NorCal's weekly (probably not though) Wrestling column

[Mighty NorCal]

Snazzy name, I know. I wasn't going to do one, but then I figured why not do it anyways, while describing why I DON'T watch or care about the product.

I was going to start a weekly wrestling blog in the writing section, before realizing I don't really watch wrestling anymore.

The ebbs and flows of WWE are so odd. I thought the build for survivor series was great.

Not to mention, bringing back the ANRGM, or any fucking iteration whatsoever of "heel authority figure" its right near the top of the worst fucking things they could have done. I have BEYOND ZERO inclination to see that, or anything like it.


Were the fuck is Jack Tunney, man. Shit, Triple H could handle a role like Tunney, without doing a thirty minute promo to start every night. Issues arise, matches get made. Done and done.

Why does every match need 100 stipulations to "stack" against the face? You know how heels stack the deck? BY FUCKING CHEATING. HELLO.

When the continual conversation arises as to why NXT is the best wrestling show on earth right now, I chalk a lot of the main shows' failings up to format.....The main shows are a giant commercial for the WWE's 97 other agendas that aren't wrestling. Not to mention the stupid-ass concept of it being an "entertainment show" or a "variety show".....Wait, are there comedians? Cartoon skits? Girls dancing in cages? Musical guests? Monkeys in little cowboy outfits riding a dog around? No, its not an "entertainment show" its just a shitty, boring wrestling show.

However, the basic format and logic behind how matches get made in NXT is not something that could not be used for RAWSD for that reason. People have issues, you give them match against each other. People are both top contenders, you put them against one another. Then again, I forget that wins and losses don't really mean shit on the main roster, nor do titles. Silly me.

I would love for someone who works for that company to explain to me....If continuity doesn't matter, if heel or face dispositions don't matter, if titles don't matter, and if wins and losses don't matter....

What does matter?

Susan G Kolman for the cure, TOUT, and Total Divas, apparently.

 

[Mighty NorCal]

Pretty lackluster PPV to send off the year.

Ziggler and Harper rocked pretty hard. Too bad for Ziggler he won the IC title, which is sure to begin another 77 match losing streak for him. All on live TV, of course.

Speaking of losing, Cole, I really fucking hate you. "HARPER HAS NO DISREGARD FOR HIMSELF" Cole, you goddamn motherfucking IDIOT. You said it TWICE. Not to mention "This is the title that makes stars!" Right after mentioning it was the 5th time Ziggler had won it. Huh?

The rest of the show was forgettable.

I really don't get Rowan as a face. The live crowd clearly doesn't either.

Why not have Ryback no-sell chair shots and refuse to use weapons because he doesn't need them? Booking him like this, what sets him apart from any other white-bread power based face?

The Cena-Rollins match was woefully overbooked.....Just what exactly was the need for the ref bump and double table crash thing? It had no bearing on anything whatsoever.

I liked actually seeing a heel out and out cheat for a win. Been a long time. Too bad a worthless Diva was the one to actually have the savvy to pull it off.

Clearly a lot of effort put into the Main Event by both guys......Which makes it a true true shame that match was a straight snooze-pill. I mean that in all seriousness, I nodded off during about 2 or 3 minutes of it. Its really disappointing that two guys can put themselves through what seemed like a lot of pain and still manage to put on such a dull match, and a stupid-ass finish, that put over exctly nobody.

I have asked so many times, and ill ask again.....HOW THE FUCK DO KENDO STICKS GET UNDER THE RING? WHO IS PRACTICING MARTIAL ARTS BEFORE THE SHOW???

Its really time to scrap this show. Swap it out with a Christmas theme show, or even Tribute To The Troops.

 

[TheICChampion]

Another question. How many times did the say only certain weapons were legal in the matches and yet we saw them use other weapons?

 

[Mighty NorCal]

I didn't update for a few weeks, because what was I gonna do? Just continue to say how much this or that sucks? I am all for calling WWE on their bullshit, but not at the expense of being hyper-repetitive.


It's a shame for what I thought was a great RAW that WWE has done such a fine job of sucking the will to live out of their fan base for two weeks that it felt like no one was watching or cared. Perhaps a ratings pop against no competition will prove me wrong on that point.

Gimmicky shows like last night are fun as go-home shows, since really, they should be about putting a final stamp on an angle or angles heading into the payoff. I feel like the WWE did that well last night, and it feels like we have a show this year that people truly NEED to see, to find out what happens.

The WrestleMania direction is truly WAY up in the air, with seemingly about six to eight different plausible scenarios playing out.

How badly does the crowd in general want to cheer Lesnar? If this crowd in Philly had been from about ten years ago, it would be a resounding pro-Lesnar environment on sunday...Alas, they have become pretty docile in the modern age. New York, Long Island, Chicago and Pittsburgh(WTF??) are your last real smark bastions.

The usage of Sting was very cool, and it looks like we are for SURE headed for Sting-Triple H. Fine by me, if they are planning on doing Wyatt Vs Taker, as rumoured.

The only real negative I could find was the IC title going right back to being the "jobber status symbol" as Barrett, fresh off a hot return and title win, goes to having a jobber entrance and losing an utterly pointless match to Dean Ambrose. You could have used ANYONE the fuck else for that, but no....the Intercontinental Champion.


A fun show which sent us with a hot finish on our way to Smackdown and to Sunday. Ill be there live, front and center, 14 rows from the ring. Its going to be uproarious.

 

[Theo Mays]

I still think Philly has top notch crowds for PPV's that is. I can't remember the last time (at least in person) that the Philly crowd was crazy. Maybe the Slammy's when Big E debuted (forget the year), crowd was on point that night. However the crowd at MITB 2013 was awesome, I loved it. One of the better crowds I've been apart of, at least much better than the Boston crowd of MITB 2014. I can't wait for the Rumble. I do agree the shows have been draining, but hopefully the crowd brings it Sunday and gets things rolling again. Wishful thinking eh?

 

[Mighty NorCal]

I still think Philly has top notch crowds for PPV's that is. I can't remember the last time (at least in person) that the Philly crowd was crazy. Maybe the Slammy's when Big E debuted (forget the year), crowd was on point that night. However the crowd at MITB 2013 was awesome, I loved it. One of the better crowds I've been apart of, at least much better than the Boston crowd of MITB 2014. I can't wait for the Rumble. I do agree the shows have been draining, but hopefully the crowd brings it Sunday and gets things rolling again. Wishful thinking eh?

By all means, the crowd in general is great, I just mean that they are no longer a hardcore smark haven were shit gets super rowdy. Every time I have gone there has been plenty of energy and reaction, but its the way a traditional crowd would react as opposed to a super smarky crowd, you know?

I am sure they (WE!) will bring plenty of energy, but I was just pointing out than in another time, you would have had probably 70% of the crowd LOUDLY behind Lesnar, 10% behind Cena, and 30% behind Rollins.

Yea, I know that is more than 100. That's because Philly crowds give 110%

 

[The Dragon Saga]

Just because I saw you mention it in another thread, are you excited for what I can only assume is your first ROH TV taping on Saturday? Card looks great for a TV taping.

 

[Mighty NorCal]

I must admit with a heavy, heavy heart that I was not able to secure a proper company to go along with me to the show. Not to mention, I have the honorable J Glass coming to stay at my place Saturday before the rumble, thus it is somewhat important that I be at said home.

I was so, so pumped about the card, and it is an extra knife to the heart that I DO have a few buddies who are aware of and like ROH, but could not make it out here to go to the show.

The crew, at times, can be a bit close-minded when it comes to outside of the box planning, unfortunately. Shit, I wanted to go to JR's one man spoken word tour the afternoon before the Rumble as well, but I got an equally tepid response to that as the ROH show. If it were up to me, I would have gone to all three.

I let myself down, and you guys down another time!!

 

[The Dragon Saga]

It's cool, least you can still watch the shows online when they air.

Bullet Club vs. Sydal, ACH and Alexander, plus The Briscoes & ODB vs. The Kingdom should both be entertaining as hell.

 

[justinsayne]

I must admit with a heavy, heavy heart that I was not able to secure a proper company to go along with me to the show. Not to mention, I have the honorable J Glass coming to stay at my place Saturday before the rumble, thus it is somewhat important that I be at said home.

I was so, so pumped about the card, and it is an extra knife to the heart that I DO have a few buddies who are aware of and like ROH, but could not make it out here to go to the show.

The crew, at times, can be a bit close-minded when it comes to outside of the box planning, unfortunately. Shit, I wanted to go to JR's one man spoken word tour the afternoon before the Rumble as well, but I got an equally tepid response to that as the ROH show. If it were up to me, I would have gone to all three.

I let myself down, and you guys down another time!!

This happens to me a lot, especially with wrestling related events, I just say fuck it & go by myself if I can't find friends to join me. It is much more fun when you can share the experience with friends though.

 

[Mighty NorCal]

I have gone to plenty of wrestling shows by myself, and would have sincerely considered doing so here, but I have the house guest situation going on. Plus by the time all the foot draggers got back to me with what their actual plans were, no seating arrangements that interested me were still hanging around. that is the type of show id need to be first two rows or nothing


Though I suppose in that venue it wouldn't really matter

 

[Thriller Ant]

I have gone to plenty of wrestling shows by myself, and would have sincerely considered doing so here, but I have the house guest situation going on. Plus by the time all the foot draggers got back to me with what their actual plans were, no seating arrangements that interested me were still hanging around. that is the type of show id need to be first two rows or nothing


Though I suppose in that venue it wouldn't really matter

All but one or two of the ROH shows I've gone to I've sat 3rd row. I haven't had issues with not being able to see (I'm 6'4) and you are definitely close enough to make it worth it. It would be cool to do first row, but I'm not that rich. Maybe someday if they have a PPV near me I'll splurge, but for a regular show, I'm okay with sitting a bit farther back.

 

[Mighty NorCal]

How badly does the crowd in general want to cheer Lesnar? If this crowd in Philly had been from about ten years ago, it would be a resounding pro-Lesnar environment on sunday...Alas, they have become pretty docile in the modern age. New York, Long Island, Chicago and Pittsburgh(WTF??) are your last real smark bastions.

Great fuckin' call on that one, NorCal, fucking idiot.



I will back this up by telling a story that I told to everyone in my truck while driving home from the Rumble....


I went to a show in this same arena in I think 2008, or 2009, during one of Shelton Benjamin's 100 pushes. Anyways, that night the "Gold Standard" took on a special surprise opponent......Tommy fuckin' Dreamer.....

To my utter shock and horror, the crowd was entirely non-plussed. To the point were it felt like few in attendance outside of myself even knew who he was.

I was just as surprised and overjoyed as anyone that the crowd ended up being so rabid and memorable at the Rumble. A great time had by all.

It looks like the WWE is slowly yet surely turning the corner on what appeared to be disaster at the Rumble, and is also letting Reigns have a bit more freedom. I also chuckle at people scoffing at WWE for "caving in again".....As if they were the ones who had made millions over the last three decades making pro wrestling.


They "caved in" twice instead of simply knowing what they were doing and totally working all of you?

Sure..... That's what happened. Yea.

 

[Mighty NorCal]

I was going to put this elsewere on the forum were not many would see it, because I enjoy the return of kayfabe so much....


But then I realize this very column can be classified as "Elsewere on the forum were not many would see it"


Between the many, many posts I see on this forum, and some of the Podcasts I listen to by wrestling pundits (Mostly Cornette im talking about here) people seem like they are in such a hurry to shit on WWE, and take such pleasure in talking about how stupid they are, that they are either aloof to the obvious, or themselves are completely stupid.


Do so many people honestly not get it?


So many things I heard on the Cornette - Storm podcast this morning made me want to bash my head into my steering wheel.

The basic idea is well, since the WWE has invited reality into their programming, that kayfabe is 110% dead, and are now at the mercy of their audience. That they invited their audience to participate, but don't like it when the audience then does so(being the case with Batista last year, and Reigns this year).


The main premise was that since 97, the WWE have conditioned their fans to see them as an evil corporation that holds people down (IE heel authority figures) but have ALSO let people "in on" how the backstage inter-workings go.....So when they christen someone "the guy" and it isn't the same guy the crowd has clearly christened "they guy" of course the crowd flips out, and turns on them, since the WWE has invited them to participate, but also let them know about backstage decision making and "pushes"


So wait, let me get this straight, sirs

The WWE purposely invites the crowd to participate (because fans are smartened up to a degree now)

The WWE has seen fit to let people in on how the backstage works to an extent (Obviously since its not hard to find out that information anyhow)

They have positioned themselves as heels who keep the little guy down, and hand pick their successors, crowd reaction be damned

......They then pick Batista last year (over Bryan) and then pick Reigns this year (Over Bryan), and of course the crowd shits on it...





You sincerely think none of this is on purpose? In a business PREDICATED, from DAY ONE, on making people think what they are seeing is real, and buying in to it, you REALLY GENUINELY belive the WWE "pulling the curtain back" because they "Acknowledge fans are just so smart these days" isn't just the modern day version of working the crowd? This company that has made hundreds of millions of dollars has made all these decisions and booking angles because they are incompetent, and you, in contrast, are so much smarter than they?

"Heel management picks their new golden boy over the crowd favorite even though they told the crowd they listen to them and they wont work them anymore"

BOY THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE A WRESTLING ANGLE, DOES IT??

Are you fucking kidding me?

Funny how it looks like Bryan is going to end up in the main event against said golden boys two years in a row. It's all because this stupid (mutli million dollar) Company (who has dominated the wrestling world for over 50 years) just didn't know what the hell they were doing and pulled their heads out of their asses at the last second!...We belive that, even though they have purposely embraced letting people "know how things work" backstage! Picking one person for a "push" and then deciding to go with the guy the "smartened up crowd likes" for a "push" just simply could NOT be a part of the show! I mean, why would an incredibly successful wrestling company use the market research they have to still do things the way they should? You know, BY TRICKING PEOPLE TO FULLY BELIVE SHIT THAT ISNT TRUE.

I shit you not, the following quote came from that podcast

"Triple H is playing his heel persona, talking about he manipulates everyone, and then goes right on Austins podcast and acts totally normal and tells the truth"

Tells the truth?



Yea, no way one of the greatest wrestlers of all time didn't have every single answer planned out. No way Austin, another of the greatest wrestlers ever, didn't know exactly what he should ask, and the directions the interview should take.

I MEAN, IT WAS REAL DAMMIT!


Wrestling has ALWAYS been at the mercy of what its audience wants, im not sure were anyone is picking up otherwise. If a new up and comer was popping the territory, you put the fucking belt on him. Its not any different. It's just another way of it working, because we are now in 2015.

Does anyone else not find it hilarious that people on the one hand rail on about how "in the old days" characters were basically real life counter-parts of themselves, and people bought into it, but never REALLY knew what was going on because it was a work.....and then turn right around and say the WWE is stupid for showing people how things work, and who their characters really(NO, REALLY!) are.


Hello?



Wrestling is always at the mercy of its audience. Thing is, its 2015. The way we go about basically everything in the world has changed a lot.

Oh, but except wrestling. They haven't modernized at all, or utilized what is available to them to keep things happening the way they should happen. Yea, for sure.

I'd say kayfabe is alive and well in 2015.

 

[Mighty NorCal]

We continue our senseless, utterly limp dick push into Mania. What a weird, soft road it has been.

The IC title is in a storyline fit for a Sylvester and tweety(SP?) bird cartoon

Taker isn't there (reasonable)

Sting isn't there....Shit, this week, TRIPLE H WASN'T EVEN THERE

Orton turned on Rollins in about the least sudden and visceral way possible. Were the fuck was J and J? They had left ringside literally less than two minutes before. Did Orton set a trap for them backstage? One of those jungle net gimmicks? How much more violent can his revenge possibly get?

Lesnar is interesting, but no one gives a shit about Reigns.

Cena - Rusev isn't bad, but not enough is being made of it.

Its tough to come up with any solutions at this point. Reigns and Bryan would do great if their spots were switched, and it would be better for everyone involved, but that's clearly far gone, long ago.

Man, we sure need to put gasoline on these storylines 3 weeks out from Mania....


SO LETS HAVE A WIZ KHALIFA CONCERT. Fuck is up with that name, what does he pee a lot or something?

 

[Mighty NorCal]

Wrestlemania Initial Musings


I have yet for someone to present to me an actual REASON as to why the Rollins deal was OMG THE GREATEST FUCKING THING FUCKING EVER FUCK OH MY FUCKING GOD YES, other than "DUDE HE FUCKING CASHED IN"

Yes, I know that. Why is that so great?

"BECAUSE DUDE HE FUCKING CASHED IN"

Ok. I get it. Why is that good?

"BECAUSE ROLLINS CASHED IN MAN CAN YOU BELEIVE IT?@?!"

I cant wait for in two weeks when the same people are hating RAW because the same 30 minute Rollins/Authority promo we have heard since last spring keeps opening indefinite amounts of RAWs.

The fuck was the point of ending that Lesnar reign that way?


I think this Mania made me angry because it was *just* short of being one of the all time greats, held back by a few real weird booking decisions, and the lack of one truly great match. Shit, matches of the night were a draw between the ladder match and Lesnar - Reigns. People will point to Orton and Rollins, but really wasnt any different than what you get on a random episode of RAW.


and SWEET BABY JESUS how goddamn LONG was the Authority/Rock/Rousey segment? Look man, I get it. Great end result. That was easily the coolest celeb involvement ever (though I thought it was a bit of a let down she didnt judo flip Steph too)....But my GOODNESS it just went ON and ON and ONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNAAAHHHH.

I was fucking infuriated about Sting and Triple H. The overbooking was fine, by why in the seven fucking hells do you FINALLY get Sting after 14 years, only to marginalize him, and then have him LOSE the fucking payoff match? Mind boggling.

Only slightly more than Undertaker winning. What, exactly, does that do for anyone?


That should be the tagline of this show.

"What, exactly, does that do for anyone?"


B+. Every match was solid to very good, and production was top notch. Top ten, maybe top 8 mania for sure. Doesnt belong in the Pantheon with 17, 19, 24, 26, and 30.

 

[Mighty NorCal]

As much as I find Cornette hilarious, he suffers from being a certain kind of oblivious, and also the old man issues of "all this was so much better back in my day" while droning on and on about wrestling promotions that, uh, went out of business. Hello.

The oblivious part comes in when he continually rags on and on about how stupid and gullible all republicans and red-staters are, then goes on to talk about how back in his day, the reason people in the south loved wreslting and believed it was REAL was because of how awesome and logically they booked the territory.

Yea, it has NOTHING to do with the crossover of the sort of people you talked about on the political side of the rant.

You ever stop to think, maybe they are mostly the same people, and they took wrestling that seriously because they were just fucking stupid?


Speaking of stupid, how goddamn dumb did the announcers on RAW this week (well...every week) sound talking up how Neville got his chance to "work one on one with THE CHAMP, THE MAN, BAH GAWD"......Uh, he cashed in MITB. he hasn't even defended the belt. He isn't exactly Dory fucking Funk here. Stop.