Pitching Impact To A Potential TNA Fan

[klunderbunker]

This is what selling TNA to a fan might sound like right about now.

Dude you should totally watch Impact Wrestling. They have this guy named AJ Styles who does the most awesome flips and dives and has the best matches in the world.

Potential fan: That sounds cool. Which one is he?

Oh well actually he left after turning down money and a car and implied sex with a not terrible looking woman. But he's champion and the best in the world!

Potential fan: But I can't see him?

You might be able to if you don't mind listening to Spanish or Japanese commentary.

Potential fan: HUH?

Never mind. Oh I know you'll love this: TNA has this thing called the X Division which has no limits on it at all. Everybody is all about leaving it all in the ring and giving everything they have to be champion. They fly around and have to crawl across ropes to pull down the title belt.

Potential fan: Now that has to be cool. When are they on?

Actually scratch that since they weren't on TV this week because Impact needed more time to spend on the not bad looking older woman. Wait I almost forgot the best part! There's this team called Aces and 8's and they're just like Sons of Anarchy and they ride on motorcycles and beat up everyone!

Potential TNA fan: I don't watch Sons of Anarchy.

Uh......Oh there's this guy there named EC3 who is just like Robert Griffith III.

Potential TNA fan: He's my favorite player on my favorite team. Ok so I need to look for the black guy named EC3. He has to be cool.

Actually he's white.

Potential TNA fan: But he's more athletic than everyone else right?

.....not especially.

Potential TNA fan: He represents Washington DC though?

If the DC stands for Directly from Cleveland he does!

Potential TNA fan: Nicest guy in the company?

Actually he looks to be one of the new top heels. He's the nephew of the older lady who isn't bad looking.

Potential TNA fan: .....is he recovering from knee surgery?

YES! I can indeed assure you that he had his knee operated on last year and is at least mostly back to full strength!

Potential TNA fan: So to recap, you want me to watch a show where to see the best guy in the world I need to watch other companies, I should be a fan of Sons of Anarchy, the high flying dudes weren't even on last week, the show is apparently dominated by an older woman that isn't that bad looking and there's a guy who is supposed to be like RG3 because he's the polar opposite of him?

......did I mention Sting is still there and Hulk Hogan might come back? And Sting can almost bend over still!

None of this is intended as a parody.

 

[Slash-LN]

Not one mention of the knockouts...

 

[klunderbunker]

Not one mention of the knockouts...

Oh man there are these five girls that are freaking GORGEOUS and wear these tiny little outfits.

Potential Impact fan: You want me to stop watching lesbian cheerleader orgies on the internet to watch girls with clothes on?

 

[Slash-LN]

Much better.

 

[#MrScissorsKick]

So KB, what do people do to convince people to become TNA fans?

 

[klunderbunker]

So KB, what do people do to convince people to become TNA fans?

Don't tell them about Impact?

Right now, there isn't much to brag about. The best thing I think would be to play up Kurt Angle and EGO. They're the best things about the company right now and hopefully they get pushed.

 

[Joe's Gonna Kill You]

Umm besides having the third in his name how is ECIII anything similar to RGIII or supposed to be like him?

 

[klunderbunker]

Umm besides having the third in his name how is ECIII anything similar to RGIII or supposed to be like him?

Now you're catching on.

 

[Joe's Gonna Kill You]

Now you're catching on.

No your point is wrong why would you tell a potential fan he's supposed to be someone when he's not you're giving the fan false information. Some of your other points are ridiculous too

 

[klunderbunker]

No your point is wrong why would you tell a potential fan he's supposed to be someone when he's not you're giving the fan false information. Some of your other points are ridiculous too

And you're the most biased person I've ever seen.

 

[ABMorales787]

No your point is wrong why would you tell a potential fan he's supposed to be someone when he's not you're giving the fan false information. Some of your other points are ridiculous too

Dude, it's the same case as when WWE made MVP as a Terrell Owens knock.

 

[Joe's Gonna Kill You]

This has nothing do with me being biased, and I don't care if people enjoy or don't enjoy TNA.

Dude, it's the same case as when WWE made MVP as a Terrell Owens knock.

Sarcasm?

 

[ABMorales787]

Sarcasm?

No. It's clearly a knock. It's not really a bad thing. It's not the first time it's been done.

It's not wrong to admit TNA isn't in the best of shapes creatively.

 

[klunderbunker]

Dude, it's the same case as when WWE made MVP as a Terrell Owens knock.

And even that was a ripoff of Elix Skipper as Deion Sanders.

 

[Joe's Gonna Kill You]

How is ECIII a knock on RGIII?

The two cases are completely different

 

[Mighty NorCal]

hat exactly is the function of A's and 0.08's at this point? Isnt Dixie the number one heel? Dawliiin?

 

[Alastor]

Can't be much worse than WWE.

 

[ABMorales787]

How is ECIII a knock on RGIII?

The two cases are completely different

You're seriously asking that after typing it?

 

[Joe's Gonna Kill You]

You're seriously asking that after typing it?

Yes because having the third in EC's name doesn't make him a knock on RG

 

[Mr. Artistic guy]

Not sure I go along with some of that stuff. BFG was a good show and turned a lot of tides that needed turning. X divison belt is on someone with a story, knockouts have a story and a power duo that would seem hard to defeat, the new tag champs are over surprising well and there's a few decent tag teams around at the moment, Kurt Angle and Bobby Roode are tearing it up, AJ gets a chance to do the CM Punk deal, but properly, Hogan isn't there so that's a lot of money they are now saving, they have decided to cut their losses and move back to a permanent residence which sounds like a backstep, but will put them in a more financially stable situation so they can continue to exist at all, EC3 debut has been handled pretty well, Magnus got his win and you would expect he'll go on to bigger and better, Sting isn't the focus of the show, the X division is stacked, Aces and 8's is on the verge of death, Mr Anderson returned nd has a lot more direction than he has had his entire TNA run.

Having lived through the LAST 12 months, I'm feeling a lot more optimistic now.

 

[Hard Hit Prince]

I would most likely sell the fact that TNA is only two-hours long per week and have less pay-per-views so that would be a positive point for a casual fan who does not intend to live and breathe professional wrestling like what all of us pretty much do.

 

[Gelgarin]

ECIII is plainly a knock off of HWIII or EWIII; two English kings from the thirteenth and fourteenth centuries. Anyone who doesn't realize this rather obvious comparison is clearly a biased idiot.

 

[Mr. Artistic guy]

I would most likely sell the fact that TNA is only two-hours long per week and have less pay-per-views so that would be a positive point for a casual fan who does not intend to live and breathe professional wrestling like what all of us pretty much do.

True but funny in principle. Hey, watch us! We aren't on as much as those guys.

 

[George Steele's Barber]

ECIII is plainly a knock off of HWIII or EWIII; two English kings from the thirteenth and fourteenth centuries. Anyone who doesn't realize this rather obvious comparison is clearly a biased idiot.

My biased idiocy was making me assume he was a total C3P0 ripoff?

 

[Y 2 Jake]

Trying to pitch wrestling to a non-fan is difficult enough as it is without revealing wrestling's dirty little secret.