Sam's Thread of Chattin' w/ Jake & Other Robust Subjects

[Father:_Polley]

Since when have you lived in Leeds? There's a joke to be had there about you having your way with Becca. Not a good joke, but a joke nonetheless.

Since last summer

He's lived in Leeds for like years. I swear all the jokes have been made.

Just one and a half. And what are these jokes?

 

[Uncle Sam]

Is the Virgin Megastore still there? Probably not, huh?

 

[HBK-aholic]

No, it's now a pretty clothes shop

 

[Lee]

Working on a film adaptation of Hamlet over the summer. Brian Blessed is going to be in it. Livin' the dream.

I heard Brian Blessed supports the Toon

 

[Uncle Sam]

I heard he supports the Tron. That movie - pretty shit. In case anybody was wondering.

I'll be watching The Walking Dead tomorrow morning. I don't care what Coco The Monkey says. I mean, he's always right, but a weekly zombie series is something I can get behind.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

How's things Jake? have you seen Burning Bright?

Tiger in a house? Went straight to DVD here, I'll get it if I see it cheap enough.

I heard Brian Blessed supports the Toon

I'll ask him. Met him the other day actually. Nice bloke, but talks a lot.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Loudly too. I'd imagine.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

Not too bad. His beard has grey roots though, distracting. "Don't you agree, Jake?", "Wha! Ummm, yeah".

 

[Uncle Sam]

I'd just have "Gordon's alive!" repeating in my head. That's what'd distract me.

In other news, I bought a Mickey Mouse and Superman jumper from Primark. What sort of cunt wears a retro design ironically? Not me. I wear them in the utmost sincerity.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

One of those blokes who's really interesting, until you become aware that he'll never stop talking.

Seen Machete? So boring, how does Rodriguez do it!

 

[Uncle Sam]

One of those blokes who's really interesting, until you become aware that he'll never stop talking.

Oh, like my dad then.

Seen Machete? So boring, how does Rodriguez do it!

I heard it was boring. How people take these great concepts and make it boring is beyond me. You know, like the first half of Inception. Though "great concept" is overselling it a bit. "Basically The Matrix" is how I'd put it.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Jake, I want the John Cena DVD. It's 3 discs, but I'm still unsure if it has any matches on it.

 

[Lee]

In other news, I bought a Mickey Mouse and Superman jumper from Primark. What sort of cunt wears a retro design ironically? Not me. I wear them in the utmost sincerity.

I have the mickey mouse one

 

[Uncle Sam]

I have the mickey mouse one

Which one? I have two. One of him playing guitar, another reading "Mickey Mouse Original" or some such.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

There's a new Cena one coming out that's full of matches. My Way, I think that's it's name, has about 5 matches. All good. But that's one disc, the other discs have a documentary and the third has three hours of John Cena talking about cars. Cars, Sam, cars.

 

[Uncle Sam]

The Pixar film or the machines? I don't really give a fuck about either. Yeah, don't think I'll be bothering with that.

In other news, it's snowing. I'll have to go out in it soon. Just for the sheer fun of it. And I was gonna get some pasta from Sainsbury's.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

Snow makes me stand in dog shit. Hate the stuff.

 

[Uncle Sam]

The cat was meowing to go out. Who cares if the snow is deep enough to absorb him whole? His choice.

I proved to myself that I wasn't entirely emotionless. My brother's friend has a story - as to why he was depressed - that was so sad that I was reduced to tears.

I was also set on an arranged marriage with a 14-year-old girl that I previously fell in love with. Two years and I'm cashing in like The Miz.

Booze - it's better than CM Punk knows. Someone should tell him.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Seriously. With the briefcase and the music and everything.

 

[HBK-aholic]

In other news, I bought a Mickey Mouse and Superman jumper from Primark. What sort of cunt wears a retro design ironically? Not me. I wear them in the utmost sincerity.

<3

 

[Uncle Sam]

Jake, get this - Jay Lethal apparently still has the Black Machismo gimmick.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

Really? I heard he turned into Ric Flair. Wait, Jay Lethal? It's amazing that you forget these people exist.

 

[Uncle Sam]

I already forgot Christian exists, honestly. Remember him?

Has Kevin Smith made a good movie since Clerks? I haven't seen many, granted, and the first act of Zack and Miri Make a Porno was actually really good.

I went down the road to get the new issue of Empire. It hadn't been delivered yet. Can you imagine!? I'll try again today.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

Christian? Oh yes, most excellent in the new Smackdown vs. Raw game.

Empire are very slack with the delivery these days.

Chasing Amy is alright, probably his best film. But Kevin Smith is shit. It's surprising how many discussions I have had about him at uni. Got accused of showing off because I wrote something on Kubrick. Fucking Kubrick, he's less obscure than Kevin Smith. *****.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Kubrick obscure? Wankers. Should just play it safe and write about Quentin Tarantino for everything.