Sexual Addiction Isn't Real

[LitasRevenge79]

By today's age, we have a very decadent society, in which people are persecuted sometimes for asking for help. But then by the same token, many will use that as an excuse for getting away with whatever they choose. I, for one, have battled depression, and believe me when I say, that I would never choose to use any of those chemicals, or other vices as an excuse. Its hard fight and never will end, I know that, and that's why its drilled into them that recovery is not easy. I feel bad that Drew's show only gives them 3 weeks, and then they have the 'option' for a recovery after the show. That will lead to the chance for relapse. Not a very good outlook. Look at the best patients they had, Shifty from 311, and then Kenicky from Grease, those guys are a wreck, you also have that Amber from the Sex Rehab, who then made it to his next Drug Rehab the following season.

But, I believe that sexual 'addiction' is a symptom for whatever else they may be battling. Because 9 out of 10 times, the person who is saying they are 'addicted' is often using another substance besides sex. Case in point, that season of Celebrity Rehab the Sex Addicts, most of them also were addicted to pills, and alcohol. But none of that was shown until most of the patients did either interviews after the season. But my experience with people who have addictions, the hypersexualism is asymptomatic associated with the change in body chemistry. People's hormones is what comprises who they are.

Sadly, we tend to let people get away with an "I'm Sorry, I was wrong." But America loves redemption stories. Look at how many shows are there to praise people for falling down just so they can be picked back up, Intervention, Celebrity Rehab, etc. I do like Dr. Drew's thoughts and advice, but sometimes, I think he needs to not dole out so much advice. I can see why some people get ticked off at him very easily. He's like Dr. Phil, (not a board certified Dr.) and giving out advice left and right to anyone, it would really piss off someone if they gave an 'official' opinion, and then it was used against a celebrity at some point in their life. I think that for me, what has helped with my personal battles is to seek what works for me. Not listening to some tv doctor who's sidekick is a comedian, and would get a kick out of sarcastically chastising people in between trying to help them. Say what you want, but it all adds up to a personal internal battle. Everything is a mess inside, and the person needs help, and whatever the battle, let's just hope that they find whatever works for them.

 

[Mighty NorCal]

You can get addicted to anything that alters your brain chemistry

This, right here. Im not so sure if people are addicted to the physical act of sex itself, or everything that alters hormone and brain chemical levels surrounding it. For me personally, I know there is absolutely NOTHING like the rush, and "nothing else is happening in the world right now besides this" feeling you get when having sex with someone for the first 3 or so times. Nothing like it, especially for anyone who is a naturally intense, passionate person. I cant say I am addicted to it per se, but when things dont work out with a girl, I always find solace in that I will once again be feeling the hormone and brain chemical change in the near future.

I suppose if I (or anyone who is "addicted") meet someone they care for so deeply that EVERY time gives that chemical alteration, then that is when they are finally harnessed. Easier spoken of than accomplished, though.

 

[The Big Gunnzbowski]

There is not a way you can become addicted to sex.

It's an excuse to get themselves out of whatever trouble they were in.

For the people with low self-esteem. Obviously there is something there, psychologically, BUT in no way, shape or form should it be classified as an addiction.

People who have this "addiction" are weak minded, they don't have any self-control and unlike a REAL addiction, it IS YOUR FAULT. Yours and ONLY yours.

It's ridiculous that people say they have sexual addictions when all they are is horny bastards who should keep there damn dick in their pants and/or kept her legs CLOSED.

I find it irritating when people who have little to no self control call themselves addicted and try to write off their actions as an addiction. At no point do they have the right to.

I haven't read anything on here that was this ignorant in a VERY long time... but I suppose it was bound to happen sooner or later. Let me tear this down, piece by piece...

There is not a way you can become addicted to sex.

And this is fact...how? Because YOU don't think so? If that is your basis, it has already failed to prove any point on this subject you may try and make...

It's an excuse to get themselves out of whatever trouble they were in.

Speaking from experience or something you read somewhere? You can't classify every case as such and you sure as hell can't speak for everybody out there claiming to be suffering from this "addiction". To think that you can, is, again... ignorant.

For the people with low self-esteem. Obviously there is something there, psychologically, BUT in no way, shape or form should it be classified as an addiction.

Way to tear down someone with a genuine problem. I'm assuming here, that you don't have an actual degree in the area of study of which you're so openly criticizing? Just because something may not sound like it could be a problem for someone, doesn't mean it ISN'T!

It's ridiculous that people say they have sexual addictions when all they are is horny bastards who should keep there damn dick in their pants and/or kept her legs CLOSED.

God forbid they have actual addictions... I mean, Lets look at the definition:
ADDICTION
–noun
The state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming

I went ahead and highlighted the part you seem to overlook to prove your point.

I find it irritating when people who have little to no self control call themselves addicted and try to write off their actions as an addiction. At no point do they have the right to.

Lets look at the Medical Dictionary's definition of Addiction:
-Noun
Habitual psychological and physiological dependence on a substance or practice beyond one's voluntary control

I'm sure by now you've figured out what I'm getting at as far as what you can do with your "holier than thou" point and crude diagnosis.

People are addicted to some strange, crazy, and repulsive shit out there, so by no means is sexual addiction any different. In it's most basic explanation, sex releases euphoric chemicals into the brain... Not so different from the feelings a heroin addict may feel when he shoots up. Have YOU ever had an orgasm? I'm assuming that your answer would be no to my next question, if only out of spite... but are you telling me that you wouldn't wanna feel that feeling whenever you wanted? So, to an addict, they would do whatever they had to do to feel it, would they not? I find your logic totally broken... try again!

 

[Minnesota Connection]

So in other words, you misconstrued my opinion as fact.

I'm sorry, I thought we posted our thoughts and opinions here.

Its ok though, you like defending perverts and take a point in looking into the ole' e-dictionary. Seems like such a waste of time.

What is ignorant, is the fact, if people can't get sex off their minds.. Go to a shrink. If it still isn't off their mind, they need to be taken off the street- They at that time become a danger to society.

If you can't get sex out of your mind, whats to stop you from looking at underage children? See where im going?

People who have this "addiction" are weak minded, they don't have any self-control and unlike a REAL addiction, it IS YOUR FAULT. Yours and ONLY yours.

If you can't keep your legs closed, you deserve ALL of the consequences.

It's ridiculous people don't look passed the "modern" explanation and go back to a simpler time... One of logic.

Close your F'n legs.

That is all.

 

[The Big Gunnzbowski]

What is ignorant, is the fact, if people can't get sex off their minds.. Go to a shrink. If it still isn't off their mind, they need to be taken off the street- They at that time become a danger to society.

What is ignorant, is the fact that, again, you're outright saying that people with this problem need to be treated like criminals.

If you can't get sex out of your mind, whats to stop you from looking at underage children? See where im going?

What's IGNORANT, is the fact that you're saying that anybody with a sex addiction is a fucking pedophile. That someone with a sex addiction is automatically a "pervert". Where does this so called "logic" of yours breed? What kind of one track minded, ultra-simplistic reality are you trying to convey here? Life isn't so simple, that you can categorize everything so simply, push it all into an "It's all like this" box, and ignore it. If you're not willing to take the time to research such a complex topic on which you have such strong "opinions", don't bother posting anything. Let's be honest... You can't be so opinionated on something you know nothing about. To think so? THAT'S ignorant. But then again, that's just MY opinion.

 

[Richard]

So wait, just because some people aren't addicted to something, that automatically means an addiction of it doesn't exist?

Of course sex addiction is real, people go to rehab for it but it's one of those things where you will get the people who aren't really addicts who use it as an excuse for cheating in relationships on their boyfriend/girlfriends or husbands/wives so people have to be careful in dealing with people who say they have it.

I wouldn't say I'm addicted to it, it is a really good feeling, having sex, but I'm not addicted to it. At the moment, my new girlfriend wants to wait a little while before taking anything further which I'm sort of ok with, but I'm not gonna lie to her and tell her I don't want to have sex at the moment, I really want to but I'm not addicted to it and gonna force anything.

NorCal is spot on with his point about having sex with someone new the first few times is absolutely amazing and even better if that feeling stays around. Obviously I make out with my girlfriend and that awesome 'spark' feeling has stayed around this far so I'm hoping it's the same with sex when she's ready.

Sexual addiction doesn't make anyone a pervert or a bad person. Sexual addiction isn't going to change your sexual preferences (or make you a pedophile), it's just going to increase how much you think about sex with your current preferences. If you prefer fat blonde chicks, you will think about it more. If you think about skinny brunettes, you will think about that more.

 

[HBK-aholic]

Those who think Tiger Woods is addicted to sex are so gullible it's funny. Sex addiction is being used more and more as an excuse for cheating so that is seems acceptable. "Oh well he's ill, he can't help it!" Does ANYONE seriously believe him with that? He basically spent some time away from his wife, had girls throw themselves at him and thought he was too good to get caught so went ahead and had sex. Wanting sex isn't sex addiction, because if it was 99% of people on this forum would be suffering from it.

As to whether sex addiction is real...sure, to an extent, though certainly not how it's being portrayed by these 'celebrities'. I don't have all that much patience for things like drug addicts, after all, most of them decided themselves to start taking the drug in the first place, so they won't be getting my sympathy. With the possibility of sex addiction, it's slightly different. Are people not expected to ever have sex in case they become 'addicted'? I see the issues there. However, I think the 'they can't help it' mindset isn't entirely realistic with those who go out and have all this sex with whoever they can. There are addicts of many different things who manage to stay away from the substance and get help...I think that's possible with most people if they don't want to have an addiction anymore.

For those arguing serial rapists are sex addicts, I'm not convinced on that argument. A huge majority of those attacks are less about the sex and more about having the control over someone they deem powerless - which is why some who are abused as children grow up to be abusers themselves. More needs to be understood about sex addiction, that much is true, but it's unlikely to be accepted by the majority of the public whilst people are using it as an excuse to cheat on their partners.

 

[TheOneBigWill]

Those who think Tiger Woods is addicted to sex are so gullible it's funny. Sex addiction is being used more and more as an excuse for cheating so that is seems acceptable.

Sorry Becca, I disagree with this one part. More so just the way you worded it. Whether it's being used as an excuse, or a real issue, regardless it isn't acceptable in any fashion. I mean, no one says people with drug addiction are "acceptable", do they? Same with being an alcoholic. Just because you admit to having a problem, does not mean it's acceptable. All it means is you've taken a step in understanding you have it.

Now, as far as the specific Tiger issue - I can agree that he may be using sex as an addiction for some type of media cover, so it can look more "clean" (if that's possible) than coming out and simply saying "I cheated on my Wife because I could." However, regardless how he comes out and expresses the situation - he's still seen as in the wrong for it.
-----------------------------

As for sex being an addiction, yes, it is. I've seen some random posts about people saying stuff with sex feeling good and having a great sensation the first couple of times you're with someone new. The fact is though, some people have a genuine problem in which they are constantly thinking about sex to the point that it's disrupting their lives. And it gets worse the longer they go without sex, from what I understand.

I've heard of people getting shakey; and to the point that they're offending people because they're staring intently at them, all because they're imaging something sexual with/about them. If you go through life each day, and can't think of anything other than sex - then it's likely you have a problem, and it could be considered an addiction.

Now, before someone comes in and acts naive about this claiming that they think of sex everyday - there is a difference in what I'm saying between just seeing a pretty lady/nice looking guy, and thinking something sexual. There is a difference between being with a loved one and thinking of sexual things, or seeing something provocative that causes a reaction/arousal.. and constantly having sex, or sexual thoughts, on your mind throughout the day to the point that you can't even FOCUS on a daily living. For some people, this is the case - and for them, it's no different of an addiction than someone who's a drug addict looking for a fix - or an alcoholic looking for a drink.

 

[Richard]

For those arguing serial rapists are sex addicts, I'm not convinced on that argument. A huge majority of those attacks are less about the sex and more about having the control over someone they deem powerless - which is why some who are abused as children grow up to be abusers themselves. More needs to be understood about sex addiction, that much is true, but it's unlikely to be accepted by the majority of the public whilst people are using it as an excuse to cheat on their partners.

I have to disagree with this right here.

Rape is always about sex. There are so many other ways that someone can have power over someone else. Bashings, kidnappings, emotional control, supplying an addict with their addiction, etc etc.

But they dont do those things why? Because they want to get their dick wet with that person so bad and they don't give a shit what happens for some strange reason.

Rape is a combination of opportunity and lust and it together is called temptation. Most people who can control temptation(which most of us can) live as happy citizens and those who do not run the risk. it is true for any temptation(including rape).

I think I got into this once with you, quite a while ago.

 

[HBK-aholic]

I have to disagree with this right here.

Rape is always about sex. There are so many other ways that someone can have power over someone else. Bashings, kidnappings, emotional control, supplying an addict with their addiction, etc etc.

But they dont do those things why? Because they want to get their dick wet with that person so bad and they don't give a shit what happens for some strange reason.

All those things DO happen. People DO kidnap others, DO beat them, DO control them emotionally..rape is just another part of that altogether. Do you seriously believe rape brings a sexual pleasure anywhere near what a consensual sexual encounter does? The pleasure is in the control. An unwilling victim isn't going to be moving their body in order to give you pleasure, they're likely to be fighting, or not moving at all.

Rape is a combination of opportunity and lust and it together is called temptation. Most people who can control temptation(which most of us can) live as happy citizens and those who do not run the risk. it is true for any temptation(including rape).

I think I got into this once with you, quite a while ago.

It's not sexual addiction that causes rape in most cases, at all. It's the need to control someone, for power over them. If it were simply about sex, they can go out, get drunk, and have one night stands, they can pay a prostitute, have a few different partners so their needs can always be fulfilled..

 

[Richard]

All those things DO happen. People DO kidnap others, DO beat them, DO control them emotionally..rape is just another part of that altogether. Do you seriously believe rape brings a sexual pleasure anywhere near what a consensual sexual encounter does? The pleasure is in the control. An unwilling victim isn't going to be moving their body in order to give you pleasure, they're likely to be fighting, or not moving at all.

I know, those things do happen all the time because the people who do those things are doing so not for sex, but for other reasons. People rape people because they let their lust, sexuality, hornyness and everything overtake their common sense and rational thinking and just generally don't care.

Lol I'm not going to go on about the different levels of pleasure of sex with consensual compared to rape, because I've only had consensual where as would you actually know the difference between pleasure from raping someone and consensual sex from your experiences of raping someone? I'm going to assume you've never raped anyone so that's a moot point.

There are people out their with rape fetishes too, so for them, it actually would be a lot more sexually stimulating than simply asking their girlfriend to spread it.

That's not what I even started it about either. My point is that rape is first and foremost, a sexually motivated crime.

It's not sexual addiction that causes rape in most cases, at all. It's the need to control someone, for power over them. If it were simply about sex, they can go out, get drunk, and have one night stands, they can pay a prostitute, have a few different partners so their needs can always be fulfilled..

It's the need to fulfill the rapists sexual desires that fuels the motivation to go and rape someone. Before I mentioned temptation, this is coming into play again. If I didn't have my girlfriend and I was waking down the street at 2 am and saw a hot, absolutely stunning, mind blowingly sexy girl and nobody was around, even though I would want to have crazy hot sweaty sex with her, I have the ability to just keep walking and not even think twice about turning around and dragging her into a side street. Where as a normal, non rapist could do those things, but a rapist wouldn't, he would just rape someone eventually if he had the opportunity.

A rapist doesn't have that ability to just walk past every opportunity, they struggle with their sexual desires and will eventually act out their sexual fantasies. It's ALL about sex first and foremost before anything.

 

[LSN80]

I have to disagree with this right here.

Rape is always about sex. There are so many other ways that someone can have power over someone else. Bashings, kidnappings, emotional control, supplying an addict with their addiction, etc etc.

I have to disagree here myself. Someone who thinks that rape is about sex is ignoring all of the studies done and conducted with rapists themselves. Ask yourself this? When someone rapes another, why did they choose them? Why not just go have sex with the town ****e, or a prostitute and not pay up later(or pay)? Why didn't they choose to use their hand? All can be just as much a good time, correct? Yet they pick their victims for a specfic reason, and its to assert power and control over them. The bashings and the kidnapping are more examples of demonstrating control, not of fulfilling a sexual addiction of some kind. The phrase "because she said no" is relevant here, and why most men rape.

The fact is, over 70% of rape is between people who know each other. And why do these men rape? Because their power as a man in the relationship/friendship has been threatened. In order to get back said power, the man rapes the woman. The only real time rape is about sex is when its date rape, and thats done within the small minority of teenagers who commit rape(teenage rape is less then 10%). Rapists first and foremost are seeking power, and the sexual act is secondaary to the power aand control they have over their victims. There are thousands of studies on the Internet, and elsewhere, from experts that show just that.

But they dont do those things why? Because they want to get their dick wet with that person so bad and they don't give a shit what happens for some strange reason. Rape is a combination of opportunity and lust and it together is called temptation. Most people who can control temptation(which most of us can) live as happy citizens and those who do not run the risk. it is true for any temptation(including rape).

Rape is a combination of seizing power and control away from the victim. Again, lust has nothing to do with it. The idea that they can't resist temptation isn't why they rape, it's because they can't get enough of the resistance from someone else. Some rapists are charming, good looking, affluent men. They could go to the bar and have their choice of people. They could pay for sex in a heartbeat. Yet they often chose the one that said no, the one that "got away." Why? Because that person was a threat to their very power as a man, their manhood if you will. When it crosses the line into rape, it completely stops being about sex, and becomes about power. The belief that "if I can't have you noone will" creeps in, and they proceed to have their way with them. Rape is the ulter form of power, control, and debasement of the woman. So many rapists are meticulous planners who don't even "get off" in the act. Why? Because any sexual pleasure is secondary to asserting control over the woman. Why are they so meticulous in planning? Again, power and control. They want to pick the who, what when, where, and how, with their victim having no say. How is that anything but utilizing power and control. Its the ultimate show of "manhood" to them, and the ultimate debasement and show of superiority over the woman. Believe what you like about it, but there are leading experts in the psychological community who have done studies with rapists themselves and have discovered that rape is a power issue, not a sexual one.

 

[HBK-aholic]

I know, those things do happen all the time because the people who do those things are doing so not for sex, but for other reasons. People rape people because they let their lust, sexuality, hornyness and everything overtake their common sense and rational thinking and just generally don't care.

Yet most studies agree it was about control. Rape is the most powerful form, the biggest form, of controlling someone. As I've said before, if it were simply about sex, there are many, many ways of getting that without resorting to something that turns you into a monster, that could land you in prison for life. There will likely be the odd person who raped for the reasons you said, but the fact you believe every rape is about simply wanting sex and having a sexual addiction is just hilarious and an easy thing to negate. What you need to win this argument is a statement from EVERY rapist ever saying 'I raped her because I thought she was hot' whereas all I need is one rapist to disagree with you, and you automatically lose.

Lol I'm not going to go on about the different levels of pleasure of sex with consensual compared to rape, because I've only had consensual where as would you actually know the difference between pleasure from raping someone and consensual sex from your experiences of raping someone? I'm going to assume you've never raped anyone so that's a moot point.

Ah so you're going to go in this direction. Okay, think of it differently...sex with a partner who's trying to make you feel good, such as I'm sure it is with your girlfriend, or sex with a girl who lays there and does nothing at all to enhance your pleasure. If you're going to tell me you think the latter would be more fun, I may die of laughter.

There are people out their with rape fetishes too, so for them, it actually would be a lot more sexually stimulating than simply asking their girlfriend to spread it.

What exactly IS a rape fetish to you? I've never come across a man use 'having a rape fetish' as a reason for actually raping someone. When a man has a 'rape fetish' what he actually wants is simply to have complete control over someone...often a partner. I mean, if control isn't a huge part of rape, what is a rape fetish? People 'play out' rape fetishes. But if rape is simply a sexually motivated crime what's the difference to that man between sex and rape?

It's the need to fulfill the rapists sexual desires that fuels the motivation to go and rape someone. Before I mentioned temptation, this is coming into play again. If I didn't have my girlfriend and I was waking down the street at 2 am and saw a hot, absolutely stunning, mind blowingly sexy girl and nobody was around, even though I would want to have crazy hot sweaty sex with her, I have the ability to just keep walking and not even think twice about turning around and dragging her into a side street. Where as a normal, non rapist could do those things, but a rapist wouldn't, he would just rape someone eventually if he had the opportunity.

A rapist doesn't have that ability to just walk past every opportunity, they struggle with their sexual desires and will eventually act out their sexual fantasies. It's ALL about sex first and foremost before anything.

Rapists don't 'struggle' with anything, or any desires. They have no idea what the meaning of the word struggle is.

What makes you, who could walk away from the situation, different to said rapist, who would attack her? You're both seeing the same very attractive woman in the middle of the night with no one around. The difference between you is you have morals, and know rape is wrong. The rapist doesn't CARE that it's wrong, all he cares about is getting what he wants, regardless of the situation. Of not allowing her to say no. I mean, if he wanted to sleep with her, he could go up to her, talk to her, maybe get her to try and go home with him. 1. The fact he doesn't do that shows that this isn't all about sex, and 2. If he does do that and she says no, this becomes an attack on his manhood - she's taken control away from him and there are some masculine people who still believe those women don't have the right to control anything he does. Those people are the same who rape her just to show he can have what he wants, that she has no say over what he gets.

 

[Richard]

Yet most studies agree it was about control. Rape is the most powerful form, the biggest form, of controlling someone. As I've said before, if it were simply about sex, there are many, many ways of getting that without resorting to something that turns you into a monster, that could land you in prison for life. There will likely be the odd person who raped for the reasons you said, but the fact you believe every rape is about simply wanting sex and having a sexual addiction is just hilarious and an easy thing to negate. What you need to win this argument is a statement from EVERY rapist ever saying 'I raped her because I thought she was hot' whereas all I need is one rapist to disagree with you, and you automatically lose.

If I interviewed every single rapist, I probably could get them to say they raped her because they found them sexually attractive. Someone isn't going to rape someone they think is ugly, they are going to rape someone they are sexually attracted to. They have to be attracted to them to get turned on so they can rape the victim. Of course they will rape someone they think is hot, that's silly to assume someone would rape someone they didn't think was good looking, hot, sexy, whatever way you or anyone wants to put it. WHY? Because rape is first of all, a sexually motivated crime.

If you want to do this, then if you get a statement from every rapist saying their number 1 goal was control not pussy, then I'll make a thread in the bar room or GSD saying I was wrong and you are right but since you can't, I won't because even though I don't know any rapists, to suggest that they don't rape for sex is so ignorant, it's like saying people don't rob shops for what they take, they take shit because they want to prove they are smarter than the stores security. They don't, they take because either A. They cant afford it. (Bringing it back to rapists, they could rape because they can't afford to go to a prostitute) or B. They just dont want to pay, they just want it (Again, a rapist could rape because he doesn't want to ask a girl or pay, he has a rape fetish).

Ah so you're going to go in this direction. Okay, think of it differently...sex with a partner who's trying to make you feel good, such as I'm sure it is with your girlfriend, or sex with a girl who lays there and does nothing at all to enhance your pleasure. If you're going to tell me you think the latter would be more fun, I may die of laughter.

I'm not going to tell you the latter would be fun, because for me it wouldn't be, but for the rapist it very well could be. Obviously it would be fun for the rapist because if it wasn't, they could just go and pay for it, but they rape because for them, it would probably be the ultimate pleasure, they rape for the sexual pleasure.

What exactly IS a rape fetish to you?

Rape fetish is a fetish one could have where they take more sexual pleasure from having forced sex than consensual sex.

I've never come across a man use 'having a rape fetish' as a reason for actually raping someone. When a man has a 'rape fetish' what he actually wants is simply to have complete control over someone...often a partner. I mean, if control isn't a huge part of rape, what is a rape fetish? People 'play out' rape fetishes. But if rape is simply a sexually motivated crime what's the difference to that man between sex and rape?

I can see where you're coming from and while I agree that there is a small aspect of control in rape, it's not the reason for rape, the sexual gratification is the ultimate, undisputed main goal for raping someone, the control part of it is just a side effect of the man taking what he wants and what he wants is sex. They take sexual pleasure from the dominance, I'm not stupid, I do know that a man has to control a woman to actually rape her since it's against her will and all, but I just don't see rape as a control fueled crime.

Rapists don't 'struggle' with anything, or any desires. They have no idea what the meaning of the word struggle is.

LOL of course they struggle with desires. They struggle with their sexual desires to act out their fantasies of raping someone. Sometimes they eventually give in and just act it out.

What makes you, who could walk away from the situation, different to said rapist, who would attack her? You're both seeing the same very attractive woman in the middle of the night with no one around. The difference between you is you have morals, and know rape is wrong. The rapist doesn't CARE that it's wrong, all he cares about is getting what he wants, regardless of the situation. Of not allowing her to say no. I mean, if he wanted to sleep with her, he could go up to her, talk to her, maybe get her to try and go home with him. 1. The fact he doesn't do that shows that this isn't all about sex, and 2. If he does do that and she says no, this becomes an attack on his manhood - she's taken control away from him and there are some masculine people who still believe those women don't have the right to control anything he does. Those people are the same who rape her just to show he can have what he wants, that she has no say over what he gets.

Exactly, he wants to get off, that's all he cares about, he doesn't care about control. He cares about sex.

Or 3. He just rapes her because he doesn't care and just wants to fuck her. A rapist isn't going to care about anything. He's not going to take pleasure out of knowing wether she wants to or not, he's going to take pleasure from the actual act itself, he's going to take pleasure from having sex with the victim. He just wants to get off with the girl he wants to sleep with.

Ok, if sexual gratification isn't the main reason for a rapist raping, would you say that the main goal is to have control, above everything else, control?

 

[HBK-aholic]

If I interviewed every single rapist, I probably could get them to say they raped her because they found them sexually attractive. Someone isn't going to rape someone they think is ugly, they are going to rape someone they are sexually attracted to.

This is completely untrue. I mean, there have been examples of rape where the rapist hardly even knows what she looks like - just a woman they pulled off the street in the dark because the opportunity was there.

They have to be attracted to them to get turned on so they can rape the victim.

Not true - physical attraction isn't the only way to get a man turned on. The control factor itself can do that. Hell there are men I'm sure on this forum who have had sex with a woman they didn't find physically attractive. To act like it's impossible is completely naive.

If you want to do this, then if you get a statement from every rapist saying their number 1 goal was control not pussy, then I'll make a thread in the bar room or GSD saying I was wrong and you are right but since you can't, I won't because even though I don't know any rapists, to suggest that they don't rape for sex is so ignorant, it's like saying people don't rob shops for what they take, they take shit because they want to prove they are smarter than the stores security.

I don't need to get a statement from every rapist saying that. I'm not the one arguing EVERY attack is motivated by that one thing. In fact I've said I'm sure there will be examples where sex was their main thought. You're the one arguing EVERY rape is mostly about sex.

They don't, they take because either A. They cant afford it. (Bringing it back to rapists, they could rape because they can't afford to go to a prostitute) or B. They just dont want to pay, they just want it (Again, a rapist could rape because he doesn't want to ask a girl or pay, he has a rape fetish).

I'm not going to tell you the latter would be fun, because for me it wouldn't be, but for the rapist it very well could be. Obviously it would be fun for the rapist because if it wasn't, they could just go and pay for it, but they rape because for them, it would probably be the ultimate pleasure, they rape for the sexual pleasure.

You're missing a very important link here and it's where your argument fails. What's the difference between rape and sex? Control. Why, then, would they prefer rape to sex? Because they prefer the CONTROL involved.

Rape fetish is a fetish one could have where they take more sexual pleasure from having forced sex than consensual sex.

Again, the same as I said above. You're seeing my point without realising it, without thinking of the words in your own mind. They gain more pleasure from forcing sex - why? Because they're controlling someone completely, and THAT is where the pleasure comes from.

LOL of course they struggle with desires. They struggle with their sexual desires to act out their fantasies of raping someone. Sometimes they eventually give in and just act it out.

They struggle with nothing. Struggle implies that they think about how bad that would be for their victim. Struggle implies they don't have a choice in how they act in the end. Struggle implies they give a shit how they affect someones life. None of that is true.

Exactly, he wants to get off, that's all he cares about, he doesn't care about control. He cares about sex.

Or 3. He just rapes her because he doesn't care and just wants to fuck her. A rapist isn't going to care about anything. He's not going to take pleasure out of knowing wether she wants to or not, he's going to take pleasure from the actual act itself, he's going to take pleasure from having sex with the victim. He just wants to get off with the girl he wants to sleep with.

Ok, if sexual gratification isn't the main reason for a rapist raping, would you say that the main goal is to have control, above everything else, control?

Please, you think someone is going to risk life in prison just because they wanted sex with this 1 girl? You think every rapist thought of their victim "Damn she's fit, I need sex with her now!". Really? Rapists themselves have argued that wasn't the case.

I think there are different reasons for it. Control over someone is the ultimate goal in many cases. Rape is the act of getting to that. Using sexual addiction as an excuse for rape is pathetic. If it was simply about sex, why do many rapes also have physical violence in them even when she isn't physically fighting back? Why do they keep articles of clothing as 'trophies' of what they've done? Mark their victims? Why do they often humilate them and just leave them naked? This is no where near as black and white as you want it to be.

 

[Burnout]

If I interviewed every single rapist, I probably could get them to say they raped her because they found them sexually attractive. Someone isn't going to rape someone they think is ugly, they are going to rape someone they are sexually attracted to. They have to be attracted to them to get turned on so they can rape the victim. Of course they will rape someone they think is hot, that's silly to assume someone would rape someone they didn't think was good looking, hot, sexy, whatever way you or anyone wants to put it. WHY? Because rape is first of all, a sexually motivated crime.

Rapists don't commit rape because they find people attractive. Rape is pretty much all about the power, very little of it, if any is about sexual gratification. Rapists rather often don't reach a climax you know, meaning they have pulled out before they get near the climax of sexual pleasure. If rape was about the sex, they would make sure they have climaxed, and not ran away before they received any pleasure put of the rape. Rapists don't give a second thought on how a person looks. They'll grab someone, anyone, without a care in the world what their victim looks like. They just want to get their fix, which is not sex, but power and control.

If you want to do this, then if you get a statement from every rapist saying their number 1 goal was control not pussy, then I'll make a thread in the bar room or GSD saying I was wrong and you are right but since you can't, I won't because even though I don't know any rapists, to suggest that they don't rape for sex is so ignorant.

Rapists don't care about "pussy". Considering that many rape cases include non-human penetration. Can you tell me that when someone repeatedly jabs a stick into another person's vagina/anus, they are thinking about the "pussy". Are they getting any sexual gratification from this? I highly doubt it, so "pussy" is not the reason a rapists rapes someone, it's mostly about the power.

but they rape because for them, it would probably be the ultimate pleasure, they rape for the sexual pleasure.

Again, I refer to my point that rapists often never get near climax, therefore how are they raping for the sexual pleasure, that's just not feasible. They get their pleasure, their excitement, from the fact that they have rendered this person defenseless, scared and most of all, powerless. The rapists thrives on the dominance he shows onto a victim, and that is what he keeps doing it for. Also, the point I brought up about non-human penetration of vagina/anus, here is in no way a rapists get's pleasure from this, he is just dominating his victim, hurting them, and he gets his fix off the power they have from doing such things.

Exactly, he wants to get off, that's all he cares about, he doesn't care about control. He cares about sex.

There are many ways for someone to get off many times, without even contemplating rape. Tiger Woods is not a rapist, yet he had sex alot because he wanted it alot. In this day and age, there are many people out there that would be regarded as, "easy targets", or "loose", so sex is really not that hard to find, in fact, most of the time, if you want to have sex, you can go to a bar or nightclub, and find someone to get off with rather easily, so why would a person feel the need to harm someone, damage them forever, destroy their sexual organs and in some cases, kill them. None of that screams sexual gratification to me anyway, that is a person (rapists can be female too) who gets the ultimate satisfaction from overpowering, dominating, humiliating and controlling their victim. Lust is just not important in the majority of cases. Maybe in a small few cases, it's for the sex, but really, if a person wants plenty of sex, just for the feeling of sexual pleasure, they don't have to attack a person, abuse them and so-on. That clearly shows Rape is mostly about the power.

 

[RockFan89]

Just came across this video in my subscription list on YouTube and figured I'd post it in this thread. It's only about 3 and half minutes but it's, what I gather to be, an expert giving his opinion.

[YOUTUBE]0fPt-TSozDs&feature=feedu[/YOUTUBE]​

 

[xStraightedgesoldierX]

it's not a real disorder and really cnt be unless your spending all your money paying of a hooker everynight of the week...and i dont see people doing that so i just think its not a disorder and it seems kind of silly to me that ppl call celebs sex addicts cause they can get "pussy" and they do...women love sex just as much as men(sum cases) and do it just as often but arent labeled sex addicts..its like walking into an AA meeting and calling everyone non addicts when they clearly are