RP Feedback Thread
- Thread starter sincade20
- Start date
Deexter Jorgan
Has a Dark Passenger on board...
ok i will take a look now!
Deexter Jorgan
Has a Dark Passenger on board...
i made sure that it would give an explanation in regards to why maxx is leading the stable, who he is and why he hates america soo much, also shows that he is decending more and more into madness, i got another rp to do for maxx vs ricky which im gonna try and switch up the styles abit see what i can come out with lol
Deexter Jorgan
Has a Dark Passenger on board...
Ok here is my feedback for the rps done so far, i will ask all to do the same especially those higher up on the roster, to help everyone develop, i really believe that weve got some amazing talent here and it is going to be a tough decision as to who wins it IMO
Reaper: Amazing RP on behalf of your tag tea, partner, DP would be proud, its great straight to the point and shows some craps in the dynasty armor, i really loved it
Izzy: Again great rp, i really loved the destruction layed out by your boy Manzo it really shows pure dominance i really want to see where this goes next and tells the story of Manzo vs Sincade which is something that i really want to see
GM: Simple fact your rp is amazing the use of words and context shows that you have really developed, Alex in such a short time you have come really far and i am proud to be on the same fed as you, when i said you remind me of will i really meant it i could really see you as our next wzcw world champion if you keep rps like this up
Reaper: Amazing RP on behalf of your tag tea, partner, DP would be proud, its great straight to the point and shows some craps in the dynasty armor, i really loved it
Izzy: Again great rp, i really loved the destruction layed out by your boy Manzo it really shows pure dominance i really want to see where this goes next and tells the story of Manzo vs Sincade which is something that i really want to see
GM: Simple fact your rp is amazing the use of words and context shows that you have really developed, Alex in such a short time you have come really far and i am proud to be on the same fed as you, when i said you remind me of will i really meant it i could really see you as our next wzcw world champion if you keep rps like this up
DJ
thanks for the feedback.
i hope noone takes this in a cocky way but i knew it was special when i was writing it. I defnitely got the feeling that it was above everything i have put out so far.
Fact one: i had that written not long after the lottery event was written (a couple of months back i think)
Fact two: the little voice - when i wrote it, i imagined it was my bloody girlfriend!!
Iscy,
i loved it. The intro and story of this Maximillion character that was alluded to really got me interested in the possibility of a deeper back story and a stable that Manzo can fight with or against.
Reaper,
DP is one of the best around here.
But he will be proud of that effort.
thanks for the feedback.
i hope noone takes this in a cocky way but i knew it was special when i was writing it. I defnitely got the feeling that it was above everything i have put out so far.
Fact one: i had that written not long after the lottery event was written (a couple of months back i think)
Fact two: the little voice - when i wrote it, i imagined it was my bloody girlfriend!!
Iscy,
i loved it. The intro and story of this Maximillion character that was alluded to really got me interested in the possibility of a deeper back story and a stable that Manzo can fight with or against.
Reaper,
DP is one of the best around here.
But he will be proud of that effort.
Deexter Jorgan
Has a Dark Passenger on board...
ok Melinko dont take this the wrong way
your rp was ok, but i felt lacked alot of depth, there was soo many possibilities to what you could of done in regards to that tag match and to me it seemed rushed, you have way better rp skills then this, ive seen you pull stuff out in other feds that was ten times better
in your next rp for the lottery match all i would have to say is, think about what you want to achieve, look up a little back story on the others competing and try to work something out and give it your all, if you are not happy with what you produced then go back to the drawing board, and best of all, please dont rush it because the tag match was sub par compared to the stuff you usually write and i know that for sure
your rp was ok, but i felt lacked alot of depth, there was soo many possibilities to what you could of done in regards to that tag match and to me it seemed rushed, you have way better rp skills then this, ive seen you pull stuff out in other feds that was ten times better
in your next rp for the lottery match all i would have to say is, think about what you want to achieve, look up a little back story on the others competing and try to work something out and give it your all, if you are not happy with what you produced then go back to the drawing board, and best of all, please dont rush it because the tag match was sub par compared to the stuff you usually write and i know that for sure
Deexter Jorgan
Has a Dark Passenger on board...
I hope i do win it, we shall see me thinks what the higher ups have planned for one Called Maxx
Bentallica
Work in progress
My RP has been up for a few days now. Feedback would be appreciated.
The Enforcer
The Heel John Cena!
I could say the same about mine Ben lol
Steamboat Ricky
WZCW's Living Legend
Meh, mine was up way before you guys, and mine has barely had a whisper about it...
Deexter Jorgan
Has a Dark Passenger on board...
Ok i will give feedback where its due
Ben: Yours was emotional and gave me more about your character it enabled us to explore who ben legend is and why he is in this, its one of my faves but its not as strong as alot of others in the fed, its still solid and it really shows that you are improving
Rios: What can i say, great rp, brilliant work, but i feel everest beat you in this, he really took it to you this time around
Ricky: Fun as always, really worked for me, but i felt that the rp for the mayhem match wasnt as good as the LL, the reason being that the LL one seemed more developed and had more of that ricky charm, the mayhem one was more of a whisper compared to what you can really do
Ben: Yours was emotional and gave me more about your character it enabled us to explore who ben legend is and why he is in this, its one of my faves but its not as strong as alot of others in the fed, its still solid and it really shows that you are improving
Rios: What can i say, great rp, brilliant work, but i feel everest beat you in this, he really took it to you this time around
Ricky: Fun as always, really worked for me, but i felt that the rp for the mayhem match wasnt as good as the LL, the reason being that the LL one seemed more developed and had more of that ricky charm, the mayhem one was more of a whisper compared to what you can really do
Uncle Phatso
Mid-Card Championship Winner
Feedback for the show
Congrats gus good win congrats will,and david. You all got the w's you diserved. I got fucked over by the same dudes twice in one night. But a word to the wize. I'm going to bring my full attention to the next show and i can say cory bring your a game because i have alot of shit on my mind for this fude. And alot of shit i can pull out of my sleve.
Congrats gus good win congrats will,and david. You all got the w's you diserved. I got fucked over by the same dudes twice in one night. But a word to the wize. I'm going to bring my full attention to the next show and i can say cory bring your a game because i have alot of shit on my mind for this fude. And alot of shit i can pull out of my sleve.
Bernkastel
Reaper of Miracles
Sorry if my RP was a little unorthodox, but it looks like some people must have enjoyed it
Father:_Polley
Fun's my Chinese neighbour's name
Any feedback on my first RP would be greatly appreciated
Steamboat Ricky
WZCW's Living Legend
Polley, I loved your RP. Loved it.
It was short, which is extremely underrated in my eyes, and you involved all characters in the match. Great first RP. The ending was superb, as well. I'm interested to see how Vengeance evolves.
It was short, which is extremely underrated in my eyes, and you involved all characters in the match. Great first RP. The ending was superb, as well. I'm interested to see how Vengeance evolves.
TheOneBigWill
[This Space for Rent]
Holy crap. Polley:wanna_fricken Main Event spot. 
Great debut RP. I love the darkness of the character, and you play the role perfectly. You sure you aren't a cult leader?
The only thing I'll add, that'll make you stand out EVEN MORE.. color. Your RP was plain with no editing or formatting. The main thing I could say for you to do, is add color to when your guy is talking. Format your RP and that, with how great it was as is.. would definately make you a force.
Even without it being formatted or colorful, it was still amazing. Great job, Polley!
Great debut RP. I love the darkness of the character, and you play the role perfectly. You sure you aren't a cult leader?
The only thing I'll add, that'll make you stand out EVEN MORE.. color. Your RP was plain with no editing or formatting. The main thing I could say for you to do, is add color to when your guy is talking. Format your RP and that, with how great it was as is.. would definately make you a force.
Even without it being formatted or colorful, it was still amazing. Great job, Polley!
I'm the 3rd Member of creative to read this and I must say, I second and third their approval. Really invocative Role-Play, good imagery (Which alot of people ignore), good sentance structure and a good speed about the whole thing whilst still being deliberate and methodical. I loved it.
=I=
=I=
Father:_Polley
Fun's my Chinese neighbour's name
Well thanks for the encouragement. I'll take everything you've said on bored for number two.
And no Will, I'm not...unless you want to join...in that case we'll talk later.
And no Will, I'm not...unless you want to join...in that case we'll talk later.
TheOneBigWill
[This Space for Rent]
Okay Derf, I hope you know what this is. My best advice right now.. go back to it.
Sorry, I just couldn't leave that one untouched. Honestly, your very first Rp was raw. And the bad part is (not meaning offensively) when compared to Polley's, it looks like Polley's been doing this for years and you just threw words together.
When we talked originally, we talked about Colin Delaney. Derf, I was joking and you aren't going to be used like that.. however when I read your RP, I pictured every bit of Colin. You have the excitement of a rookie, but no direction, no edge, and almost no passion. You didn't touch base on your opponents at all, other than to say they're living in halloween 24/7.
You can RP as many times as you like during Meltdown matches, so I encourage you greatly to kick another one out if you have the time. I'll do whatever I can to help you, to make it better. And if you want my honest opinion, talk with Everest, D.C., Ricky, Isy & even David.. all of them have written very, very well and might be able to help you find that missing link.
Overall.. it wasn't a horrible RP, and I know you have the ability.. but if you leave this as-is.. I doubt you'll win on it alone.
