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Friends with benefits

I have tons of lady friends that I don't want to have sex with.They fact that they are all married with kids helps too :D
 
WHAT WHAT WHAAAAAAAAAA? Dude, having a child is a big fucking deal (emphasis on the fucking). Do you really think impregnating women is a small issue? What in the hell is going on with you man.

And you broke it off because you were TOO CLOSE? I can't for the life of me understand how being too close to someone is a breakup-worthy offense.

You're a fucking moron. Obviously I was joking simpleton. Yes I'm having a kid with the chick, and it is a big fucking deal, I was making light of the situation.

And yes, I broke it off because I was getting attached, and it was a predisclosed condition that we would not allow that to happen because she is still trying to get back with her ex. I was just a dick for her, and I was ok with that. The kid is an unfortunate byproduct of the situation, but I am now looking forward to it.

Don't quote me anymore cuntsicle.
 
I always viewed friends with benefits as code for "let's start having sex at random before we start a relationship". Usually doesn't end well.
 
I always viewed friends with benefits as code for "let's start having sex at random before we start a relationship". Usually doesn't end well.

I've always viewed friends w/ benefits as..

Look, I don't mind fucking you since I have no one/nothing better to do. But when someone better comes along, I don't wanna go through some awkward break-up that has me needing to explain to you why I don't wanna do it anymore.
 

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