Glass Ass: The OFFICIAL JGlass Thread

[JGlass]

So I'm going to a Dark Star Orchestra concert tonight, and so far everything is very much feeling like it could be a disaster. My friend that was supposed to drive couldn't make the trip up from NJ, and the other guy has a car here, but for some reason he can't drive it because of a parking issue. Therefore, I have to get a Zipcar and drive to Lowell and back. My major gripe with this is that I really wanted to get smoke at the concert (I mean, it's a Grateful Dead cover band, it's required by law to get high), but now I'm going to have to take it easy since I'll have to drive back. On top of that, I couldn't find anyone else who was able to/wanted to go to this show, so I have an extra ticket and I'll be third wheeling it as the other two people going are a couple.

Then again, this could turn into a fine night. I've had potential train wrecks turn into good times before, and it could happen again.

 

[Барбоса]

I'm sure you'll manage, JGlassy.

It sounds a lot more exciting that the night I have planned anyways

 

[Richard Blonoff]

Ugh, I hate shit like that. "This is how X could kill everyone in the world under fantastic circumstances." What is Reed Richards even doing with a bomb? Deadpool would never have the know how to do any of that shit. It's pandering to Deadpool fans, which I'm obviously one of given my WZCW character and all, but it really just sounds like it's written by Deadpool fanboys that want to prove that their favorite character is the most powerful character in the Marvel Universe!

It was a 4 issue non cannon mini series. I tried not to put much stock into it outside of entertainment value.

 

[JGlass]

Well, the evening was about as difficult as I expected it to be (including getting my Zipcar reservation changed to a place where I couldn't find the Zipcar, and then the concert letting out so late that the Zipcar wouldn't start because it was passed the time I was supposed to return it). The concert was fantastic, but it was SO long. I love that music, but just like professional wrestling, there's no reason to have a show that lasts over three hours.

I came home to an apartment full of drunk people including, oddly enough, my university's student body president. This isn't too odd since he's a good acquaintance of mine and we run in similar circles. What is weird is that none of my friends were here, and he seemed to be getting drunk with my roommates and their friends, all of whom are minors.

They were fairly amusing, but then one puked all over our floor. Our carpeted floor. I can hear her puking in the bathroom right now. Not cool...

 

[Richard Blonoff]

Just run in and stick it in her butt.

I'm not good with women.

 

[JGlass]

Just run in and stick it in her butt.

I'm not good with women.

Not my type, but in five or ten minutes she might be. Totally unconscious chicks are my type.

 

[Richard Blonoff]

Not my type, but in five or ten minutes she might be. Totally unconscious chicks are my type.

That sir is why you my *****.

 

[JGlass]

There have now been three different pukers in my apartment, and two of them are currently occupying both of our toilets... one of which is broken. Our apartment is officially gross. Thank goodness I'm out of here in three days.

 

[Richard Blonoff]

My drunk person story is way better. My friend and I were sitting and trying to talk, so he leans across the table and on the way back to his seat his spilled his drink all over himself.

I can honestly say I have never been so drunk I puked. Though once I did get high and ate so much Taco Bell I threw up.

 

[The Crock]

Not my type, but in five or ten minutes she might be. Totally unconscious chicks are my type.

This might be the funniest thing I've read on here in the last -- I don't know -- year, or something.

 

[nightmare]

Just run in and stick it in her butt.

I'm not good with women.

You must spread some rep around before giving it to this user again.

There have now been three different pukers in my apartment, and two of them are currently occupying both of our toilets... one of which is broken. Our apartment is officially gross. Thank goodness I'm out of here in three days.

Lock the door, put some cleaning supplies outside said door & dont let them leave or do anything unless they clean that shit up. Party rule 82 states you must assist the host in cleaning your fucking mess if you stay the night. Especially if vomit is involved.



That Zipcar mess sounds like a hassle. How did u get back if it wouldnt start bc of the cut off time?



-------

BTW, I dont know if any of you brave souls have had this done, but getting a BJ while your chick is eating Pop Rocks is one of the strangest, yet most enjoyable things in recent memory.

Maybe it was just because I was super-duper high, but damn- what a night.

 

[Coco]

I often like to imagine Dagger is autistic.

People try to make speeding out to not be such a big deal, but in some cases it really can be. The speed limits are set for a reason. That reason being so that the traffic in that area will be safer. This is why the speed limits can be as high as 70+ on freeways but tend to be 40 or lower in areas full of pedestrian activity.

 

[Tastycles]

Do people normally give gifts at Hanukkah?

 

[JGlass]

Lock the door, put some cleaning supplies outside said door & dont let them leave or do anything unless they clean that shit up. Party rule 82 states you must assist the host in cleaning your fucking mess if you stay the night. Especially if vomit is involved.

One of my roommates sprung into Super Mom mode and started cleaning up after everyone's mess like it was his job. I took a leak in the bathroom this morning and it was pretty damn clean, so I'm wondering if he took care of it. Apparently someone slept on the floor in there last night...

That Zipcar mess sounds like a hassle. How did u get back if it wouldnt start bc of the cut off time?

I called their headquarters and extended my reservation. I have no idea how their system works, but apparently all she had to do was put my reservation into the computer and the car could magically start again.

BTW, I dont know if any of you brave souls have had this done, but getting a BJ while your chick is eating Pop Rocks is one of the strangest, yet most enjoyable things in recent memory.

Maybe it was just because I was super-duper high, but damn- what a night.

I don't even know how one would propose that...

I often like to imagine Dagger is autistic.

One day I think it would be nice if we could have a moderator that understands the use of commas. Alas, I dream.

Do people normally give gifts at Hanukkah?

Yes, though this is a relatively modern development. At some point in the 20th century Jewish children felt all left out that their Christian friends were getting presents in December and they were not, so the Jews decided to start exchanging gifts over Hanukkah as well.

Tastycles in the Glass Ass? Spit take!

 

[Uncle Sam]

Knowing Tasty, he's either trying to seduce a Jewish woman or making an effort to increase his quiz prowess. Or both.

 

[JGlass]

Sounds like the former. If that's the case, he needs to think about which night he gives her the present. First night could make him seem eager, the last night looks like he forgot and got a gift at the last minute.

I'm joking of course. As far as I know none of the nights have any sort of gift associations with them like anniversaries and what not.

 

[Tastycles]

Long time listener, first time caller. Part of my return to being a properly active poster.

But also Sam is right.

The eponymous character in the tale "Tastycles texts Sam and Lee for advice from girl's bedroom" is Jewish, which isn't exactly something you come across when you grow up in Wales.

 

[JGlass]

Jewish women in the states have a bit of a connotation: naggy and high-maintenance, but firecrackers in the sack. I really don't think that stereotype is accurate since I have befriended many fine Jewish women that are perfectly lovely people, but I've never had sex with a Jewish girl so I can't really comment on their bedroom prowess.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Are Jews the ones with the funny hats?

 

[Барбоса]

Are Jews the ones with the funny hats?

 

[Uncle Sam]

Is that a screenshot from Lawrence of Arabia?

 

[Барбоса]

Yes, he is staring at Omar Sharif emerging from the heat haze. Tommy Cooper was the original choice for Lawrence

 

[Coco]

Omar comin'!

 

[Uncle Sam]

Genuinely laughed.

 

[Барбоса]

Omar comin'!

Just like that