I'm Composing A Suicide Note

[Coco]

Tell me why I should mention you. Those with the most compelling arguments make it in. Be sure to broach this situation as though there's a ceiling on the number of people I can mention in the note. As such, you should probably try to debunk arguments from others that might threaten your chances of making the cut before I make the cut.

 

[JGlass]

You should mention me because if you don't mention me then I'm going to write a suicide note and not mention you as revenge.

 

[Coco]

I don't want to give anything away, but your chances are looking pretty good atm.

 

[Sully]

Mention Milenko...it adds drama. Anything involving Milenko automatically adds drama.

 

[Nate DaMac]

I should be in there. I have to be one of the reasons your offing yourself.

 

[Барбоса]

I hear these things are a great way to get publicity

 

[latino World order]

I held back your hair when you were vomiting

 

[Johnny Scumm]

Mention me for being a cunt.

Or, because I was contemplating this, but you totally beat me to killing yourself.

 

[Coco]

Weak counter arguments, y'all.

 

[ScreaminNormanSmiley]

If you do not mention me I will take the cum dumpster that currently graces my sig away. Then you will have nothing to look at while you hang yourself. Of course I am assuming that you will be performing acts of auto-erotic asphyxiation during your death.

 

[The Crock]

What? Have I not sucked up to you enough?

 

[Coco]

No.

 

[The Crock]

 

[JGlass]

Mention Milenko...it adds drama. Anything involving Milenko automatically adds drama.

Milenko will get enough of a mention in his own, inevitable suicide note. He doesn't need another shout out in Coco's.

I should be in there. I have to be one of the reasons your offing yourself.

So he should reward you by mentioning you in his note? Get real.

I hear these things are a great way to get publicity

You know what's a better way to get publicity? Killing yourself.

I held back your hair when you were vomiting

I detected his rectal cancer. JGlass 1, lWo 0.

Mention me for being a cunt.

Or, because I was contemplating this, but you totally beat me to killing yourself.

You're lack of self-esteem is disturbing. Until you shape up I don't think anyone will mention you in anything.

Weak counter arguments, y'all.

How am I doing?

If you do not mention me I will take the cum dumpster that currently graces my sig away. Then you will have nothing to look at while you hang yourself. Of course I am assuming that you will be performing acts of auto-erotic asphyxiation during your death.

The cum dumpster in your sig is probably what is making him want to kill himself.

What? Have I not sucked up to you enough?

Or maybe too much?

 

[Coco]

How am I doing?

Comparatively speaking, you're in the top five.

 

[George Steele's Barber]

Just be sure to mention Matt Hardy killing himself was your influence. That way that dumb fuck can feel real guilt as opposed to the bullshit apology he posted today.

Who am I kidding? Matt Hardy would still be a clueless douche or feel important for influencing someone to kill themselves.

 

[ScreaminNormanSmiley]

The cum dumpster in your sig is probably what is making him want to kill himself.

Even though it may pain Coco to know he will never be able to get balls deep in her fat rolls I doubt that would be the reasoning. It still does more good than bad as the picture still brings beauty into his and everyone who views it's life. On the other hand your revenge game will not effect him at all as he will already be dead. A perfect ending like I would be offering him is far more important than lack of mention in a single suicide note that he won't even be around to witness.

 

[Coco]

SNS's logic is valid.

 

[Lee]

Mention Matt Hardy.

 

[Sully]

Make sure you blame your suicide on the ghost. And make a video, not a letter, It's a lot more effective.

 

[JGlass]

Even though it may pain Coco to know he will never be able to get balls deep in her fat rolls I doubt that would be the reasoning. It still does more good than bad as the picture still brings beauty into his and everyone who views it's life. On the other hand your revenge game will not effect him at all as he will already be dead. A perfect ending like I would be offering him is far more important than lack of mention in a single suicide note that he won't even be around to witness.

1) That picture brings nothing into anybody's life except feelings of nausea and wanting to kill yourself.

2) My revenge game is more complex than you give it credit for. Not only would I not mention him in my suicide note, but my suicide would find out how he killed himself, and then I'd outdo him, stealing his thunder, and people would completely forget about him and his death, and everyone would be focused on me.

Really, it's a simple price to pay. He mentions me in his suicide note, and his legacy lives forever. I'd even wear a t-shirt that says, "Here lies Coco, a free elf." But if he doesn't do me the simple favor of including me in his suicide note, I'll make sure nobody ever remembers his name ever again.

It's basically one extreme or another. Eternal glory or an endless void of existence.

 

[Coco]

Why would I care about being remembered? I'm going to be dead.

 

[Captain Morgan Freeman]

If you dont mention me i will change my name to coco after you have gone and tarnish your legacy.

 

[ScreaminNormanSmiley]

1) That picture brings nothing into anybody's life except feelings of nausea and wanting to kill yourself.

If we are going to talk about nauseating pictures, look no farther than this one.

Spoiler

A bunch of white assholes raising up their fists like a bunch of jiggaboos. Not exactly the type of people that I would want my last written words associated with.

2) My revenge game is more complex than you give it credit for. Not only would I not mention him in my suicide note, but my suicide would find out how he killed himself, and then I'd outdo him, stealing his thunder, and people would completely forget about him and his death, and everyone would be focused on me.

This would work well if anybody would actually be care if you died. Sadly there is no way that you would be able to take any focus off of the worlds mourning of the loss of Coco.

Really, it's a simple price to pay. He mentions me in his suicide note, and his legacy lives forever. I'd even wear a t-shirt that says, "Here lies Coco, a free elf." But if he doesn't do me the simple favor of including me in his suicide note, I'll make sure nobody ever remembers his name ever again.

Wearing one of your specially designed shirts would be a better threat towards him. For reference look at the picture again.

It's basically one extreme or another. Eternal glory or an endless void of existence.

Are you saying that people could possibly not remember Coco. I really don't think somebody who thinks so little of him deserves a spot in his note.

 

[shattered dreams]

If you do not mention me I will expedite the process.