Do you hate anyone?

[Tastycles]

Without getting to bogged down in the minutae of my personal life, I have recently found that the answer to this question is yes for the first time ever. It's actually quite consuming, and makes me feel bitter and angry whenever I see the person in question. I would rather be completely indifferent to them, but I can't.

Through speaking to my friends, its sort of struck me that most people haven't ever truly hated someone - don't get me wrong, everyone dislikes bellends - but I'm talking about an actual simmering emotion that exists in the absence of the other person.

So my question is, have you ever hated another person, and did you find it as unpleasant as I do?

 

[Akhilleus]

Like I said in one of my recent posts in this section, I'm a really easy going guy. I've had some bad things happen in my past that sort of hardened me on the outside. So the result? It takes a lot to get to me emotionally. Most things people do to me just bounce right off. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but none the less I'm not the type of person that holds a lot of personal hate. There have been a few people that are legally considered my family, and at one time I would have said that I truly hated them. Yet instead of ruining myself by holding that hatred, I simply wrote them off and moved on. It doesn't help you any by holding hatred, in fact it's only keeping you back.

I am nice and friendly with everyone on the condition that they are the same with my. My personal policy is that if you like me, I like you. However there was one kid I from High School years ago that I absolutely couldn't stand. He was one of those dirty lowlifes that I'm fairly sure beat his girlfriend I was shocked he had. The kid actually wanted to fight me, but I told him that wasn't going to happen. The next year I just took classes away from him. Yet I still wouldn't say I "hated" him, because those types of people really aren't worth hating. Like I said, holding hatred for someone is only hurting you in the long run.

So even the worst types of people...to me they're not worth wasting any sort of energy wrong. Even hating them is giving them too much of my time. I'd rather write them off and not give them any sort of attention.

 

[klunderbunker]

I think I did at some points earlier in my life but I've reached the point where it seems like a waste of time to put that much effort into them. I'm certainly not fond of them and want absolutely nothing to do with them, but hatred to me implies that you can't get your anger towards them off your mind even when they haven't done anything to you in a long time. I get angry at people sure but there comes a point where that calms down and isn't nearly as strong as it was before.

Overall, yeah I have but it's not something worth holding onto over time. It eats away at you and turns you into someone just as bad.

 

[LSN80]

I had a lot of hate towards my mother in my early 20's, mostly problems with how she treated my dad and myself terribly growing up. In my dad's opinion, to this day, I received many unnecessary spankings(kids of today, look it up)because my mother insisted...or she'ld leave him. That, coupled with unreasonably long punishments(9 week indoor groundings if I didn't make high honor roll) left me with a lot of venom, myself moving out as soon as I graduated college, and a poor relationship with the woman who raised me.(I'm adopted, so I can't say "birthed")

In the end, however, I realized that hating my mom would only negatively impact the type of person I wanted to be. Although my mother still isn't the person I'd like her to be, that's not on me, that's on her. And in letting go of the hate from my adolescent and teenage years, I've been able to form a good relationship with my mom where we can talk without fighting and I can visit my parents house without asking, and they do the same to mine. Ten years ago, having my dad over or meeting him out for dinner was the only way to see him, as I had no relationship with my mother, and honestly, I liked it that way.

But now, I'm happy with the change in relationship status, and it wholly had to do with the changes I made in bettering our relationship. Once I made those changes, she did as well, and things are much better as a result. The hate I once had was gone.

As for others, there's a college girlfriend I dated for 3 years I felt animosity towards for a long time, and still do time and again. I finished college over 10 years ago, and while it would seem silly at this point to harbor animosity, I'm technically related to her, as the only good thing to come from that relationship and its ending are the fact that my younger sister married the only man she ever dated, her younger brother. Still, she cheated on me after three years and left me out of nowhere for the guy she cheated with. I thought the hatred was gone, but for those familar with How I Met Your Mother, they ran a contest called How I Met My Other, which the two of them entered...and won. They got to cameo on the show, have dinner with the cast, and got lots of memorabilia and reminders of what a wonderful couple they are and how "sweet" their story of meeting was. Even if it was a total lie built on the back of my hurt.

How do I deal with that one? I have a wonderful wife that I love dearly, one who's far better looking then her and a much better person. Simple as that. Still, when my sister mentions her, which she's careful not to, I feel an old *pang* that no other girlfriend has even made me feel when thinking of them. And it's not from fond memories, it's that of disgust and anger. But it's an unpleasant, tiresome feeling that affects only myself, so I try my best to limit the feelings and forgive, regardless of the fact that she's never asked for it. I do it for me, the anger simmers, and I feel much better.

 

[Cereal Killer]

I was actually talking to some friends not long ago about who we hate in our year group a lot. Surprisingly, I couldn't think of anyone. Like Tasty said, there's the odd be**end you want to punch in the face, but for me it's not with pure hatred, it's just because they can get annoying sometimes.

Sometimes I can get angry but I'm excellent at controlling it and I don't really express the anger in any way. I remember that the particular person is going to have problems in their future because of who they are, they can be nice people sometimes or that whatever it is they did to me isn't really going to affect my future in any way for the most part.

Whenever somebody gets under your skin, it's usually because they did/said something to you but a lot of those times it's something not worth wasting your breath and energy with. If somebody swore at your mother, he's a d*ck, but how is that going to affect you in anyway and how does it take something away from you? I know that my mother is a nice woman so if someone said something bad about her, it would just be absurd. Mind you, I would want to hit that particular person but why should I hate them for saying something that doesn't really mean much to me. It may hurt you and that's a general response but after a while you realise it means nothing at all.

 

[Starkist]

Hate is a very strong word. I have in my past but now, it is not worth it. Life is to short to have hate even if we're entitled to feel it. I can say that I truly don't like someone with a passion, but hate is to extreme. If I don't like someone I truly just try to find a way to not bother with them so I don't reach the point of having to hate them. If I don't like you I just don't bother with you. I have enough issues so hating anyone is not another one I need.

 

[Dagger Dias]

Yes I have, but only more recently in the last couple of years. I have thrown the word "hate" around too often throughout my life in situations when it was too harsh of a word to fit the situation. Surely we have all "hated" our parents for making rules we dislike or "hated" our teachers for giving us idiotic classwork we do not wish to do. Perhaps one can also add the experience of having "hated" people we had feelings for when they date someone else, or more likely "hating" the other individual who is spending time with your love interest. In each of the above situations, and more, it is easy to claim to "hate" the individual, but in time all of these feelings go away as we move on with life.

There is one individual though who I despise with every fiber of my being. I have nothing redeeming to say about them as a human being, and what they did to create my disdain for them caused a series of events to follow that after almost two years are still going on. I'd rather not go into details as it is personal, but this person did cause me to truly "hate" them in the legitimate definition of the word. I call myself a Christian and it is not within my beliefs to have this degree of negative thought toward someone. I have forgiven this person verbally, but mentally I am still fighting internally with moving on from what he did. It's complicated. They are the only person who I can say that about, and I do not foresee there ever being a second due to the severity of what happened.

Long story short, yes, I have legitimately felt hate towards someone. The best thing to do is try to not think about whoever you might "hate". Surround yourself with friends, family, pets, or perhaps peers from school/work who care about you. That's helped me a great deal.

 

[Poop Master Flex]

Not anymore I don't although at points in my life it has certainly happen. Luckily for me any hate I had for anyone has an expiry date (usually a few days, never more than a month), then I usually just go to feeling indifferent as in I don't hate that person but I would prefer not to see them anymore. That will happen a lot in almost anyones life but I can't think of anyone I truly hate but in my experience I've learned I can forgive pretty much anything.

At this point in my life I hate having any hate for anyone, it consumes way too much of your time, it can pick apart your brain and emotions and when I get to a point I truly hate something, a change has to be made.I have pretty good control over my emotions but sometimes they will get the better of you and you will hate, even if its only for a second. When hate does come its important to get rid of it or it will eat away at you.

 

[Slash-LN]

For years I hated one of my brothers. He was emotionally and physically abusive beyond the typical big brother picking on little brother kind of stuff. I hated living in a house with him and when he finally moved out I was happy that I hardly ever had to talk to him or see him. As much as I hated him I also looked up to him as the male role model in my life and in between him being a total asshole he taught me some important lessons and I can say that I have some positive memories of him from that time.

As I got older he and I started getting along better. We're a lot alike in some ways. Eventually we sat down and talked and he apologized for everything he put me through and I accepted his apology and let all the negativity and bitterness towards him go. It was nice to let go of all that and what made it better for me was that he initiated the conversation. I didn't ask him for an apology. Anytime I talk to him about our childhood I can do so without thinking about all the bad shit.

There was a kid who moved to my town in 3rd grade who I hated and got in fights with between 3rd grade and 6th grade before I moved. Before this kid came I was well liked and actually enjoyed going to school. Since I had the stuff going on with my brother I hated being at home so school was an escape from that Then this kid came and from day one started picking on me and the people that were supposed to be my friends joined in so school suddenly became a shitty place to be too. I had a couple friends that stuck by my side through it but having the majority of your classmates turn on you for no reason at that age is kind of hard to deal with. When new kids would come to the school and try to make friends they would quickly quit trying because they didn't want to get made fun of too.

Anyway a few years ago I talked to that guy on Facebook and said what I had to say and we sent a few messages back and forth and talked things out in a calm rational way. It was probably dumb for me to hold that grudge for so long but at the same time it completely changed my attitude towards people and is something that still affects me and how I interact with people.

My most recent one was this girl I worked with a few years ago. She was the most negative person I ever met. Just one of those people you could never please. On top of it she was a hypocrite and a liar and one of those people who if she got in trouble for something she'd twist things around and try to deflect the blame onto other people. She went out of her way to try to get people in trouble. She was incredibly self absorb and would continuously try to talk to people who clearly had no interest in what she was saying. She not only annoyed me on a constant basis but would ruin the night of the second shifters as they were getting ready to leave and put the first shifters in a bad mood when they would get there in the morning. She drove away a few other third shifters at a quick rate and was finally told that if one more of them quit because of her she was going to be terminated because her negative attitude was affecting the company. She not only got complaints from fellow employees but a couple guests complained about her at times also. Lucky for her the final third shift person we got stayed around and our GM got fired eventually so there was no longer a threat when the new GM came in. Anyway in the end she got me fired after being there for 5 years because one night we were working together and I fell asleep and she called our GM and told on me despite the fact that it was the first time in 5 years I had ever fallen asleep and she did it almost on a nightly basis. The only difference was I admitted to it and I never had proof that she did it. In all though I was happy to get away from her. She was just one of the most miserable people I have ever been around.

 

[Jack-Hammer]

I don't think that I've ever truly, genuinely, 100%, flat out hated somebody. When I think of genuine hatred, I think of something that goes beyond being angry or just disliking someone or some thing. True hatred, to me, is generally something that goes beyond any real degree of rationality and is closer to insanity. There are people I've disliked, most certainly. Everybody also gets angry at someone for something, but hatred runs far deeper.

When I think of genuine hatred, I usually picture that the dislike towards someone or some thing is all consuming. I tried to read Moby Dick once, I don't know if there's a more boring book that's ever been printed. I didn't make it all the way through but I was able to discern, and this was long before I first saw the old movie with Gregory Peck as Captain Ahab, that Ahab genuinely hated the white whale. Killing the whale that crippled him was the only thing in his life that mattered to him. Not his commission as captain, not his family, not the lives of his crew nor even his own life mattered against his hatred for the whale. That's what I always imagine that true hatred is like: an all consuming need to lash out somehow against the person or thing that offends you so much that the possibility of being destroyed by your own hatred is secondary.

Genuine hate, to me, sounds like something that's exhausting in every way. With so much attention, energy and focus on your hatred and whatever it is that inspires it, it can even come to define who you are. If you manage to somehow eradicate whatever it is that you hate or is causing you to hate, what do you do with your life once that all consuming focus is suddenly gone?

 

[hatehabsforever]

I don't hate anyone. At all. Sure there's lots of people who annoy me or outright piss me off, but I cannot think of anyone I truly hate. Hatred is all consuming and is not worthy of the toll it takes on the individual. There are so many other more productive ways to occupy yourself. Don't get me wrong, there have been a variety of people over the years who have given me ample reason to feel hatred, but I really don't. I just choose to excise those people out of my life completely, and go forward without them. After all, apathy is far easier to live with than hatred.

 

[Rich the UK WWE Fan 2k14]

I hate British Prime Minister David Cameron and his Chancellor Gideon Osborne.

The British government are currently waging a war against people on benefits, yet Gideon Osborne himself claims child benefit for his kids, fucking hypocrite!

Due to various disabilities I have such as Asperger's syndrome, which is a mild form of Autism, I have been told I will never work for money, and will be on benefits for the rest of my life, hence I hate the government, because I have worked for over 20 years in a voluntary capacity for various local charities and other places.

 

[AhSpicyDrop]

A guy I considered to be a best friend for a good number of years sabotaged a long-term relationship that I was in and dedicated to from my early teens to early 20s, and ended up coaxing her away from me in the end. We were right in the middle of wedding arrangements, had bought a house; the whole nine yards. I went through a temporary psychosis after it happened and ended up spending some time in the state hospital. Lost a good paying job, the woman I thought I loved, a "best friend", and my house all in short-time.

So yeah, I know a thing or two about hatred... And I can tell you without being cliche that it can consume you. I was homeless for almost a year after I got out of the hospital, and it took me several years before I could even begin to let it go. Funny thing is years later and looking back the dude really did me a favor and saved me years of an unhappy marriage. The end result of hate is building up a lack of empathy for humanity. There's only maybe a handful of people I care about in life at this point, where as before I started hating I would have given a stranger the shirt off my back.

 

[Cena's Little Helper]

Without getting to bogged down in the minutae of my personal life, I have recently found that the answer to this question is yes for the first time ever. It's actually quite consuming, and makes me feel bitter and angry whenever I see the person in question. I would rather be completely indifferent to them, but I can't.

Through speaking to my friends, its sort of struck me that most people haven't ever truly hated someone - don't get me wrong, everyone dislikes bellends - but I'm talking about an actual simmering emotion that exists in the absence of the other person.

So my question is, have you ever hated another person, and did you find it as unpleasant as I do?

This is a very interesting question, Tasty. It all depends on what your definition of hate is. Let's take the following example from my life:

I have only been fired from one job in my entire life and I was treated like an absolute piece of shit for most of my tenure at this job. The two most important people at my work site (a regional VP of the company and the site manager) despised me because I was either much smarter than them, an arrogant, 18-year-old prick, or a mix of the two (I'm gonna go with the last option). After I was fired, I thought of ways that I could go out of my way to make their lives completely fucking miserable and I relished the thought of one day bringing to their lives nothing but the utmost misfortune, embarrassment, and humiliation. Of course, they kind of faded from my memory since I started university a few weeks later and entered into my first serious relationship.

Now, here's the tricky thing about these two people in regards to how I feel about them. I hadn't thought of them for years until you brought up this topic, and while I have let many bygones be bygones, if I came across these people today and held their fate in my hands, I would make sure they suffered and I would delight in their pain. So, if hate entails an all-consuming obsession with making someone else's life a living hell, then no, I do not hate these people. However, if hate entails a complete lack of sympathy or merciful feelings towards another, then yes, I hate these two people that I have just mentioned. No amount of apologies would change my mind either; I would flush them down the toilet even if they showed contrition.

 

[Reflection]

Hate is a strong emotion... It makes you want to ruin the other person, feel happy to see him go down, insult him, make him look stupid... Yes, there have been people in the past, towards whom I carried these emotions, but I discovered that it only makes you a worse human being, you get so consumed by your disgust towards the other person that you forget your own values and principles. I started doing weight training so that I would be strong enough that I could beat up someone I hate, if I have to... But now, even though I am strong enough to go ahead and pick a fight, I have just lost any interest I previously had in it. Now I just ignore and distance myself from people that I dislike, before that dislike turns to hate.

 

[Rich the UK WWE Fan 2k14]

Don't let me bore you with my opinion that Mr David Cameron is a complete knob sack bell end, him and his mate Gideon Osborne.