Sexual Addiction Isn't Real

[CH David]

For most of the people diagnosed.

Do you really think that Tiger Woods is a sex addict? Cheating on your wife and having sex that severely hinders your ability to go through a day are two different things. Tiger was going to events, not canceling (that I know of) tournaments because of his sexual activities away from his wife.

I've had talks with one of my good friends who is going to school to be a sex psychologist and she agrees that probably 80% of people if not more that are labeled sex addicts are inaccurately diagnosed. A lot of people could go the Dr. Drew Pinsky route and say that he is an expert on the subject of sex and what not. I enjoy listening to Dr. Drew, but what you must remember about Dr. Drew is that he is an addiction to medicine specialist, not a sex psychologist, so don't give him too much credit about diagnosing sexual addiction.

Even now in the year 2011 sex is still considered a taboo subject. People don't want to admit how sexual we are as a society when it is right in front of them. If we are going to label everyone that lets sexual activity get in the way of every little thing, then about 75% of teenage boys need to be labeled sex addicts because they would rather choose to jerk off than do homework.

Don't get me wrong, there are still people that can be labeled sex addicts when it truly affects their lives to the point that they can't function throughout the day without sex or jerking off. However, we can't call every person who wants to have sex everyday a sex addict. It simply isn't so.

Why are we so quick to label people as addicts? Am I mistaken on the subject? Let's hear what you've got to say.

 

[#hamler]

I can't bring myself to believe that Sex Addiction is a real medical disorder people are diagnosed with. To me, It seems more of an excuse people will go to extrodinary legnths to prove that they are indeed a Sex Addict. I would lable 'sex addiction' as a habbit that has gotten way out of one's control. The motivation of sex could be due to the advances in technology and being able to click a button to access thousands of pages of porn. People have tons of sex basically because the opportunity is there, but when caught, there only defense is claiming Sex Addiction.

Really, I believe 'we' lable people as sex addicts because we are too embarrassed by society as a whole. For example Tiger Woods. Woods is one of the major heros our country has (had). We lable people like that as sex addicts to cushion the fall. Notice how we usually lable celeberties as sex addicts and we never really hear about other people having sex addiciton. Sex cannot be an addiction. One could have sex everyday without negatively effecting their lives or their loved ones.

 

[LSN80]

As someone who works in the mental health field and has done so for awhile, I think that addiction has to be to something externally related, such as with alcohol or drugs. The DSM/4(The Diagnositc and Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders) refuses to acknowledge sexual addiction as a disorder, rather labeling it as a compulsary behavior. I tend to agree.

Turn on the television or peruse the worldwide web, it is not hard to find examples of cheating husbands. There are famous celebrity examples all over the place and if we carefully think hard enough about it, we can probably all come up with someone we know in real life who has experienced cheating. One very common phenomenon that we see today is the celebrity husband showing remorse in a press conference and then announcing going for sex addiction treatment. In fact, it’s almost like a total guarantee – a husband gets caught and then soon after they will beg for forgiveness from within the walls of a sex treatment facility.

Perhaps, and I say perhaps, sex addiction is very real, but does it not seem a bit coincidental? A single man who has lots of intimate partners can engage in any activity that he wants but you will never see such a man go for sex therapy. But once that man in question gets hitched and he gets caught cheating, all of a sudden he is now a sex addict? Why does addiction only come into play when marriage and revealed cheating are in the equation? Whether or not sex addiction is for real, and for many therapists and medical experts it certainly is(and my colleagues and I disagree vehemonently on this, and I won't treat someone who claims to be a "sex addict"), maybe it is time for men to stop using it as crutch to rely on when they get caught doing something they shouldn’t be doing in the first place. Honestly, I see sexual addiction as a cop-out for a behavior one knows is wrong, yet chooses to endulge in anyway.

In the case of drug and alcohol addiction, there are very real side effects to NOT using those things that one's body develops over time. If one suddenly stops drinking or using Vicodin after long-term use, they struggle through withdrawal symptoms and agonizing struggles within their body and mental instability. There is no denying that some people have a prediliction for such addictions, and even the person presciption Painkillers following surgery and cannot get off them is well documented. There is no doubt that these addictions are very real, and to simply blame them on "choice" alone is foolish.

I believe the opposite is true with sexual addiction. It's a convenient way for a person who cannot keep it in their pants to attempt to crawl out from under their CHOSEN behavior and get a sense of "support" rather than condemnation from society in the process. It's the "im sorry I got caught" disorder, rather than the "I feel genuine remorse and need help because I can't control myself" disorder. No, I dont believe that sexual addiction exists, or is a disorder , it's poor choice and subsequent decision making, nothing more. I'll go as far as to say that it's not real for ALL people who are "diagnosed", it's merely a cop out for poor behavior.

 

[Coco]

Why are we so quick to label people as addicts?

Because there's money to be made from putting people into groups, telling them they're wrong, giving them pills to solve their problems, and shipping them into therapy. Really, big fucking dump-trucks filled with cash. That's the glib truth of it all.

Am I mistaken on the subject?

Yes and no. No in that I don't disagree with the notion of people being assessed incorrectly (But that's a general view of mine, not one which relates necessarily to sex addiction). Yes in that I think the title you chose for this thread is an awful one. The notion that sex addiction isn't a real thing or is a way to escape blame simplifies something people don't understand or appreciate. People don't appreciate that sex can be used as a crutch and exposure to it in frequent maladaptive manners can lead to the brain secreting the same stress-relieving, habit-forming chemicals that drugs produce in people addicted to them. There are some people who do get so addicted to sex that they can't think about anything else during the day and they can't socialize or engage with the world properly. That said, these are private issues so I can appreciate why most people hear nothing about it and write it off as BS. Still, your friend sounds like kind of a bitch. Someone who's in training to be a psychologist should be more open minded. I should know.

A single man who has lots of intimate partners can engage in any activity that he wants but you will never see such a man go for sex therapy. But once that man in question gets hitched and he gets caught cheating, all of a sudden he is now a sex addict? Why does addiction only come into play when marriage and revealed cheating are in the equation?

Yeah, it's weird how something is a problem in one social context but not another. Must mean it's a bunch of BS.

Puh-lease. My predilections towards certain recreational drugs goes over well with a group of close friends but not my parents or employer. Context is everything. I'm surprised someone who's experienced almost three decades of life can't wrap their head around that.

As for the DSM, it's subject to change as appreciation of mental processes becomes greater, it's absurdly finite guidelines are a joke, and it means a grand total of nothing to a lot of people who know their cookies. You can take it and shove it where the sun doesn't shine, sir. It's classification of sex addiction as anything means zip. Your glib refusal to acknowledge the part that brain chemistry plays in sex addiction also means zip.

This thread makes me physically ill.

 

[Ultra Awesome]

I'ma pull a bit away from LSN and Hamler and say that Sex Addiction is more like something that is misinterpreted rather than an 'excuse.' Of course, many will use it as an 'excuse' but that’s a different story. Anything in life can become addicting after a good amount of over-exposure. However, there are times where this 'addiction' becomes so out of control that it becomes a mental disorder.

But in any case, in today's world, you have people exaggerating about everything all the time. Bullying is one of the biggest exaggerations you'll ever see. Bullying has been around since like forever and yet, it's up til now that the people are shitting their pants, shoving cameras in kids' faces, and simply being annoying. Another fine example would be when it comes to the referencing of Nazi's. Every single time one does something that even remotely resembles Hitler and his German army, people will jump at the chance at calling them Nazis. Are they really Nazis? Of course not. People just exaggerate about everything.

When it comes to Sexual Addiction, the same exaggeration applies if not more so. People will mindlessly label a person who is constantly indulged with sex as a 'Sex Addict' even though he just likes to watch a lot of porn. Does me *********ing once a day while I enjoy a nice porn video automatically make me a 'Sex Addict'? - No, of course not. The reason that this misconception occurs is because people are so quick to label those that are even remotely outside of the social norm to be something that is affiliated with a mental illness.

When a person acts or does something that is just a tiny bit different than that of the average person, they will be viewed as if they have some kind of problem. It doesn't really mean that they have a problem, it just means that they're being labeled a certain way.

However, this is for those that are constantly misinterpreting things. When it comes to Sex Addiction – as in when you have a person that is always thinking of the next possible way to have sex even though it is getting in the way of their daily activities – when you have these types of situations – that’s when Sex Addiction occurs. That's when you know said person has a mental illness and is in need of help.

 

[LSN80]

Puh-lease. My predilections towards certain recreational drugs goes over well with a group of close friends but not my parents or employer. Context is everything. I'm surprised someone who's experienced almost three decades of life can't wrap their head around that.

I can wrap my head around it, it's just based upon faulty logic. As someone who actually IS a psychologist, one's choice to engage in behaviors doesn't automatically make it a disorder. My choice to act like a jerk may go over well and be considered funny in some circles, but it wouldn't with my employer and my family. That doesn't make it a disorder, it makes it poor decision making. Hiding behind the idea that it's addiction is a cop-out. Someone whose "in training" to be a psychologist should be able to recognize that. Apparenly not.

Because there's money to be made from putting people into groups, telling them they're wrong, giving them pills to solve their problems, and shipping them into therapy. Really, big fucking dump-trucks filled with cash. That's the glib truth of it all.

You do realize that most people with addictions never see the inside of a treatment facility? Most of them are sent to non-profit, twelve step programs. MOST of them, because these facilities certainly exist, and do make alot of money off of people's addictions, real or not. But most people, especially in the case of "sexual addiction" will never see the inside of a treatment facility. There's a gaping hole in your logic here.

As for the DSM, it's subject to change as appreciation of mental processes becomes greater, it's absurdly finite guidelines are a joke, and it means a grand total of nothing to a lot of people who know their cookies. You can take it and shove it where the sun doesn't shine, sir. It's classification of sex addiction as anything means zip.

It means alot more than youre opinion as the leaders of the people in the field you desire to practice in see it as such. It's actually written by people who do know their cookies. Finite guidelines? Hardly. It's apparent that you've never read ANY part of it as it's defining of classifications for mental disorders allows for "anyone who displays 5 of these 12 characteristics" may have this disorder. That's hardly finite, as you so claim. I suppose a manual whose purpose is for defining mental disorders should just allow for any disorder to be interpreted by any pedestrian who so chooses, right? Get your facts straight before you start spouting off about things you obviously know very little to nothing about.

Your glib refusal to acknowledge the part that brain chemistry plays in sex addiction also means zip.

As for being glib, I was far more informative here than you even attempted to be. You chose to engage in insults rather than provide any logic behind your thinking. No surprise there. We all have the capability to become sexual addicts, based on our "brain chemistry", I suppose. We all desire to orgasm, engage in sexual pleasure, and have sex. That's part of our inately wired brain chemistry. Just because some people choose to over-indulge in said natural ideals doesn't mean their brain chemistry is affecting this. It means they're making poor choices.

This thread makes me physically ill.

I feel the same way every time you post and insult people rather than backing up your opinion without using logic.

 

[Coco]

Since you refuse to accept the reality of the situation, I think it's time to regale you with the case study of a man known only as "Koko." Koko was just like any other boy in that he was fascinated with the human body. More specifically, Koko loved his penis. He loved making his penis feel good. Sometimes when Koko was having a bad time, or he didn't want to do his homework, or his parents were arguing, Koko played with himself and that made him feel better. Eventually, Koko discovered female companionship. The warm, cozy confines of the female vagina excited him very much and made the sound of his mother and father arguing go silent like never before. Koko found that sex made him feel like a man, like one of the guys. He wasn't some outcast with a broken home. He was a pimp! Koko began to use sex as a crutch when things began to grate on him. Once again, he felt like a man.

Fast forward. Koko is all grown up and leaving his parents' house. Koko still enjoys female companionship, but something isn't the same. Female companionship doesn't comfort Koko like it used to. It doesn't quell the stresses of the world like it did once upon a time, it doesn't take him to those highest of mountain tops. Sure, Koko always reaches orgasm with his female partners. But something is different. In an effort to achieve that high which orgasm used to give him, Koko escalates: More sex. Sex until he gets what he wants. But still he feels empty. Fast forwards to a doctor visit. Koko has a skin condition which is aggravated by sexual activity. Koko needs to calm his sexual activity down or else. But he can't. He needs to find that happy place. Soon, as Koko tries to stop, he is compelled. He drags himself, beyond his control, by the scruff of the neck, into sexual intercourse. His partners are put off by this, so he grabs them by the scruff of the neck more often than not and forces outside Koko make both people engage in sexual activity. Afterwards, Koko apologizes, cries, and laments the state of things. He feels truly awful. Alone. Who can he turn to? Koko doesn't want sex, but something inside him does and if it doesn't get it, it feels hopeless and deprived. Eventually, Koko starts spending more and more time on preparation for sex, growing distant from everything around him that he used to hold sacred. Koko misses his grandmother's funeral when he gets sidetracked participating in an ever-escalating "hunt" ritual where he uses a long perfected spiel to coax women into sex. The monster in him relishes and takes pride in this activity. However, the real Koko loathes himself while his mastery of this activity excites the beast. But post-orgasm, realizing his sex addiction has, despite his best efforts not to let it, stopped him from sending his grandmother off in style, Koko cries out in agony. He is an addict and he hates what sex has done to him. And still he can't stop. He binges. He hunts at his workplace, a chocolate factory, and an airport restroom. Finally, dragged kicking and screaming into a holding cell, Koko realizes he's reached rock bottom. But not before forcing prison sex on one of the other occupants of his cage. This is not ordinary sexual energy. This is something more. Something deviant.

The truth: Koko is actually I, Coco. To anyone who would dare say sex addiction isn't a real thing, I disagree. I despise what sex has done to me, but I can't stop having it. Woe is me.

 

[CH David]

I think it's funny that Coco decided to skip the very first sentence of my post, in which I said "For most of the people diagnosed". It was a clear continuance of what the thread title said.

You see Coco, I do understand that some people can use it as a crutch, and it actually affects their lives like drugs or alcohol. However, when the general diagnosis that I'll hear about for celebrities or if I hear Dr. Drew on Loveline say that a caller is a sexual addict (for liking sex a lot) I call bullshit. Maybe if the story leaks that they actually need to lean on it to get through a tough time or to "make the pain go away" then I would agree, they are sex addicts. But my point is that not everyone who enjoys sex on a regular basis (if not a few times a day) they are generally not addicts.

Also, why does my friend sound like a bitch? Because she wouldn't say that someone is a sex addict if they aren't? She would diagnose it if she came across it, but she wouldn't be so quick to label anyone as a sex addict without getting the whole story.

 

[Coco]

Oh, I took into account the first sentence and definitely mentioned it. I do agree that false diagnosis is a problem. Where I take issue with what you said is in using a handful of sexy media examples and the word of a friend to possibly grossly over-estimate the number of false-diagnoses taking place. I absolutely believe that it's a problem, but more than 80% wrong? There are always going to be those sexy examples in the media of people taking the coward's way out, but I think that fails to capture the size of the issue to the point where we should be throwing numbers out there.

 

[Burnout]

I personally don't see sexual addiction as a real thing, except for some cases. It's plain and simple, people like sex, and they are going to have ALOT of it during their life, and nothing is going to stop them, including allegations that their addicted. I think Hamler is right, it's used as an excuse in some cases, and I believe it's to hide the fact they may be having sex daily and because of this, they may feel ashamed or disgusted of what they do in fear that society looks down on their actions, so they cop out, and try to get some pity, and claim their an addict.

I believe an addiction to be something that needs to be stopped, as a person is taking some bad choices and will most definitely harm their health. For example let’s take an alcoholic. An alcoholic is addicted to alcohol, and is damaging there life because of it. They are told to stop, by friends and family. They need their addiction to be stopped, whereas I don’t believe someone is going to be told to stop having sex, its just in a person's nature, it most likely won’t kill you, barring diseases you might contract.

There are some cases where sex ruins a person’s life, but it's only labeled an addiction after a person may realize their actions. Maybe sex can ruin a life, make a person lose their family or whatnot, but in my eyes, I just don’t view it as a proper addiction, it’s more of a usually harmless liking of it.

 

[ABMorales787]

So... serial rapists? Yeah. They like... go door to door. Yeah, forcing women into sex. Why? I can't see any other reason other than because they can't control their urge to... unload. What? Your gonna tell me they do it for the thrill of the crime? Or because they have a political stance on women? Sex addiction is real. Just not correctly defined. That's already been said here. That also kinda answers the question laid out here.

When a guy can't control the urge to drink, he's an alcoholic. When a guy can't control the urge to do drugs, he's a drug addict. When a guy can't be away from World Of Warcraft for 5 minutes without freaking out, he's a WoW addict. When a guy can't even look at a woman, because the first thing he'll stare at are her boobs and gets an erection just like that and is already having sexual fantasies... well, you're not a sex addict, yet. But you do have social issues. I guess you can say the same for guys who can't be committed to marriage and run off at the first sight of a prettier woman. Or is that just the fact they suck at morality? Or they just cave under pressure? Regardless, that particular case is certainly not being a sex addict. If Tiger Woods were a sex addict he would try sticking his penis in every hole he comes close to. And that's a lot of holes he goes by.

 

[Sparky]

So... serial rapists? Yeah. They like... go door to door. Yeah, forcing women into sex. Why? I can't see any other reason other than because they can't control their urge to... unload. What? Your gonna tell me they do it for the thrill of the crime? Or because they have a political stance on women? Sex addiction is real. Just not correctly defined. That's already been said here. That also kinda answers the question laid out here.

Fucking A, Sexual addiction is real, People that are addicted to it turn into monsters, people that can't control it well enough end up being Serial rapists. All the sick fucks that end up rapeing their Sister? Most likely would have a sexual addiction. As gross as it sounds, They actually need to do it.

You know how a Sex addiction ocours? when you get it all the time but then it fades out. Woods, has a kid and he was married so obviously the sex died down drastically, and look at the guy, He had one of two options, Wank or sleep with one of the thousand of girls that was practically throwing themselves at him. The temptation got the better of him, I belaive he does have a Sexual addiction.

 

[LSN80]

So... serial rapists? Yeah. They like... go door to door. Yeah, forcing women into sex. Why? I can't see any other reason other than because they can't control their urge to... unload. What? Your gonna tell me they do it for the thrill of the crime? Or because they have a political stance on women? Sex addiction is real. Just not correctly defined. That's already been said here. That also kinda answers the question laid out here.

Sorry, I disagree. Rape in any form, serial or otherwise, is not actually about sex. It is about POWER over someone else. Rapists get their "high" from debasing the victim in as bad a manner as they can imagine and in knowing the victim is "powerless." Many rapists enjoy seeing a victim cry, plead, beg, and suffer. Rapists and child molesters "get off" on the power they have over their victims, not the sexual act itself.

 

[ABMorales787]

Sorry, I disagree. Rape in any form, serial or otherwise, is not actually about sex. It is about POWER over someone else. Rapists get their "high" from debasing the victim in as bad a manner as they can imagine and in knowing the victim is "powerless." Many rapists enjoy seeing a victim cry, plead, beg, and suffer. Rapists and child molesters "get off" on the power they have over their victims, not the sexual act itself.

So the sexual act is... Pointless? Sorry. I don't see it. If it were that they take their victims and just torture them, then yes. But why force them to have sex then, if what they enjoy is overpowering them?

"I must have her." That line comes to mind when I think of sexual addiction. Because the man feels like he must engage in sexual activities with her and will be driven to do anything to do it. It's an urge he can't control. Therefor he has an addiction to that.

 

[Burnout]

So... serial rapists? Yeah. They like... go door to door. Yeah, forcing women into sex. Why? I can't see any other reason other than because they can't control their urge to... unload. What? Your gonna tell me they do it for the thrill of the crime? Or because they have a political stance on women? Sex addiction is real. Just not correctly defined. That's already been said here. That also kinda answers the question laid out here.

I don't think using a rapist fits in here. Rapists are sick people who don't lust on sex, considering, well maybe it's different in America, Rapists largely do not penetrate a women with his manhood, choosing to use various objects in hope to hurt his victim, and killing a person is usually a goal of theirs. So yes, rapists indeed do it for the thrill of the crime, and for the rush they get in seeing their victim in pain, or even dead, and I really don't believe they do it because they can't get enough sex. They get there fix on being in command, and satistics show, from rape crisis centres around Ireland, than in most cases of rape, the rapist, if using his own sex organs, pulls out before sensation is reached, so clearly, Rapists don't do it becasue there addicted to sex.

But as for the rest of your post, your right I must say, the thinking behind your view is right, so I'll admit Sexual addiction is real, but as you say, undefined.

 

[LSN80]

So the sexual act is... Pointless? Sorry. I don't see it. If it were that they take their victims and just torture them, then yes. But why force them to have sex then, if what they enjoy is overpowering them?

"I must have her." That line comes to mind when I think of sexual addiction. Because the man feels like he must engage in sexual activities with her and will be driven to do anything to do it. It's an urge he can't control. Therefor he has an addiction to that.

Because not only is it about power, its about debasement. It's about making the woman feeling dirty, worthless, and undesirable. Have you ever talked to a rape victim? I have. They feel dirty and like they have no amount of self-worth. Those are the goals that rapists are after. To achieve that ultimate feeling of power, they have to bring out certain feelings in a woman. And what's the BEST way they can do it? Rape.

When I think of the line "I must have her", I think of obsession, not of addiction. Looking, Im not suggesting here that the rapist doesn't have serious mental issues, but it's the desire for power, not the "addiction" to sex they have. They're deviants, but they're not addicts. Rape would fall under the classification of an obsessive like disorder, not an addictive one. Many rape victims know their rapists. About 70%, to be exact. Some of them are ex-boyfriends, or men they've spurned. The term "if I can't have her, noone can" comes to mind. I think of one thing when I think of that statement, and that's power and control, not addiction. So in the ultimate act of regaining lost power, they rape them. Do they have deep seeded mental issues? Yes. Are they addicts? No.

 

[Xemmy]

I agree. The term "Sexual Addiction" just applies to people who can't manage it. Sex is in our nature. We crave it. And if we can get it, we take it. If it were possible to fuck every day with a partner you desire, you would unless you had some moral or principal that told you it was wrong. It can be controlled with relative ease. It's not like drugs.

No one HAS to have it. There's no physical need for it. No one has ever gotten "Sex Withdrawl".

 

[Sparky]

. It can be controlled with relative ease.

It's not like drugs. The funny part is, you're saying it can be controlled? But how would you know if you haven't had to have sex or at least *********e at least once a day?

No one HAS to have it.

Lulz, coming from somebody that knows, There are times where you have to have it, It's all you can think about doing until you actually do it. Everything becomes about sex, You find yourself disappearing to the toilet with a magazine or the laptop if you can't actually get sex Just to get it off of your mind.

There's no physical need for it. No one has ever gotten "Sex Withdrawl".

So you have never hear the expression blue balls? It might not be the proper term but the shit is real, but no, that can't possibly be a withdrawl now can it? Shit gets nasty after a while. Imagine getting it whenever you don't "relieve" yourself so many times a week. Ontop of Sex being the only thing on your fucking mind.

 

[Xemmy]

It's not like drugs. The funny part is, you're saying it can be controlled?

It's a human urge. We like to fuck. Doesn't mean we need to every day. That's why it can be controlled. People on withdaw get sick if they don't get more into there system. That's what dependance is.

But how would you know if you haven't had to have sex or at least *********e at least once a day?

Masterbation and Sex aren't the same thing. We masterbate to release so we DON'T have to have it. I there are plenty of people that go quite awhile without doing it. I know a guy that claims to only do it once a month or so. (I don't really believe him, but you don't have to do it every day is my point)

Lulz, coming from somebody that knows, There are times where you have to have it, It's all you can think about doing until you actually do it. Everything becomes about sex, You find yourself disappearing to the toilet with a magazine or the laptop if you can't actually get sex Just to get it off of your mind.

Um, I'm sorry if that's your daily routine, but that happens because you're thinking about it. Then you keep thinking about it, and focus on it. You can think about other things with relative ease.

So you have never hear the expression blue balls? It might not be the proper term but the shit is real, but no, that can't possibly be a withdrawl now can it? Shit gets nasty after a while. Imagine getting it whenever you don't "relieve" yourself so many times a week. Ontop of Sex being the only thing on your fucking mind.

Epididymal hypertension isn't something that's been properly researched.
And once again, sex and masterbation aren't the same thing. You can go without sex your entire life. Getting off is what people need. And even then, some people don't seem to need it. The point is it's a physical craving that is easily managable one way or another and this "addiction" is purely psychological. It's the same as people who are "addicted" to weed.

 

[Sparky]

Disregard the rep, Obviously WZ lied it said you left...

It's a human urge. We like to fuck. Doesn't mean we need to every day. That's why it can be controlled. People on withdaw get sick if they don't get more into there system. That's what dependance is.

Well going through withdrawals does actually make me sick, Maybe not physically but mentally.

Masterbation and Sex aren't the same thing. We masterbate to release so we DON'T have to have it.

in the long run, the same outcome happens right? It;s the actual Ejaculating that is needed.

but you don't have to do it every day is my point)

Again, You don't know what it's like so you can't really say anything here. Just like a non drug user can't say anything about a drug user, because you have no idea what they're going through.

Um, I'm sorry if that's your daily routine, but that happens because you're thinking about it.

So wait, You know me now? That's bullshit, I don't have to think about it, The slightest thing sets me off, It could be anything.

Then you keep thinking about it,

Wrong

and focus on it.

Wrong again, I try everythign in my power to avoid it. I go for a walk, I do the dishes, and nothing can get my mind off it.

You can think about other things with relative ease.

And you can climb mount everest in half an hour. but enough with saying shit that we don't know about each other ok?

Epididymal hypertension isn't something that's been properly researched.

What do you mean properly researched? It's obvious that it comes from not Ejaculating. But then again, It's something you probably know nothing about.

"addiction" is purely psychological.

Gee really? that's it. The people that have A sexual addiction, Is suffering from a mental condition, but You're right, they don't mean the same thing now do they?

 

[Xemmy]

Disregard the rep, Obviously WZ lied it said you left...Well going through withdrawals does actually make me sick, Maybe not physically but mentally.

I did leave briefly. So you're saying you go crazy when they don't get off?

in the long run, the same outcome happens right? It;s the actual Ejaculating that is needed. Again, You don't know what it's like so you can't really say anything here. Just like a non drug user can't say anything about a drug user, because you have no idea what they're going through.

Yeah it is the same outcome, but it's a different action that leads the outcome, and since we're not talking about orgasm addiction...then. See what I'm gettting at? And maybe I don't know what feels like, but I can comment about what a drug user goes through. But I can comment on what someone sexually active goes through.

So wait, You know me now? That's bullshit, I don't have to think about it, The slightest thing sets me off, It could be anything.Wrong Wrong again, I try everythign in my power to avoid it. I go for a walk, I do the dishes, and nothing can get my mind off it. And you can climb mount everest in half an hour. but enough with saying shit that we don't know about each other ok?

I apologize. You said it in a way that made me think you were talking about yourself. I'm sorry I misunderstood. Maybe my level of control is just better than others, who knows- but once again. I'm trying to seperate the actions. Sex and Masterbation are two different acts that lead to the same goal. The "addiction" is based on the action, not the end. And it's not hard to think about other things. The problem you're describing sounds like something that occurs during puberty. In adulthood when inability to focus relates to sex in the manner you're speaking(climbing down from Everest), it's usually a form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

What do you mean properly researched? It's obvious that it comes from not Ejaculating. But then again, It's something you probably know nothing about.
Gee really? that's it. The people that have A sexual addiction, Is suffering from a mental condition, but You're right, they don't mean the same thing now do they?

We've all heard of blue balls, but it isn't something that has a lot of scientific backing.

The qualification isn't just getting off- it's actual sex. We don't actually need sex.

On top of that, a person must be using a psychoactive substance and experience feelings of tolerance and withdrawal in order to be considered a victim of addiction. Hell, it's not even in the DSM. "Blue Balls" doesn't cover that.

Also, could you clarify your last couple of sentences. I couldn't understand what you were trying to say.

This argument is silly.

 

[Cena's Little Helper]

It's not the act per se that people are addicted to but the neurochemicals that are released as a result of sex. I'm not an expert on this subject but I'd hazard to guess that sex/*********ion is a coping mechanism for people that have some type of serotonin/norepinephrine/dopamine deficiency. Maybe there are other ways to cope with such a problem, but if you have an intimate partner or a palm at hand, I think we all know what will the least resistant path is.

 

[Tastycles]

I wrote this last night, but I got sidetracked and deleted it. Apologies if this isn't as good as it might be. Yeah, 90% of the time rape is about violence, not sex, bad example there boys. Anyway, if you don't think sexual addiction is real, you're wrong, basically.

Practically everyone with an addiction does so to repair some sort of self esteem issues. These could be either deep rooted abuse as a child kind of issues or seemingly more shallow issues, which are never the less equally important in character definition. Again, there is a lot of people who have had sex to boost their own self esteem. It doesn't take the greatest inductive leap to figure out what that makes possible.

I'm sure a lot of people hide behind pseudo-psychologist self-diagnoses when actually they just like to put it about a bit, but by the same token, why do they do that? If someone "just liked taking heroin" a lot, but they weren't addicted, would you consider that to be a healthy state of mind? No, would you bollocks. Just because sex doesn't kill you, it doesn't mean that it's particularly good to be having it all the time. If you can't see that sex alters your mind frame, you've either never had it or you're a robot.

I think fundamentally there's a social ignorance here. It's easy to dissociate alcohol with alcoholism, but because too much sex doesn't directly harm you, people can't do the same with sex and sexual addiction, so they do what people always do with mental illnesses they don't understand and deny it even exists. You can get addicted to anything that alters your brain chemistry - fighting for example, but not, say, cleaning as it won't change you hormonally, and sex falls into that category. If some guy is having sex with a different woman every night of the week and loving it, that's not sex addiction, just like it wouldn't be alcoholism if he went out on the piss every night but turned up to work on time. However, if a guy goes out and has sex all the time, and is filled with regret immediately after the deed is done, often shirking responsibility to have sex, then I don't see how anyone can see that as being any less mentally healthy than a guy drinking vodka every day and not turning up to work.

Do I think some people claim to have sex addiction when they don't? Yes, but that's no different to alcoholism and certainly not depression.

 

[Jack-Hammer]

The United States is a country that, for all intents and purposes, was founded by prudes. The Pilgrims were about as string and uptight as it can get, even during their time. For centuries, one generation after another has had religious & morgal dogma, especially in matters of sex, hammered into them. It's been so effective and done to such a degree that it's become a societal norm for people to be ashamed of sex. Even today, in 2011, if you're someone that drinks a dozen beers a day or snorts a couple of lines of coke a day; you're thought of as an addict. If you're someone that has a chemical imbalance in your mind or whatever that pushes you irresistibly to have sex 4 or 5 times a day no matter what, you're thought of as a pervert.

I agree that sexual addiction is probably overly diagnosed to a huge degree. It happens to be the trendy mental disorder at this particular time. Every major and well known mental disorder has gone through periods of extreme over diagnosis. It's happened with depression, Bipolar Disorder, mutliple personalities, schizophrenia and so on and so forth.

I just believe that Tiger Woods is just an extremely horny bastard that got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Someone suffering from sexual addiction is someone that literally has sex on the brain 24/7. I find it hard to believe that Tiger Woods could have accomplished so much in golf as a sex addict. I don't see how he would've been able to devote so much time and effort into developing the skills that's allowed him to win so much money and so many prestigious golfing championships if he was mentally and physiologically wired to have pussy on the brain all the live long day. People suffereing from sexual addiction, in most legit situations I've heard of, are filled with self loathing and are basically numb to the world. They don't do it for the sake of enjoying intimate relations, they do it just to feel something other than that self-hatred that they have. They see themselves as...well, I guess kind of useful to someone.

Sexual addiction is real however, I have no doubt about that. Like a lot of other psychological afflictions, however, it gets tossed and casually handed out as if it were, metaphorically speaking, candy.

 

[Minnesota Connection]

There is not a way you can become addicted to sex.

It's an excuse to get themselves out of whatever trouble they were in.

For the people with low self-esteem. Obviously there is something there, psychologically, BUT in no way, shape or form should it be classified as an addiction.

People who have this "addiction" are weak minded, they don't have any self-control and unlike a REAL addiction, it IS YOUR FAULT. Yours and ONLY yours.

It's ridiculous that people say they have sexual addictions when all they are is horny bastards who should keep there damn dick in their pants and/or kept her legs CLOSED.

I find it irritating when people who have little to no self control call themselves addicted and try to write off their actions as an addiction. At no point do they have the right to.