Rape and the Male Mentality

[Little Jerry Lawler]

Whenever you hear of someone getting sexually assaulted whether it be by radio, televison, newspaper, or the Internet, more often than not it is a woman getting raped by a man. However, there have been some cases of men raping men, women raping women, and women raping men. The latter I will go into discussion about because it is prevalent in today's society.

I was watching Law and Order: SVU last year and it was about a man who claimed he was raped by three of four women. He was embarrassed about the incident and didn't want to get it out into the public of fear that he will be made fun of. As males, we tend to see ourselves as the dominant sex. Most of my male friends have said if they ever got raped by a woman, they would be too embarrased to tell anybody. Males and females have different standards of how they would want to be viewed in the public eye. If you heard a guy was raped by a woman, what would be your first thought. Likely it would be that it is impossible. I was so used to thinking rape was a man doing it to a woman, it blew my mind when I heard a story about a woman raping a woman. Some have not gotten used to that yet, especially men. I just feel that in our society, men getting raped by women is an embarrassment to the male species. I'm not saying that there are different levels of rape. It's just that men sexually assaulting women is the standard and vice versa it is a anomaly.

I have three questions to ask...

1. Do you look at women raping men in a different light than men raping women?

2. How would you feel if you were raped by a woman? (Mainly speaking to the male posters)

3. With the male mentality we have, do you think police, detectives, etc view cases like this as "not worthy of their time" or dismissing it al together?

 

[One Punch Doug Crashin]

honestly that LAO episode hits the nail on the head. people still see male and female differently. if a male rapes he'd get the electric chair. if a female rapes its considered really rough sex (in my honest opinion) and is not considered worth their time. you HARDLY hear about a female raping a male. its always a male and this is a perfect example of how hypocritical our society has become.

 

[HBK-aholic]

I don't think a male being raped by a female would affect them any less than rape by men affects women. It's disgusting, no matter who does it, and I'm sure the effects of it will be the same - fear, guilt, shame, flashbacks etc. They would arguably be more ashamed, due to the fact this is statistically rare (Though I assume, more prevalent than is currently known) and men are viewed as the dominant ones.

I can't answer question 2, so I'll go on to 3. I think in the past this probably has been 'dismissed' as impossible, by some. Some people still are of the opinion that it's impossible for a woman to rape a man. However, slowly, it's getting there. It's now accepted that this is a crime, which is a start. It's taking the path male on female rape took, in that it wasn't always taken seriously, and was even legal by some people on others (Husband to wife).

 

[Little Jerry Lawler]

When I was a psychology teaching assistant last year, I remember reading some kind of theory. It had an example dealing with murders in New York City. It said that if you had to guess which was higher: Murders in New York City or murders in the state of New York, more would go with murders in the city because they heard of it more than the latter. I liken it to this situation in the sense that we hear so much about men raping women, any other situation would be viewed as a statistical error or rarity. If you turn on the TV and you hear of a woman being accused by a man, you may think to yourself that it can never happen. Sadly to say, it can. I don't know if the traumatic effects of rape would be different in a man as compared to a woman but it is possible.

 

[rgdestroyer]

If a women raped me, it would crush my ego..because I'm a man, i should be able to fight off the bitch if its needed.. A women should get the same treatment a man would if he did the same thing. It seems like they kinda to that with female rape victims, cause from what I've read that people say that it seems like women claiming rape is hardly ever believed, which is how they feel i guess and it makes them less likely to tell the police about the matter.

 

[Dragonslayer]

I think the main issues people might have with females raping males are - aside from the supposed fact that many/most males are supposed to be physically more dominant than females due to body size/weight/strength etc and should thus be able to fend off women if they try to force them into something, opposed to women as the(statistically) physically "weaker" gender, who do not so often possess the means to fight off an assault - the distinctions between males and females caused by biological functionalities.

After all, it is (supposedly) common knowledge, that the male sexual drive is geared towards distributing one's own genetical material to as many females as possible, whereas the female drive is more geared towards selecting the best choice(s) among the males available, so only the best genetic material gets to be transmitted.

Now, keeping this premise in mind, we get to the cliché that men (who "naturally" wish to have sexual relations to as many females as possible, see above) who have many sexual partners are considered "very manly", whereas women, who divert from their supposed biological direction (which should be choosing only one or very few partners, and not sexual relations to as many partners as possible as well), are often looked upon disparagingly.

Now if you spin the thread further, you get to the topic of rape: a male specimen who, in his supposedly biological drive to distribute his genetic material to as many females as possible, forces himself onto a female without her consent. Now, due to the biologically determining factors, and added to that the mostly superior physical strength of males versus females, you get to the very simple conclusion that such an act of force quite obviously must be a crime, since it violates the females' right to sexual self-determination and integrity; and such an act does that within the classically transported clichés: "Men wanting to sleep with many women, women only wanting to sleep with "a chosen few"." I think we all agree that this is indeed a crime, and a very heinous one at that.

Then, however, enter the idea of females raping males. This works against some of those traditionally transmitted ideas. One factor is physical strength, as already stated. It might be construed to either be an embarassement for a man if he is manhandled (excuse the pun) by a woman if he couldn't fight her off; or it might be construed as in truth, he did WANT to be treated in this way (since otherwise, he WOULD have fought the woman off, since that is the more likely constellation considering physical premises) - which then in turn leaves no room for "rape", but leads us to the mentioned "rough sex".

Secondly, there is also a main difference in the way the primary genitalia of males and females function, of course. After all, as a man you need your genital to be in a certain state, which usually can only be achieved by some sort of sexual arousal. So, if you ask me - if I were "assaulted" by a woman who is superior in strength to me and could manhandle me, and force herself onto me - chances are very high that it won't be of any use to her, as I most likely would not exactly be in a state of arousal, if a woman I am not interested in forced herself upon me - and thus I don't think she actually COULD rape me, if you catch my drift, no matter how badly she wanted to.

So this adds another factor, meaning that if a man does not WANT to have sexual intercourse with a specific woman, he SHOULD not be sexually aroused, and thus anyways be incapable of performing the coitus. This in turn leads to the conclusion that IF a man is getting raped by a woman, he must be in a certain state of arousal (and thus basically WANT to be raped, if you so will), which again rules out "rape" and turns it into "rough sex".
Women, due to the way their primary genitalia function on the other hand, can theoretically have sex even if not aroused, and thus I believe the act of violence in this case is perceived as more brutal and more invasive, and definitely less "willingly accepted" as in a case of female raping male.

And thirdly, coming back to the biological basics behind it all - the fact that a man is being raped by a woman could also be construed as to be "in his best interest", biologically speaking: as it enables him to do what he would try to do anyway, which is to distribute his genetic material to as many partners as possible, more or less regardless of the genetic material of the partner - as opposed to the supposed female main interest of "choosing" the sexual partners very carefully, in order to grant only the "best specimens" access to reproduction and thus secure the existence of the species.

I think that it are mainly those three factors that play into this when males being raped by females is widely not regarded as a serious offence. Of course, there are also ways of raping a man that do not necessarily involve the "classical" way of intercourse, and such intrusion into that man's sexual integrity I think could more easily and distinctly be regarded as an act of violence.

Personally, I think this is quite a serious subject and should not be taken lightly, but on the other hand, I am not quite sure myself, since as said - I don't think that even if a woman was trying to rape me, that she would succeed; not because of inferior physical strength or some such, but simply because she would most likely not find me in the necessary "state" for rape.

 

[Dave]

I have three questions to ask...

1. Do you look at women raping men in a different light than men raping women?

2. How would you feel if you were raped by a woman? (Mainly speaking to the male posters)

3. With the male mentality we have, do you think police, detectives, etc view cases like this as "not worthy of their time" or dismissing it al together?

1. Yes, I most certainly do. For me, no man should ever be out-muscled by a woman. I know it can happen and does happen but I just cannot imagine it. Call me ignorant or cold or whatever you like but I just can't. However, I know that it certainly does happen and it can be as traumatic of an experience for a man as it is is for a woman. For me, I just cannot imagine how it would work. Men are more dominant that women for sure when it comes to power and the whole point of rape is someone "forcing themselves on the other". I just don't get it.

2. I have no idea how I would feel because I hope that something that traumatic never happens to me. I know that I would be embarrassed and I know that a lot of people would never entertain the idea that I was raped by a woman. I don't want to sound like a jerk but I think it is very different if a man is raped because they generally want sex and enjoy it. I'm not saying that women don't but I don't think they do as much as men. In all honesty, I cannot really comment because it has never happened to me but I would certainly feel different if I was a woman, that's for sure.

3. I definitely think that you are onto something there. I never hear of a high-profile rape case where a man has been raped. I think it is just something in the human mind that says that the shoe should have been on the other foot to warrant their attention. Plus, most probably think that he enjoyed it. That refers back to the point I made in question 2.