Batista Wins the Rumble, Negating all that is real

[The Big Gunnzbowski]

Why and the absolute fuck would they let Batista win this thing? The boos were so deafening I couldn't tell who the fans hated more, Cena or Batista. This years rumble was like awkwardly watching your mother-in-law forced to give head to a burglar... or like watching somebody rape the hamburglar... I lost myself...

Right. The Rumble was shit! The NAO come back after 47 years and reclaim the tag titles, Randy Orton and Cena got boooooooooooring'd out of the fucking building, Kane enters the rumble in dress pants, and Batista wins the fucking thing. This is like Doc Brown went back in time to 1996 and shit on Stephanie McMahon, thus altering the timeline, and this is what we got. I half expected Pete Gas to come barreling down the aisle at number 22 and Papa Shango to voodoo curse Michael Cole... JBL steals a number to get eliminated and the spanish announce table ate a fat one again? What the hell, man??

Somebody got some 'splainin to do!

**On a side note, I wouldn't mind a sig of the spanish announce table, kind of like "In Memory of" or something...

 

[The Butcher]

If there's a way to watch your mother-in-law ******e a burglar that isn't awkward, I haven't found it yet.

 

[One Punch Doug Crashin]

What is this WCW 2.0?

 

[Jonny B]

If there's a way to watch your mother-in-law ******e a burglar that isn't awkward, I haven't found it yet.

Join in

 

[Fire Marshall Bill]

This years rumble was like awkwardly watching your mother-in-law forced to give head to a burglar... or like watching somebody rape the hamburglar... I lost myself...

If there's a way to watch your mother-in-law ******e a burglar that isn't awkward, I haven't found it yet.

Seriously. What kind of analogies are these? How is it that your head went here first?

And people who are surprised by Batista winning are just naive. The guy is a first class asshole. I guarantee you the Rumble victory was written into his contract or, at the least, a verbal agreement.

 

[Serious Mozzarella]

Seriously. What kind of analogies are these? How is it that your head went here first?.

This is literally all I thought about reading this thread. I'm pissed about the ending too, but it didn't force me to think about my mom ******ing anyone.

 

[Coco]

For some reason, all I can think about is that one scene from Killer Joe. Not quite a burger, but that's where my mind went. How would one even give head to a burger?

*Edit* Oh. Burglar. Yeah, That makes more sense.

 

[Danger Burger]

Man, that PPV last night was brilliant! From start till Alberto Del Rio I had a great time watching.

 

[Pay Per Ghost]

The ******io analogy is running wild.

I'm over Bryan not being in the Rumble now Gunzz thanks!

 

[Serious Mozzarella]

The PPV was great, but the Rumble itself was a clusterfuck. Batista has no business being anywhere near the winner of the Rumble. Daniel Bryan shouldn't have gone under clean. Daniel Bryan should have been in the Rumble. El Torito is just Hornswoggle, but racist. JBL was a waste. I don't understand how you can make it look like you have something white-hot going in your fan base, and intentionally fuck it all up because you want your friends in the main event picture.

 

[Danger Burger]

The PPV was great, but the Rumble itself was a clusterfuck. Batista has no business being anywhere near the winner of the Rumble. Daniel Bryan shouldn't have gone under clean. Daniel Bryan should have been in the Rumble. El Torito is just Hornswoggle, but racist. JBL was a waste. I don't understand how you can make it look like you have something white-hot going in your fan base, and intentionally fuck it all up because you want your friends in the main event picture.

Wait, wait, wait... people didn't enjoy El Torrito? He was one of the Rumble highlights for me. Guy is heaps more entertaining than the two fall scale models walking around with him. Hilarious stuff with Punk. Far more talented than 'swoggle. As for how you consider Minotaur a race....

 

[FlexAmerican Dynamite]

I'm re-watching the Rumble now, still extremely fun to watch, wrong ending but still fun. Bryan didn't even need to win the rumble, he just needed to enter and be eliminated by Batista, because face Batista is worse than any goofy Cena promo.

 

[Serious Mozzarella]

Wait, wait, wait... people didn't enjoy El Torrito? He was one of the Rumble highlights for me. Guy is heaps more entertaining than the two fall scale models walking around with him. Hilarious stuff with Punk. Far more talented than 'swoggle. As for how you consider Minotaur a race....

More volumes being spoken at the fact El Torito was a Rumble highlight for anybody.

 

[Danger Burger]

More volumes being spoken at the fact El Torito was a Rumble highlight for anybody.

The rumble was great until about number twenty seven. A LOT happened. Ziggler came back to a great pop, The shield stuff was brilliant, Cody/Goldy, RUSEV, Kofi's leap of faith, setup for Punk v Kane, and Reigns dominating were all brilliant. And I'm certain I'm forgetting some.

El Torrito was one of several highlights in a very good rumble match. My apologies for enjoying a little comic relief.

Its most the roster in the ring at the same time, of course its going to be a clusterfuck, but this was one of the least clusterfucky I've ever sat through. Don't let the last few minutes ruin what was otherwise a pretty good PPV. Bad booking doesn't necessarily equate bad wrestling.

 

[Fire Marshall Bill]

I'm pretty sure people would be just as pissed if DB entered the RR and didn't win. Frankly I think they kept him out of it more for protection than anything. Not to mention, if someone like Cena got his ass whipped earlier in the show, then entered the RR, peope would bitch he didn't sell the first match. Double standard.

 

[Coco]

The rumble was great until about number twenty seven.

I enjoyed it all the way to the end. There was a visceral thrill to see that level of crowd mutiny. And it wasn't till the final moments that the crowd really got behind Reigns. Even though I knew he had no chance, I let myself get caught up in that moment.

That was electric. In a Lesnar-Goldberg way, sure. But electric nonetheless.

 

[Danger Burger]

I'm pretty sure people would be just as pissed if DB entered the RR and didn't win. Frankly I think they kept him out of it more for protection than anything. Not to mention, if someone like Cena got his ass whipped earlier in the show, then entered the RR, peope would bitch he didn't sell the first match. Double standard.

What if they had a segment earlier of the medics and Triple H saying "we can't let you do it. Too risky. Have to check for head injuries etc" then have Bryan crush out through three or four referees, security, whatever to compete.

Trouble is, with the Wyatts aimed at cena now, there's no heel aimed at Bryan that could get away with taking him out. You could have Lesnar (etc) destroy him before he enters... But that's been done. There's no real solution to the DB problem if you can't have him win.

 

[Danger Burger]

I enjoyed it all the way to the end. There was a visceral thrill to see that level of crowd mutiny. And it wasn't till the final moments that the crowd really got behind Reigns. Even though I knew he had no chance, I let myself get caught up in that moment.

That was electric. In a Lesnar-Goldberg way, sure. But electric nonetheless.

Agreed. I was in shock. And am more excited for Raw tonight than in a long while. Bisch was right saying Controversy Creates Cash. It's not the entertainment they planned, but i'll be damned if tonight's rating/viewership doesn't dramatically improve on last weeks.

 

[Blade]

I enjoyed it all the way to the end. There was a visceral thrill to see that level of crowd mutiny. And it wasn't till the final moments that the crowd really got behind Reigns. Even though I knew he had no chance, I let myself get caught up in that moment.

That was electric. In a Lesnar-Goldberg way, sure. But electric nonetheless.

I didn't think that Reigns had a chance either, but look at when he screams after spearing Batista. That looks like the scream of a man totally hopped up on adrenaline cause he knows he's about to win the Rumble. So yeah, I was fooled for a moment cause Reigns is awesome.

 

[Mighty NorCal]

I will chuckle at how foolish 99% of people look when this is all revealed to be WWE trolling.

Yea, totally burying Bryan. Since he is now more over than ever.

 

[Pay Per Ghost]

I will chuckle at how foolish 99% of people look when this is all revealed to be WWE trolling.

Yea, totally burying Bryan. Since he is now more over than ever.

SO by not giving them Bryan, Bryan is more in demand. Makes sense.

Trouble is, come WM 30 the ME might have Batista Vs Orton and the crowd will be still crying for Bryan hours after his match has passed on the card....kinda like what happened in the WWE Title match at the RR.

The Rumble names were underwhelming but their performances were not. Fun little things from time to time. I liked it till No 30. I didn't see what happened after Kane took out Punk I think. I was disappointed Bryan didn't show up and stopped watching.

But hey WWE is just trolling me I guess.

 

[Coco]

I will chuckle at how foolish 99% of people look when this is all revealed to be WWE trolling.

Yea, totally burying Bryan. Since he is now more over than ever.

There'll be a large sect who won't see things that way regardless. All they'll see is WWE scrambling to fix their mistake or some such bullshit.

 

[FlexAmerican Dynamite]

It's impossible to know what management really thinks from the perspective of a computer screen. It's extremely easy to complain without knowing what the end game is and even easier to act like you're the smarter fan by saying it will all make sense two months from now.

The Rumble was much better than the last five months, so enjoy the time of entertainment we have until late August/September. Then everyone suffers.

 

[Mighty NorCal]

Trouble is, come WM 30 the ME might have Batista Vs Orton and the crowd will be still crying for Bryan hours after his match has passed on the card....kinda like what happened in the WWE Title match at the RR.


But hey WWE is just trolling me I guess.

WM is how many days away? I must have missed them announcing that it will take place tonight

 

[Барбоса]

If the Authority's corruption in getting things how they wanted was far more overt I would be completely sold on the whole sidelining Bryan thing being intentional in a kayfabe sense.

However, a small part of me still thinks that Vince and Co. cannot/will not see that Bryan has grown beyond "flash in the pan" popularity and will attempt to forge ahead with Batista as a face.

Of course, that could be all changed in the next few hours when Kanye Batista appears on RAW and Punk and Bryan spend the next ten weeks exposing that insidious DegenEvoCorp corruption leading into Mania.