchange between Vince and HBK announcing during a Raw in late 95 when Bob Backlund refers to Diesel as Kevin Nash....

HBK: You hear that McMahon?
Vince: Yeah I did.
HBK: Who's Kevin Nash?
*Vince doesn't answer*

 

[therockiswwf]

HHH:
I'm bi a lot of things, but bilingual isn't one of them.

Undertaker at some PPV:
What happens when you rip the balls off of a bull?

 

[TJ Matics]

[YOUTUBE]0DQEmuH3BE0[/YOUTUBE]

"What you think I forgot where you live ??!"

 

[Wally Dangerously]

(When Bob Backlund is entering the arena)
"At 234 pounds, from Mayberry, Opie Taylor."

-Heenan

 

[Dr. Mantis Toboggan, M.D.]

Everything that was said in Dusty's "Hard Times" promo