Football fans!!! I have questions *not american football*

[Uncle Phatso]

K, so today I was flipping through the channels. Not shit on, I happen to see a champion league match. I got about 45 minutes of it, but I'm confused. I found it rather enjoyable and relaxing. I also have a fucking channel just dedicated to it, I get matches from the champion, premier, Italian, and Asian leagues. But I have no clue what the rules are, I know you can't use your hands, and you can tie. That’s about it, anyone wanna give me a crash course on it? Like it goes 90 minutes right? But what the hell is this like 3 extra minutes they get? What are the names of the positions, how does league scoring work, just basically tell me what I need to know so I'm not so confused.

 

[Pepe Silvia]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Association_football_positions

The image on the right is the greatest thing ever

The three minutes were stoppage/injury time, added on to the end to replace the time lost for stoppages in the time, since the clock never stops

 

[Alastor]

Game last 90mins, two halves of 45mins. A few minutes are added to the end of each half for stoppages, but usually barely cover the time the ball is out of play. Yes, that means the clock is continuous, unlike most American sports where the clock stops when the ball is not in play.

In most leagues, a win= 3 points to the winning team. A tie = 1 point to each team. A loss = no points gained. Whoever has the most points at the end wins the championship. If at the end of the league season if 2 or more teams are leveled on points there are different tiebreakers used in different leagues. Some use goal difference (difference between goals scored and conceded), some let the teams play rubber match to decide who finish higher, while some use head to head records to decide.
In cup ties, sometimes if the game ends in a tie, 30mins of extra time are added and if there is still no winner, a penalty shootout occur. Each team will take 5 spot kicks and whoever scores more wins. Sudden death rule apply if both teams are still tied after 5 attempts.

The basic positions: Goalkeepers are allowed to use hands and the main duty is to stop opponents from scoring. Defenders primary prevent the other teams to score. Strikers main job is to score. Midfielder do everything. More detailed roles for the positions can be found from the wiki link above. When most discusses formations of teams eg. 4-4-2 they mean 4 defenders, 4 midfielders and 2 strikers.