Big Papa Santo
Ryder? I barely even know her!
You see a handsome Russian man in a robe sitting by a fire. He is reading a book and turns around to greet you....Did we mention that he is super sexy and has a huge penis...cause he does
Santo: Oh why hello there, I was just enjoying everyones favorite Christmas Story "If I Did It" By OJ Simpson.
As he is putting away his book, his granddaughter, 4 walks down the stairs
Granddaughter: Grandpa I want to hear a story!
Santo: Well only if you promise to get back to bed, you have labor in the morning.
Granddaughter: I Promise!
Santo: Fine then.
Screen Fades To Black
Narrator: It was a cold 1942 Christmas night in Libya, the town was bustling with woman getting rocks thrown at them and the smell of revolution....But that isn't what was really the big event
The camera pans to a run-down hospital in Libya being run out of a shed
Ms.Gadaffi:AHHHHHHHH
Mr.Gadaffi:holding her hand Push honey just push!
Doctor:Removing baby from the womb Congratulations Mr. & Mrs. Ghadaffi, Its a Tyrant Ruler!
The screen fades to black
27 Years Later
Gadaffi: Ladies and gentlemen! It is time for a change in Libya
Crowd: WOOOOOOO
Gadaffi:I will bring peace, happiness and Casual Fridays to Libya!
Crowd: WOOOOOOOOO
Backstage
Assistant: Muammar that was a great speech
Gadaffi: Thank.......
Gadaffi looks and see's the most beautiful thing that he's ever seen
He steps closer to greet the woman
Gadaffi: Why....What is your name
Woman: Safi......Stone gets thrown at her for opening her mouth
They both smile at eachother
Narrator: He would then go on to marry her
October 2011
Gadaffi: Crying
Safia: What is wrong?
Gadaffi: My people! Nothing is good enough for them! Sobs I do acts of homocide, i rape their women, I do everything to please them and all that they do is revolt!
Safaa: Hone.....Gadaffi Slaps her hand away
Safia: Crying
Gadaffi trys to comfort her but she runs away with a suitcase to live with her mom
Gadaffi: Kneeling on the floor crying My wife has left me, my people hate me and I have no-one
Voice: Except me
Gadaffi: Who's tha..........Chevy Chase????
Chevy: Hey champ, cheer up your people love you, you just need to come around to them
Gadaffi: Bu.....Chevy kiss's him before he can say a wordUm...What was that?
Chevy:Well.....did you like it?
Gadaffi: I mean....it was...different
Chevy: Listen I understand....you've never been kissed by a guy before its alright.... I'll just leave
5 minutes later
Chevy:Shouting Muammar? I left my wallet here
Sexy voice: I'm in here
Chevy follows a line of rose pedals to Gadaffis bedroom wher ehe finds gadaffi in lingerie
Gadaffi: Chevy Kissing Chevys chest I've been thinking about it....and well.....I do want to know what it feels like to be with another man.....
They make out wildly and have sex for 5 hours straight
Camera zooms over the bed
Chevy: That was the best sex ever!
Gadaffi: Lighting a cigaretteMhm....listen Chevy i have to um....go somewhere
Chevy: Why dont you just come back to bed?
Gadaffi: Throws money at Chevy Heres some cab-fare
Granddaughter: Grandpa Santo, whats sex?
Santo: Oh dont worry, your adopted
Gadaffi is driving into a rebel fort, he checks his cellphone and there are 500 missed calls from Chevy Chase
Gadaffi: Walking in with a mic in his hand Is this thing on? ha-ha Nervously
Rebels:Loading guns
Gadaffi:Swallows deepSo how many virgins does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Santo: And well Suzy, thats the end of the story
Granddaughter: Angry But I want to hear another story!
Santo: Well there is this one about how your grandmother is a total ****e
Granddaughter: Interested
The camera fades away as we see the little cabin in the woods, and though the window we see a peacful Christmas sight, Santo holding his granddaug....oh my.....oh god no...theres blood everywhere....oh jesus christ..it seems that robber shave broken in....oh my there crucifying her body
Narrator Gets the fuck out of there
Santo: Oh why hello there, I was just enjoying everyones favorite Christmas Story "If I Did It" By OJ Simpson.
As he is putting away his book, his granddaughter, 4 walks down the stairs
Granddaughter: Grandpa I want to hear a story!
Santo: Well only if you promise to get back to bed, you have labor in the morning.
Granddaughter: I Promise!
Santo: Fine then.
Screen Fades To Black
Narrator: It was a cold 1942 Christmas night in Libya, the town was bustling with woman getting rocks thrown at them and the smell of revolution....But that isn't what was really the big event
The camera pans to a run-down hospital in Libya being run out of a shed
Ms.Gadaffi:AHHHHHHHH
Mr.Gadaffi:holding her hand Push honey just push!
Doctor:Removing baby from the womb Congratulations Mr. & Mrs. Ghadaffi, Its a Tyrant Ruler!
The screen fades to black
27 Years Later
Gadaffi: Ladies and gentlemen! It is time for a change in Libya
Crowd: WOOOOOOO
Gadaffi:I will bring peace, happiness and Casual Fridays to Libya!
Crowd: WOOOOOOOOO
Backstage
Assistant: Muammar that was a great speech
Gadaffi: Thank.......
Gadaffi looks and see's the most beautiful thing that he's ever seen
He steps closer to greet the woman
Gadaffi: Why....What is your name
Woman: Safi......Stone gets thrown at her for opening her mouth
They both smile at eachother
Narrator: He would then go on to marry her
October 2011
Gadaffi: Crying
Safia: What is wrong?
Gadaffi: My people! Nothing is good enough for them! Sobs I do acts of homocide, i rape their women, I do everything to please them and all that they do is revolt!
Safaa: Hone.....Gadaffi Slaps her hand away
Safia: Crying
Gadaffi trys to comfort her but she runs away with a suitcase to live with her mom
Gadaffi: Kneeling on the floor crying My wife has left me, my people hate me and I have no-one
Voice: Except me
Gadaffi: Who's tha..........Chevy Chase????
Chevy: Hey champ, cheer up your people love you, you just need to come around to them
Gadaffi: Bu.....Chevy kiss's him before he can say a wordUm...What was that?
Chevy:Well.....did you like it?
Gadaffi: I mean....it was...different
Chevy: Listen I understand....you've never been kissed by a guy before its alright.... I'll just leave
5 minutes later
Chevy:Shouting Muammar? I left my wallet here
Sexy voice: I'm in here
Chevy follows a line of rose pedals to Gadaffis bedroom wher ehe finds gadaffi in lingerie
Gadaffi: Chevy Kissing Chevys chest I've been thinking about it....and well.....I do want to know what it feels like to be with another man.....
They make out wildly and have sex for 5 hours straight
Camera zooms over the bed
Chevy: That was the best sex ever!
Gadaffi: Lighting a cigaretteMhm....listen Chevy i have to um....go somewhere
Chevy: Why dont you just come back to bed?
Gadaffi: Throws money at Chevy Heres some cab-fare
Granddaughter: Grandpa Santo, whats sex?
Santo: Oh dont worry, your adopted
Gadaffi is driving into a rebel fort, he checks his cellphone and there are 500 missed calls from Chevy Chase
Gadaffi: Walking in with a mic in his hand Is this thing on? ha-ha Nervously
Rebels:Loading guns
Gadaffi:Swallows deepSo how many virgins does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Santo: And well Suzy, thats the end of the story
Granddaughter: Angry But I want to hear another story!
Santo: Well there is this one about how your grandmother is a total ****e
Granddaughter: Interested
The camera fades away as we see the little cabin in the woods, and though the window we see a peacful Christmas sight, Santo holding his granddaug....oh my.....oh god no...theres blood everywhere....oh jesus christ..it seems that robber shave broken in....oh my there crucifying her body
Narrator Gets the fuck out of there
