RP Feedback Thread

[TheOneBigWill]

Alex/G.M.: I apologize for skipping you. I didn't think I did, but apparently I must have. I just reread your RP to get a better feel for what I'd say.

After reading it, and trying to take in that you're no longer a Rey Mysterio-ish figure, I have to reform my visual aspect for you. That much is still hard for me to do, because I'm unsure what I'm picturing.

However, physical aside.. your RP was once again on par. Not as great as I've seen you, but it was a very good RP. You described your opponent very well, and I loved the way you threw in slaps to his character with the "fishy friends" bit. You also did well to acknowledge the type of match you're competing for, being the "King For A Day" match. Very good.

Everest: The first thing I'm going to do is agree with you that its extremely difficult to find a backdrop for your RPs, especially for someone like you who's been doing this far longer than I have. I still have a couple selective ideas stashed away for a big match setting. But its very frustrating none the less.

Now, regarding your RP I loved that you went back to the ol' stomping ground (so to speak) and it was very solid based on where your character is going. Almost a starting over point, ie. returning to the place it all began. Your RP set the standard for exactly where you're going in the up-coming shows. Very good indeed, keep it up.

 

[TheOneBigWill]

Milenko: Your RPs are getting better and better, keep up the hard work. I've been a fan of the storyline between you and Bowen for a while. I'm excited to see how you and Bowen work in RPs, so I really hope her RPs soon.

You're doing very well to not give away the background to you & Bowen. The only question I have, is are you & Bowen wanting to give the background away through RPs, or through the shows in promo segments? Get with each other, and when you both come to a decision, get with me about it and we'll work something out with the rest of creative.

 

[Murfish]

Murf!sh: I'm not trying to be negative, and I fully apologize for any forth-coming offense I may cause. The first thing I wanna address is I'm pretty sure W.Z.C.W.'s version of Bobby Heanan wouldn't talk the way you had him talk.

Second, your character is almost all over the place and I had a hard time focusing on what to see you as. Somehow I came up with a version of Spike Dudley from E.C.W., in Batista's body, with a Festus gimmick of being a part time druggie/part time loose cannon.

I liked the split personality gimmick, we can roll with that.. but you might want to tighten everything up and redefine exactly who you are.

Don't worry about hurting my feelings, I'd rather know what is going wrong and how I can improve than be blissfully ignorant.

Sorry about the misuse of Johnny. I didn't see anyone else that I could use for a interview segment.

I don't know about the Spike Dudley thing (I'm not too familiar with ecw). Murfish is in Batista's body and he's kinda like Festus but a lot less ******ed when (i.e. he is not completely spaced when he is calm and he's not stupidly wild when he's in the ring). I am sticking with the split personality gimmick. The drug theme was probably a one time thing that was used to generate a funny environment. But this is only my second RP here so it's perfectly understandable to be unsure about my gimmick.

Everest: That was great. I especially love the detail you put into the scenery and the emotion in your RP.

 

[Hyorinmaru]

Milenko: Your RPs are getting better and better, keep up the hard work. I've been a fan of the storyline between you and Bowen for a while. I'm excited to see how you and Bowen work in RPs, so I really hope her RPs soon.

You're doing very well to not give away the background to you & Bowen. The only question I have, is are you & Bowen wanting to give the background away through RPs, or through the shows in promo segments? Get with each other, and when you both come to a decision, get with me about it and we'll work something out with the rest of creative.

Once it comes out one way or the other my RPs ar going to get 100% better. I don't have much to work with so I hinted at it. I think we should come out with all of it in the show.

 

[Deexter Jorgan]

My second RP is up, its a continuation of the first, Im leading into something big letting people understand more about Maxx and about his situation let me know what you all think

 

[Father:_Polley]

Ok, I thought i'd get a second RP done, but I've sort of had a crazy day with finishing off my university exams, a dental appointment, and then out with friends to watch football. So I guess I'll just save it up for the next match.

DJ, you're RPs are crazy - I love them!

 

[Deexter Jorgan]

Thanks Polly i appreciate all the feedback, Im changing my style a little and bringing more depth to my character, I hope everyone enjoys the more story based rps, i want to bring something more different to the fed

 

[Derf]

I just posted a 2nd RP to help further my charecter. And it was partially improved, but in the best way. Since my charecter is based off myself, I actually recorded a convo with myself cutting an impromtu promo. And yes, my mother actually called me.

 

[Reaper]

RP of the week: Derf

Derf RP was descriptive, had good length, it was funny, and it really developed his character. I agree that the camera should be used as your means of cutting your promos. I see great things coming from you.

Honorable Mention: Everest

I am seeing something that slightly troubles me when it comes to the RP's being put out lately. Now I would like to preface what I am about to say with this: You don't need to write a 3 page Rp, but length does matter.

The content that is there is good. However, more detail needs to be added to most of the RPs. By detail I mean what does the place look like, what kind of mood is your CAW in, or what is your CAW wearing (only need to say if it's something different then what u put in app.). Those little things go a long way.

EDIT: One last thing...IF THE CROWD DOESN'T KNOW YOU...THEY WON'T POP. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP HAVING THE FANS POP FOR YOU BEFORE YOU HAVE BEEN ESTABLISHED AS A FACE OR A HEEL THAT THE FANS WOULD ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT!

 

[Derf]

RP of the week: Derf

Derf RP was descriptive, had good length, it was funny, and it really developed his character. I agree that the camera should be used as your means of cutting your promos. I see great things coming from you.

EDIT: One last thing...IF THE CROWD DOESN'T KNOW YOU...THEY WON'T POP. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP HAVING THE FANS POP FOR YOU BEFORE YOU HAVE BEEN ESTABLISHED AS A FACE OR A HEEL THAT THE FANS WOULD ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT!

First off, having that much of a complement from someone in Dynasty, this is Awesome. My greatest compliment yet. BTW, which of the two RPs are you talking about?

And also, in my first RP, I made it clear (I think) that the pops I got were from a few sections of the crowd, that I assumed knew me from the Canadian Independent Scene. I knew my newb charecter wouldn't get a huge pop for being a newb, but a small pop from some people that watch wrestling, other than the Bigtimes.

 

[Deexter Jorgan]

RP of the week: Derf

Derf RP was descriptive, had good length, it was funny, and it really developed his character. I agree that the camera should be used as your means of cutting your promos. I see great things coming from you.

Honorable Mention: Everest

I am seeing something that slightly troubles me when it comes to the RP's being put out lately. Now I would like to preface what I am about to say with this: You don't need to write a 3 page Rp, but length does matter.

The content that is there is good. However, more detail needs to be added to most of the RPs. By detail I mean what does the place look like, what kind of mood is your CAW in, or what is your CAW wearing (only need to say if it's something different then what u put in app.). Those little things go a long way.

EDIT: One last thing...IF THE CROWD DOESN'T KNOW YOU...THEY WON'T POP. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP HAVING THE FANS POP FOR YOU BEFORE YOU HAVE BEEN ESTABLISHED AS A FACE OR A HEEL THAT THE FANS WOULD ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT!

No mention from my rps reaper?

 

[Reaper]

Just finished reading Grand Mistique, Murfish, and Maxx Rps.

I like where Maxx is going as a character. I can't wait to see what happens next.

Murfish: I liked ur RP as it was unorthodox. I really like how you are developing your character.

GM: Your rp was ok but you have definitely done better.

 

[a0161613]

DJ, I have said before how much i love this story and you are doing a great job of keeping us hooked.

Milenko, a definite improvement from your LL one. I cannot wait to find out more about your story.

Reaper...loved it, loved it, loved it! I dont want to pick a winner!

Derf, that is more like it. A more refined RP and it is clear you are taking everything on board! It is great to have so many RPs from you new guys!

 

[michigan]

Reaper!

Thanks for the vote!

Great RP by the way, love the way you rolled with my RP and made the match that much more interesting. Great back and forth. Good luck Monday!

 

[TheOneBigWill]

Reaper: If anyone has the ability to make it hard to pick a winner and a loser, its you. I loved how you did a half and half, with the behind-the-scenes issues in Dynasty, then contridicting it with an interview that "everyone" sees, in saying there aren't any issues in Dynasty.

I love how you shoved your character in a single's role as well. I definately agree with this, and I hope you love where you go. Its in your hands what you do with it. And I know you'll do amazing.

Derf/2nd: Derf, I'm going to say that this was a tremendous leap in the right direction. It vastly eclipses your original, debut, RP. I still love the unique storyline you have going with the camera. Noone else is doing that (to my knowledge) and it fits your character's n00bness. Sorry, not meant as a slap.

I still greatly see him as a hyperactive little boy in a man's world though. I'm not meaning that badly, because its something that could work in a weird way. I guess I'm not quite sure how to explain it yet. Overall, it was a very good RP, and definately ahead of your first one. Great job Derf!

 

[a0161613]

Ricky, you finished yours off in brilliant style! That was really very good. I loved the way that you just turned on the Yoda guy. It was so heelish but in a fun way!

 

[a0161613]

Alex, your RP was really good. I believe you had a chance to win this match as Milenko defnitely seems to have had your number so far.

Don't worry too much about being late this time and just make sure it don't become a regular occurence!

 

[Father:_Polley]

As before I'd like some feedback on my RP. I'm not sure it's quite as good as the first one and as a result, it may get editted depending on how I feel after a re-read later.

 

[Derf]

I liked it, but I would try to make it better, as I feel my RP is going to be much better than my last one... I just need to find out where we're headed before I write mine. My idea is a good one though.

EDIT: After reading it again, I feel it reminds me WAY to much of your origional promo. I mean, same backdrop, same talking about punishment and stuff, your first one was good, this just seems like a recycled promo.

 

[Father:_Polley]

I take your point into consideration about the setting. It was first on my list of things to get changed actually. It will be altered at a later date as I start a new job tomorrow so have that to worry about right now.
As for the whole punishment aspect though, that's going to be a common theme with Vengeance, it's how he see his role in life...making people suffer for the 'wrongs' that he or rather his Master feels they have done. TO be honest, with a name like Vengeance it's hard to imagine anything other than punishment and violence involved. Besides, what heel doesn't talk about punishing their opponent.

Derf, I look forward to reading your RP. May the best man win.

 

[Father:_Polley]

In light of Derf's comments, asthetic changes have been made to the original to give the RP a slightly different feel as opposed to the gothic type feel of the last promo. It's quiite hard to give a character's backdrop a change. Guess it's something to work on. seriously though, all views will be taken into consideration and I will return the favour.

 

[michigan]

Hey BigWill I finished your RP, very nice I love the references and symbolic nature. Good Luck in your match. I'm on to others as we speak.

Take Care

Everest

 

[a0161613]

PWC,

I really like it and the only fault i could mention would be that it seemed a little cramped though it may be the font or text size?

I loved your wording, the general formatting was good and it was all round solid. I suggest you put out another but only if you can think it will be worthwhile. Quality over quantity.

Will I had to read yours twice as i was not sure about it at first. But the symbology of it all at the end drags you in. Its is unrelentlessly metaphorical but you carry it off well.

 

[Father:_Polley]

Will, the whole concept was very convincing. Somewhat unusual setting and a lot of analogy, but overall I thought it was a very interesting idea and worked well to convey both anger and a menacing feel from your character, while still keeping it light and humourous when it had to be.

 

[Father:_Polley]

DJ, a solid RP that worked to develop whatever storyline is planned for your character. My one issue is with continuity...namely how did the interview know about the Gabriel character when Maxx doesn't mention his name. Minor, but a solid RP