Am I the only one that is tired of hearing about booking? "I would book this guy this way, I would book that guy that way." Whatever!!!! The wrestling business didn't become a multi-billion dollar industry with people who "don't have a clue" handling the booking. With the exception of one. I'm sure everyone is aware of what is said about opinions. But hey, if Glenn Gilbertti can have his published for the whole world to see then I figure it must be editorial open season. So, here's mine.
Can anyone tell me why the TNA Knockouts segments are the highest rated on the program? Besides the obvious, it's because Glenn doesn't write those segments. Have you heard some of this guys storyline and booking ideas? I mean really. The best gimmick this guy ever had was a goof in velvet bell bottoms that wouldn't have known Disco if it punched him in the mouth. Talk about low rated segments! Whew!!! Reminds me of the worst episode of Bosom Buddies.
Most of the guys here that are writing these "booking" columns start by saying, "I'm not a booker, never have been, probably never will be." Enough said right there. Shut up! You shouldn't even be writing the column. Now, I'm not going to tell anybody how to book anything beyond my Church League softball game next week. However, I am going to give you a fans view of what keeps us hanging on to every segment.
Every high rated segment is going to fall within one of the following categories. The segment is either in your face smash mouthed, high flying action packed with several close pin falls, or just down right sexy. I do include the violent and bloody matches that hold our attention in the in your face category. The Knockouts and Divas would fit into one of the categories, as would a Steve Austin promo, as would a latter match or many of the early X Division matches. A William Regal promo, however, of him sitting on a throne speaking in a very monotone voice would not. Nor would a match with a lot of headlocks or arm bars or just a lot of long "wearing down" holds.
Wrestling fans are much like hardcore roller coaster enthusiasts. We want to be taken to the edge, a lot. We want to be surprised, excited, or just plain turned on. Wrestling matches from days past were much like telling stories. I won't go into the structure of a match. Most of smarks as Disco likes to call us already know about that. But, we don't want to be told stories anymore. We want to be taken on a thrill ride. We want to ride that sadistic roller coaster every Monday, Thursday, and Friday night. Let the promo's tell the stories, let the matches thrill us.
The bottom line to what I'm saying is simple. I am much more likely to go to the kitchen for a bologna sandwich during a backstage Snitsky promo than I am during a Gail Kim, Roxxi Laveaux vs Angelina Love, Velvet Sky match. I am much more likely to channel surf while Borash is waiting out in the parking lot for Steiner to walk by and tell him how stupid he is than I am during a Hardy, Kennedy, Morrison, Jerico latter match.
In closing I want to say this. I don't who, when, how and so on you book a program. Just follow the model of keen businessman Dana White. Keep it exciting, keep it sexy, and keep it in my face. Grown men beating the hell out each other with beautiful young women walking the Octagon in bikini's. The only thing that could make it better would be having the girls fighting and Metallica playing in the background. Until next time........... C----yaaa!
