50 British Traits

[Y 2 Jake]

1. Talking about the weather
2. Being great at queueing
3. Sarcasm
4. Watching soaps
5. Getting drunk
6. A love of bargains
7. A love of curtain twitching
8. Stiff upper lip
9. Love of all television
10. Moaning
11. Obsession with class
12. Gossiping with neighbours over the garden fence
13. Obsession with the traffic
14. Enjoying other people's misfortune
15. Inability to complain
16. Love of cheap foreign holidays
17. Working long hours
18. A sooting cup of tea to ease worries
19. Eating meat and two veg
20. Looking uncomfortable on the dance floor
21. Feeling uncomfortable when people talk about their emotions
22. Cleve sense of humour
23. Obsession with property values
24. Pandering to political correctness
25. Road rage
26. Being unhappy with our weigh
27. Wanting a good tan
28. Being proud of where we live
29. Not saying what we mean
30. The ability to laugh at ourselves
31. Washing the car on a sunday
32. Taking the mickey out of others
33. Asking people about their journey
34. Inability not to comment on how other people bring up their children
35. Jealousy of wealth and success
36. Being overly polite
37. Texting instead of aclling
38. Inability to express our emotions
39. Obsession with the royal family
40. Mowing the lawn
41. Love of rambling through the countryside
42. A love of all things deep fried
43. Emulating celebrity lifestyles
44. Leaving things to the last minute
45. Irony
46. Keeping our homes nice and tidy
47. Take decisions and accept the consequences
48. Achieving against all odds
49. Wabting our sportsmen/teams to fail
50. DIY on a bank holiday

 

[Rusty]

You British sound a lot like us Australians.

 

[Tim]

That's what I thought.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

And why would that be?

 

[Downward Spiral]

Hmm, the 'inability to complain' thing is clearly not Australian. So I guess some things could be uniquely British traits on this list.

 

[Rusty]

I reckon about 30 of them are similar to ours.

 

[Tim]

I'd say 35.

 

[Rusty]

Did you count exactly 35, Tim

 

[Tim]

I scanned the list, then looked in depth a second time. But I didn't count. If you conuted it you have to be really bored.

 

[Rusty]

Exactly, you ARE really bored.

 

[Tim]

Not bored enough.

 

[Rusty]

That's because I'm entertaining.

 

[Tim]

 

[Rusty]

See, I just made you laugh.

Point proven.

 

[Tim]

I'm laughing because that post is about the only post you have made that was entertaining.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

2. Being great at queueing
3. Sarcasm
4. Watching soaps
5. Getting drunk
6. A love of bargains
14. Enjoying other people's misfortune
18. A sooting cup of tea to ease worries
20. Looking uncomfortable on the dance floor
21. Feeling uncomfortable when people talk about their emotions
22. Clever sense of humour
23. Obsession with property values
28. Being proud of where we live
30. The ability to laugh at ourselves
32. Taking the mickey out of others
38. Inability to express our emotions
45. Irony
46. Keeping our homes nice and tidy

That's me.

 

[Uncle Sam]

1. Talking about the weather

Not particularly. I mean, I don't go out of my way to ignore it...

2. Being great at queueing

I suck balls at it. My legs start to itch.

3. Sarcasm

Sure.

4. Watching soaps

Yep.

5. Getting drunk

Uh-huh.

6. A love of bargains

Who doesn't?

7. A love of curtain twitching

I don't have curtains.

8. Stiff upper lip

No.

9. Love of all television

Definitely not.

10. Moaning

You know what's really shit? Irony.

11. Obsession with class

Like upper and lower? No, not at all.

12. Gossiping with neighbours over the garden fence

I hate my neighbours.

13. Obsession with the traffic

I use public transport.

14. Enjoying other people's misfortune

That's the Germans.

15. Inability to complain

What? I'm shy!

16. Love of cheap foreign holidays

New York cost a lot.

17. Working long hours

Far too lazy.

18. A sooting cup of tea to ease worries

Not really.

19. Eating meat and two veg

Don't even know what that is.

20. Looking uncomfortable on the dance floor

I am. Just because I don't want to look like a twat, you understand. I fail.

21. Feeling uncomfortable when people talk about their emotions

I don't understand why the people talking aren't uncomfortable. But yeah, fuck off.

22. Cleve sense of humour

I like to think so.

23. Obsession with property values

Nada.

24. Pandering to political correctness

I ask my Muslim friend if he wants a hot dog a lot.

25. Road rage

Public transport.

26. Being unhappy with our weigh

No. I'm skinny.

27. Wanting a good tan

Tans are for losers.

28. Being proud of where we live

Yeah, but I live in London. I should be proud.

29. Not saying what we mean

Erm, no.

30. The ability to laugh at ourselves

Poke fun at myself, yes. Laugh at myself, no. Think Goodfellas.

31. Washing the car on a sunday

Public transport.

32. Taking the mickey out of others

Yeah. 'Cos I'm better than them.

33. Asking people about their journey

Couldn't care less.

34. Inability not to comment on how other people bring up their children

Only 'cos a lot of kids are little shits.

35. Jealousy of wealth and success

Why wouldn't I want to be rich and successful?

36. Being overly polite

Nuh-uh.

37. Texting instead of aclling

I use predictive, so it's OK.

38. Inability to express our emotions

Doesn't this contradict the other one?

39. Obsession with the royal family

Why should I care?

40. Mowing the lawn

You mean the garden.

41. Love of rambling through the countryside

No, I'd rather drive.

42. A love of all things deep fried

That's an American thing. But yes, I do.

43. Emulating celebrity lifestyles

I'm sure some celebrity has a big ass TV and tons of DVDs, but I don't go out of my way.

44. Leaving things to the last minute

True, though I'm very punctual.

45. Irony

See the moaning one.

46. Keeping our homes nice and tidy

I'd like to, but it always turns into a shithole.

47. Take decisions and accept the consequences

Pfft.

48. Achieving against all odds

Dat's the shit. But no. I should have really achieved much more by this stage in life. I'm posting on a wrestling forum.

49. Wabting our sportsmen/teams to fail

Just the footballers. The national team.

50. DIY on a bank holiday

More like GSETDI.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

I was going to do that, but I thought better of it.

 

[Uncle Sam]

I thought it was something you might do. So I did it.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

Ok, twist my arm. Give my 5 minutes.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

1. Talking about the weather

Why do people feel the need to point out to me that it's raining, or that I'm wet for that matter.

I'm pretty sure we need the stuff, so I don't complain about it.

2. Being great at queueing

I'm a very patient man. See Survivor like, 10 years ago, when that bloke stood on a log for 2 days? I could do that.

3. Sarcasm

Not really.

4. Watching soaps

Only 'Oaks. I You Tube for Chelsea's clevage.

5. Getting drunk

Not as much as I used to.

6. A love of bargains

I literally get wet. Like literally.

7. A love of curtain twitching

You know what I can see outside my windown? Cobble, and the odd pair of legs.

8. Stiff upper lip

You mean carry on regardless? Yup.

9. Love of all television

I watch DVD's on my TV. But Hollyoaks, Harry Hill & wrestling is all I watch.

10. Moaning

Nah. Just get on with it.

11. Obsession with class

I don't like the people who are of a lower class to me. Or the posh people.

12. Gossiping with neighbours over the garden fence

I talk to the secretary who works next door. But she's got big boobs.

13. Obsession with the traffic

I bus where possible.

14. Enjoying other people's misfortune

Yes, yes I do.

15. Inability to complain

I can complain, I just don't.

16. Love of cheap foreign holidays

If there's somewhere I want to go I'll go regardless of price. Unless it's too expensive.

17. Working long hours

You are joking. I've done about 3 weeks in the past 18 months.

18. A sooting cup of tea to ease worries

I don't worry, but I loves me some tea.

19. Eating meat and two veg

I'm a veggie who doesn't eat veg.

20. Looking uncomfortable on the dance floor

I just don't get it. Dancing is only fun when you do shit impressions of other peoples shit dancing.

21. Feeling uncomfortable when people talk about their emotions

It's weird, nobody ever talks about that stuff with me. My advive of ''Kill yourself if that's waht you want'' mustn't go down well.

22. Cleve sense of humour

I'm better face to face.

23. Obsession with property values

Yes.

24. Pandering to political correctness

Lol.

25. Road rage

Deeply amused when I'm on the receiving end. But I don't rage.

26. Being unhappy with our weigh

I'm buff.

27. Wanting a good tan

What, so £5,000 worth of tattoos can fade?

28. Being proud of where we live

Yeah, Stoke is lovely.

29. Not saying what we mean

Not an issue for me most of the time.

30. The ability to laugh at ourselves

Yes. I'm aware of how ridiculous I am.

31. Washing the car on a sunday

Surely what rain is for.

32. Taking the mickey out of others

It's why I let them hang out with me.

33. Asking people about their journey

I couldn't give a shit.

34. Inability not to comment on how other people bring up their children

I don't care about other peoples children.

35. Jealousy of wealth and success

I don't know anybody with any wealth or success.

36. Being overly polite

I'm only polite to people once they've been polite first.

37. Texting instead of aclling

Don't do much of either.

38. Inability to express our emotions

Why would I break down in front of somebody?

39. Obsession with the royal family

Stereotype.

40. Mowing the lawn

Mowing concrete.

41. Love of rambling through the countryside

Windy walks are for dog walkers and flashers.

42. A love of all things deep fried

Indeed.

43. Emulating celebrity lifestyles

I susbscribe to Heat, which I hear all the celebs read.

44. Leaving things to the last minute

Never.

45. Irony

I don't get it.

46. Keeping our homes nice and tidy

Mine smells of bleach.

47. Take decisions and accept the consequences

I don't actually make any decisions these days.

48. Achieving against all odds

Yes. I was supposed to be a commoner.

49. Wabting our sportsmen/teams to fail

I don't give a shit, I'm watching either way.

50. DIY on a bank holiday

Any day really. I'm not leaving the house so I may as well grout my bathroom.