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Movie Roundtable

Up In Smoke>Employee Of The Month

I believe there are 2 movies by this name. One with Matt Dillon and Christina Applegate that was meh, and the one with Dane Cook that flat out sucked ass. I hate Dane Cook as an actor. I'm willing to let him pass as a comedian, but he's a shit actor. Jessica Simpson sucks massive amounts of ass too. Now If you haven't seen this movie, by all means don't waste your time. There has to be something better to do with your time.
 
Employee of the Month > Halloween

John Carpenter's legendary Halloween franchise spawned like four thousand crappy sequels, but they're legendary nonetheless, for helping define the entire slasher-horror genre. The original movie scared the living shit out of me back when I was way too young to watch it, but gave my mother the middle finger behind her back and watched it anyway. It's one of my favorite movies of all time (mostly due to nostalgia), to the point where I have props from the movie in storage, as well as one of the original theater film reels sent out upon release. Plus, original movie poster, framed.
 
HALLOWEEN>National Treasure

Great Movie...Who doesnt like a great treasure hunting flick. Well written and great plot. As much as I dont like Nick Cage's acting he was ok in this one. Jerry Bruckheimer's movies are usually gold so you cant go wrong with this one.
 
National Treasure>Enter The Dragon

I feel the man who gave us profound sayings like:

I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.

and

Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless - like water. Now you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup, you put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, you put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.

deserves his own spot on this thread. He was a legend, philosopher, the first Mixed Martial Artist, and a great actor. Aside from the fact that Sammo Hung and Jackie Chan were in this movie it was Lee's final acting appearance before his tragic death. Sorry that this was more about Lee than Enter The Dragon, but the man made the movie so I don't really feel it's off topic.
 
Enter the Dragon> No Country for Men

No Country for Old Men is one of the Coen Brother's best works. This is a modern take on the classic western, but it is much darker and takes out any bit of happiness or cheesiness that comes with almost any other Western.

What stands out most to me about this film is the use of sound. If you listen closely, there is no non-diegetic (sound that doesn't exists in the world of the movie) except for at the very beginning. Because of this, you become super aware of what's happening in the film and it becomes very easy to get lost in the barren scenery as you can detect even the faintest sound of sand hitting the side of a wall.

This film also features one of the all time creepiest bad guys in Anton Chigurh, a man who is willing to leave life and death up to the flip of a coin. What's worse is, much like Chris Jericho, Chigurh may very well be the best at what he does.
 
No Country For Old Men>Next Friday

Sequels usually suck and this is no exception. I mean, I guess it isn't completely terrible. It has it's moments and can be quite funny at times. But compared to it's predecessor, which is a classic in my book, it just doesn't compare. I believe that the main thing that hurt this movie was the swapping of Chris Rock for Mike Epps. Epps has his moments, but Tucker made that first movie.
 
Next Friday > Yogi Bear

Another movie beginning with a “Y”... Come on!

But seriously, I have no seen his movie and have desire to whatsoever. The problem with this movie is that it is coming out at a time when people are rebooting older franchises and this one was just never going to work. Considering that Yogi Bear was never one of the biggest cartoons, it was always going to be very difficult for it to perform under the cinema of today. One of my friends, who loves Yogi Bear I should add, went to see this movie and said was an atrocity to it's legacy. Pretty damning and when you look at it's figures, it clearly was a feeling that was shared around the world. With a budget of $80 million and only making $100, I doubt you will ever see a sequel unless you they can cut costs elsewhere.
 
Yogi Bear>Rocky IV

So Rocky IV features what I believe is the best fight out of all of the Rocky films. Completely unrealistic, but damn entertaining, Rocky Balboa takes on Ivan Drago in the Soviet Union on Christmas Day, looking to avenge the death of his buddy and former foe Apollo Creed. It's clichéd as hell storyline, and it creates a clichéd as hell film. However, no matter how terrible the film is (believe me, it's pretty damn bad) I still can't help but enjoy it just because of how cheesy/shamefully pro American it is. Hell Rocky ends communism long before the Berlin Wall comes down.
 
Rocky IV > Romeo & Juliet Right? Four

The 1997 version starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes follows the classic Shakespearian dialogue, with the twist of a modern setting. An overall good cast---Jonh Leguizamo, Brian Dennehy, Paul Sorvino--- Technology helps make the story more appealing to younger audiences and the setting makes the the story more relatable. When all is said and done, both Romeo & Juliet still die. But, Baz Luhrmann really does a unique job in directing.
 
Romeo & Juliet > Top Gun

Easily one of the best movies ever. It was Cruise's best role and it's one of the few movies I could watch again many times without getting sick of it. The soundtrack is also great. What's great about the soundtrack is that unlike most movies, the entire soundtrack can be found in the actual film, whereas most movie soundtracks just have a bunch of random singles released hoping to find success alongside the film's name on the cover. Each song fit the part of the movie it was in great, making the overall experience of the film better as well. It was ahead of its time and one of my favorites. Typing this makes me want to watch it again....
 
Top Gun > Napoleon Dynamite

I honestly have no idea why this has received such a high amount praise since it was released. I tried to give it a go a couple of years ago and could not have found it any more frustratingly stupid if I had tried. Don't get me wrong, there is some things in this movie that people will affix themselves to like leeches. The “Vote For Pedro” thing is pretty funny and the story is quite uplifting but it is far too slow-paced and unyieldingly annoying for me to ever take seriously and maybe that is where I was going going wrong. Nevertheless, I hate this movie and all the people who defend it.
 
Napoleon Dynamite > Easy A

Easy A was Emma Stone's first project in which she starred, and she rocked it. The movie itself was very good, but Emma Stone proved herself to be the best young comedy actress in the world today, nailing the role of Olive perfectly. It was also refreshing to see an attractive young lady in high school portrayed as mature, intelligent, and witty.

Some people may say this is a poor man's Mean Girls, but they are two different films. While Mean Girls deals with the topic of acceptance by one's peers, Easy A deals with the much muddier topic of sex in high school and how people of all ages are or are not able to handle relationships. Some manage pretty well (Olive's parents, Penn Badgley's character), while others are terrible (Olive, Lisa Kudrow's character).
 
A quick note on Easy A: While I did find the movie to be enjoyable, I had one issue with it. You have an adult themed film set in a high school, yet you don't hear the word fuck one time? Really? Not a big issue but still, makes it a little less believable to me. Anyway, back on topic:

Easy A>Accepted

I've seen this movie get a lot of shit but I have always found it be quite enjoyable. The premise may be shaky and the ending is a little ridiculous, but the jokes were good. I always find Jonah Hill pretty hilarious and even though he was playing a nerd in this film, I still dug it. The dude is just funny as hell to me.
 
Accepted > Donnie Darko

Here's the thing about Donnie Darko. The reason why I like it is because it is a really good movie. The plot is strange but eerily addictive. I have never met anyone in my life who has sat down to watch this movie and then thought better of it. No, this is a movie that will suck you in from the very start and I enjoyed that aspect of the film. What I don't enjoy is the hundreds of thousands of people who now have a cult following of this movie. Are they seeing something I didn't? Did it express all the emo pain their suffering hearts? Come on, get a grip of yourself. This is a good movie though and is definitely worth a watch so that you can cross it off of the list of must see movies.
 
Accepted>Donnie Brasco

This is by far my favorite Johnny Depp movie. It doesn't get much better than an FBI agent infiltrating the mob and the becoming fully immersed in the lifestyle. Depp was wonderful and showed the true emotion that would come along with being in the dilema of trying to bust people that he actually came to like.

Al Pacino was also awesome in this film. I found it especially sad when he knew he was going to get wacked and he took off all of his jewelry, left it on his dresser, and then kissed his wife goodbye.

This is one of those films that I can watch over and over again.
 
Donnie Darko/Brasco>Observe And Report

How fucking funny is it that 2 people responded to the same post yet the both are really similar titles and end with an o? That's awesome. Anywho, Observe And Report may be the worst movie of Seth Rogen's career but I still enjoyed it a bit. It's a pretty ridiculous story about a Mall Cop with a personality disorder but he was fucking insane to a point of hilarity. When he shot the flasher I laughed my ass off so hard. Ridiculous movie but it was so stupid that I really enjoyed it.
 
A quick note about Observe And Report. I watched this movie with one of my friends and we found ti to be a pretty lacklustre affair. However, as Nate said, there was flashes of brilliance in this movie. For example, when he is taking the mental test for the police force, he talks about mowing down kids in a playground. That, to me, was damn funny. Also, when he shoots the flasher, I am pretty sure I coughed up a lung with all the laughing.

Observe And Report > The Mummy Returns

I have been a fan of this series since the very first movie and even went to see The Scorpion King. I think this was the movie that launched the Rock's movie career and he should be thankful for that. This movie is brilliant and Imhotep was a great villain to balance out Brendan Fraser. This is a movie from my childhood that I hold very dear to my heart. I still have the DVD and that is saying something, believe me.
 
The Mummy Returns>Surviving the Game

A homeless man (Ice-T) is tricked into going on a hunting trip by a wealthy business man only to find out that he will be the prey of the hunt. Gary Busey plays...well a crazy son of a bitch, and does a great job. I love the scene when Ice-T discovers the trophy room, and the scene when the son of one of the hunters takes a deadly plunge into a gorge. This movie is worth watching for sure, even though it is a complete rip off of the short story, "The Most Dangerous Game."
 
The Mummy Returns> Sick Girl I'm not any good at these kind of things so I will keep it short but I feel I had to add this movie.

Not normally a fan of these kind of movies but the actress in this movie played the part incredibly well. It had a weird storyline around it and the title of the movie is really fitting. Normally this type of movie has no plot and its just to show the most disturbing things in one movie but If you're into disturbing movies I would definitely give sick girl a go. I found myself glued to the tv screen watching this.


Edit: Sorry Drew, I type to slow... :(
 
Sick Girl>Leave Her To Heaven

This old film-noir is a classic. If you've not seen this movie I highly recommend it. Pretty much a staple for psychotic and sociopathic women who do their best to destroy everyone and everything around them for reasons only known to them. The ending is a tad bit cliché, but I won't presume to know how movies like this ended in the mid-40's so it may only be cliché by today's standards. Either way, this film won an Oscar and was nominated for several and hasn't had a negative review that I'm aware of.
 
Leave Her To Heaven>Never Say Never Again

Sean Connery's final outing in the role that made him famous; James Bond. It's not officially a part of the series, but that doesn't matter for me as I personally think this was a hell of a lot more fun than the later Moore films which were becoming very, very repetitive. Moore was solid in the roll, he just moved on too late. Connery brings his usual flare and swagger and delivers a fine performance. It's all the goodness of Bond with no strings attached.
 
Never Say Never Again>Napoleon Dynamite

I know this movie has quite the following and yes, it does have some redeeming qualities, but I just don't enjoy it. It's not my kind of comedy and it's not my style of movie. I watched it with zero expectations whatsoever, but even still, I was bored out of my skull the whole way through. The dancing sequence at the end was very funny, but for the most part I found it very bland an uninteresting.
 
Napoleon Dynamite>Extract

I thought that this movie was ok. I saw it in the theater and was really hoping for more. Jason Bateman was good, as was Ben Afleck in his limited role. I found Kristen Wiig to be great. I thought that it was hillarious that Bateman set his wife up to cheat on him so he could eventually do the same.

Ouch though, to the poor guy that had his testicles shot off in the beginning of the film.
 
Extract > The Exorcist

The Exorcist, although no one in their right mind will admit it as a grown human being, is still one of the most horrifying movies of all time. I hate when people say that they watched it and they laughed all the way through. Maybe you did and maybe you didn't. The fact of the matter is that you deprived yourself of one of the greatest movie experiences ever created. I watched this movie when I was very young and it put the fear of God in me for a good two weeks. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw that gruesome face and that is the ever-lasting effect of cinema. This movie is an out-and-out classic that will forever be listed as one of the most terrifying movies of all time.
 
Extract > The Exorcist

The Exorcist, although no one in their right mind will admit it as a grown human being, is still one of the most horrifying movies of all time. I hate when people say that they watched it and they laughed all the way through. Maybe you did and maybe you didn't. The fact of the matter is that you deprived yourself of one of the greatest movie experiences ever created. I watched this movie when I was very young and it put the fear of God in me for a good two weeks. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw that gruesome face and that is the ever-lasting effect of cinema. This movie is an out-and-out classic that will forever be listed as one of the most terrifying movies of all time.

Ill Admit it......

The Exorcist > Taken

Great action flick starring Liam Neeson. I loved the idea of this movie. Strong plot and great storytelling. Liam did an outstanding job in basically 2 roles in one character, The loving father/pissed off ex spy trying to find his kidnapped daughter at any cost. Great car chase scene and when he finds out his friend is involved what he does there is just outstanding.
 

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