I’m in the middle of a tunnel. It’s a long, stone archway that seems to go on forever with a brilliant light at the end. Like those stories you hear from those who have come close to dying. I take a step forward, and another and another. But I can’t get any closer. The light actually seems to be getting further away from me. But I have to know what’s at the end. I need to know. There are answers at the end. The answers that I need right now.
But in an instant, everything changes. I’m standing in the middle of a bar. My favourite one from back home. Smoke filters through the room. There’s groups of people dotted around, smiling, chatting and laughing. But I can’t hear any of it.
My eyes are drawn to a dark figure in the corner, and I find myself walking towards it. It’s sitting at a table, and empty glass in front of it. As I get closer, I see the figure, but I don’t know who it is. A shadow seems to be covering his face. And yet, the features that I do see are vaguely familiar to me.
I sit down opposite the figure. No words are exchanged for a several moments. Among the shadow, I see a pair of eyes. They stare right into me, and I can’t look away.
Finally, the figure speaks.
“Have you been able to get the blood off your hands?” he asks, a little relish in the voice. A voice that I’m certain I know, but can’t quite place.
“What blood?” I respond.
“You attacked an essentially unarmed man. One with mental issues, by the looks of it.”
“Hey, in my defence—“ I begin.
“You think you deserve a defence?” the figure cuts in with a scoff.
“Don’t I?”
“Does Diabolos?”
“Are you really comparing me to him?” I growl, offended.
“Are you really all that different? You attacked him last week. Without provocation--”
“Hey, it wasn’t without provocation,” I try to interrupt.
“--Just like he did with your friend Bob,” the figure finishes.
“That was different.”
The figure laughs. It sends a chill down my spine.
“Sure. I’m not disappointed in you for attacking Diabolos. I’m disappointed in you for not owning it. I thought, with everything that happened between you and Triple X, you were going to change. Man, it was going to be great. Just like old times. Remember when you knew what you wanted? And when you didn’t get what you wanted, people got hurt? Good times.”
“I haven’t forgotten what Triple X did to me. And I haven’t forgotten that I want to change.”
“You beat up Diabolos, and suddenly you’re the old Blade? I haven’t seen you change at all. Not really. You just got a little aggression out on that freak,” scoffs the figure.
“Yeah. You haven’t seen me change. But maybe it’s already happened. Maybe there’s already something in play right now that is bigger than just me.” I say, truly believing the words that I’m saying.
“Another one of your causes? Christ. Your only cause used to be to become world champion.”
“Your goals change when you change.”
“Wasn’t that the whole point of bringing out that old Blade? That old fire? So you could take what you want, like you used to?”
“Look, I can't regress now. If you remember correctly, old Blade never got that World Title either, so I can’t depend on being that old version of myself. It didn’t work the first time, why would it work now? So I’m moving forward. But believe me… I have changed since a month ago. And when it all comes together… It’s going to be glorious.”
“I hope you know what you’re doing.”
“Me too.” I mutter.
Then, everything goes black.
-----------------------------------------------------
I walk through the halls of the arena hosting this week’s set of shows. There’s a strange atmosphere. Things are changing, but no one can quite but their finger on it.
As I walk past staff members, I feel like everyone is watching me. Maybe I’m being paranoid, but it feels like people are scared of me again. I kind of like it. It feels right.
I get to my locker room, and Becky Serra is there waiting for me.
“Hi.” She says with a hint of apprehension.
“Hey, Becky,” I reply, trying to sound as warm as possible. I owe her that much.
I open the locker room door and walk inside. I throw my back to the side and fall into the couch. I take a second to just enjoy being off my feet for a moment, before taking out a cigarette.
Becky stands in the doorway, letting me do what I have to do. I inhale that first drag, and the nicotine courses through my veins and right into my head. Things feel a little lighter.
Becky walks inside and sits down across from me.
“So, can I ask you about Diabolos?”
“You wouldn’t be very good at your job if you didn’t,” I grin back.
“What happened last week?” she asks, still sounding a little uncomfortable to be around me.
“I gave him what he deserved,” I respond, hearing the callousness in my tone.
“Was that what he deserved? To be attacked? You could’ve just requested a match with him and settled it in the ring. I mean, I'm not a fan of Diabolos or what he's done. But you shouldn't be dropping down to his level like that...
“He needed a taste of his own medicine, Becky. And I was more than happy to give it to him. And now, I’ll finish him off on Meltdown.”
I sit back and take a long drag. I watch as Becky shakes her head sadly. She can’t seem to look me in the eye since I broke down in front of her before Unscripted.
“I was hoping, after everything with Triple X, you wouldn’t get back into that frame of mind. I thought you’d be able to move on,” she sighs.
“Y'know, I thought that too. But then I lost. Something may have snapped in me before I fought X, but it wasn’t enough. So I’m wondering now, why should I care that I lost to X? Why should I care that I lose to anyone? Wins or losses don’t matter at this point. What matters right now is hurting Diabolos.” The coldness with which I say this is even starting to freak me out a little.
“Would you have attacked Diabolos if you hadn’t lost to X?”
I look into her eyes, irritated.
“What are you implying?” I think I know the answer already.
“I think you were scared. Scared of Triple X, and what he did to you. Scared that, after everything, you still couldn’t beat him. Scared about how he nearly ended your career. So you decided to attack Diabolos to make yourself feel a little more in control. So that you aren’t afraid anymore.”
“Why are you playing psychologist, Becky? The fact is, Diabolos injured my friend. He got Bob fired. He has ruined the life of someone I cared about, and now I’m going to make him pay for that. It’s not about me being scared, it’s not about whatever I feel after losing to Triple X. It’s about revenge. Plain and simple.” I finish abruptly. I’m starting to get angry, as the cigarette burns down. My fists are clenched, somewhat threateningly.
“You say that, but—“
I stand up, throwing the remnants of my cigarette down on the table. It causes a black burn in the table, from which some smoke rises, the odor of burning wood filling the room.
“You can think what you want, Becky. You can read into things that aren’t there. But I’m not scared. I’m not scared of anyone or anything. And right now, after what I did to Diabolos, people should be scared of me. And I’m going to show everyone why on Meltdown, when I get into the ring with that freak, and make him pay for what he’s done.”
I storm out. Becky stays sitting. She takes the cigarette butt off the table, putting it out in the ashtray. She sighs and gets up, following me out of the room.