The Dragon Saga
Whale in a Teardrop
Ever since I was a young lad, playing football in my back garden and beating up kids cause I watched wrestling and thought it was normal, I always viewed America as "it" in a way. I mean, America is apparently the ideal world we should all strive to live in, majority of great minds and ideas come from your part of the world, weren't you if not aren't (because I'm not too into economics) the richest country or thereabouts in the world?
But I've realized in recent years and especially in the last few months working in not only one of the busiest pubs in Dublin but Ireland as a whole, an apparent "premiere" holiday destination for those of the United States that you are the home to some of the most naive, pretentious, arrogant fucks in the entire world!
Ireland is bad. I mean the stereotype you read about drinking to excessive levels and being fond of a fight is true, no denying that, but the American stereotype - which outside of America isn't that you're a bunch of fat apes, which is what you assume - that your extremely ignorant and think no matter where you go in the world you own it, was verbally conveyed live and in living color for me tonight.
I was working, I'm a barman, I tend to an average of 2,100 customers every night (just as an example, out stock in take this morning was approximately 3,800, on top of the leftovers of previous days) and we managed to bring in over 4,900 for the night, between six in the evening to one-thirty at night, and because we're centered in the heart of Dublin our biggest consumer in the summer months? Tourists!
Tonight I dealt with three American tourists who brought me to the desire of physical beating! The first one was during rush our, between 9:00pm and 11:00pm, we tend to have inside and outside an estimate of 1,000+ customers, so it'd not easy to tend to everyone. Now the average Irish and having drank, holiday'd and known several British people time for an order to actually get to you after ordering in an extremely busy atmosphere is three minutes. Within one minute, if even after two Americans asked me for three Guinness they were shouting at me - not asking, not talking - but shouting at me, "do you know who we are?"
I wanted to shove a pint glass down each of their throats and watch them gag on their own stomach fluid! Do I know who you are? Your a cunt who has came to my country, probably claiming to have some heritage - because lets be honest, the best parts of America weren't built by Americans themselves but the Irish who emigrated there - and then when I respond by shrugging my shoulders I get three odd looks as though, "who does he think he is?"
I had no real power of those Americans, nor did I over the duo who asked me, "where are the toilets?" to which I responded, "their down the stairs." These idiots literally walked down the stairs, were inches away from the lads toilets but in some stupidity turned back, found me to tell me, "the toilets aren't down the stairs, we looked," you looked? They were inches from you, you stupid prick! So when I gave them the instruction, "down the stairs, walk forward and to the left" I was then told, "you should have said that first, your first direction wasn't good." Wasn't good? Because your to thick to walk down a small hallway and look to either side?
But the best is as always left to last. Bar closes at 1:30am, that are when the final round it taken in, customers are handed a leaflet of possible places to head once we're closed. Guess what a certain group of Americans decides? "We're not moving, we're staying right where we are, and when we order drinks after the final call we'll argue because we're on holiday". I not only had to help assist an American from the building due to his behavior but when he went to the nightclub across the street, was told no access and then began a fight about it with security because, "I'm on holiday and some of my ancestors are from Kerry" had to request they leave the AREA, which includes six pubs, two nightclubs and a hotel on the same street.
I am begging some of you who are American that this is just some coincidence, that the worst of you do travel abroad and when they do, they make a bad name for those who are decent folk? That your not all naive, ignorant, edjits who think the entire globe revolves around, because if you do you should truly see what the rest of the world thinks of American and those who consume it. I know what people think of the Irish and the stereotype is so true, but we've not got all that bad of one, Americas is one which you'd want to disprove.
But I've realized in recent years and especially in the last few months working in not only one of the busiest pubs in Dublin but Ireland as a whole, an apparent "premiere" holiday destination for those of the United States that you are the home to some of the most naive, pretentious, arrogant fucks in the entire world!
Ireland is bad. I mean the stereotype you read about drinking to excessive levels and being fond of a fight is true, no denying that, but the American stereotype - which outside of America isn't that you're a bunch of fat apes, which is what you assume - that your extremely ignorant and think no matter where you go in the world you own it, was verbally conveyed live and in living color for me tonight.
I was working, I'm a barman, I tend to an average of 2,100 customers every night (just as an example, out stock in take this morning was approximately 3,800, on top of the leftovers of previous days) and we managed to bring in over 4,900 for the night, between six in the evening to one-thirty at night, and because we're centered in the heart of Dublin our biggest consumer in the summer months? Tourists!
Tonight I dealt with three American tourists who brought me to the desire of physical beating! The first one was during rush our, between 9:00pm and 11:00pm, we tend to have inside and outside an estimate of 1,000+ customers, so it'd not easy to tend to everyone. Now the average Irish and having drank, holiday'd and known several British people time for an order to actually get to you after ordering in an extremely busy atmosphere is three minutes. Within one minute, if even after two Americans asked me for three Guinness they were shouting at me - not asking, not talking - but shouting at me, "do you know who we are?"
I wanted to shove a pint glass down each of their throats and watch them gag on their own stomach fluid! Do I know who you are? Your a cunt who has came to my country, probably claiming to have some heritage - because lets be honest, the best parts of America weren't built by Americans themselves but the Irish who emigrated there - and then when I respond by shrugging my shoulders I get three odd looks as though, "who does he think he is?"
I had no real power of those Americans, nor did I over the duo who asked me, "where are the toilets?" to which I responded, "their down the stairs." These idiots literally walked down the stairs, were inches away from the lads toilets but in some stupidity turned back, found me to tell me, "the toilets aren't down the stairs, we looked," you looked? They were inches from you, you stupid prick! So when I gave them the instruction, "down the stairs, walk forward and to the left" I was then told, "you should have said that first, your first direction wasn't good." Wasn't good? Because your to thick to walk down a small hallway and look to either side?
But the best is as always left to last. Bar closes at 1:30am, that are when the final round it taken in, customers are handed a leaflet of possible places to head once we're closed. Guess what a certain group of Americans decides? "We're not moving, we're staying right where we are, and when we order drinks after the final call we'll argue because we're on holiday". I not only had to help assist an American from the building due to his behavior but when he went to the nightclub across the street, was told no access and then began a fight about it with security because, "I'm on holiday and some of my ancestors are from Kerry" had to request they leave the AREA, which includes six pubs, two nightclubs and a hotel on the same street.
I am begging some of you who are American that this is just some coincidence, that the worst of you do travel abroad and when they do, they make a bad name for those who are decent folk? That your not all naive, ignorant, edjits who think the entire globe revolves around, because if you do you should truly see what the rest of the world thinks of American and those who consume it. I know what people think of the Irish and the stereotype is so true, but we've not got all that bad of one, Americas is one which you'd want to disprove.
