Yeah, I said it. You read that right; next week's edition of Impact Wrestling should bring us the first ever musical episode of professional wrestling!
This weeks Impact was everything right about professional wrestling; it had pretty good matches, larger than life characters that entertain, and interesting conflict and drama. Even Aces & 8's, who I've been less than thrilled about, didn't seem all that bad.
And then... Then the last fifteen minutes were sublime television. Absolutely sublime. Fuck off if you expect to take that last fifteen minutes as super cereal... Even if everyone was trying to play it straight, it was such brilliant absurdist television, that I didn't give two squirts of piss, it was just fun. Hulk was hilarious to watch, Bully was awesome in his role, Sting was... There, and Brooke was actually pretty good, too. It's going to lead to perhaps the goofiest wrestling wedding to come down the pike since Uncle Elmer and Joyce.
Wrestling weddings are always wacky television, as they should be. Randy Savage and Elizabeth getting married at Summerslam? Fuck off with that nonsense; I would watch Teddy and Krystal getting married, with Teddy having his heart attack, a thousand times before I watch Macho Man's wedding. Besides, those scaldy fucks separated a year later earlier. Wrestling weddings are supposed to be wacky little affairs, and if you take them seriously, you're more than likely a waste of sperm. Which is why Bully, Brooke, and Impact Wrestling have to go all the way; next week, it has to be a musical edition of Impact Wrestling.
Everyone gets a song. After all, Brooke is a former singer, is she not? Fuck off with if everyone is a good singer, they're not going to be. Hulk singing would be absolutely incredible. Fuck, even give Aces & 8's a song, talking about how they're going to ruin the ending. We all know how this is going to wind up anyway, someone's turning on someone, so you can all singing about the same things. Get everyone involved... Have Daniels and Kaz play the role of The Thenadiers, have Austin Aries play the role of the guy that started it all... fuck, maybe make him a narrator of sorts. You can have matches, after all, not all musicals are all singing. But please, please let this happen
This whole thing has been absurdly fun, and at the end of the day, wrestling is all about your audience having a lot of fun.And I can guarantee you, a musical edition of Impact will be more fun than any wrestling show for the rest of the year. End this angle with a bang; make next week's Impact a musical
Let these wrestlers sing
It will be the best Brooke sounds
In her whole career
This weeks Impact was everything right about professional wrestling; it had pretty good matches, larger than life characters that entertain, and interesting conflict and drama. Even Aces & 8's, who I've been less than thrilled about, didn't seem all that bad.
And then... Then the last fifteen minutes were sublime television. Absolutely sublime. Fuck off if you expect to take that last fifteen minutes as super cereal... Even if everyone was trying to play it straight, it was such brilliant absurdist television, that I didn't give two squirts of piss, it was just fun. Hulk was hilarious to watch, Bully was awesome in his role, Sting was... There, and Brooke was actually pretty good, too. It's going to lead to perhaps the goofiest wrestling wedding to come down the pike since Uncle Elmer and Joyce.
Wrestling weddings are always wacky television, as they should be. Randy Savage and Elizabeth getting married at Summerslam? Fuck off with that nonsense; I would watch Teddy and Krystal getting married, with Teddy having his heart attack, a thousand times before I watch Macho Man's wedding. Besides, those scaldy fucks separated a year later earlier. Wrestling weddings are supposed to be wacky little affairs, and if you take them seriously, you're more than likely a waste of sperm. Which is why Bully, Brooke, and Impact Wrestling have to go all the way; next week, it has to be a musical edition of Impact Wrestling.
Everyone gets a song. After all, Brooke is a former singer, is she not? Fuck off with if everyone is a good singer, they're not going to be. Hulk singing would be absolutely incredible. Fuck, even give Aces & 8's a song, talking about how they're going to ruin the ending. We all know how this is going to wind up anyway, someone's turning on someone, so you can all singing about the same things. Get everyone involved... Have Daniels and Kaz play the role of The Thenadiers, have Austin Aries play the role of the guy that started it all... fuck, maybe make him a narrator of sorts. You can have matches, after all, not all musicals are all singing. But please, please let this happen
This whole thing has been absurdly fun, and at the end of the day, wrestling is all about your audience having a lot of fun.And I can guarantee you, a musical edition of Impact will be more fun than any wrestling show for the rest of the year. End this angle with a bang; make next week's Impact a musical
Let these wrestlers sing
It will be the best Brooke sounds
In her whole career
