FromTheSouth
You don't want it with me.
There are sixty seven threads (approximately) about what the IWC thinks about everything, and I disagree with most of them. I don't think I am fit to be a member of the Internet Wrestling Community anymore. I'd throw away my card, but I don't think I was ever really a card carrying member.
First of all, I still, and will always mark out for Kane. I know that he doesn't do a shooting star press or a flying tiger space drop, but I'm OK with that. The man moves better than men that weight 60 pounds less than him. He is never injured, works well with everyone, works well in every position on the card, and is capable of carrying super heavyweights in matches. He made Mark Henry look serviceable as a wrestler in ECW, and then months later was the glue that held Money in the Bank together. He looks like a legit tough guy, emphasizes his athleticism, but knows his limits and never tries to go too far. He used power moves to make a point, but has remarkable agility for a man his size, and uses it to set up his offense, or transition to different "chapters" of the story that he tells very well in the ring.
I do not care about cruiserweight wrestling. I find the matches semi entertaining. Don't get me wrong. I just don't think it should be featured. In WCW, the cruisers came out, first match, and got the crowd excited for the rest of the night. I would love this. Put Rey vs. Evan Bourne vs Jamie Noble vs. Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Brian Kendrick, or any combination thereof on first. Give them 12 minutes, and let them do some gymnastics. That's great. Those epileptic monkeys can do amazing things. The problem is the match has no continuity and looks like a gymnastics training session with five or six people doing some flips in the corners without every really putting it together. The matches require so much set up. For Evan Blande to do his Shooting Star Press, the guy usually has to roll over six or seven feet to get into position. In all honesty, if I have to see someone stumble halfway across the ring to get in position for a 619, I may very well vomit on myself. I understand that the little guys get a pop, but I have never taken them seriously. That being said, I am a Jeff Hardy fan, because his story is compelling. He can do everyone of the moves Rey does, but he doesn't make me want to change the channel because he is a compelling character, and has been for a decade.
I think HBK is overrated. Once again, don't get me wrong here. I respect him very much. I think his recent devotion to putting people over and passing the torch is commendable. I think he has had his share of great matches. But the talk of his being Mr. Wrestlemania is stupid. The Undertaker is Mr. Wrestlemania. HBK is overrated on the mic. Not stumbling over your words is one thing, but he doesn't say anything or consequence. Blah Blah, I'm the showstopper. Bla Blah, you're going to beat my ass for 30 minutes, then I'm going to kick you and win. Blah Blah. HHH carried him on the mic for DX's entire run. He is good enough on the mic, but nothing seriously great. He has a smile that lights up a room, but a voice that puts it to sleep. Seriously, he is a smarmy Edge-type heel that gets cheered for his body of work and dedication to the business. He is no long edgy, and really only was edgy for like six months in 1997. While everyone wants to talk about his great matches, look at who they were with, Stone Cold, Bret Hart, Undertaker, Stone Cold. Is it coincidence that the guys HBK had his best matches with were the guys who were regarded as the best workers of their time? HBK has illustrated an unmatched capacity to be carried and let his charisma get him by.
I do not hate Batista, John Cena, Hulk Hogan, Warrior, Scott Steiner, or any of the other body builder types. Maybe it's because I have my own muscles unlike most of the IWC. I think that these guys have a very important role AT THE TOP of whatever show they're on. Batista throws people to the ground because that's what people with 4% body fat that weigh 300 pounds do. John Cena and Hulk Hogan pander to kids because they look like comic book characters and kids read comic books. Sorry that their body mass keep them from flying off the top rope and doing two flips and a no handed cartwheel onto their opponent. They do what makes sense for them to do, and they do it well, and they are the stars of the show because this is what regular fans, like me, want to see. Sorry guys, if you want to see Evan Blande go over these guys and become the star he deserves to be, but if he won, wouldn't those of you in the IWC bitch about how bad the writing was to have that small of a guy go over and there would be twenty posts about how Cena should have lost the belt to Edge first, and then Edge to Jeff, Jeff to Jericho, and then Jericho to Bourne. This way it would make kayfabe sense.
I hate spoilers. I do not have a compulsive need to know what happened on SD! Tuesday night at 11:01. I like to watch the show. I don't need to read the spoilers to see if it looks like a good show. I watch the show because I like wrestling. Also, in this paragraph I would like to note that I usually watch DVR delayed shows because instead of sitting her jacking off to the opening theme song, I am out, with girls, and booze.
I know nothing about Japanese wrestling. If you watch every Puroseau match made every week, good for you. I wish I had that much dedication. I, honestly, care more about the story than the match. Weird to see typed on an internet forum? Well, I know it is a TV show, and I like the TV show aspects over the sports aspects. That is not to say I don't love a great match, but part of what makes a match great to me is the build up. It is very rare that a match with no build up captures my attention. Jeff Hardy vs. HBK (funny here) from Raw in January of '08 is one of these matches. It was just great. Bad matches do more to separate me from a guy's fan club more than good ones do endear me. CM Punk came into the WWE with all the internet support in the world, but I saw him as sloppy. It took me quite some time to get over this impression, and part of what did it was during and after his title run, I enjoyed how much of a smart ass he was. He is funny. His dialogue made me more interested in his matches, and now I am quite impressed.
I still mark out. Sorry guys, I am not cynical enough to be an IWC member. When CM Punk cashed in, I screeched like a girl. When Hornswoggle was announced as Vince's son, I laughed. I hoop and holler everytime Ricky Steamboat is on TV. When Edge went crazy on Mick Foley as part of Mick's last WWE moment, I stared at the TV, not critiquing the beatdown, but appreciating Edge's moment of aggression. I like swerves.
I think Santino is an ass clown. Sometimes, he makes me laugh. Most of the time he reminds me that I need to piss. I am tired of his act.
I hate the brandsplit. I know, I know, the midcard will get buried. And this is bad why? Less suicide dives per hour? Fuck it. The guys on the top of the card sell the tickets, the merchandise, and the PPV's. End the brandsplit, make the top guys who aren't involved in the title hunt into the midcard. Then take the midcarders that are worth a shit, (Miz, Morrison, Kofi) and make them jerk the curtain. Then take Santino, Jamie Noble, Kendrick, Wang, and Mysterio, and job them out to the worthwhile guys on the roster. If we end the split, there will be less Chavo? Oh no, what ever will we do?
I am a Miz fan. You can see how hard the guy has worked to improve. He has to know how down on him people are, and yet, all he does is get better every week, give top five promos, and generate more heel heat than Priceless could ever dream of. Give me a fucking break, I have a problem with the people who hate on him. If everyone gave as much effort as he did, the show would be better off. He actually makes creative look like they have the ability to write wrestling shows. Then Rey Mysterio kills that thought.
JR is not God on the mic. He doesn't know what half the moves are called. Michael Cole does. JR marks out for his favorites. That is my job. His is to call the fucking match, and tell us when the heels are being heelish. Matt Stryker is the best announcer they have. He knows the moves, the history, and respects the fans.
In conclusion, kick me out of the IWC. This fictional wonderland of cynicism smoothies, hate on a stick, and stuffed egos makes me sick. I will continue to post here, and maybe my contrarian views will spice up all the Batista hate fests. Maybe I can contribute the insight of the average fan. I am not, never was, and never want to be, a smark. I am a fan. I happen to be an informed fan, but a fan nonetheless. So next time Matt Hardy turns, and you all say you saw it coming, I will be sitting there slack jawed, wondering how he could do that to his own brother.
Have a slobberknocking day.
First of all, I still, and will always mark out for Kane. I know that he doesn't do a shooting star press or a flying tiger space drop, but I'm OK with that. The man moves better than men that weight 60 pounds less than him. He is never injured, works well with everyone, works well in every position on the card, and is capable of carrying super heavyweights in matches. He made Mark Henry look serviceable as a wrestler in ECW, and then months later was the glue that held Money in the Bank together. He looks like a legit tough guy, emphasizes his athleticism, but knows his limits and never tries to go too far. He used power moves to make a point, but has remarkable agility for a man his size, and uses it to set up his offense, or transition to different "chapters" of the story that he tells very well in the ring.
I do not care about cruiserweight wrestling. I find the matches semi entertaining. Don't get me wrong. I just don't think it should be featured. In WCW, the cruisers came out, first match, and got the crowd excited for the rest of the night. I would love this. Put Rey vs. Evan Bourne vs Jamie Noble vs. Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Brian Kendrick, or any combination thereof on first. Give them 12 minutes, and let them do some gymnastics. That's great. Those epileptic monkeys can do amazing things. The problem is the match has no continuity and looks like a gymnastics training session with five or six people doing some flips in the corners without every really putting it together. The matches require so much set up. For Evan Blande to do his Shooting Star Press, the guy usually has to roll over six or seven feet to get into position. In all honesty, if I have to see someone stumble halfway across the ring to get in position for a 619, I may very well vomit on myself. I understand that the little guys get a pop, but I have never taken them seriously. That being said, I am a Jeff Hardy fan, because his story is compelling. He can do everyone of the moves Rey does, but he doesn't make me want to change the channel because he is a compelling character, and has been for a decade.
I think HBK is overrated. Once again, don't get me wrong here. I respect him very much. I think his recent devotion to putting people over and passing the torch is commendable. I think he has had his share of great matches. But the talk of his being Mr. Wrestlemania is stupid. The Undertaker is Mr. Wrestlemania. HBK is overrated on the mic. Not stumbling over your words is one thing, but he doesn't say anything or consequence. Blah Blah, I'm the showstopper. Bla Blah, you're going to beat my ass for 30 minutes, then I'm going to kick you and win. Blah Blah. HHH carried him on the mic for DX's entire run. He is good enough on the mic, but nothing seriously great. He has a smile that lights up a room, but a voice that puts it to sleep. Seriously, he is a smarmy Edge-type heel that gets cheered for his body of work and dedication to the business. He is no long edgy, and really only was edgy for like six months in 1997. While everyone wants to talk about his great matches, look at who they were with, Stone Cold, Bret Hart, Undertaker, Stone Cold. Is it coincidence that the guys HBK had his best matches with were the guys who were regarded as the best workers of their time? HBK has illustrated an unmatched capacity to be carried and let his charisma get him by.
I do not hate Batista, John Cena, Hulk Hogan, Warrior, Scott Steiner, or any of the other body builder types. Maybe it's because I have my own muscles unlike most of the IWC. I think that these guys have a very important role AT THE TOP of whatever show they're on. Batista throws people to the ground because that's what people with 4% body fat that weigh 300 pounds do. John Cena and Hulk Hogan pander to kids because they look like comic book characters and kids read comic books. Sorry that their body mass keep them from flying off the top rope and doing two flips and a no handed cartwheel onto their opponent. They do what makes sense for them to do, and they do it well, and they are the stars of the show because this is what regular fans, like me, want to see. Sorry guys, if you want to see Evan Blande go over these guys and become the star he deserves to be, but if he won, wouldn't those of you in the IWC bitch about how bad the writing was to have that small of a guy go over and there would be twenty posts about how Cena should have lost the belt to Edge first, and then Edge to Jeff, Jeff to Jericho, and then Jericho to Bourne. This way it would make kayfabe sense.
I hate spoilers. I do not have a compulsive need to know what happened on SD! Tuesday night at 11:01. I like to watch the show. I don't need to read the spoilers to see if it looks like a good show. I watch the show because I like wrestling. Also, in this paragraph I would like to note that I usually watch DVR delayed shows because instead of sitting her jacking off to the opening theme song, I am out, with girls, and booze.
I know nothing about Japanese wrestling. If you watch every Puroseau match made every week, good for you. I wish I had that much dedication. I, honestly, care more about the story than the match. Weird to see typed on an internet forum? Well, I know it is a TV show, and I like the TV show aspects over the sports aspects. That is not to say I don't love a great match, but part of what makes a match great to me is the build up. It is very rare that a match with no build up captures my attention. Jeff Hardy vs. HBK (funny here) from Raw in January of '08 is one of these matches. It was just great. Bad matches do more to separate me from a guy's fan club more than good ones do endear me. CM Punk came into the WWE with all the internet support in the world, but I saw him as sloppy. It took me quite some time to get over this impression, and part of what did it was during and after his title run, I enjoyed how much of a smart ass he was. He is funny. His dialogue made me more interested in his matches, and now I am quite impressed.
I still mark out. Sorry guys, I am not cynical enough to be an IWC member. When CM Punk cashed in, I screeched like a girl. When Hornswoggle was announced as Vince's son, I laughed. I hoop and holler everytime Ricky Steamboat is on TV. When Edge went crazy on Mick Foley as part of Mick's last WWE moment, I stared at the TV, not critiquing the beatdown, but appreciating Edge's moment of aggression. I like swerves.
I think Santino is an ass clown. Sometimes, he makes me laugh. Most of the time he reminds me that I need to piss. I am tired of his act.
I hate the brandsplit. I know, I know, the midcard will get buried. And this is bad why? Less suicide dives per hour? Fuck it. The guys on the top of the card sell the tickets, the merchandise, and the PPV's. End the brandsplit, make the top guys who aren't involved in the title hunt into the midcard. Then take the midcarders that are worth a shit, (Miz, Morrison, Kofi) and make them jerk the curtain. Then take Santino, Jamie Noble, Kendrick, Wang, and Mysterio, and job them out to the worthwhile guys on the roster. If we end the split, there will be less Chavo? Oh no, what ever will we do?
I am a Miz fan. You can see how hard the guy has worked to improve. He has to know how down on him people are, and yet, all he does is get better every week, give top five promos, and generate more heel heat than Priceless could ever dream of. Give me a fucking break, I have a problem with the people who hate on him. If everyone gave as much effort as he did, the show would be better off. He actually makes creative look like they have the ability to write wrestling shows. Then Rey Mysterio kills that thought.
JR is not God on the mic. He doesn't know what half the moves are called. Michael Cole does. JR marks out for his favorites. That is my job. His is to call the fucking match, and tell us when the heels are being heelish. Matt Stryker is the best announcer they have. He knows the moves, the history, and respects the fans.
In conclusion, kick me out of the IWC. This fictional wonderland of cynicism smoothies, hate on a stick, and stuffed egos makes me sick. I will continue to post here, and maybe my contrarian views will spice up all the Batista hate fests. Maybe I can contribute the insight of the average fan. I am not, never was, and never want to be, a smark. I am a fan. I happen to be an informed fan, but a fan nonetheless. So next time Matt Hardy turns, and you all say you saw it coming, I will be sitting there slack jawed, wondering how he could do that to his own brother.
Have a slobberknocking day.