Right, so like I said, FEEDBACK FOR EVERYONE! Starting off with the Tag Team Title match.
The Beard
- This is sad, however, there's still an element of humour, especially with the snot. The Uncle Louie stuff is borderline disturbing, however, it works.
-Your writing has improved vastly since you started.
- I want to see a relationship between Gent & Beard. They seem close enough. And we get a bowel movement that looks like a Robot. Genius.
- This RP is so feelgood, I think it's great. And then we move into the song, which has killed me laughing.
- The poem at the end's a great touch, really well done.
- Overall, a really nice RP Theo. With Gent's, they go perfectly side by side.
Le Gentleman Masque
- This RP is different to Theo's in a way that it's down to the point about the match. I like that you're both focused on something different, yours being the match.
- But we've still got Beard Is The Word! Wouldn't be right if it wasn't in it.
- Gent's angry and well, hopefully it doesn't play on his mind too much as we go into the Title match.
- Phew, for a second I thought we'd seen the end of the mask! I'm glad that you didn't.
- Compared to the rest of the RP's in this match, these two are shorter, yet I think they're both succinct.
S.H.I.T
- I do like your RP's, always have. "Revenge is edible?" is a great quote. As much as I know Barbosa & SHIT are both coloured in blue, I'm still confusing myself.
- Hah, Cash It Dolph. Must be a great show, pretty short though?
- So far, I feel like your description is a little bit lacking. Nothing against you, there's just certain things that seem like they're missing the odd bit of description here & there.
- It's Barbosa's birthday? Congratulations, I'm enjoying this part of the story.
- The "when is your activation date" part is brilliant. This flashback scenario to when SHIT was created, to see how he's changed now really helps you to see his story.
- Great RP Miko, I like this a lot.
Barbosa
- I like the way you start off your RP by recapping SHIT's, with the party scene. I also like that where SHIT moves straight to the finish of the party, you show us everything that's happened in between.
- The psychiatrist is a nice addition to the story.
- I thought, once we got into the party/psychiatrist scenes, this was going to be very serious, but you've even managed to put the humour in when you say "This is SHIT".
- There's an underlying tone of funny going through the conversation. If you meant it, great, if not, then you've done something strange.
- Overall, if this was between Technosa & Bearded Gents, I'd pick you two. However, we will now move onto SaxoSab's RPs.
Saboteur
- I already wanna know what Fluxtonium is. Sounds cool. I cracked up at the "Blackademy" part.
- Oh, so Fluxtonium's gonna help you go back in time?
- This time travel thing is genius, I really like it. You've actually given us a story to enjoy and you've got back years to do it, which is again, brilliant.
- I think that this story is getting better and better, but wait, if you're Fakename McGillicutty, then who's Saboteur? I kid, I like the name and the fact he's fallen for it cracks me up.
- All the way up to the end, this has been a great story, absolutely brilliant. The fact it's going to carry on in Saxton's RP has me moving straight onto it.
Action Saxton
- The first part that really gets me is the "Take 57" part, because just before that, asking if he wants to be an actor or not, you'd assume he was on Take 1.
- Smith isn't having much luck now, is he? First, his acting starts to fall a bit flat, now he's afraid of robots with personality disorders. This is great writing though.
- The speech leading up to Saxton's confidence is great & Fakename really knows how to put him right, leading into some great acting.
- Coming back to the present and it's like nothing ever happened, but the emotion's there, which is why it works.
- From the two of you, some great RP's. I think you may have this one in the bag.
So, we move from the Tag Title match, onto the Lottery.
Thrash
- Awesome RP, you're gonna win it.
Dustin Hunter
- First thing I think of, what are Hunter/Blaze doing in Michigan on a sunny afternoon? Going dogging? Playing tennis? The description needs to be there!
- There's no point in arguing with Blaze if you're partners. Conversation comes over a little bit like you're Robots talking, but not like SHIT.
- Is it just me or do the two of you come across like teenagers?
- There's a story going on here, which isn't bad. It could do with some tweaking, but I'm not sure on what.
- Compared to what I've read, this is pretty short. I wouldn't call it a LL winning RP, but I would call it a match winning RP.
Sam Smith
- The Prologue is brilliant and we're only on the first of 5 parts. I'm not too sure that looking at falling into obscurity would come from losing the Lethal Lottery, but if that's what you think, it's down to you.
- Woah, that's a big part in the Revelation. Chelsea's pregnant, which means that Sam's going to become a Father. However, this does have me hooked.
- The start to Consequences is emotional, in a good way. But the ending is even more emotional, seeing Sam's father in the condition that he's in.
- It's nice to see Sam take the main role in the Epilogue, with a simple, yet very effective interview.
- Overall, this is a great RP and it puts you up as a contender to win the match.
Brent Blaze
- I feel like the way you've done this RP, with the dates and everything has been lifted from mine, but maybe you already had it planned.
- You need to make sure that you're using the correct version of words, you've used the wrong "there/they're/their" a few times and it is off putting.
- The first part of the RP that actually makes me want to read it is "The Day After Aftershock". The first two parts are a little bit, blech. I once wrote an RP for a tag match with Black Dragon, which basically took his RP and reworded it through the eyes of Scumm. Needless to say, it was shit.
- Alexis is a good character and you know how to write her well.
- WZCW House Show? I never knew we had "Local opponents" and they are sort of usually only used in squash matches. I kinda feel like you're writing it so you're fighting two members of the WZCW Roster, just nameless.
- The phone call is confusing. You're talking to someone, then you're talking to multiple people.
- The ending to the RP is good, better than the rest of it. However, I'm not too sure why you're going all the way up to the Lottery itself. It's cool. but too predictable
Grizzly Bob
- Can I say I've been looking forward to this? Dustin Hunter should take lessons in descriptive writing from you. It's absolutely brilliant.
- The first section is a mixture of some great descriptions, mixed in with some nice conversation material. The fact you've pulled off a conversation with your dog is awesome.
- I think the way that Bob looks at the Lottery is brilliant, with the little glimpses into the past, even remembering that you have allies as well as enemies.
- Like I said to Hunter, I think this is more of a match winning RP, rather than a LL RP, however, it's still a damn good RP.
Jimmy Flynn
- I'm not sure what I think of the opening interview with Klamor. Parts of it work, and parts don't. However, being doubted is a way to make sure that you have to prove yourself, so use that to your advantage.
- This is weird, the second part to your RP is awesome. The description at the start is awesome, it's like you've gone to hell to take part in an interview with the Devil's son (That's what I call Damien). The way you move from that into the part with Klamor at the end is nice and it sounds like a slight change in attitude to Flynn at the end, really wanting to make a difference.
- Keep an eye out for grammar/spelling mistakes, they're possible from anyone, but just make sure!
- A well written piece though.
Krypto
- Description, very nice. You've probably guessed I'm a sucker for it now, and yours is good.
- There's a "their" instead of "they're", but I almost didn't notice it because I'm really enjoying reading this. Krypto's this character that shouldn't work, but really does.
- The sexual side of Krypto coming out here is killing me, it's great. But he seems to like everyone.
- Oh my god, I've just started to read the gameshow part and I think you're the first person who's made me laugh more then SaboSax.
- There's a slight dip in quality when the conversation start with Missy. It starts of a bit weird, but it gradually makes more sense.
- You bring it all back down to normal when you finish and I must say, this has been a great RP. You'll certainly be making a surprise in the LL.
Constantine
- The idea of FluX is brilliant, as I've already told you.
- The fact you could go through so much of an RP without even featuring a word from Constantine, but make it so interesting is the proof of a good writer.
- I love the Constantine interview though, because I'm interested to know what his game plan is. You've done that thing where you get our attention, but stop talking before we know too much, which annoys me so much.
- It's a great RP though, really well done man, as always. Just don't do that tl;dr thing.
Sandy Deserts
- I started reading this and I thought Sandy was giving birth.
- Interesting opening to the RP, but very well written. Great conversation between Michelle & Sandy, quite emotional in a way, but not too much.
- At least there's a little joke in there, I needed something to lighten that up.
- Like I've mentioned earlier, I'm not a fan of the House Show thing. Who are you facing? Where I could see Sandy facing a local competitor rather than Blaze, it's still a bit of a strange one to me.
- However, great interview with Becky at the end, and perfectly written. Brings the whole RP to a great end, well done on that.
Rush
- I love this idea. It's something I've seen you do before, but it's still unique and works great when you RP.
- You annoy me at how good you are with descriptions and just making it feel like something I could genuinely sit and watch on a Wrestling programme. I can totally get behind sitting down, watching Raw and seeing this in a backstage promo.
- The way that you also link the religious text to your RP is a nice touch.
- It's long, but by no means does it get boring. It's absolutely brilliant and you are definitely a massive contender to win this thing.
Mason Westhoff
- Or should I say, "Brother" Mason Westhoff?
- One of your longer RP's I see

This is why I think you're one of the better RP'ers around here actually. You manage to keep them short, but to the point, meaning you win things.
- The conversation with Jacobs is nice, well written.
- Lastly, the ending is nice, but the focus on the Lottery seems to have been lost a little bit. Good RP though.
Triple X
- I was expecting an essay of an RP to read here, luckily, it's not that bad.
- The premise for this is smart, and something that I can actually sit down and, if I close my eyes, imagine quite well.
- I think the way you talk about the past, with the use of images only throughout. Also, you've only used yourself, which is great, because it's hard to pull an RP off with nobody else being in it.
- I love this RP, like mad. It's got potential to make a few waves in the match, good luck man.
Ricky Runn
- Why so short? This is kinda strange, not something I'd have expected from you!
- Strangely, it's pretty funny. In a silly way mind.
- Being so short, there's not much I can say. It's obviously not a winning RP, is that what you were planning on doing?
Alhazred
- Dude, where do you get the inspiration for your RP's from? These things are mad, but in the best way possible.
- A talking pickle. It's cool, we've got an Alien and a Robot, so a Pickle's good.
- I think we just found out that Alhazred's a virgin. That got me the most, that was hilarious.
- If there's one thing I have to say, you really know how to write. It's a great RP man, well done.