Teenage "Love"

[HBK-aholic]

Its a 50/50 thing. Some people don't change from these events. Some people give their children up for adoption because they refuse to change in their own life, to raise a child and alter whats always been fun for them.

Therefore, they don't change what they've always done, because a child came into the picture. They get rid of the child, and continue living their exact same lives.

However, in other cases, obviously yes marriage and children change everything. Its an argument that can go either way, depending on how you wish to look at it. Becca and Yourself wish to look at it as if ending up in a relationship for someone be it for an hour or years, that it'll warp and change your life forever. Which in some cases could be true.

On the other end, Wes and Brian are arguing that they aren't changing for anyone. They remain who they are and do all the same things they love to do before entering any type of relationship. The only thing thats changed is having sex with the person, or entering into the agreement that they're no longer "single."

Personally: I agree that entering into most relationships alters and changes your life forever. However I'm not discontinuing the fact that some people simply refuse to accept change and they'll give up a child if it means living their life the same way as it was before. Therefore you can't argue that its changed anything, when to some, it doesn't.

Gosh Will I post in the bar room for a reason - to get away from the long posts like this when I don't have the time or energy to read and reply lol.

Basically, I will also never change for anyone, stop doing things I've always done etc. But you change automatically when with someone with your control, it affects your life. And it doesn't mean physically stopping/starting doing different things, but it teaches you things for a start, such as if one girlfriend broke up with you because you did something, most people would learn not to do it the next time. That in affect, has changed you and how you act.

As you said, they don't change how they act, I wouldn't either. I'd never miss rugby, or stop watching wrestling, or not do anything I enjoy, but being in a relationship changes you, whether you break up, or you stay together, your life is affected by it.

Having kids, putting them up for adoption or not, would change your life in some way, unless you were a fater and you didn't know about the child. There's no way someone could give a child up for adoption and completely forget about it. Some people feel the need to use adoption, something I agree with if the person thinks it'll give the child a better life, but I very very highly doubt people have a child, give it up for adoption, and never think about it again, or act differently regarding children or pregnancy.

 

[TheOneBigWill]

Gosh Will I post in the bar room for a reason - to get away from the long posts like this when I don't have the time or energy to read and reply lol.

Then either skip it, or don't read it. Obviously if its something you feel is important enough to read.. then you will. If not, then go to the next post.

Basically, I will also never change for anyone, stop doing things I've always done etc. But you change automatically when with someone with your control, it affects your life. And it doesn't mean physically stopping/starting doing different things, but it teaches you things for a start, such as if one girlfriend broke up with you because you did something, most people would learn not to do it the next time. That in affect, has changed you and how you act.

Or, it'll teach that person to look harder for someone who'd respect them for what they do. I understand what you're saying, in saying people's lives change one way or another. You learn, you grow.

Yes, some people would learn "Hey, so and so didn't like me doing this. Maybe I shouldn't." While others would learn "Hey, so and so didn't accept me doing this. Oh well, someone will."

As you said, they don't change how they act, I wouldn't either. I'd never miss rugby, or stop watching wrestling, or not do anything I enjoy, but being in a relationship changes you, whether you break up, or you stay together, your life is affected by it.

Which could be something of what Brian was making a statement about. People often don't "change" for anyone but themselves. Noone can force you to alter your life, but you. Its up to whether you want to make something work. Its up to whether you want to change, to make or break something work.

Having kids, putting them up for adoption or not, would change your life in some way, unless you were a fater and you didn't know about the child. There's no way someone could give a child up for adoption and completely forget about it. Some people feel the need to use adoption, something I agree with if the person thinks it'll give the child a better life, but I very very highly doubt people have a child, give it up for adoption, and never think about it again, or act differently regarding children or pregnancy.

Bullshit. Plain and simple. I know this from personal experience.

I knew a girl, who was into nothing but drugs, drinking, smoking and sex. She got pregnant, kept it from everyone, she was so skinny during her pregnancy that noone knew (including her own Family) until the day she had the child.

She gave the kid up for adoption the same day she had it. She admittedly claimed wanting nothing to do with the child, because she openly called it a mistake. She didn't give a shit about the kid, because she didn't want that responsibility.

And I'll be willing to bank that shes no more remembering or caring for that child (who weeks later died from the drugs during pregnancy) today, then she cared enough to take responsibility for her pregnancy then. So this alone proves that you don't have to be just male, to have lack of emotion toward something regarding a child.

 

[HBK-aholic]

Then either skip it, or don't read it. Obviously if its something you feel is important enough to read.. then you will. If not, then go to the next post.



Or, it'll teach that person to look harder for someone who'd respect them for what they do. I understand what you're saying, in saying people's lives change one way or another. You learn, you grow.

Yes, some people would learn "Hey, so and so didn't like me doing this. Maybe I shouldn't." While others would learn "Hey, so and so didn't accept me doing this. Oh well, someone will."



Which could be something of what Brian was making a statement about. People often don't "change" for anyone but themselves. Noone can force you to alter your life, but you. Its up to whether you want to make something work. Its up to whether you want to change, to make or break something work.



Bullshit. Plain and simple. I know this from personal experience.

I knew a girl, who was into nothing but drugs, drinking, smoking and sex. She got pregnant, kept it from everyone, she was so skinny during her pregnancy that noone knew (including her own Family) until the day she had the child.

She gave the kid up for adoption the same day she had it. She admittedly claimed wanting nothing to do with the child, because she openly called it a mistake. She didn't give a shit about the kid, because she didn't want that responsibility.

And I'll be willing to bank that shes no more remembering or caring for that child (who weeks later died from the drugs during pregnancy) today, then she cared enough to take responsibility for her pregnancy then. So this alone proves that you don't have to be just male, to have lack of emotion toward something regarding a child.

I wasn't trying to just imply it was males, I was just using that to say a woman would obviously know if she had a child, a man may not know.

I couldn't help but getting annoyed when reading that, because I really don't like people like that. Honestly, if you don't want the responsibity, fine. But to completely not care that much that in the end she practically killed the child, sickens me.

But I also don't believe it didn't affect her life in the slightest.

 

[TheOneBigWill]

I wasn't trying to just imply it was males, I was just using that to say a woman would obviously know if she had a child, a man may not know.

I couldn't help but getting annoyed when reading that, because I really don't like people like that. Honestly, if you don't want the responsibity, fine. But to completely not care that much that in the end she practically killed the child, sickens me.

But I also don't believe it didn't affect her life in the slightest.

You and I both. This subject overall upsets me, because I blame myself for it. She was a friend, and I had no idea she was pregnant. I tried my hardest to help her see the wrong in the things she did.. but overall, "I" was in the wrong because it all goes back to the fact that you can't change anyone, and you can't help anyone who doesn't wish or want to accept it.

The part that I hated the most, was she used the child's death to make people feel sorry for her. I don't honestly think she had a singular emotion toward it, but she used it to her advantage to gain what she wanted.

 

[Lil Wes]

You get married, you have kids? That isn't affecting your life? Changing you? Of course it is!

A. I don't have kids and don't expect too for another 2 years or so.

B. I'm not married.

C. Of course it isn't because it hasn't happened yet.

Oh no, according to him and Brian getting married, having children, these things don't affect or change your life whatsoever.

Or could it be not everyone gets dumped?

On the other end, Wes and Brian are arguing that they aren't changing for anyone. They remain who they are and do all the same things they love to do before entering any type of relationship. The only thing thats changed is having sex with the person, or entering into the agreement that they're no longer "single."

And seeing my girlfriend everyday, spending most of my time with her and my friends...Yeah...

However I'm not discontinuing the fact that some people simply refuse to accept change and they'll give up a child if it means living their life the same way as it was before.

Don't have a kid yet and when I do. I won't be giving it up. Will having a kid change my life? Prolly. But not a relationship.

I get their argument. It's just wrong. To say that a relationship doesn't alter your life in any shape way or form is simply illogical and well; wrong. It's like they're trying to tell me that 2 + 2 = 72. It doesn't make sense.

Well then your math is horrid. Because it hasn't. It isn't wrong. How the fuck can you tell me what's wrong or right in my life? You can't. You aren't me.

its YOU that allows yourself to be changed. And thats true. No one can force you to be anyone different, you have to do it on your own.

FACT!

 

[Mighty NorCal]

Eh I do different things for recreation when I have a GF. And even that part, is only to the extent of me not fucking multiple girls LOL. Thats the only difference, I do everything the same. It doesnt change me as a person AT ALL.

I say fuck changing for anyone, be true to yourself. Becuase yourself is the only person you can truly count on at the end of the day.

 

[Lil Wes]

See Norcal understands.

 

[Mighty NorCal]

I still hold all the same personality traits, convictions, and beliefs. I still hang with my boys, go out, watch sports play video games. If im going allow a girl to be a part of my life, she has to ADD to is, not take away from, or change it. Why change a bunch of shit for someone who u may not even be on speaking terms with next week? fuck that.

From the very outset im like "this is me. this is how I am. this is the stuff I do. If you dont like it, then dont be my GF. period."

 

[Lil Wes]

Amen brotha Norcal amen.

 

[HBK-aholic]

I don't think any of you understands what I mean. It may not change you in terms of what you do such as go to football games etc. But it obviously alters your life. Your life would be different if you weren't with/hadn't been with a certain person.

 

[Mighty NorCal]

I don't think any of you understands what I mean. It may not change you in terms of what you do such as go to football games etc. But it obviously alters your life. Your life would be different if you weren't with/hadn't been with a certain person.

nope. cant say it would, besides a lot of wasted time and money. When someone leaves, to me, its as if I never met them. But thats just how I handle that kind of shit. The only life altering I allow to happen is the possibility of wasted time and money.

 

[Lil Wes]

Erm, No it wouldn't.

 

[Downward Spiral]

Err, hypothesis time.

Teen "Love" can only work, if both parties involved know the full meaning and consequences of the word 'Love'. If their idea of it is to just go with each other for a short period of time due to lack of commitment, or just because they 'like the look of each other', then it is not "love". Teen "love" generally can never be labelled on a couple of 14 year olds 'going out' together, and is just a term 'generally' used to glorify two young people liking each other.

Teenage Love, in some instances as evidenced from the people on this thread, can work, but the majority of these cases are when the two are 16 years and older and committed to each other, and nothing else. 95% of teenage "love" cases, do not culminate into anything significant, because the two involved do not understand the concept of real 'love' (but in saying that, who does?) Therefore, being the majority, I believe that 'teenage love' is a term that should be sparingly used, if that. There are, exceptions, and I want to state that to avoid further backlash on my idea of the term.

--

That 'hypothesis' is very, very confusing. And rightfully so. It's a difficult term to explain. So someone else should do it

 

[TheOneBigWill]

I don't think any of you understands what I mean. It may not change you in terms of what you do such as go to football games etc. But it obviously alters your life. Your life would be different if you weren't with/hadn't been with a certain person.

I think what shes getting at is simply put. People, females, males, people you come into direct relations with. (ie. couple with) They create a lasting memory on you. Good or bad, you remember it, and it can effect you in some way. Good or bad, you'll remember it, it'll effect you in some manner.

NorCal has the direct ability to instantly move on the second someone leaves. Most people don't have that ability, most people who love someone that leaves them, hurt. Its hard to move on, its hard to get over it. They will, they do in time, but its hard and takes work...

However I believe thats what shes trying to say. Someone who enters your life, who suddenly becomes someone important to you, they effect you in some manner. Mentally, Physically, some way, some how.

Erm, No it wouldn't.

Yes, it would.

Tell me.. what did you say to me a while back during your "break" with your girlfriend? I won't say anything that you don't want me to, but it effected you, did it not? THAT is her changing your life, changing how you see things. Because you took the time to think about it. Which is something you normally wouldn't have done, had she not been someone important in your life to begin with.

 

[Mighty NorCal]

hahahaha

notice will said nothing to me becuase he knows im a frigid bastard.

 

[Lil Wes]

Yes, it would.

Tell me.. what did you say to me a while back during your "break" with your girlfriend? I won't say anything that you don't want me to, but it effected you, did it not? THAT is her changing your life, changing how you see things. Because you took the time to think about it. Which is something you normally wouldn't have done, had she not been someone important in your life to begin with.

That's AFTER the relationship ends. Like I said, people who get dumped over and over and over are the ones that claim "relationships change your life". It's an entirely different thing. I'd be the same Wes. Like I was. Sad/Angry? Yes but it didn't change me. I just went on about my business.

 

[Eternal Dragon]

That's AFTER the relationship ends. Like I said, people who get dumped over and over and over are the ones that claim "relationships change your life". It's an entirely different thing. I'd be the same Wes. Like I was. Sad/Angry? Yes but it didn't change me. I just went on about my business.

That's good. Sounds like you're secure about who you are and don't need someone else to define you, or "complete you" (I hate that saying). Not that I know much about relationships so I could be wrong.

Flames Out
Dragon

 

[TheOneBigWill]

That's good. Sounds like you're secure about who you are and don't need someone else to define you, or "complete you" (I hate that saying). Not that I know much about relationships so I could be wrong.

Flames Out
Dragon

I've thought people completed me before. The truth is, only you can complete yourself. I think NorCal said it best when he said at the end of the day, you're the only person you can truly depend on to be there for sure.

Even if you think someone is definately always going to be there, you can't let go of your own self-assurance.