Post What Your Annoying Facebook "Friends" Have To Say About Valentine's Day!!

[The Doctor]

Doc, where'd you get that one? I knew that would find its way into this thread.

 

[Stormtrooper]

I don't have "Annoying Facebook 'Friends'". At least not ones that show up in my news feed. I have Friends that I happen to have on Facebook. I'll be glad to share Valentines Day thoughts from my those FRIENDS though.

I hate this phoney holiday! It's just an excuse to spend a ton of money on something that if your lucky enough to have someone special to share it with you should probably just express the emotion on a regular basis and not just annually. And if your a looser like some of us it's just a reminder of how pathetic you are you couldn't even get a date on the only day of the year that women are in the mood to date you.

and my personal favorite...

Happy Valentines Day to everyone out there in Facebook Land ! Hope that it is blessed.

 

[Serious Mozzarella]

I'm happy for those of you who have significant others, because I'm sure that they make you happy And to those of us without them, let's choose to love ourselves today on this highly commercialized holiday

Forever Alone Day begins.

happy valentines day everybodyyy but if u love someone or like someone then you should show that affection everyday not just today, #justsaying..

And thus begins valentine's day So stalk up on your candy and roses dudes. Its going to be a disappointment day!

It's almost like "Bitter Singles Day"

 

[lenguy]

Whats a facebook?

 

[Serious Jones]

If I see one more shitty forever alone joke

Like memes in general are terrible enough but there is never an excuse to use them in real life

 

[Mr. Artistic guy]

Great weather for Valentines day 2011

Put ya hands in the bucket if you really don't give a shit about Valentines Day....

Someone else said they were single as well, harsh.

 

[Барбоса]

Strangely, my facebook page is rather void of such nonsense.

That may have something to do with me hiding the comments of so many of my friends that I have inadvertently (and rather wonderfully) removed those most likely to post such nauseating drivel

 

[Coco]

For you, Barbosa:

ROMANCE: THE RESUME

OVERVIEW

• Highly experienced former full-time boyfriend with eclectic clientele
• Low-maintenance serial monogamist
• Handsome, smart, charming, extremely modest

OBJECTIVES

• Leverage background to identify potential lifelong or overnight soul mate
• Establish emotionally profitable strategic alliance together
• Prefer any body types, except oblong or trapezoidal
• Opportunities for rapid advancement optional

PERSONAL STRENGTHS

• Team player if properly supervised around the clock
• Creates culture of creative collaboration featuring all-night brainstorm sessions and out-of-the-box activities
• Will respect and trust any woman willing to respect and trust me at least twice as much

SPECIAL ACCOMPLISHMENTS

• Handled increasing levels of responsibility
• Delivered wide spectrum of personal services and met key performance metrics that contributed substantially to romantic bottom line
• Devised incentive policy to improve retention, lowering break-up rate in 2010 by estimated 32%
• Pioneered innovative concept of venturing beyond dating phase into facsimile of long-term commitment
• Garnered satisfactory results for all clients except two or three who should no longer even really count because of lapses in judgment that could happen to anyone unaware of how crazy and cold and controlling certain women can be if given half a chance

EXPERIENCE

12/2010-Present: Freelance consultant on extended, self-imposed sabbatical.

6/2010-12/2010: Alison, Chief Love Officer. Instrumental in managing her emotional turnaround, due largely to intensive three-month back-rub program, enabling her to overcome longstanding intimacy issues.

4/2010-5/2010: Rachel, Executive Vice Paramour. Received excellent performance reviews. Hired on interim basis while real boyfriend, Bradley, recovered from motorcycle accident in long-term rehabilitation facility.

3/2010-4/2010: Mona, Senior Account Armpiece. Duties involved listening closely to chronic complaints about men being pigs and pretending to care. Less Miss Right, it turned out, than Miss Right Now. Implemented "open" relationship without telling her, succeeding only until she found out.

4/2009-3/2010: Numerous side trips, detours, lost weekends and mistakes hardly worth mentioning at all except in the interest of full disclosure, due diligence and corporate transparency.

8/2008-10/2009: Dolores, Junior Associate Squeeze. Regularly applied problem-solving techniques, such as remembering all her birthdays and anniversaries. Twice spearheaded conversations about moving in together unprompted. Nearly earned tenure.

7/2008-8/2008: Sally, Summer intern. Argued about everything—even whether, given a choice in an emergency, to opt for air or water—until hoarseness forced us both to learn sign language. Never complained despite her annoying habits of breathing while eating and blinking in her sleep.

EDUCATION

Oh, you bet.

HOBBIES

Advanced canoodling, moonlit dinners in mid-afternoon, candlelit breakfasts at midnight, unlit lunches in midtown coffee shops, Axl Rose impersonation during orgasm.

AWARDS

Four-time winner of BEST BOYFRIEND FOR THE FIRST 15 MINUTES CONTEST (self-nominated).

MEMBERSHIPS

Boyfriends Anonymous, American Society of Wannabe Stud Puppets.

REFERENCES

Mother, Aunt Sybil and first babysitter.​

 

[Smooth Sexual Chocolate]

Learn to be wrong even when you're right, and you too can have a successful relationship.

I posted this one myself, figured I'd do my part and help out all the poor chaps who will be vigorously exercising there forearms tonight.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Happy Valetines Day! ♥ And even if you don't have someone to love, rememeber to love yourself.

Like I'd forget.

 

[Барбоса]

For you, Barbosa:

Thanks, Coco Pops

 

[Miko]

i forgot it was valentines day... i wonder if i'd even get a valentines if i wasn't taken... it makes one wonder...

Just FML!!! MASSIVLY FUCK MY LIFE

Wanted: Single Hottie to share Valentines day with if you think you can handle the job please apply below x

fuck valentines day, whens lets have sex day?

Loving all the negative valentines status's! This could be why most of you are single?? Lol

Wonderfully insightfull stuff

 

[Tiger Chaos Theory]

I didn't see it as bashing porn as much as it was a condemnation of some people being too lazy to go out and get some actual cooz. And I agree.

But married men don't have to go out to get it.

Also:

Hi it's me, Scrooge German for Valentine's Day Lol L.O.V.E. stands for L.ook O.ut V.iolent E.strogen! aaahaha jk Happy Vday to everyone that celebrates Vday.

 

[ScreaminNormanSmiley]

I don't have any friends.

 

[Super Hans]

Oh my God, dude, I feel your pain. My brother fills my News Feed all god damn day with all of this "I love you so much" bullshit. It's just painful to watch. There's a fucking message option!!

I had a couple on my fb who declared their undying love for each other about 15 times a day, i stress the word had.

 

[Sully]

Kinda hard to love Valentines day when you don't have someone to spend it with haha

this valentines day suckedd../:

valentines day is completely overratedd./:

Happy Valentines Day to all my facebook family and friends. I hope that everyone has a great day!!!

valentines day is so over rated.

VALENTINES DAY = OVER HYPE AND RATED

valentines day is gaaaaay

grammy's, schooool then kevin's coming over for valentines dayy ♥

valentines day!!!!!

I think that's enough.

 

[Super Hans]

Do you have any normal friends sully or are you all ******s?

 

[JGlass]

I am both happy with and disappointed by my facebook friends. None of them have super obnoxious Valentines day statuses. While this makes me happy because it shows progress for us as a species, it makes me sad that I don't have anything to complain about. Fuckers.

Oh and Sully, you're friends with 13 year old girls? You're a sick fuck.

 

[Merwin]

You know we both said it... 'I love you.. I love you too' the only difference? I didn't lie...

Not really annoying person but i thought that the Status was annoying a bit

 

[Mighty NorCal]

No idea why you would begrudge someone expressing their feelings for who they love. Quit being such a bitch assed hater.

I have stayed far from FB yesterday and today to avoid seeing how pathetic most people truly are. Its just a fucking day, febuary 14th, nothing more. Get the fuck over it.

 

[Sully]

Do you have any normal friends sully or are you all ******s?

I specifically picked out the ******ed ones, just for the lols. Although, it seems all my normal friends decided not to post something about Valentines Day.

Oh and Sully, you're friends with 13 year old girls? You're a sick fuck.

I use facebook as my pick up site. I googled a picture of a 15 year old, use it as my default picture, and then friended one 13 year old girl. Went into her friends, and got another, and then another.

Sometimes I share messages of my 15 year old experiences, and they think I'm just like them. Then, when they think I'm some 15 year old and want to meet up...that's when Sully has his fun. Wow...I really am a sick fuck.

I wouldn't call Valentines Day, just a day. It's still a holiday, may not be the most sane one, but it's for couples. I think it may have been created by women for another excuse for their man to by them a present...in return...the man get's sex.

 

[Final Form Snyper.]

Be nice to Sully.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

Valentines Day? FUCK!!!

 

[Vash21]

a friend of mind posted this on Facebook. He shared my opinion that Valentines Day sucks ass. Found this card to be pretty funny though.