Glass Ass: The OFFICIAL JGlass Thread

[Wicked Valentine]

No, all I nee to do is buy Wicked's mom a few glasses of wine, the gentleman's chloroform.

My mom no longer drinking anymore may put a damper on your plan there, stud

If I ever met you in real life, which I doubt will happen but for the sake of lulz let's say we did, I'd wonder if you'd still hold this opinion.

Maybe in a few years when I'm in my 20s and legally own a taser.

 

[ScreaminNormanSmiley]

My mom no longer drinking anymore may put a damper on your plan there, stud

Actually she just doesn't drink in front of you. She had a couple of martinis the other night while we were discussing your future.

 

[Wicked Valentine]

Actually she just doesn't drink in front of you. She had a couple of martinis the other night while we were discussing your future.

 

[JGlass]

Ah, I see you're making other CA friends, huh?

I thought I was special...

Son, Wicked's mother provides me something that you never could. You'll understand when you're older.

Good news, & bad news for ME fans. They're making a ME4, but it will not star Shepard.

http://www.ign.com/articles/2012/10/19/mass-effect-4-wont-star-shepherd-2

Nope, no bad news, this is just good news. The way the game ends for Shepard is perfect, having him star in a 4th game would be sac-religious. I'm just thrilled that they're making a 4th ME.

Maybe in a few years when I'm in my 20s and legally own a taser.

You wouldn't need a taser; I'm not Coco.

 

[Wicked Valentine]

You wouldn't need a taser; I'm not Coco.

Just mace then

 

[justinsayne]

So despite Paul Ryan being from WI, I think I have seen just as many Obama/Biden signs in peoples yards as I have Romney/Ryan signs, I found this to be a mildly interesting observation.

Oh & I got a new shirt today.

 

[JGlass]

So despite Paul Ryan being from WI, I think I have seen just as many Obama/Biden signs in peoples yards as I have Romney/Ryan signs, I found this to be a mildly interesting observation.

Oh & I got a new shirt today.

The election is getting kind of tight man. Romney pulled ahead of Obama in terms of electoral votes recently, but he'd be almost 70 votes short of the 270 necessary to win. He'd need to win a bunch of swing states that could "go either way." I'm still counting on Romney making an even bigger ass of himself as the election grows closer, and this is when Obama really blossomed last go round.

And congrats on your new shirt. Does it say anything hilarious or is it a plain shirt and this was your way of proving to us that your day wasn't a total waste?

Just kidding.

My day has been pretty wasteful. The highlight of it so far was probably sleeping until like, 2, and having a medium length text conversation with the Mighty One about Ryback. Other than that I've been alone in my room playing Madden and Saints Row 3. I'm going out tonight, hopefully that's a good time, though the potential for it to be awkward and/or boring is there. It's too bad I'm bored of my vidya games right now, otherwise I'd be all about staying in and doing nothing.

 

[The Crock]

I haven't done much either. Slept in, hit the gym, went out and got lunch, and now I'm just playing some 2K. I might go out tonight, but I'd rather just sit and hang out with some buddies.

 

[justinsayne]

And congrats on your new shirt. Does it say anything hilarious or is it a plain shirt and this was your way of proving to us that your day wasn't a total waste?

Just kidding.

It's a Harley shirt, we went to the Harley dealership so my mom can show me off to all her friends there, it's also fun looking at all the bikes, even though I have no interest in ever learning how to ride, much less buy one (as i I could afford it anyway).

My day has been pretty wasteful. The highlight of it so far was probably sleeping until like, 2, and having a medium length text conversation with the Mighty One about Ryback. Other than that I've been alone in my room playing Madden and Saints Row 3. I'm going out tonight, hopefully that's a good time, though the potential for it to be awkward and/or boring is there. It's too bad I'm bored of my vidya games right now, otherwise I'd be all about staying in and doing nothing.

We've been out & about all day, I was woken up this morning by my mom's two cats (I guess I can say I'm officially a "pussy magnet"), had some breakfast, & then fixed my mom's computer. We then went out, first stopping at my sisters so she could show off her new house, after that is off to the Harley place, where I spotted a sweet SOA zip up hoodie, I pointed out how it would be an awesome x-mas present, to my mom. After that we stop at some restaurant for lunch, I had a delicious Bacon Chedder burger, & talked to our cute waitress about the ass kicking UW laid on Minnesota today for a little bit. Then my mom somehow got lost on the way back to town, but when we finally got backk in town we hit up the grocery store so my mom could get what she needed for dinner (manicotti & garlic toast). Now I'm home, & missing my PS3.

Tomorrow I plan on going to an autoparts store & picking up break pads & rotors for my car, then my brother in law is gonna put them on for me Monday, so I have rear brakes on my way home. Then getting home in time to watch the Pack, no idea what we're doing after that, hopefully taking a nap.

Monday I'm getting breaks fixed, then we're going to the Mall to shop for my birthday present & to see Argo.

 

[Wicked Valentine]

My mom and I finally went to check out the local archery range. My mom forgot her bow, but not her arrows so I at least got to shoot twice as much. There's a archery club that owns the range and we talked to them about getting a membership. Nice place, with a big fire place, satellite TV, 2 Foosball tables, and a kitchen open for use to all members.

Really cool people too. It's directly adjacent to a Space and Science Center which is cool and all but it took forever to find the place since you had to find a small track near the parking lot of the center.

 

[nightmare]

Spoiler

It's a Harley shirt, we went to the Harley dealership so my mom can show me off to all her friends there, it's also fun looking at all the bikes, even though I have no interest in ever learning how to ride, much less buy one (as i I could afford it anyway).



We've been out & about all day, I was woken up this morning by my mom's two cats (I guess I can say I'm officially a "pussy magnet"), had some breakfast, & then fixed my mom's computer. We then went out, first stopping at my sisters so she could show off her new house, after that is off to the Harley place, where I spotted a sweet SOA zip up hoodie, I pointed out how it would be an awesome x-mas present, to my mom. After that we stop at some restaurant for lunch, I had a delicious Bacon Chedder burger, & talked to our cute waitress about the ass kicking UW laid on Minnesota today for a little bit. Then my mom somehow got lost on the way back to town, but when we finally got backk in town we hit up the grocery store so my mom could get what she needed for dinner (manicotti & garlic toast). Now I'm home, & missing my PS3.

Tomorrow I plan on going to an autoparts store & picking up break pads & rotors for my car, then my brother in law is gonna put them on for me Monday, so I have rear brakes on my way home. Then getting home in time to watch the Pack, no idea what we're doing after that, hopefully taking a nap.

Monday I'm getting breaks fixed, then we're going to the Mall to shop for my birthday present & to see Argo.

That was way too many words. "Had alot of shit to do today" could have sufficed.... jeez.


You should have gotten that SOA hoodie. You could have pretended to be Jax and go avenge the death of Opie. That would have been a much more productive day.

My mom and I finally went to check out the local archery range. My mom forgot her bow, but not her arrows so I at least got to shoot twice as much.

How the hell do you walk out of the house, on the way to the archery range, arrows in hand- and forget a bow? Im sorry but your mom would make a terrible elf. What was her plan, play a game of really big darts?


I do hope JGlass takes her out for a nice steak dinner though. Thats classy. Hell, he is even the type that might call her afterwards.

 

[Theo Mays]

Headaches that keep you awake are one of my least favorite things. Especially when I have to be up by 7 to work.

 

[Wicked Valentine]

How the hell do you walk out of the house, on the way to the archery range, arrows in hand- and forget a bow? Im sorry but your mom would make a terrible elf. What was her plan, play a game of really big darts?

That is literally what i said, except for the elf and darts part. She could not provide a viable answer for me.

I do hope JGlass takes her out for a nice steak dinner though. Thats classy. Hell, he is even the type that might call her afterwards.

From my observations she will enjoy any date as long as the conversation isn't dull or boring. My family loves to laugh and joke so if the chatting is bland she wont be into it. Happened with the last dude she went out with.

Nice guy. Gave me the first season of Bones on DVD. But didn't really have a sense of humor

 

[nightmare]

Nice guy. Gave me the first season of Bones on DVD. But didn't really have a sense of humor

Was he having sex with your mom? Cuz if he was, that particular DVD choice was quite amusing given the circumstances. You got a DVD and she got the real thing. It is actually pretty funny now that you think about it. Subtle humor, but humor nonetheless.


Could you imagine if people gave gifts based on innuendo or foreshadowing? Like if you went to the Animal Shelter and they were handing out copies of Old Yeller. Or if you were dating a chick and she gave you a copy of '100 ways to love a cat'.

 

[JGlass]

Went out to a bar with two of my lady friends. It was delightful. I got classy drinks like a Manhattan and a Tom Collins. I don't know who Tom Collins is, but I bet you he's a class act. Then I went to a party that kinda sucked. I had a pretty good time, but it got busted up and we all had to leave. I'm too old for that shit man; that's the type of shit that should happen when you're underage drinking. I've been home for a few hours now. Kinda lame, but oh well, whatcha gonna do? Overall it was a pretty decent night, though not what I was hoping for.

My mom and I finally went to check out the local archery range. My mom forgot her bow, but not her arrows so I at least got to shoot twice as much. There's a archery club that owns the range and we talked to them about getting a membership. Nice place, with a big fire place, satellite TV, 2 Foosball tables, and a kitchen open for use to all members.

Really cool people too. It's directly adjacent to a Space and Science Center which is cool and all but it took forever to find the place since you had to find a small track near the parking lot of the center.

You white people do craaaaazy shit, man.

Headaches that keep you awake are one of my least favorite things. Especially when I have to be up by 7 to work.

Getting your dick bitten during a blowjob is one of my least favorite things.

From my observations she will enjoy any date as long as the conversation isn't dull or boring. My family loves to laugh and joke so if the chatting is bland she wont be into it. Happened with the last dude she went out with.

Dude, I'm so perfect for your mom; I'm a RIOT!

 

[nightmare]

Went out to a bar with two of my lady friends. It was delightful. I got classy drinks like a Manhattan and a Tom Collins. I don't know who Tom Collins is, but I bet you he's a class act. Then I went to a party that kinda sucked. I had a pretty good time, but it got busted up and we all had to leave. I'm too old for that shit man; that's the type of shit that should happen when you're underage drinking. I've been home for a few hours now. Kinda lame, but oh well, whatcha gonna do? Overall it was a pretty decent night, though not what I was hoping for.

Sounds like part of my evening. Well, the first part anyway. Got drunk at the bar with friends and played some pool. Then we left and got bored. Decided to prank the new CD\DVD place down the street. Its their grand opening and they have spotlights outside. So naturally I thought of the Bat Signal. My buddy had other plans. So now they have one Bat Signal and one with a *****. 2 very different things now illuminated across the sky.

 

[JGlass]

Sounds like part of my evening. Well, the first part anyway. Got drunk at the bar with friends and played some pool. Then we left and got bored. Decided to prank the new CD\DVD place down the street. Its their grand opening and they have spotlights outside. So naturally I thought of the Bat Signal. My buddy had other plans. So now they have one Bat Signal and one with a *****. 2 very different things now illuminated across the sky.

I forget how or why it started, but when the cops started busting up the party I was out on the porch with some friends and therefore off the cop's radar but able to witness just about everything going on, and for some reason all the guys started doing Batman voices, and it was awesome.

 

[Richard Blonoff]

Tom Collins isn't a real guy. The drink is named after Jerry Thomas(Tom), the bartender who first wrote down the recipe, and the Collins glass that it is served in. Personally I prefer Comrade Collins.

 

[justinsayne]

You should have gotten that SOA hoodie. You could have pretended to be Jax and go avenge the death of Opie. That would have been a much more productive day.

I'm getting it for X-Mas. I could not have made it more clear how much I want it, told her I'd rather have that than a new PS3 game for fuck sake.

Headaches that keep you awake are one of my least favorite things. Especially when I have to be up by 7 to work.

You know they make stuff to get rid of headaches right? I use the migraine strength stuff, works like a fucking charm

Nice guy. Gave me the first season of Bones on DVD. But didn't really have a sense of humor

He gave you a Bones DVD, I'd say he's got a pretty good sense of humor.

Dude, I'm so perfect for your mom; I'm a RIOT!

You're like the Vancouver of Jews

 

[Little Jerry Lawler]

Dear Theo,

It's almost time for me and you to do battle. I wish you the best of luck in today's matchup and don't feel bad that Vernon Davis gave you nothing because he gave me nothing as well in my Yahoo league. We are the two titans of Glass Asses. We're the cream of the crop. Everyone else is trying to get to our level. I decided to take a risk and bench Wes Welker and acquire Nate Burleson. It may or may not pay off but I couldn't live with myself if I didn't try. Let's deliver an instant classic.

Sincerely,
Chris (Muffin Stumps)

 

[Wicked Valentine]

Was he having sex with your mom? Cuz if he was, that particular DVD choice was quite amusing given the circumstances. You got a DVD and she got the real thing. It is actually pretty funny now that you think about it. Subtle humor, but humor nonetheless.

They only went on one date. How the hell am I supposed to know if they had sex? She'll tell me what kind of guy she's into and what they did on the date but she'd never tell me if she went all the way with the dude, and for that i am fucking thankful.

JGlass, if someday you go out with my mom, for the love of God don't ever tell me that you guys are having sex. I stand by the philosophy that ignorance is bliss.

You white people do craaaaazy shit, man.

That reminds me: Fun fact, the last guy my mom dated (the dude who got me the DVD) was the first white guy my mom ever went out with. My bro is half Puerto Rican and I'm half Peruvian.

 

[justinsayne]

I benched Flacco for Freeman, & Bradshaw for F. Jackson, I'm hoping these moves don't come back to bite me in the ass, both were made strictly based on match-ups. Bradshaw is starting in my other two leagues.

 

[JGlass]

JGlass, if someday you go out with my mom, for the love of God don't ever tell me that you guys are having sex. I stand by the philosophy that ignorance is bliss.

Tell you? I'll show you!

That reminds me: Fun fact, the last guy my mom dated (the dude who got me the DVD) was the first white guy my mom ever went out with. My bro is half Puerto Rican and I'm half Peruvian.

I think Latino counts as white, racially at least, though perhaps not culturally.

 

[Wicked Valentine]

Tell you? I'll show you!

I'm honestly frightened by what this could mean

I think Latino counts as white, racially at least, though perhaps not culturally.

How does Latino count as white!?

 

[justinsayne]

Latino counts as Latino, How the fuck would it ever count as white?